Vlogger

by Sithspawn

An anonymous guy begins to notice strange changes in his body and starts a video blog to document what’s happening.

Added: 13 Mar 2021 Updated: 27 Mar 2021 21,599 words 2,662 views 5.0 stars (4 votes)

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What’s going on everyone it’s your boy Clarky379 here…God that sounds lame with my accent.

Okay let’s try again.

Hi guys and welcome to the vi…

Oh yeah and girls…if they’re watching…hi guys and girls…gah! That sounds even worse. I didn’t realise it’d be so difficult to start this off.

Right…anyway…screw it.

Welcome to my first video and I guess welcome to the channel.

As you can tell by that terrible intro I’m not really into multiple takes or editing so this is going to be pretty raw and probably include a lot of rambling. There’s a good reason for that though and it’s because I don’t want anyone to think I’m doing any video wizardry or anything like that to trick you all. I might have to do a bit of editing if I need to stop filming and start again for some reason, but hopefully that won’t happen. I’ll probably end up repeating myself quite a bit and there may even be some swearing so if that offends you then I apologise in advance, but like I said, I don’t want to go back and edit anything unless it’s something that might get the video taken down, like one of my testicles coming into shot or something like that. Um…not that I’m planning on any nudity being in this so I have no idea why that example came into my head; but you get the picture.

Right so; let’s get things started shall we? Okay, so first things first my name isn’t Clark, like, Clark doesn’t appear in my real name at all; not first name, middle name or surname, I just picked it for…I dunno really, I just kinda like it. And the numbers don’t mean anything either, I just picked them out at random and luckily no one else had that username. I’m not going to be saying much about my real life as I think things might get complicated later on if I do. Having said that, I will point out that I’m over eighteen, whether that’s by one day or a few years I’m not going to say, I’ll leave you all to speculate on that. I don’t have any family to speak of so I’m just kinda bumbling around the UK at the moment like a feather in the wind. I have no real plan of where I’m going or what I’m doing; I’m just kinda going with the flow.

So why am I making this video then? And why am I in a forest in the middle of nowhere? Well I’m glad you asked, or at least I hope you did. I don’t even know if anyone’s gonna watch this thing but whatever. So the reason for all this is because things have gone a little weird with me lately. I dunno what actually happened but a while ago I got this weird feeling one night like…I dunno…a kind of energy surge or something like that. You know like when you get an adrenaline rush? Only it hasn’t really stopped since then. It just feels like my body’s about to go through some weird change so I thought if it does then it might be worth documenting it. I don’t mean a change like puberty or anything like that, obviously that’s been and gone, but this feels like…I dunno…like I feel stronger, but for no reason. I mean look at me, I’m not exactly a fit guy or anything like that. I’ve tried working out in the past but I just get bored and my mind starts to wander. The only reason I’m as slim as I am is because I walk a lot and eat right. Well okay, that’s not technically true, I eat unhealthy crap but it doesn’t seem to affect me so I’m not going to complain.

Speaking of eating though. I don’t feel like I’ve been eating or even drinking as much as I used to lately. It’s like I’m only eating when I feel I should be and even then I’m going for stuff I like the taste of rather than thinking about what will fill me up. Like I might just have a chocolate bar and that’ll last me for hours. Maybe I’ll try and see how long I can last in a day without eating. If I don’t post any videos after that you’ll know it was a stupid idea and I starved to death in a forest somewhere. Oh yeah, that brings me back to the earlier question, why am I in a forest? Well to be honest I want to get away from people when I’m making these videos, because if something really weird is going on with my body I don’t want loads of people around asking questions about it. What could be going on I hear you ask, well that’s just the thing, I don’t know. But like I said, it just feels like there’s this huge surge of energy and I almost feel like I’m getting stronger. If that’s the case then it might be safer to test it out here rather than in a town or city where people will be in the way all the time.

I know I keep saying I feel like I’m getting stronger but it’s the only way I can really explain it. It’s just…I dunno…like there’s a fire in all my muscles, like, you know how you get that pumped feeling when you’ve worked out? It’s like that, but it’s all the time. As far as I know I haven’t gotten any stronger, I mean…let’s have a look round here…ah okay, hold on a sec, there’s a nice big boulder over there, lemme put this down and try something.

Well okay that didn’t work. I thought I might be able to move it or something but obviously not. At least all you lucky people got to watch me struggle and look like an idiot.

There’s been other things as well, like yesterday I tripped over onnannun…blah!! Yeah I tripped over my pissing words there. Dickhead. What I was trying to say was on…an…uneven path. Christ that was a mouthful, anyway, my arm whacked into the floor on that path and it didn’t hurt, and look, no bruising or anything. It might not seem like much but I definitely think there should be something there. I dunno, maybe I’m being stupid and seeing stuff that isn’t there but who knows. I just wanted to do this video as an introduction in case something weird is going on but if not then there probably won’t be any more videos, and this will get lost in the shuffle online somewhere.

Anyway, hit that like and subscribe button…I dunno why but that’s what all the other vloggers say, so yeah, do that and maybe even leave some comments.

Catch you later peeps.

Oh Christ that was lame as f…
Hey guys, welcome…oh shit guys and girls…

You know what, screw it. Like, thirty seven people watched the first video and some even down voted it so I’m just gonna stick with hey guys from now on and ignore any complaints.

Right so, welcome to the video. I know it’s been a couple of weeks since the last one and I didn’t know if I was even going to do another, but then things started changing again. The weather’s been getting better and I don’t know if that’s been a help or not. Because it was nice though I decided to take a trip to the coast last week, and with the sun being out for a change, I decided to work on my tan, but that seems to have made my energy levels go up some more.

Almost like I’m a battery and somebody’s just put me on charge.

I actually tried looking back over weather patterns and things like that for the time when I started to feel like this and, according to NASA; there was a particularly big, X class solar flare around that time. Now these things aren’t uncommon, so they’ve happened before in my lifetime, however sometimes when that’s happened it’s affected other countries as they were facing the sun when the flare’s effects hit. This time though, it hit our side of the planet and, unlike previous times when these things have happened, I was camping up in the far north of Scotland as I was hoping to see the northern lights, so I’m thinking maybe I got a full blast of it, even though I didn’t notice. Now like I said, these things have happened before but I was living in…well let’s just say much further south and maybe living in a house or being in school shielded me from that sort of stuff, or maybe I was too young to be affected, or maybe it’s always affected me and I’ve never known, or maybe it’s a massive coincidence. I dunno, I could just be clutching at straws here but it’s a theory anyway.

So like I said before I went to the beach and now I’ve found myself a new forest to record in as I’m pretty far away from the last one. And before you ask I’m not in The New Forest, as in the national park, I’m just in a new forest to me, does that make sense? Okay, I’m gonna stop there before I confuse everyone. So what’s new with me then? Well I think I might be getting a little stronger, like, you remember last time there was that boulder I couldn’t move before, right? I found one here that’s a similar size and tried I moving it earlier, and this time it actually did move. Now I’m not going to get too excited about it as maybe it wasn’t embedded in the ground as much as the first one or maybe it was a different type of stone, but it’s something to think about. It’s not like I moved it a lot anyway, it just kinda wobbled a bit.

Something else I’ve noticed recently is my memory seems to be getting better. I mean, I’ve always had a pretty good memory for facts and things like that, but lately I’ve found myself being able to recall things I’ve seen, even just briefly, in perfect detail. Like there was a sign outside the forest telling people about all the rules and random information about who’s responsible for the land, and I can picture it perfectly. It’s kinda like my brain is recording everything I’m experiencing and I can rewind and pause it to see what I missed, or get the information I need from that memory. There’s no way I can demonstrate that on here though as there’s probably loads of ways you could say I was cheating, but trust me, it’s true. It’s just a pity my brain wasn’t working that well when I was back in school. Makes you wonder though, I mean, would it be cheating if you could recall everything you’d seen in a textbook or on a website, even if you didn’t actually read it? I mean, technically you’re not learning that stuff; you’re just copying and pasting what someone else has written. Damn this can mess with your head.

What else? Oh yeah, I’ve been testing out my pain threshold a bit since the last video, but again it’s really hard to do. I don’t like the idea of cutting myself or anything like that, and you kinda have this self-preservation thing that stops you from trying to purposely injure yourself, so I’ll have to see what happens if I have any accidents or clumsy moments. One of the weirdest things I’ve found is that for some reason I don’t seem to be feeling temperatures the way I used to. I mean, I can feel and see that it’s a hot day today but I don’t feel uncomfortable or sweaty at all. Tell you what, I’m gonna try something here. If I put this jacket on for the rest of the video I’ll see if I’m roasting by the end of it. There we go; and I’ll zip it up to make it extra toasty.

Oh and an update on the eating thing, I haven’t actually had anything to eat or drink for about…forty nine hours roughly. I tried doing it on the days I went to the beach but the food just smelled sooooo good over there. I didn’t actually feel hungry at the time; I just really wanted to taste some of that stuff so I caved in. I’ve been pretty disciplined since then, and for the last two days I’ve had nothing to eat and, frankly I don’t feel hungry at all. Maybe I don’t need to eat anymore. That could seriously save me some money but I think I’d still want to out of habit and for the taste. Which brings me to the other thing. I haven’t had to…you know…go lately, if you know what I mean. It’s like my body doesn’t have any waste to produce anymore. I thought I might be constipated at first but I’m not in any pain or discomfort so why worry? All other fluids seem to be working okay, like I can still spit and…spurt…if you know what I mean.

And on top of all that, I don’t really get tired either. Like a last week I had a plan of where I wanted to go but it was pretty far away, so I tried to work out how to do it best. I thought about trying to get a lift off someone but hitchhiking really isn’t a thing anymore, and I didn’t really want to spend too much on buses or trains so I thought, I’m not in any rush to get there so why not just walk as much as I could and camp out at night when I got too tired? Only thing is, I didn’t get tired; at all. I was quite happy walking for miles at a time without aching and without eating as well; it just felt like my energy levels never went down. I also tried going as long as possible without sleep and I managed about forty two hours in total. I didn’t really feel tired after that but I thought I really should as it’s probably not healthy to go without for so long. Turns out I was right. When I woke up I actually felt refreshed and like my thoughts were more in order, so I’m aiming to have a couple of hours sleep every night just to feel normal again more than anything.

Besides all that not a lot has changed since the first video. I’m still living like a bit of a nomad, travelling from place to place, seeing more of the country rather than being tied down. That was always my plan though after college, to use the money I’d saved to go travelling around for a year and then see what happened after that. I didn’t really intend to become a vlogger or anything but I suppose if you’ve got something to say then you might as well say it, even if no-one’s listening. And for anyone who’s wondering how I’m uploading videos from the middle of nowhere, well, I’m not. I might be filming in some random forest but there’s usually a town nearby with free Wi-Fi. It might just be that the videos get uploaded a day or so after I’ve filmed them.

So anyway, I’m gonna leave the video there and as always, hit that like button and subscribe, and feel free to send any questions in the comments and I’ll see if I can answer them.

Later guys.

Hey guys, welcome back to the middle of nowhere.

What d’you think of this old, abandoned house I found? Okay now there’s a reason I’m in here at the moment, besides the fact that it’s kinda cool and creepy; oh and speaking of cool, there was a question in the comments on that last video I posted about how I felt keeping that jacket on when it was so warm. Well okay, it wasn’t so much a question; it actually said “you forgot to tell us if you were sweating, dickhead.” So yeah, it’s nice to see someone’s actually been paying attention to the video and not just clicking it and backing out. And you may have noticed I’ve even got a few subscribers now so that’s nice.

Anyway, I actually forgot I was wearing the coat until about two hours after I finished that video. I was walking back through the forest to the nearest town to upload it when I saw a couple out for a walk wearing just T shirts and shorts. They obviously spotted me as well because I overheard one of them say I must be boiling and I suddenly realised I still had it on. The curious thing about that though was that the guy was quite a way away from me when he said it, but I heard it like he was right next to me. I know it’s only been just over a week since the last video but I’m still noticing all these changes going on.

Which brings us nicely onto this place. Okay, so like I said, the house kinda has a creepy vibe, even though it’s daytime, but it’s got a huge cellar which is pitch black, even now. I’m gonna take you down to check it out so if you’re scared of the dark then, well, there’s not really a lot I can do about that.

I’m not too sure how well you can see this as there’s a bit of light from the entrance behind me but that’s about it. I mean, I’m looking at this little screen on the camera, seeing what you’re seeing, and all it shows is darkness, even when I put the little light on. Now the weird thing is I can see perfectly in here. Like, literally I can see everything like it’s daylight, and that’s not all. Everything else I can see has been much more vibrant lately and it’s like, I can see a lot of the other wavelengths of the light spectrum, even the radio waves. Do you know what I mean?

Like, if I bring you all outside I can actually see the radio waves coming from a big transmitter over there somewhere, even though I can’t see the tower itself. Some of the waves are still pretty faint at the moment but every day it seems like they’re gradually getting clearer. Even my sense of smell and taste have gotten stronger lately, which is pretty annoying as not only can I can smell delicious foods from miles away now, I can also smell all the animal shit in these woods pretty readily. It’s a good thing we don’t have bears in this country otherwise I’d definitely be telling you they shit in the woods cos I can smell it.

It’s not all bad though, I mean, I can actually tune stuff out, so it’s not like I’m constantly seeing all these light waves or smelling every nasty little thing. I can at least control it enough to only deal with what I want to at the time. The other thing I found out about my vision is that I can focus that a little more and see smaller things in more detail or see distant things a little closer, almost like the lenses in my eyes are working like a telescope or microscope. I’ve been testing it out as much as I can and I’m getting better at seeing what I want to. Like I said before though, things seem to be changing and improving all the time so with a bit more practice things should become easier.

Same with my hearing; like I said earlier about hearing that conversation, it seems like my hearing is getting better, so I’m having to tune out a lot of sound otherwise it’ll be overwhelming and I’ll start shouting at you like I’m trying to talk over the noise. If I focus enough though I can actually listen out for certain things like people talking in the distance, or I can listen out for specific birds or animals moving around. It’s a bit difficult to work out where the sounds are coming from specifically or how far away they are, but I’m getting better at figuring it out.

Let’s see, what else is there? Oh yeah, I’m definitely getting stronger and check this out…I got abs!!! Okay, I know you haven’t seen my body before but trust me; they weren’t there when I made the last video. And before you say it, I know it’s not exactly some chiselled six pack but I can definitely feel them there, even if you can’t see it too well on here. But again, I’m definitely feeling stronger. Hang on, lemme put this down again and try lifting that tree trunk over there, it looks…

 

…you see that? Sorry for swearing but that was kinda cool. I’ll have to go somewhere with some heavier stuff around next time or maybe trying something different like…hang on a sec…okay, here’s a nice sized rock, it’s kinda like a little brick. Right let’s see if I can crush it…hmmm…okay, so maybe not that strong. That would’ve been pretty cool to crush with my bare hands but I guess I’m not quite at that level yet. It kinda makes you wonder though y’know; I mean…why is this all happening? And why to me? I’m no one special, as far as I know anyway. I keep thinking about an old TV series I remember watching a few years back called Smallville. If you never saw it, basically it was about Clark Kent growing up into Superman and his powers developed gradually so maybe that’s what’s happening to me.

Oh my god…Is that it? Am I actually getting super powers? This doesn’t make sense though, people aren’t like Superman, I mean, he’s an alien for God’s sake, and more than that he’s not real, so how fu…how the hell is this happening to me? Sorry guys, I know I’m rambling again but the thing is…I don’t know anything about my past besides…actually I don’t really wanna go into that on here, I mean if this is really happening then you never know who’s going to be watching this. Oh shit!! What happens if weird men in black suits start coming after me? Is that even a thing over here?

Okay, I’m gonna end the video there. I need to get my head round all of this. Remember to like, comment and subscribe and hopefully I’ll be back soon.

Later guys.

H-Hey guys. I ju-I just got mugged.

Sorry if I seem a little jittery but my heart’s still racing. That was…like…the scariest thing that’s happened to me in a long time and the guy…oh god…I can still hear him. I’m…I’m gonna have to do this later guys…I can’t deal with this right now.

 

Hey guys, sorry about that first part. I was gonna delete and just start off here but I thought no, I really wanna make these authentic so even if bad stuff happens I’m gonna try to document it.

Okay so here’s the deal. I dunno whether you noticed I was holding a knife in that last part but I’ll show you that in a minute, and you’re probably wondering why I was in a big field with all my clothes trashed rather than this hotel room, so here’s what happened.

I watched the last video back and noticed that when I went to pick up that log you couldn’t hear what I was saying because I was too far away from the camera. So I decided to go to one of the bigger towns nearby to see if I could use the internet somewhere to shop around for a better camera. Now I’ve never been here before so I don’t know where the rough parts or the nice parts of town are, and I certainly don’t know my way around it enough to be able to find anywhere easily. Oh, and I figured I’d treat myself as well since I haven’t been sleeping much lately, so I got myself this hotel room to have a decent bed instead of camping, and then I could use their Wi-Fi as well.

Anyway, I managed to find a pretty decent camera that wasn’t too expensive, and a Bluetooth mic that can work with it, so I’d be able to stand a little further away to show you things. The best part about it was I was able to find it in a place where I could collect it from a big, national chain shop in town rather than having to get it delivered somewhere. Again I’m not gonna say which shop or which town in case anyone wants to check the security footage to track my movements or anything like that. I know I’m sounding paranoid but if it turns out I’m an alien or something like that I really don’t want to be taken to a lab somewhere and get dissected.

So yeah, after I’d found out if the shop had it in stock I went to find the place. Now since I said my hearing’s been getting better I’ve been wearing earphones more so I can play music to drown out the noise around me. That probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do as I ended up stopping next to this alleyway to check my phone for directions when this guy came towards me and pulled out a knife. Hang on a sec…here we go…so yeah, he pulled out this knife and I was freaked out so I, stupidly, started backing off into the alley and trying to reason with him. Next thing I know he’s lunging for my phone so I tried to turn away and as I did he slashed me with the knife.

Now I’m okay so don’t worry about anything cos it kinda hit my stomach and just grazed along it without doing any damage, apart from putting a big gash in my shirt. For some stupid reason though my first instinct was to reach for the knife, which ended up with me grabbing the blade and twisting it, but as I did I heard this horrible cracking noise and – urgh it’s making me sick thinking about it – it was like a stick snapping and then he’s screaming out in pain while I’m still holding this knife. When I looked down at his wrist it was pointing a way it really shouldn’t and then, somehow, I could see his bones beneath the skin. It was gross.

That’s when I just took off. I just wanted to get out of there so I just ran until eventually I ended up in that field. I only had my phone with me so that’s why the last part of the video was a bit shaky and weird but I’m gonna edit that onto here anyway rather than scrapping it or uploading them separately. The weird thing about it was I shot that video about two minutes after it all happened but when I checked my position on my phone I was about twenty miles out of town, like, with no idea how I got there so fast. So I managed to walk back to the hotel, and trust me I got some seriously strange looks from people because of the state of my clothes – but we’ll get to that in a minute – luckily I dropped the knife in the field. I mean, could you imagine how it would look if they saw some dazed guy with a knife walking into town? I’d have had the police all over me.

Speaking of which, look at this thing? I mean who the hell needs a knife like this besides Rambo? It’s insanely sharp too and look at these nasty little, jagged teeth on it. This thing’s only made for one purpose and it’s definitely not cooking, at least not in a regular kitchen. And if you’re wondering how I’ve got it now then it’s because that whole thing happened about two days ago, so I’ve been able to get my new camera stuff and go back to the field to retrieve it. I dunno what I’m gonna do with it yet as I don’t have a sheath for it and I can’t just wander around with it in my hand or my pocket. I could throw it in a bin or something but I don’t really want someone hurting themselves with it. Oh well, I’ll figure something out.

And check this out. You can see here there’s no marks on my hand where I grabbed the knife, and if I lift this shirt up you can see there’s no marks or scratches where it cut across, it’s almost like he missed, but I definitely felt it touch me. Oh yeah, and you can see there’s definitely abs there now aren’t there? Hold on, lemme get this off. Okay, so like I said, definite abs there. And not only that but all the other muscles seem to be filling out a little more as well. I mean, it’s nothing amazing but there’s a little more definition coming in and considering I haven’t been eating much or doing any proper exercise, something’s undeniably working on them.

Anyway…sorry, I keep going off on random tangents. So yeah, getting to the field. I ended up running from the alleyway to that field and it seemed like I’d been running for ages, but like I said it had only been a couple of minutes from when I’d started running until I got there, but for me it seemed like a lot longer. I’ve played the memory back in my mind and it’s weird to see how everything around me was moving in slow motion. I don’t even think anyone even saw me as I was going that fast. Hang on; let me see if I can work out the speed on my phone…Holy shit!! Look at that!! 1,200 miles per hour!! That’s like, nearly twice the speed of sound!! Well okay, not quite, but it’s still a lot faster than I’ve ever been on a treadmill.

You could probably see on the first part of the video that it shredded my clothes, I mean look at the state of these. The funny thing is, you can see here on the T shirt the big gash where that asshole slashed me with the knife, but there’s no damage up here near the chest, nor on the trousers around my thighs; it’s only the areas where the material was away from my body that took the brunt of the damage. That’s something I’m gonna have to check out later on, but I think I’ll have to do that somewhere a bit more remote.

The other thing I mentioned from that day was seeing that guy’s bones in his hand. Remember how I said that I could see radio waves last time? Well it seems like I can now see any part of the light spectrum, even the ones invisible to the human eyes. I’m not sure how it works exactly but I’ve noticed that I’ve got much more control over what I can see and when. Like last time I said I can focus on things smaller or further away but I’ve been practicing a little and I’ve been able to see things like they were under an ultraviolet light which, trust me, you don’t want to use in a hotel room. The same with seeing in the dark, that’s kinda like seeing in infrared, but if I change the focus slightly then everything is in colour, rather than being black and white like on infrared cameras. I can also see in a thermal imaging way as well, so I can actually see like that Predator guy from the films. I’m not going to practice too much while I’m here though as I’ve been reading up on some Superman facts and there’s a lot of discrepancy about how his heat vision works so I don’t really want that to accidentally kick in here and burn the place down.

I’m still a little freaked out by all this though, I mean, am I actually becoming Superman? So far everything is kinda looking that way but do I want this? I guess I don’t really have a lot of choice so I might as well just see what happens. I’m gonna try and do another video this week trying out a few more of these powers, if that’s what we’re calling them. Feel free to leave any questions or comments below and I’ll, hopefully, be able to answer them.

See ya later guys.

Welcome back guys and welcome to The Peak District.

Okay, so I know I said I wasn’t going to say where I was in these videos but I’ll be long gone from here by the time I upload this so it doesn’t really matter. Not only that but this place is huge so unless you recognise landmarks you won’t know where I’ve been anyway. You might also notice a few cuts in this video as well. Not because I’m doing any camera trickery or anything like that, it’s simply because I want to do a couple of location changes okay? So we’re gonna start off in this nice rocky area that the climbers sometimes use and then probably go and find somewhere with a few more trees.

Now then, the last video seems to have sparked some interest as it got a lot more views and then the viewer count on the older videos went up as well. Last time I checked I had just over two hundred subscribers so that’s pretty good. I know I’ve said I’ll answer some questions from time to time but I think I might do a full on Q & A video if I get to…say…a thousand subscribers. So I think what would be best would be for you guys to leave questions in the comments for this video and I’ll try to go through them if and when we get to a grand, deal?

So you’re probably all wondering what’s been happening since last week’s video. Well first of all I’ve obviously been trekking to get here but I’ve also been trying to master some of these new powers. Gah, it still feels weird to call them that but anyway, it is what it is. I’m pretty sure this is all working the same as it does for Superman too, I mean, I’m pretty sure my body’s absorbing the sun’s rays and making all this possible. Not that I’m complaining. Most people worry about skin cancer when they get too much sun whereas I just seem to be getting bigger and stronger.

I actually got myself a free pass to a local gym after last week’s video too, so I was able to check myself out while I was there. Now I know I said I’ve been getting stronger recently so I just wanted to see how much I can actually lift. I thought it’d be best to use the machine weights because, well I don’t know what someone my size should really be lifting and if I had a bar full of massive weights, cranking out a load of reps with ease then it might spark a bit of interest. So like I said, I tried a couple of the machines out and it turns out I could lift the full stack of weights on all of them with ease. I was even able to lift them all one handed. Obviously I made sure no one was watching me do that, but yeah, I’d say I’m pretty strong now.

It was pretty funny watching all these big guys around the gym, grunting and sweating with, what looked to be huge amounts of weight, and I’m just there casually lifting a whole stack of weights with no effort at all. I was tempted to offer to spot one of them and maybe see if I could lift the weight they were using with one hand, but I kinda chickened out.

The problem I’ve got now is I don’t know how strong I am, I mean, check this out. Remember that boulder from a few weeks ago? Well I think this one’s about the same size but now…see that? I can lift it up pretty easily; it’s just a little awkward because of the shape and size. But there’s something else as well. Okay, so if I get you in a little closer…see that? You can see where my fingers were digging in to get a better grip on it. But the question now is how do I find out how much this thing weighs? I’m assuming someone could estimate it if they knew the dimensions and composition, either that or maybe if they wanted to try and haul it off to a weigh bridge I guess that could work. But yeah, there you go. I took a few pictures of my body when I was in the gym as well so I’ll try to add them at the end of the video.

I’m not like really buff or anything, and I actually saw some big guy in the changing room sneering a little as I was posing in the mirror but who cares. I probably should’ve challenged him to a benching contest or arm wrestling or something but I’m still trying to stay a bit low key. Anyway, you’ll see in the pics that I’ve got a little more definition coming in and a little more size being added. It’s weird that I’m not growing in relation to the strength gains though, but then again if you look at Superman, I mean, he’s one of the strongest guys in comics but he’s not huge like the Hulk is he? And how big should I be with the strength I’ve got now anyway?

I’ve been doing a few experiments with this speed thing as well and it’s really weird. I don’t just mean the running really fast thing but actually doing anything really fast. I dunno if you’ve seen any films where people have super speed, like in the X-Men films or The Flash but they sometimes show things seeming to slow down while the guy moves at a normal speed and that’s kinda what happens. They don’t always get it right though cos some stuff you really can’t do quickly. Like I can’t juggle at super speed because I can’t speed up gravity, I mean, I can’t juggle anyway but that’s not the point. Here, I’ll demonstrate.

So if I take this little rock and throw it in the air it still moves at the same speed and lands in my hand the same as it would for you. The only difference is you couldn’t change your T shirt while it was still up in the air like I just did. Come on, admit it, that was kinda cool wasn’t it? It’s the same with when you see The Flash cleaning up at super speed, he could run around with the vacuum as quick as he can but it’s not going to suck the dust up any quicker. Speaking of The Flash, I was trying to find out why he didn’t shred his costume when he runs and apparently it’s down to the speed force, if that even exists. But I checked out Superman as well and I saw something that mentioned he had some kind of aura around his body that protected the clothes that were close to his skin so I’m gonna see if I can get some tighter clothes this week to try it out. I think I’m on the right track though because the bits of clothing that were pressed against my skin didn’t shred last time so that could be why.

Somebody made a suggestion about wearing a speedo or a singlet when I’m making these videos but that might be a bit weird. I dunno about where you’re from but in this country we don’t tend to walk round the countryside in a pair of budgie smugglers so they’re definitely out of the question, and we don’t have wrestling in schools here either, so if I wore a singlet I’d just have people ripping the piss out of me for looking like Mr Motivator. If you don’t know who that is then feel free to look him up if you want a good laugh.

Okay, it sounds like there’s some people coming so I’m gonna stop the video here and pick it up later.

 

Hey guys, welcome back. So you’re probably wondering why my clothes are all shredded and I’m covered in mud, well the short answer is because I’m an idiot. I’ve been trying to figure out how to show you my super speed running on here but I wanted to test it out again first. So I put my previously shredded clothes on again, cos I didn’t want to ruin any others, and tried going for a run around that field over there. Now everything was going fine until I tried upping the speed and then this happened. Look at the state of these shoes now. They literally started falling apart which caused me to trip over leaving a huge rut in the ground. Look at it. I mean I pretty much carved a ditch with my face so I’m kinda glad I didn’t film that. So yeah, now I’ve got to get some new shoes as well as the tighter clothes.

Anyway come on; let’s go into this little wood here to go over some other stuff. So as you could see from the…hang on, lemme get cleaned up again. There we go. This super speed thing really does have its uses. Anyway, like I was saying, as you could see from my attempt at burrowing back there, I seem to be getting tougher as well as stronger. Let’s try a little experiment okay? So I’ve still got that nasty looking knife here and look, just to prove it’s solid and not a fake I’ll try…uh…ah okay, it should stick into this tree trunk. Oh Jesus! Okay I wasn’t expecting it to go in that far, all right let’s get it back out…OH SHIT SHIT SHIT!!! Oh Jesus I nearly pulled the whole thing down on top of me. Okay, someone definitely needs to find out how much strength that would take. These trees are pretty well rooted into the ground so it shouldn’t have moved that easily.

Right, so anyone still not convinced this knife is real? Good, okay. So look, if I try running this along my hand…see, not a scratch. And it is sharp before anyone says anything, look…see it cut that little stalk with easy so yeah, it’s sharp. Okay, so I’m tempted to try and stab myself with it now but…I dunno, what if I’m wrong? Urgh…I’m just gonna have to do it. Okay let’s do a crazy version of five finger fillet on this tree stump. Okay, here goes…

Nope. I can’t do it, it still makes me feel like it’s gonna hurt. Okay, come on, you can do this. You’ve already head-butted the floor today so you can do this…okay…one…two…three!!

HOLY CRAP!!! Look at that!! The fu…frickin’ blade just snapped!! And look, there’s not a mark on my hand at all. I barely even felt it hit and I know I put a lot of force behind it. I guess I should also say don’t try this at home…or in the woods, but yeah, don’t go stabbing yourselves with knives…or anyone else for that matter.

Speaking of trying out this toughness thing. Someone put a suggestion on the last video to say I should try jumping but I’m not sure what they meant by that. I dunno whether they want me to jump off something, over something or just see how high I can jump. I mean; I could maybe go back to that cliff from the start of this video and try jumping off there, but I really don’t like the idea of breaking my legs or face planting at the bottom. Maybe I’ll try jumping up the cliff to see if that works. I reckon I could maybe make my own hand hold in the rock if I can’t jump high enough to get to the top, but knowing me I’ll probably just end up slamming face first into the cliff face. I think if I try that it’ll definitely be off camera.

Anyway, that’s enough fun for now. Don’t forget to leave any questions or comments below, and maybe if you want to see me do something you could ask as well. I can’t guarantee I’ll do it but it’ll be fun to see what you guys come up with.

I’ll see if I can think of anything to try between now and the next video and let you know how it goes. See ya later guys.

How’s it going guys, welcome back to the Peak District.

Now some of you may be wondering why I’m here again, well, it’s because I discovered something new after the last video. Speaking of which, as of recording this I’ve now got just over six hundred subscribers so we’re over halfway to the Q & A video so keep those questions coming in. I haven’t looked at any of the questions from the last video yet because I want them to be nice and fresh when I do the Q & A episode, rather than memorising them all and thinking up answers way in advance. I want it to be more spontaneous.

So what did I discover then? Well there’s loads of caves under this whole area and before you tell me I could’ve found that out just by searching online, I just want you to know that I’m aware of that and I have been looking them all up. However, what I discovered is that my vision powers are getting stronger so now I can actually see through a lot of this rock and actually see where the caves are. I kinda suspected it when I saw the bones in that guy’s wrist a few weeks back but now I’ve actually figured out how to use it properly. So tremble in fear mortals cos your privacy is a thing of the past MUAHAHAHA!!!

Nah, I’m kidding. I know I can hear a lot more as well as being able to pinpoint where the sounds are coming from now, but I’m also getting a lot better at tuning it all out, so most of the time my senses are pretty normal. I’ve been trying out different ways to see things too and I’ve figured out how to focus my eyes so I can see through things, but also see over longer distances as well. So if I look over there I can actually see through all these trees to some deer that are grazing over in the distance. Obviously I can’t show you that with the camera as all I’d end up doing is zooming in on a tree trunk so that won’t work. It’s a little trickier to see through some of the denser rocks around here so I’m still trying to figure out how to focus my eyes to get through those, but I’ll keep trying it out and it’ll get easier I’m sure.

There was an interesting thing I did find with this vision thing though. Remember how I said Superman had some sort of aura over his body? Well I can actually see it on my own body as well now. It’s invisible to the naked eye but since I can see a lot more wavelengths, I can actually see it for myself. I was hoping it might show up on this camera’s night vision mode but unfortunately it doesn’t, so I guess you’ll have to take my word for it again.

I’ve been experimenting with this aura a little bit since the last video and it’s kinda cool. Now we obviously know that it seems to stop all the friction problems when I’m moving fast, but I also found out it works well on impacts as well, which might explain why that knife broke before. Okay, now watch this. I’m gonna bring the camera in close to focus on the back of my hand here, now watch as I slowly press this stone onto the skin there. See how it reaches right down to the skin without any resistance. Okay, now watch this. I’m going to try and do this in slow motion as well so don’t complain about a bit of editing this time around. So if I drop this stone onto my hand this time…see that? It’s like it hit some invisible shield about half a centimetre away. So that got me wondering about this sort of…invulnerability I’ve got, if you want to call it that, and if it’s me that’s invulnerable or if it’s the aura doing all the work.

So check this out now. I’ve still got that broken knife and it’s still as sharp as ever, so if I gently put it against my skin and start to cut it, you can see that it’s still not doing any damage. Even if I press really hard onto the skin you can see that it’s obviously getting through that aura but it’s not piercing the skin at all; so obviously my skin’s pretty tough. I’m gonna try a couple of other experiments during this video so keep watching.

Okay now, ladies get ready to swoon because the shirt’s coming off. Right, so I’ve been shopping this week to get some of these compression type clothes. I got myself a couple of these tight tops and some leggings, just in case I manage to ruin any of them. One thing I did notice when I was shopping for them was that I had to get bigger sizes than I was used to. I mean, I always used to buy pretty small clothes but now I’ve gone up to medium and there’s a possibility these won’t even fit in a few weeks.

You can see yourself that I’m beefing up more, like check this out. I’ve never been able to bounce my pecs before, hell I’ve never even had pecs before so that’s all new. And look at this, there’s a pretty solid bicep there too. I mean it’s not like bodybuilder sized or anything like that but it’s definitely bigger than anything I’ve had before, same with the forearms. And check out the abs now. Speaking of bodybuilders; I can do that thing they do where they pull the skin and it looks really thin, like you can see my puppy fat seems to be disappearing pretty rapidly and the muscles are popping out a lot more than they ever were before. I’m gonna have to look up what all these different muscles are called so I can point them all out.

Anyway, you can put your tongues away and stop drooling now. I’m already wearing some tight leggings so if I put this top on…you can see that it’s all nice and snug. There you go, just call me Under Armor Man, the scourge of loose clothing everywhere!! Hey there’s a thought, maybe I can get them to sponsor me with some free clothes, that’d make life easier. Oh yeah, and not to be too crass or anything but yeah, that’s all real down there. It’s not just the muscles that have grown a bit. Ready for me to try out a bit of super speed running? I’m gonna do it barefoot though as I don’t want to ruin any more shoes. Hopefully I won’t step on anything too bad out there, it’s not like there’s going to be any Lego bricks in the middle of a field, right? Okay, here goes.

 

Not bad. It looks like everything’s survived okay so as long as I wear this stuff I can move at super speed everywhere. Okay, let’s try something here. I’m just gonna grab this and…back in a sec.

Awesome. Okay, so I bought this cheap backpack the other day as I didn’t want to ruin the one I’m already using. Now check this out. I kept the straps nice and tight on my shoulders so there’s been no damage done to that area, and the straps lower down seem to be good as well. I think the main part of the bag is protected as it’s on my back, so the friction is all on my front side which isn’t affecting anything behind me. That’s gonna make life easier running around the country. It makes me wonder though, if I’m going to be hitting these sorts of speeds then should I be using the motorways or just run any way I want to? Meh, I’ll figure it out.

I’ve just had an idea for something else to try. Okay so we know that I’m not getting too bothered by changes in temperature, and friction and impact don’t seem to get through this aura, but let’s try something else. Okay, so if I put this ragged T shirt on over this compression top then it should get destroyed and the compression one should be fine.

Hold on where’s my lighter? Ah, here we go. Okay so I’m gonna try and burn this shirt off and hopefully everything else will be okay. Now do I really have to tell you not to try this at home? Okay, here goes.

URGH!! Oh shit!!

OH JESUS!!!

UURGGHHUUUGGHH!!!

ARGH!!

GET IT OFF!!! GET IT OFF!!!

Oh Jesus that was scary. Okay, I definitely don’t recommend setting fire to yourself, that’s freaky as fu…well yeah, don’t do it. Anyway…everything looks okay. I mean that shirt’s completely gone now but this compression top’s fine. And there’s no burns on my hands or face where the flames were touching me so that pretty good. I was worried I’d lose my eyebrows or some nasal hair but it’s all good. And yeah okay, I get that I panicked a bit but it’s still weird to think I can’t be hurt any more. I mean, I remember burning myself in the past and that was just on a hot pan so being on fire is kinda freaky.

Anyway, that’s enough experimenting for one day, remember to leave any questions in the comments section and hopefully we’ll be over a thousand subscribers next time.

Laters.

Hey guys, how’s it going?

You’re probably wondering why I’m in a tent and why you can probably hear a lot of birds squawking around me. Well the first reason is because it’s just dense fog outside so you wouldn’t be able to see a thing anyway, and the second reason is because I’m on one of the uninhabited islands off the coast of Scotland. So there’s literally just me, some sheep and a load of birds here, including puffins which are well cute. So why am I on an uninhabited island? Well I guess you’ve probably noticed that my subscribers are up to nearly half a million now and still climbing. So I’m assuming that all you newbies are here because of me hitting the news last week, am I right?

I guess I should’ve known someone would notice my videos before long but I’d kinda hoped they’d just dismiss me as a hoax. Instead there are headlines about ex-girlfriends saying I broke their hearts, even though they don’t know my real name, reports about the army closing off areas in the Peak District where they think I’ve been, and idiots claiming to be the mugger that attacked me. Then on top of all that you’ve got the ridiculous headlines in the National Enquirer about where my spaceship landed, and a load of conspiracy nuts thinking I’m the first wave of an alien invasion. And do you know what the worst part is? I mean the absolute worst part? They’re calling me the superhero in training. That’s right, S.H.I.T. So before I even know what I’m doing with all this I’m being called the shit.

Right now I’m tempted to just shut down this channel and maybe live here for as long as possible. It sounds lonely as hell though but seriously, I’m pretty much destined to be alone now aren’t I? I know I’m gonna have to go back to the mainland soon otherwise you won’t be able to see this. I mean, it’s not like I can run a hundred mile Ethernet cable over to here and I’d need a generator too, otherwise the batteries are all going to die on these things before too long. I just don’t know what to do now, I mean, I’m hoping I can remain pretty anonymous but I’m bound to bump into someone that recognises me at some point. At least I can get away from them pretty quickly though.

That reminds me; I never told you how I got here. Turns out all the cartoons and comics are right. If you get enough speed up you can run across the water. It’s a bit tricky at first, especially if you want to change direction or turn around but once you’re on your way it’s easy. I tried it out the first time on a lake about a week ago just to see if it’d work, but that’s slightly different to running on the sea; out here you have to navigate the waves and rocks as well. The other thing I tried out was if I can get enough speed up to defy gravity and the answer is yes, but it’s harder than you think. I managed to run up a sheer cliff face after a few attempts but it’s weird because you have to lean back quite a lot when your instinct is to lean forward. It was pretty fun to do though once I got the hang of it, kinda like an insane version of the warped wall on Ninja Warrior.

Anyway, I guess now that I’ve gone over a thousand subscribers I should really do the Q & A thing. I think I might do a couple of these though as I think some of the questions might need a bit more thought, so what I’ll do is answer some easier ones today and maybe do the more thoughtful ones in a couple of days okay? Oh…crap…I’ve just realised I’ve got no internet access here. Okay, new plan. I’m gonna cut the video here, run over to the mainland and start again when I’ve got some signal.

 

Right, I’m back. God, it really is fun to run on water. I know I was a bit down before but these powers really are cool, and I guess I should feel lucky to have them rather than moping around. So anyway, big smiles and let’s get on with this. Okay, now the signal isn’t that great out here but it should be good enough to look through these questions. I didn’t really want to go into one of the towns to use their Wi-Fi in case I get recognised so I’ll just stay up on this cliff looking out over the sea. At least it’s not foggy over here. Right…questions…let’s do this.

Okay, first one’s pretty easy, “have you ever thought about trying to fly?” Kind of, I guess, but the problem is I don’t know if I even can or how to even try to fly. I mean, do I will myself up into the air? Jump and hope I don’t come back down? I dunno, I’m hoping it’s something I just haven’t got yet but I honestly don’t know if I will ever be able to. I tried that jumping thing the other week and I was right about being able to jump up onto that cliff. I reckon I could’ve jumped higher but as I said before, I’m kinda scared that the landing might be a bit rough. I’d probably be okay, but it wasn’t great fun to face plant when I was running at super speed, so I can’t imagine what it would be like from a high altitude. Maybe I’ll pluck up the courage to do it before the next video, but I think people seeing me bouncing around the countryside is going to have a major impact on my anonymity so maybe not. Anyway, next one.

“How long will you live for?” I have no idea, how long will you live for?

“How can I get some of those powers?” Haha good question. If I ever figure out how I got them I’ll let you know. It could be nice to have someone else who can do all this with me. Next one…hmmm…okay we’ll leave that for next time.

Let’s see what else…ah okay, “if you could choose what powers you could get, what would they be?” flying!!! I know I’ve said it before but I definitely think that would be the most awesome power to have by far. From a practical standpoint though, telekinesis would be pretty useful. I mean, how cool would it be to have the camera floating around me rather than having to hold it or set it down somewhere. I’ve been using this nifty little Gorilla Pod thing which can wrap around tree branches or be set up on almost anything, but it’s still a bit of a pain to frame everything right.

Okay, next question. “Why are you such a pussy?” Hahaha, oh gee, thanks. I’m assuming you’re talking about the experiments I’ve been doing that could be harmful so okay, let’s go over a few things here. Up until very recently I’ve been the same as you guys you know, I’ve always tried to avoid hurting myself; sometimes successfully and sometimes not. So to do some of the stuff that I’ve been doing lately like setting myself on fire or stabbing myself with a badass knife takes a lot of willpower because it’s something that I know, or I guess I should say I knew, would hurt. I know I keep coming back to this but it’s possible I could jump off this cliff and land safely, but at the back of my mind there’s always the thought that it could kill me.

It’s like with that mugger. I guarantee even the biggest, toughest guys out there would be shocked and a little scared if some guy suddenly came at them with a weapon, even if you knew you could kick their ass easily. Like if you were a black belt in some martial art, there would still be that shock and adrenaline rush if you were attacked by someone. For me though, I’ve never been tougher than anybody and obviously when I saw him with the knife, my initial thought was, I don’t want to get stabbed. I was lucky his knife didn’t do any damage to me or I’d be dead in an alleyway somewhere instead of being here. Even when I got away from him I was still panicking because my brain was still telling me I could’ve been killed.

The other thing I guess you could also be talking about is me not coping too well with this in some of the earlier videos, and again, you’d be right. This is a huge, life changing thing that’s happening and it’s not like I can really talk to anyone about it. Obviously I put videos out there telling you guys what’s happening but sometimes I’d just really like to talk to someone about it. The problem is that this is a scary thing, I mean, how would you feel if a friend or loved one suddenly came up to you and told you they could run the length of the country in minutes, or they could lift your car up, one handed, without breaking a sweat. And yes, I have tried both of those things. This hasn’t been easy for me so you’ll have to forgive me if I freak myself out from time to time, while you’re sitting there watching me try to figure this out.

Anyway, that was probably a bit dark but what the hell, back to the questions. “Are you allergic to Kryptonite and if so where can I get some.” Hahaha…I honestly don’t know. I don’t even know if it exists outside the comics, but if you manage to find some then stay the hell away from me.

Hmmm…okay, this one’s intriguing. Some guy – or girl I guess – asked a couple of questions here. The first one I’m gonna save for next time but here’s the second one. Bear with me here cos it’s a bit of a long question but here goes…

“You said you’re in the UK. Aren’t you worried that someone may use facial recognition tech to identify you? I mean, your vids haven’t blown up yet, but if they do (and you’re not just some CGI wizard), someone will try figuring out who you are, and CCTV has been everywhere for years.”

Okay, first of all I’m no CGI wizard, I’ve never been great with technology and I hope that you’ve seen that a lot of this stuff is off the cuff and not planned, like setting myself on fire last time. And like I said at the start of this video, I’m starting to make it into the news now so if it is all a hoax then you can bet they’ll expose me soon, but that’s not gonna happen cos, y’know, it’s real. As for the facial recognition and CCTV thing, I’m not too worried about the CCTV as most places that have it aren’t linked up to any national database, so if I stay in a local guest house and they have CCTV there then it’s only going to go on their recorder for however long they keep it so I’m not too worried about that. Same with facial recognition, most towns don’t have that software on their CCTV systems so unless people knew I was in that town and when then it’d be like looking for a needle in a haystack.

I’ve also never had a passport or driving licence so even if they do have facial recognition there’s probably nothing with my picture on to compare it with…unless they find my old bus pass or something.

I’ve been kinda wondering whether I should tell you all my real name or not to be honest, I mean, I reckon you’ll probably learn it at some point soon anyway. The way the press have been snooping around is bound to dig it up so I might just leave it up to them to tell you so they can feel like they’ve got a scoop. There’s plenty of people I’ve known over the years who will probably recognise me so chances are one of them will speak out soon, which is fine, as long as they’re happy to deal with the consequences then it’s up to them. And I don’t mean I’m going to do anything to them but it could put them in harm’s way.

Speaking of people snooping around, I never told you why I specifically said I was in the Peak District before did I? Well here’s the reason. Remember that old abandoned house I took you to in the third video? Somebody who saw it clearly knew where it was and must have told the authorities, because after that video where I got mugged I ended up going back towards that house on my way to wherever I was going to film next. Now as I’ve said before I can see radio waves and hear much better and as I was getting closer I noticed there were a lot more radio waves in the air, so I stayed quite a way away and listened to what was going on.

Turns out the Ministry of Defence were taking a great deal of interest in that place and put a quarantine around it. I couldn’t see it too well at the time as I didn’t want to get too close, but there were all these guys in protective suits with all sorts of Geiger counters and stuff like that checking everything out. After that I thought I’d help them to know where I’d been because I wanted to find something out for myself. So the first video in the Peak District was in a very well-known place and I really wanted them to check it out. A couple of days after I’d uploaded the video they all showed up and quarantined that area as well. By then I’d figured out my super speed and X-ray vision more so it was easier to see what they were doing.

When I got the chance I was able to zip in, grab some of their equipment and get out again before anyone even noticed me. The reason for that is because I was curious to see if I was actually radioactive or anything like that as I don’t want to make people sick or anything. Anyway, I checked myself over with the Geiger counter and luckily I’m all clear, and even when I use my X-ray vision it doesn’t give off any radiation so there’s nothing to worry about there. It also means that I’m not leaving a trail either so that’s a bonus. I also managed to snag a thermal imaging camera too so I could see if my heat signature was different to anyone else’s.

Now I’ve looked at other people using my own thermal vision thing but I haven’t really been able to check myself out; apart from my hands and arms at least, so with their camera I was able to record myself doing a few things to see how it changed my own heat signature. Turns out I still look as normal as everyone else so it’s not like they’ll be able to pick me out in a crowd using that technology either. Don’t worry though, I put the stuff back before they even knew it was gone so technically I didn’t steal it, I just borrowed it. I also left my recording on the camera so that’ll confuse them a bit when they watch it back, hahaha.

Okay, let’s have one more question before I wrap this up…oooo, this is a good one; “how long can you hold your breath for?” Hmm…I actually have no idea…and now I’m really curious to find out. Tell you what, I’m gonna end the recording here and try it out. I don’t really want to record it cos it could make for a really dull ending to this video.

See ya next time guys and as always leave some comments, like it and all that stuff.

Laters.

Hey guys, check this out.

See that over there on the horizon? That’s the little island I was on last week and if I point you over here, you can see there’s a couple of helicopters buzzing around, not only that but there’s been a couple of navy ships sweeping the area as well. They all kinda turned up the day after my last video was posted so you can tell they’re looking for me. I don’t think they know which island I was on as they’ve been going around the whole area for a few days now. It’s funny, I kinda feel like I’m playing a game of cat and mouse with the Ministry of Defence at the moment. Hopefully I’ll manage to stay one step ahead of them as much as possible but I’m curious to know what they’ll do if they find me. I am actually tempted to run over to one of those ships and tell them which island to go to.

Anyway, welcome back to the video. This intro’s going to be pretty short as I really just wanted to show you what those guys were up to before getting into the main video. This one’s also going to be a little bit jumpy as I want to go to a couple of different locations today so with the aid of a little editing and some super speed, let’s go and have a look at this…

 

The Singing Ringing Tree. So it’s still the same day, only we’re now about four hundred miles away from where I first started the video. I never used to like running before but now that I can go further without getting tired it’s actually pretty cool. Anyway, you’re probably wondering why we’re here. Well it’s all because of this sculpture, if that’s what you want to call it. Now if you’ve never been here before you’ve missed out cos this thing is really cool. As you can see it’s just kinda made up of all these steel pipes stacked on top of each other but if you look here, see how they’ve got all these little notches cut into each pipe, and how they’re all different lengths? That’s so that when the wind blows through it you get this really, ethereal sound playing out. You can probably hear it a little but not as much as you normally would as there’s only a slight breeze today, but that’s perfect for what I want to show you.

So you remember last time someone asked me how long I could hold my breath for? Well I tested it out and the answer is, a very long time. I tried just holding it as normal but I started to get a bit bored so I decided to go for a swim in the sea. Well okay, it wasn’t so much a swim as a walk around on the sea bed but it was still pretty fun. I tried looking for some shipwrecks but I only found one. I didn’t want to get to close to it though in case there were some dead bodies in there or something. Anyway, after I came back up and let the breath out I remembered that one of Superman’s powers was super breath, so I wanted to see if that was something I’d developed. No prizes for guessing what the answer to that was considering we’re at a wind powered sculpture, so who wants a demonstration?

There you go, so that’s what it sounds like on a windy day. Haha, there’s couple over there wondering how that noise happened when there’s no wind near them hahaha. So yeah, I can blow pretty hard now as well, not sure how hard though as I don’t have anything to measure it. Wait, I’ve got an idea.

 

Okay, sorry about the little cut there. Check it out; this is the wind farm you might have been able to see in the distance from the last place. The Singing Ringing Tree is about five miles that way so I just zipped across here to try something. Okay, so I’m gonna try blowing on that turbine over there cos it’s pointing this way, here goes. HOLY SHIT!! Look at that thing go!! It didn’t feel like I was blowing that hard either, kinda like blowing on one of those little hand held windmill things. I think they’re called pinwheels or something like that. That’s gonna confuse the shit outta some people with the others not moving at all. I could try to set them all off but I’d probably end up screwing up the weather or something so yeah, better not try that.

Anyway, that’s enough messing about. I guess I should apologise to you guys if you want to come to these sites any time soon as they’ll probably be quarantined as well after this video goes out, so yeah, sorry about that. Okay, so just one more quick cut now while I get changed and then we’ll go for a walk. I don’t really wanna be walking around with this compression gear on when the weather’s so nice so I’ll just sling some shorts on. Back in a sec.

 

There we go. Okay so as you can see I’ve grown a little more. Not only that but everything’s really firming up and getting more ripped, I mean look at this. Can you believe that? I never thought I’d ever be able to describe myself as being ripped, and I definitely never thought I’d ever have a six pack let alone eight. I keep finding myself rubbing my hands over them all the time just to prove that it’s really happening, hopefully you guys don’t think that make me seem conceited but it’s just like a dream come true considering I was such a skinny kid. I’ll try to show you my shoulders and back but it’s a bit difficult without putting the camera down. They’re definitely making me look wider though, and everything’s more…I dunno…lumpy? And check out this bicep as well; I reckon if someone tried squeezing either of these they wouldn’t even dent. There’s no point in me showing you that as I’ve obviously got the strength to dent them but when I’ve tried crushing rocks in the crook of my elbow my biceps don’t dent at all. Hold on, lemme show you…see that? And it didn’t even dig into my skin at all.

The one slightly annoying thing about all this is I still have no idea how strong I am. I know that doesn’t sound like a terrible thing but I mean, you get people knowing what their max lifts are and all that sort of stuff, but I know I could lift that turbine out of the ground easily, even though I’ve never done anything like that before, I just know I could. I’ve been crushing random things I’ve found scattered around recently like metal tools, chunks of rock, tree trunks and all sorts of things, but none of them have been any sort of a challenge at all. The hardest thing is the unwieldy shape or size of some things but ultimately they don’t stand a chance against me.

The strangest thing about my strength though is being able to do regular things that I’ve always done without it causing problems. Like holding this camera up to talk to you guys for instance. I was kinda worried at first that I might accidentally crush it but it hasn’t happened. Same with opening my bag up or changing my clothes, I haven’t accidentally ripped anything yet so it’s like I kinda know exactly how much strength to use for everything. It’s fun being able to crush things though; I mean, who else has a stainless steel stress ball to play with or can balance a car on one hand like a waiter with a tray of drinks? I should be careful I guess as it might be like leaving a trail of mangled breadcrumbs in my wake, so I probably should be more discrete with what I’m doing with all these bits of scrap, but it’s just so cool to be able to do it.

Someone actually asked if I think I can become bigger or stronger than some of those cartoon characters I’d seen growing up and I honestly don’t know. I mean the strength thing is a definite yes, even though cartoon characters can be portrayed as being stronger all the time, but as far as being bigger, I dunno. I mean, it’s not like working out or dieting seems to be having any effect on me right now, so I guess I’ll just let my body do its own thing and hope I don’t get too ridiculously huge.

By the way, have you guys been reading the news about me lately? It’s funny how the press put their own spin on the things I’ve been doing in these videos. I mean, they’ve had people psychoanalysing me from what I’ve been showing you guys, like how I’ve been acting and how I answered the questions last time. They haven’t outright said I’m dangerous yet but they think I’m being irresponsible with these powers. Which kinda brings us back to those questions from the last video. One in particular caught my attention last time and it said “are you going to be a superhero or a supervillain?”

Now to me that’s kind of a tough question, I mean, I like to think that I’m a good guy, like, I’ve never been in trouble with the law and I always try to do good things, but will I always do the right thing with these powers? For a start off I can pretty much guarantee I’ll end up breaking the law with them. I mean, technically I already have if you count all the times I’ve broken the speed limits. But if you look at Superman, as good as he is he still breaks the law doesn’t he? How many times has he been into a different country without passing through border controls? Or been in foreign airspace when he probably shouldn’t be? And I’m pretty sure it’s against the law to do as much property damage as he does when he’s in these big fights.

So obviously that doesn’t make him a villain, but if I acted like him and refused to obey some laws, would that make me a villain? Now if you look at your average, one dimensional supervillain, they usually want world domination of some sort and that’s definitely not something I want; at all. I don’t want people being crushed beneath my feet and being oppressed by me, I mean, what the hell would I do with a world like that?

I kinda like the idea of being hidden in the general populous and helping people out in a way that only I would be able to though. I don’t want the glory or anything like that but maybe just knowing that I was using these powers for other people and not just for myself. Not that hiding amongst the general populous would be easy, especially if my body keeps getting bigger. I’d have to keep going to the gym and spending a fortune on food I don’t need just to maintain the image and, of course, everyone now knows my face now so that’ll make it harder to blend in, unless I get myself some glasses and hope they work as well as they do for Clark Kent.

But thinking back to what could make me a villain though is how I would act in certain big situations. Like if a government wanted me to help take down a regime then that would potentially make me a villain to the people in that country. And who’s to say who is the right person to be in power? I mean, some countries have always been at each other’s throats and either one might want me to go in to depose the other’s leader, but who am I to decide which one of them is right? But then on the other hand I could be seen as the villain for not siding with them, and potentially turning my back on my own country, or one of our allies, for not acting how they want me to.

That’s kinda why I’m avoiding the MoD at the moment. They haven’t told me what they want; in fact they haven’t reached out to me at all. All they’ve done is searched around where I’ve been before, but I have no idea what they’d do if they found me. Put me under arrest maybe? And then if I refuse, I technically become their enemy and therefore the villain. And what if they threatened somebody I knew to get me to work for them? Would I do what they want or try to rescue that person? I’m hoping nothing like that happens but who knows what’s in store for me.

So in answer to the question, I’m leaning more towards the hero, but at the same time I don’t want to be a tool. In both senses of the word. I don’t want to be a tool for this government or any other to do their dirty work, and I don’t want to be a tool, as in the asshole definition, who’s just selfish and doing things just for the glory and adulation. I don’t want people worshiping me like a god or building statues of me, I think that’d just be weird and uncomfortable. But above all, what I really don’t want is for people to be reliant on me. I don’t want to be blamed for not doing anything when somebody dies in a burning building on the other side of the planet because I wasn’t there. I don’t need that kind of guilt, but I have to be realistic and be prepared for it to happen, because I know it will.

The other question I said I’d come back to was from that guy I mentioned before, at least I’m assuming it’s a guy, but anyway, they asked “Do you have a hero? And I don’t mean, like, Superman or someone else fictional. Someone real. And why are they your hero?”

I guess the only person I could call my hero would be my dad, or I guess my adoptive dad as I’ve never met my real parents. I never really thought of him as my hero before, y’know? He was just…my dad. Looking back though he really shaped the way I am today after his wife died when I was quite young, I guess I should really call her my mother but I don’t really remember her. Anyway, my dad really stepped up as a single parent and sacrificed a lot to give me the best life possible. He was really encouraging in everything but he had a passion for travel and outdoor adventure that he passed that on to me, hence why I’m kinda loving being out in the wild like I have been since all this craziness started. Before you asked where he is now though I’m afraid to say I lost him a few years ago but I’m sure he would’ve seen all this super power stuff as just another adventure, and I know he would’ve wanted me to be responsible with it so that’s what I’m gonna do.

The final question I’m gonna answer said, “Do you think or hope there’s someone else out there like you?” That’s a tricky question as well. I mean it would be nice to have someone else know what I’m going through but I got these powers randomly and, not to be too conceited, you all kinda got lucky with me because I’m a nice guy, but what’s to say the other person or people who get randomly chosen are nice? There could be a serial killer or petty thug with delusions of being a crime boss out there just learning about all these powers right now, so do I want someone like that to be able to do all this? Hell no!! How would anyone stop someone like that? I mean, okay, I can do the same stuff, but I’m not a fighter so I really don’t want to have to do anything like that.

It’d probably be better if it was just me being able to do all this, but it might get a little lonely down the line. Hopefully you guys will feel safer if it is just me but we’ll have to see how things go.

Anyway, that’s enough depressing shit for today. I’m gonna keep on exploring the country.

Remember to leave comments below, I promise you I do read them, even if I don’t always respond, and I’ll catch you next time.

Hey guys, it’s Tyler again. Welcome to the Lake District.

I’m starting to feel like a tourist guide in these videos haha. Anyway, you may have noticed I just used my real name at the beginning there, which only makes sense considering it’s been all over the news this week. I’m not entirely sure how they found out the truth but it was probably someone I used to know recognising me from the news or one of these videos. Anyway, it’s out there now and there’s nothing I can do about it. So I guess a formal introduction is in order then. My name is Tyler James Marston or TJ, if you prefer nicknames. As you’ve probably read I’m twenty one and was brought up near Stratford upon Avon, you know, Shakespeare country. There’s probably other crap they’ve dug up about me in the news so feel free to read up on it all. Some of it’s true, some of it’s bollocks. I’ll leave you to figure out which is which.

So because of all that, things have been going crazy. I’ve got around seven million subscribers on here now and I’ve had messages from all over the world begging me for interviews or wanting me to go to their schools or do kids parties, I’ve even had some people asking me for money. Seriously? Do I look like I’ve got lots of money? I know I could easily get some though, I mean, I can think of a few ways to do it but none of them are legal so I won’t bother. Probably won’t be long until I get some idiots asking me to help them do a bank job or something like that. It wouldn’t be difficult I suppose, I mean, I could easily tear a vault door open with one hand now, and that’s not an exaggeration. I found an old safe in a derelict building the other week and pulled the door off easily. I even managed to screw it up like a piece of tin foil without any problems. It’s kinda scary how strong I am sometimes.

The thing is, even though I’ve been getting stronger my body seems to have stopped growing now. I mean check it out. I’m not like bodybuilder size or anything like that, I’d say more like a fitness model, which is fine with me as I can hide all this under some bulkier clothes if I want to blend in a bit more, and I haven’t had to buy any new clothes since this growth stopped so that always a plus. Hey there’s a thought, maybe I could make some money from modelling if I get a bit short of cash, I mean, I’m not bad looking and I’ve definitely got the body for it now, I could even maybe model some of these compression shirts, I mean, you can literally see every muscle showing under those tight tops I’ve got now so that’d be a selling point, right? I could also show how they don’t fall apart at high speeds, although I doubt anyone else will be getting up to the same speeds that I do.

Speaking of these weird abilities of mine; I’ve been reading up on Superman to see what he could do and testing myself to see if I have got all his powers. Okay, so let’s count them off: I’m super strong, incredibly fast, invulnerable, I’ve got super hearing, sight and other senses, a hell of a lot of stamina, a damn good memory and super strong breath. Not like garlicy breath but powerful before you all start saying I need a mint. Now if any of you know Superman you’ll know there’s a few missing there. Obviously flight is the main one and, so far, I still haven’t been able to do that. But I did try out the super breath thing again because not only can Superman blow out hurricane force winds, but he can also freeze things with his breath, so I wanted to try that.

It’s taken a bit of practice but I got it figured out now so watch this. I’m just gonna stand back a bit from the camera but the mic should still pick up what I’m saying. Okay, now it’s a pretty weird sensation because what I have to do is take in plenty of air…and then kinda compress it down in my lungs. It’s gonna be a bit tricky as I’m trying to talk as well but here goes. Okay now watch this…see the way it kinda tumbles out of my mouth like a mist? Sorta like when you open the freezer door in a supermarket, so that coming out now is kinda like the mist you get off dry ice. Now if I blow it onto this bottle of water you can see it cools right down but doesn’t freeze, it just gets a bit of condensation on there. So then I can bring that temperature down further to make it actually freeze the water in this bottle now, see? Just a big chunk of ice in there now. Okay, now let’s bring it down some more and watch this. There, so that time it was like blowing liquid nitrogen on it and now…it just shatters when it’s dropped.

Pretty cool isn’t it? Okay, bad pun I know, but you get what I mean. I’ve been trying it out with flowers and stuff like that too, kinda like the teachers used to show us in school and it works just the same. The only difference is I don’t need to wear gloves to handle the frozen flowers. I really wanted to try it on one of the lakes up here but I thought that might harm the wildlife so I didn’t bother. That reminds me, there’s a lake over there called Coniston Water where they broke the water speed record a few times in the 1950s. I wonder how they’d feel if they knew I could break that record on the same lake easily on foot.

Anyway, are you ready to see the coolest…I really need to find a better word than that. How about the most awesome, yet freaky power I’ve developed so far. Check out my eyes!! See the way I can make them glow red like that? That’s just the build up to the heat vision. I’ve got to be careful with this one cos obviously I want to show you it, but at the same time I don’t want to destroy the camera. So basically as you can see the iris is glowing red at the moment and there is a little heat coming off that, but not a lot. Okay, now if I turn away and use this plastic bottle you can see that it’s fine, now watch as I increase the intensity. See that? Even from about a foot away the bottle’s starting to melt.

So that’s kinda like a radiant heat coming from the iris. Kinda like infrared heat getting blasted out and I can increase the intensity of it so it can be used as a way to keep someone warm or cranked right up to melt steel. But if I shoot it out from sideways on to you, you can see that it’s almost invisible besides the ripples in the air. Oh shit!! Hang on a sec…sorry, I just set a tree on fire over there. Good thing I can blow it out before I start a forest fire. Okay, back to the heat vision thing. Right, now watch this. See how the iris is lit up as before but now there’s a little bit of light coming from the pupil. That’s where the more focused, laser type heat vision comes from. Now watch this; I’m gonna shoot it up over the camera so you can still see it come out but I won’t fry the camera. Here goes…

See that? Told you it was awesome. I don’t know how hot it is but if I bring the camera around you can see the scorch marks in the rocks up here. I think the weirdest thing is there’s no sound to it, besides the sound of whatever it hits burning. In the films there’s always this laser type sound but this doesn’t do that. Okay now watch this. I’m gonna use it to melt this rock in my hand and do something else with it. I could melt the entire cliff face into lava if I wanted to but that’d just destroy the natural beauty of the place so I’m gonna see if I can fuse this football sized rock onto the cliff face…ta da!! Hang on, lemme just blow on it to cool it down…there you go, you’d almost swear it had always been there.

I also found out that if I combine the two versions of the heat vision together and let the power build up before I unleash it, I can fire it out in a hot, concussive blast. Building the power up feels weird though, it’s like a really warm sensation at the back of my eyes just waiting to burst out. The biggest problem I’ve found with this though is I have to concentrate on what I’m doing. I’ll show you what I mean. I’m gonna try and burn my initials into this cliff face and you’ll see the problem. Okay, so if I start burning it here, what I have to watch out for now is if something distracts me and I look away…I end up turning it into the Nike logo instead, so I have to remember to shut it off before I look anywhere else otherwise it could be disastrous.

The one thing that’s never explained in the comics though is what does Superman see when he actually uses these powers? Well from my own experience I can say that, if I use the more radiant heat vision from the iris, it kinda looks all wobbly, if that’s the right way to describe it. I think the best example I can give is it makes everything look the same as if you look across a hot desert or look just above a flame if that makes sense. With the laser vision though, it’s almost like everything has a red glow, like you’re looking at stuff lit up by a red, neon light.

I’ve been trying it out with mirrors as well and the lasers do actually bounce off them, as long as I don’t make it too hot, and the radiant heat can obviously be reflected off metals and things like that. Basically it’s the same as any science experiments you did at school, or how cooking works. Hmmm…now there’s an idea, I might have to try cooking with heat vision to see how that works out. I could go on MasterChef to try and win some money on there if I start running short hahaha.

Oh and before anyone asks in the comments how all these powers work, I don’t have a clue. I suppose I could get a doctor to check it out but how the hell would they know where to start? And what could they do with the information when they figured it out? Probably not worth thinking about.

Anyway, I think that’s enough for today, let’s see what crap the newspapers write before the next video.

Later guys.

Hey guys. No surprise what this video’s about today.

I’m guessing you’ve all seen the headlines this week with the blurry shots of me flying about over the English Channel so yes it’s true, I can now defy gravity and fly like Superman. Check it out! How cool is this? I haven’t been able to stop smiling since I found out I could do it because, y’know, it’s something I’ve wanted to do since I was a kid and now it’s a reality. I bet you’re all wondering how it all came about so I’ll talk you through it.

So I wanted to go down to the south coast, as I’d been on a school trip to France years ago, and one of the things that stuck with me all those years was the White Cliffs around Folkestone and Dover, so I decided to go and take another look at them. When I got there I was pretty impressed with all the views and decided to stay for a while. Something had been nagging me about all these new abilities though, I mean, I knew I had that aura thingy to protect me from harm and my skin was pretty tough, but what about my bones? I decided to just go for it one night and jump off one of the cliffs to see if I’d be okay. I was pretty confident though as I’d had a few hard impacts over the last few weeks so I was pretty sure I’d survive.

What I didn’t count on though was how scary it would be. I mean, I ended up standing on that cliff edge for ages just trying to pluck up the courage to do it and trying to decide what the best way would be, like should I just walk off or jump? I ended up just closing my eyes and walking towards the edge and that was when it got weird. I felt the ground beneath my feet disappear but I wasn’t tumbling or falling so I carried on walking a couple more paces before I stopped, turned around and opened my eyes. When I did I could see the cliff a few feet away with nothing between me and the grass on top. Then I made the stupid mistake of looking down and it was like one of those old cartoons where they suddenly realise gravity is a thing.

It scared the crap outta me, just seeing nothing beneath me but the beach and that was when I just dropped like a stone. Luckily I didn’t video it otherwise I would’ve had to bleep out a lot of swearing. I started cringing as I got closer to the ground and ended up shutting my eyes and bracing myself for impact. After a second or two of nothing happening I opened my eyes to see that I’d stopped about arm’s length from the ground and just hovered for a second, then I suddenly dropped the last bit to land on my face in the sand. Definitely wasn’t my finest hour.

Anyway, after that I spent about half an hour trying to figure out how to get myself airborne, especially without having to shut my eyes every time, but then I got it sussed and I’ve been enjoying it ever since. I still haven’t figured out the mechanics of it though, I just kinda will myself into the air and voila, I can just float above the ground or go for a full on flight like this. Hold on, check this out…I’m just gonna set the camera up on the cliff edge here and zoom right out so you can see me zip around over the water, okay? There we go, back in a sec…

 

Pretty cool huh? And it just feels so natural to change direction or do flips and spins. I can even fly, if you want to call it that, under water. Like, I don’t have to do any swimming strokes or kick my legs for propulsion; I just fly under there the same as I would in the air. It makes getting around so much easier and with me being able to see the radio waves that radars use, I can stay away from those so I don’t scare the hell out of any air traffic controllers. You’ve probably already seen a few videos of me online doing all this anyway so I’m not going to do too much here. It kinda feels like I’m showing off if I do that but it is soooo much easier to get around now without worrying about running into anyone or damaging anything at ground level. It just feels like total freedom now.

One weird thing I’ve found with flying though is not knowing how to position myself. I know it sounds weird but, like, should I stand up to fly or lie down? I can move at the same speed either way but I just think it’d look weird to so it standing upright. Same with hovering; if I’m just floating in the air it looks weird to do it lying down so I have to stand up. And with my arms and legs, like, do I keep my legs straight and together with toes pointed or slightly apart? And do I put my arms out in front or one arm in front like Superman or have them off to the sides like Perter Pan? I know these are pretty stupid things to be thinking about but you don’t really know about these things until it comes to trying them out.

Oh and you might have noticed the clothes I’m wearing today. Just your average T shirt and shorts, with shoes no less. I haven’t been wearing these when I’ve been going really fast because, as you’ve seen before, they don’t tend to survive. But what I’ve found this week is that, if I want to, I can extend that aura of mine to anything I’m touching, so now I don’t have to worry about taking my shoes off to go for a run or burning off all my clothes if I fly too fast. I haven’t tried taking any of my electronics really high though yet as I don’t know if my aura will protect them from the cold up there but maybe I can buy a cheap phone and try it with that first.

Speaking of going higher, it’s amazing how the Earth actually looks from the edge of space. I know most of you have probably seen satellite images and views from space online, but nothing beats just floating up there and watching aircraft passing by under your feet or the clouds moving across a whole country. I could stay up there for hours just watching it all as it’s so peaceful. I haven’t gone out of the atmosphere yet as I’m still a little worried about if I’ll survive out there. I probably will though as the thinner atmosphere and the cold doesn’t bother me. I’ve also been really deep in the ocean and haven’t felt any problems with the pressure down there so I reckon I’ll survive the vacuum of space.

Maybe I’ll go and check out the moon someday just to put any conspiracy theories to rest. Can you imagine if they were true though? I could be the first man to walk on the moon hahaha. Oh and to all the flat earthers out there…nah I’m not gonna spoil it; you can all believe what you want.

I’m gonna head off anyway guys, I dunno where to though, I mean, I can go anywhere really easily now so maybe I’ll do the next video from another country or something. As always keep the comments and questions coming and I’ll see you next time.

How’s it going guys, this is gonna be a bit of a different video today.

Okay, so it’s just after 5 a.m. and I’m currently sitting on top of a tower block in Sheffield. Now I’m assuming you’re asking yourself why so here’s the deal. A couple of hours ago I got a text to say that three of my old work buddies had been taken into custody and are being held at undisclosed locations around the country. I’m meant to present myself to a location in the Channel Isles by midnight tonight as a full, unconditional surrender. Once I am in custody I will be debriefed on my abilities and held until they can determine my threat level to the United Kingdom. Failure to do so will result in my buddies being imprisoned for life due to the treason act, and I will be declared an enemy of the United Kingdom who may use any and all means of military force to subdue me.

Can you believe that? They’ve actually taken UK citizens hostage to get me to cooperate with them. Now what they failed to mention in that text is that those three people are being held under armed guard with soldiers who have been ordered to shoot to kill myself and the hostages – which is what I’m going to call them as they’re not prisoners – if any attempt is made, by me, to rescue them. Also, about two minutes after that text was sent, my phone went completely dead and won’t turn on anymore. So now I’ve got to fly myself over to Jersey and hand myself in, otherwise these people are going to lose their freedom.

Now here’s where things get interesting. First of all I know exactly where all three hostages are being held. I’m currently looking at one of them right now as they’re about four miles away in a derelict building. The other two are in similar places in Ashford and Swansea. I’ve put the addresses to the places they’re being held in the description for this video and, hopefully, you guys watching this will be so disgusted that your government are holding innocent citizens hostage that you’ll want to go to those places to protest. It’s ridiculous that they’re being held hostage just because they happened to work or go to school with me a few years ago, so yeah, go and tell them if you’re not happy.

This video isn’t just going to be uploaded as normal; it’s going to be uploaded to all social media platforms, so feel free share the hell out of it, save it and even repost it if it gets taken down. It’s also being sent to all the media outlets here and abroad, the families of those being held hostage, and also to the families of every soldier who is currently holding those hostages. Why? Very simple. Because the Ministry of Defence has put those soldiers up against an enemy they know nothing about and have no hope of beating. They have put blind faith in their intelligence which has been gathered solely by what I’ve shown in these videos and whatever information they may have garnered from people who have known me in the past. That, to them, is enough to do something ridiculous like this and assume they’re going to have a happy outcome where they get to have the ultimate soldier at their command, and the British public will be blissfully unaware of how they went about getting my cooperation.

So here’s a question directly aimed at the top brass in the MoD… how stupid are you? Do you honestly think I didn’t know what you’ve been planning all this time? I’ve been keeping tabs on you all for weeks. Ever since you guys showed up at that old house I’ve been watching and listening to you. These powers of mine have been increasing all the time in between these videos and I’ve only given you a slight glimpse into how strong they’ve become.

Let me just give you a few examples of how I’ve been monitoring the MoD: When they arrived at that house I quickly established who was in charge of that operation and listened in to see what they were all doing. Then if you noticed I said I was in the Peak District in a later video. That was to let them know where to look for me so they could send another task force, and then again I said where I was in the videos after that. So now you have multiple task forces dealing with all these different locations and they obviously have to report back to someone higher up. Now I’m not going to say the guy’s name on here but I will tell you that I was able to hack into his phone, read his emails and texts, as well as listen in to his conversations.

I can bet he’s looking at his phone now and wondering how I hacked it; well it’s pretty easy when I can see him type his password in from miles away and then go into his house while he’s asleep and read it all at my leisure. Honestly these guys don’t have a clue about how I can use these powers sneakily. I’ve got to admit though, I like the way they’ve all been researching what I can do. Did you know there’s a whole squad dedicated to reading anything to do with Superman, just to get any information about what I can do? The problem is the information isn’t accurate as even those writers and artists got some stuff wrong.

For example, that building I’m watching right now has been lead lined to stop me seeing in and they’ve put acoustic dampers in so I can’t hear anything in there, or that’s what they think. In actual fact I can see everything in there just fine and I can hear what they’re saying, as well as watching the radio waves leave their walkie talkies. Not only that but this other phone I have here is logged into all their emails and every other form of communication they’ve been using. I’ve also got this nice little radio I’ve acquired from one of their quarantine zones which is helping me hear all their chatter.

Another thing they’ve been unaware of is what I am actually capable of. There isn’t a single weapon that any of those soldiers are currently using that will do anything more than tickle me. How do I know? Because the Ministry of Defence are incredibly lax when it comes to keeping a good check on their inventory. Over the past few weeks I’ve borrowed and, in some cases, stolen some of their weapons for testing purposes. I’ve shot myself with every bullet from every gun they’ve ever had and not been hurt by a single one. I’ve held onto grenades as they’ve detonated, stared straight into flashbangs as they’ve gone off and inhaled various gasses from those other grenades with no ill effects.

I’ve even found some old unexploded bombs from world war two in various places around the country to see if they’d hurt me and they didn’t. So unless they’re planning on detonating nuclear weapons in populated areas in the hope of getting rid of me, then they might as well forget about fighting me as it’ll only put their soldiers and possibly the general public at risk.

So that brings me back to why I’m sending this video to the families of those soldiers. Those guys have been given orders to shoot the hostages if I don’t cooperate and to claim that it was my careless attempt at a rescue that caused them to be in the crossfire. So I want their families to know that if those hostages die, then it is their loved ones who are going to be murdering innocent civilians. I also want them to know that if I do have to rescue any of those hostages then my priority is their safety and not that of the soldiers. I’m going to do everything I can to protect everybody but I probably can’t stop every bullet, so if one of those soldiers gets killed then it will be their own fault for starting a fight they can’t win.

Now I’m going to sum this up very clearly. When this video hits the internet I want it everywhere. I want the people of this country and the world to be outraged at the treatment of these hostages. I want the families of those soldiers to be ashamed and disgusted at what their loved ones are being made to do. And lastly, I want the MoD to realise they’ve pissed me off and there’s not a damn thing they can do to stop me. If I wanted to I could just walk right into that building, and I don’t mean through the doors, I mean right through the walls; the reinforced concrete and steel beams wouldn’t pose any sort of a problem to me and neither would any of those weapons in there.

So stand down, let the hostages go back to their normal lives and don’t treat me like the enemy you really don’t want, because I know who’s calling the shots, and if you think I’m a goody two shoes like Superman, then that’ll be your last mistake. I will do everything I can to protect my friends, and the people of the world from anyone who puts them in harm’s way just to get what they want. I’m a free citizen of this country and this planet and I will not be used as a pawn in any conflicts no matter how you try to threaten me.

Right, now that all the horrible stuff is out the way I just want to say a big thank you to everyone who’s been messaging me on these videos. There’s been a lot of support from you guys and I’m hoping you’ll see me as a hero after all this. Just do me a favour, if you’re going to be outraged at this then don’t get violent with the authorities. Let them go peacefully as the soldiers are just following orders and as I said before, they have families as well.

Love you guys and I’ll see you all soon.

G’day mates and welcome to Australia.

I know it’s been a couple of months since the last video but, as you’ve probably seen, a lot has happened since then. Now I know there’s a lot of viewers and subscribers from all over the world and you probably haven’t all had the same news that we’ve had in the UK, so let’s bring you all up to speed on what’s been happening lately.

First of all my friends were all released without harm after the public outcry at what had been done to them, and a lot of people turned up at the sites where they were being held to voice their disgust. Thankfully they were all pretty peaceful but a couple of people got a bit rowdy until I had a word with them, or in some cases moved them quite a distance away to cool off. The Defence Secretary and the Home Secretary were both made to resign, and the Prime Minister was hanging on by a thread until the government decided to open some proper lines of communication with me. There were also a few high ranking officials in the armed forces who were also relieved of command afterwards as well. Thankfully everything’s all good between me and the government now so hopefully it’ll stay that way.

So since all that’s happened things have changed quite a bit for me. I’ve kinda taken on the superhero role a little bit, complete with my own costume. I’ve got a public relations crew working with me now to help me with my image and they went through a load of costume choices with me. Obviously I tried out the traditional spandex ones with the capes but they were just too impractical. I like this one though as the combat type trousers and this vest thing are practical rather than just being skin-tight. Plus I’ve got loads of pockets to carry my phone, first aid stuff and anything else I might need from time to time. It looks a bit like it’s designed for the military but I like it just for the practicality. And I wanted it to be more colourful as well so people didn’t feel like I was trying to hide, so naturally I asked the designers to throw in some primary colours and, even though they’re not as bright as Superman’s, I think the designers did a pretty good job. I also had to make sure there were no sleeves as well cos people are always asking to see the guns hahaha.

Speaking of the PR crew. These guys are amazing. They’ve been trying to improve my image with the costume as well as thinking up a superhero name for me. Most of the names have been terrible but that’s because there’s not a lot left that isn’t already trademarked. I kinda like just being called TJ though so they might just have to market that. Not that I’m doing any of this for the money. Any money that’s made is donated to charities, after the PR crew are paid of course, and I’ve made sure that my image is being cared for by more up and coming people in the industry to improve their prospects rather than just going with the big, profit hungry corporations. I’m all about helping people from the ground up and not lining the pockets of the super-rich elite, so I have some of the most ambitious people working for me to help themselves, if that makes sense.

As far as being a hero is concerned, the main things I’ve been trying to do are to learn more from the police and other emergency responders. I’ve been helping some police forces out with some missing person’s cases and even found some bodies that have been missing for years which is a bit grim, but it’s helped to give the families some closure. That’s one of the reasons why I’m here in the outback of Australia rather than back in the UK. It’s summer over here now and it’s hotter than Satan’s underpants, which means there’s a huge risk of wildfires breaking out. So I’ve been working with the Fireys, as they call them over here, to find out the best ways I can use my powers to help with any bushfires they get when the weather’s like this.

So far they’ve shown me how to create firebreaks by clearing the trees out and that’s been fun. Tearing trees out of the ground with just my bare hands never gets old, and at least this time it’s for a good reason. It looks pretty funny from the ground as well when they see a tree flying past with little me underneath it. You can probably find some videos that people have uploaded of that around the internet. The main thing I’ve been trying to stress with all this though is that I’m not trying to take anybody’s jobs away. These guys still do the amazing work they’ve always done, but if I can help them out and keep them safer then I will do.

I’ve also been working with geologists, seismologists and volcanologists, to understand how I could help if we get some big disasters happening around the world. We haven’t got it all figured out yet but we’re working on it. We’re also still trying to work out my international travel rights. Like, I’m allowed to go anywhere in the British Commonwealth without any issues, hence why it’s so easy for me to get into Australia, but some other countries, especially the USA are a bit more reluctant to let me in. Although I have told them that I will enter the country whether they like it not if I feel they need my help, like if California has major wildfires or an earthquake or something. If they don’t like it then that’s tough luck.

It’s not all work though, I get plenty of time to just chill out and relax, but what I really like to do is just meet people and show them I’m not scary or anything like that. And if you’re wondering about how much I’m worth, well the answer is very little. I don’t earn any money from anything I do but if I want something I’ll usually make a deal with the company who owns what I want to endorse whatever it is. I’m not exclusive to anybody or anything like that but I have had a lot of people sending me free stuff which then gets donated to people who actually need it.

I quite like working with the fitness industry too as they keep trying to get me to endorse their supplements and things like that, even though I don’t need any of them. Although, if something tastes good I might just say that I like it, just to give them a boost. I was also invited to the BodyPower Expo in Birmingham and that was a lot of fun. Some of the guys there are a lot bigger than me so it’s always nice to see their egos get stroked as they pose next to me, but what I love is to find out who the two strongest people are there and put both of their maximum squat weight onto a bar and then just curl it with one hand. They all take it in good fun and even offer to sit on that same bar as I lift it with them on. I’ve even sat signing autographs with one hand while five big guys have been trying to wrestle the other one down to the table.

I’m hoping everything gets sorted out with the US border controls soon as I really want to go to Muscle Beach. I reckon that’d be a fun place to meet people and see how the big guys over there feel about me. It’d also be good to speak to the guys at NASA to see how I can help with anything space related. I mean, if we get an asteroid heading to Earth or anything like that I have no idea how to deal with that. I could probably just smash it easily but that could make things worse so I’ll get the boffins there to run all the numbers.

Anyway, this is probably going to be my last video on this channel because things are getting really hectic. Don’t worry though, you’ll still see me around on TV and in the news, and who knows, you might even end up running into me randomly somewhere when I’m exploring. I’ve only scratched the surface of everything there is to see on this planet and there’s plenty more places for me to go, so you never know where you might see me next. I’m leaving the channel online as well and maybe I’ll come back to do a video in the future or I might even see if one of the PR crew want to take over. Either way you can go back and look at the older videos any time you want.

Thanks for all the support and encouragement over the last few months. Love you all and I’ll see you soon.

Later guys.

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