Cocks and minds

by Cockatrice   

Not having a cock himself, Hatim’s only chance to get transformed is a retired dicking coach.

Ben was bored out of his skull. Life had been going more slowly than ever since he quit his job. Usually he could meet with friends or find something else to do, but today there was seemingly nothing.

He was contemplating watching TV, but quickly dispelled that thought. He wasn’t that desperate.

Yet…

He looked over to the television and frowned. Normal people watch their shows on the various streaming services, but Ben never really found any show that stuck. He didn’t even watch TV, but somehow he always considered having one in the living room to be proper. Maybe it was just the way he was brought up. The TV was always running, his mom had the daily dross of reality TV running in the background, neither watching nor listening.

Now the device sat there on its stand, barely used. In fact, Ben could not remember the last time he had turned it on.

But maybe today would be the day. Ben walked over to the TV and grabbed the remote. He stared at the button that would wake it from its slumber, like a hero standing at the edge of the lion’s cave.

There he stood, contemplating turning on daytime reality TV just to pass the time.

Good god, what was he doing with his life?

The ringing of his doorbell pulled Ben out of his absurd internal monologue. He sighed in relief at the distraction as he put down the remote and went to the door.

Ben peeked through the door’s spy hole and saw a man on the other side, in his twenties from the looks of it.

Several thoughts started racing through Ben’s head. Who was this guy? What did he want from Ben? Did he maybe know him? Was it a former client he didn’t remember? Was the guy interested in Ben? But he was like 20 years younger than Ben. Wait, was Ben reaching the threshold where he became Daddy? Was that why the guy was interested in him? Was 43 the magic number? Did Ben get old?!

Ben didn’t know if he should feel flattered.

Or if he should have a minor freakout.

Or if he should maybe just open the door and see what the man had to say.

Hatim double checked the address and the name on the doorbell before he rang. The house was located in a nice neighborhood, not quite suburbs, but far from the hustle and bustle of the city.

It took a few moments, but eventually the door opened a little bit, with the chain still attached to it. A stern looking man’s face peeked through the gap. “Yes?”

“Are you Mister Diego?” Hatim asked.

“Yes, what do you want?”

“I’m looking for a dicking coach and a colleague of yours gave me your address. He said you—”

“I’m not in the business anymore,” Mr Diego cut him off.

“I was told you could help me.”

“Why?”

Hatim paused and looked around him. Dicking wasn’t exactly something frowned upon, but this was still a personal matter. He continued in a lowered voice. “I don’t have a dick.”

Mr Diego briefly raised his eyebrows, before returning to his frown. “I don’t think I can help you.”

The man seemed gruff, but Hatim knew that a dicking coach was likely his only chance. “But you did it before.”

“The host was a highly experienced coach himself. How experienced is your host?”

Hatim looked away. “I don’t have one yet.”

“Then who do you…” Mr Diego trailed off, before the realization hit. “Wait. No. Absolutely not. I can’t help you, sorry.”

Before Hatim could say anything, the door slammed shut.

Hatim looked down to consider his options. There weren’t many dicking coaches. While it wasn’t exactly obscure, giving up your human form wasn’t common either. A merged dick still had his consciousness of course, but would be unable to speak or move around by itself. The total dependence on his host meant that only few men were willing to undergo the process.

Plus, Hatim’s pool of possible hosts was even more limited due to his lack of a cock. Without a neural map of a penis within his own body the merging process would be a lot harder for him and his host, meaning only an experienced coach would be suitable. And just now, one of the few coaches to ever successfully merge a man without his own cock into another man as a cock denied him.

Defeated, he turned around and took the steps down to the pavement leading to the street. After only a few steps he heard a noise coming from behind him, like a door unlocking. He turned around to see the door opening wide.

Mr Diego stood there, his brow still furrowed. “You’re lucky I have nothing better to do.”

Ben mentally slapped himself. Had he really let his boredom get the better of him?

After the man made his way through the door, Ben closed it behind him. “What’s your name?”

“Hatim.”

“You can call me Ben.” Ben looked Hatim up and down. “How old are you?”

“22, sir.”

Ben was screaming inside his head. Oh my god, don’t call me that.

“Drop it,” Ben said. “I’m your coach, not your old man.”

Hatim looked at him in equal parts composure and innocence. He knew what he wanted and he wasn’t here to make enemies. “Sorry.”

Ben immediately felt bad. He didn’t mean to be gruff, but he felt like he didn’t have a proper grip on this guy. Why was he here? Why did he want to merge into Ben? How much does he know about Ben? Questions upon questions.

“So,” Ben gestured to the couch. “How much experience with dicking do you have?”

Hatim sat down and looked to the side. “None.”

“Hmph.” This’ll be a longer introduction then. “Do you want some tea?”

Hatim stole a glance at Ben’s dick as both of them undressed.

“Having second thoughts?” Ben asked. His face was as unreadable as always, stoic and devoid of any softness. Hatim wondered if Ben cared at all or if it was, as he had said himself, just a way to kill time.

The introduction took some time, but they went through it quicker than Ben thought. Afterall, Hatim had read up on the dicking process already. The only things unclear were those unique to Ben’s procedure.

“No.” Hatim thought for a moment. “Do you think this’ll work?”

“As I told you from the start,” Ben moved onto the bed. “No.”

Hatim rolled his eyes. Ben’s honesty was so refreshing. Nevertheless he shucked his briefs and climbed into the bed as well where Ben was already working his dick. He positioned himself on all fours facing the wall.

The entire situation felt rather unreal. There was no passion in the air. Every sound seemed magnified as if underlining the silence.

“Can you hand me the bottle of lube?” Ben asked from behind.

Hatim scanned the headboard for the bottle and found a black bottle with golden linework and text. He quickly checked the label and handed it to Ben.

Moments later he felt Ben’s slick fingers working his asshole. Ben’s movements betrayed his years of expertise. They were quick and efficient, rapidly slicking up his asshole in just a few strokes.

Hatim felt Ben’s hands on his hips. “All right, are you ready?”

“Yes, let’s do it.” As Hatim felt a hot tip pressing against his asshole, he braced himself for what was coming next.

As gentle as a drop of honey, Ben pushed his dick deeper into Hatim. The movements and speed were calculated, meant to maximize bonding between partners willing to undergo the dicking process. But despite this, or maybe because of it, it was pleasurable to both men.

Hatim couldn’t help but let out a sigh as Ben’s cock had moved deep enough that his crotch pressed against Hatim’s skin.

Ben began his mantra. “Let our passions become one. Let our lust intertwine. Let our feelings complement each other.”

Hatim knew that the words of the mantra didn’t matter as much as the act of recitation itself. It was a means to focus without distracting from the process of merging.

“Let your skin become my skin. Let your flesh become my flesh. Let your blood become my blood.”

Hatim felt a heat grow inside of him. It was subtle at first, but he quickly realized that it was not the natural raise of body temperature from having sex. There was something else going on. The pleasure in his ass started to radiate outwards through his whole body until he could feel it on his skin and even his face. It was working. They were merging!

“Let go of your form, but not of yourself. Let us become one of body, two of mind.”

As Ben continued repeating his mantra as he was working Hatim’s hole, Hatim felt the pleasure rising. It wasn’t raw sexual pleasure. It was almost… spiritual? Subtle, but thorough. It was as if he was feeling everything with more than just his body. As if he was somehow more.

In the back of his mind, he heard Ben continuing his mantra. His own mind seemed to wander with the pleasure through his body. Absentmindedly he noticed his right hand roaming. It went over his chest, down his stomach and further to his crotch.

Hatim’s body went into auto-pilot as his mind entered transformative bliss. As his hand slipped two fingers into his vagina, he felt the familiar feeling of raw lust shoot through himself.

The warm pleasure from Ben’s cock and the surge from his crotch seemed to compete, inciting each other to rise higher and higher. In the distance he heard Ben talk to him, but he didn’t listen. He was lost in at least three layers of bliss.

He was almost there. He could feel it. He would be a cock any moment now.

Almost. Just a little. His fingers reached deeper.

There!

The feeling brought him over the edge. Throbbing with orgasm, Hatim came as he had never come before and collapsed on the bed.

And just like that, the magic was gone. The pleasure left his body, his human body. And he felt Ben’s dick pull out.

Ben watched Hatim crawl to the edge of the end and sit there. No doubt he was disappointed it didn’t work, a fact that didn’t surprise Ben in the least. It took some couples dozens of tries before a successful transformation.

What did surprise Ben, however, was how far they got. The merging process itself had almost started. He could feel Hatim’s skin. It was still far from a successful transformation of course, but rarely did a couple he was coaching reach such a point on the first try.

“And you said you have no previous experience?” Ben asked.

Hatim didn’t turn around. “None.”

“Mmh, maybe you’re a natural.” Ben smiled.

“Maybe I know what I want,” Hatim countered.

Sheesh, what a tough crowd.

“Maybe.” Ben tried to lighten the mood. “Or maybe I’m just that good of a coach.”

Without a word Hatim got up and started getting dressed. Ben saw the disappointment in Hatim’s eyes. Sadness, too. He really wanted this. He really wanted to become a dick. He reminded him of—

Hatim interrupted his thoughts. “So, I guess that’s it then?” He asked without looking.

Ben hesitated. The main reason he agreed to try it was a mixture of curiosity and boredom, it was mainly for his own amusement, but now looking at Hatim it felt unfair to just drop him like this, like he led him on.

“When’s the next time you’re free?” Ben asked.

Hatim looked at Ben for the first time since they attempted the merge.

“I would advise you to rest for one or two days, but we shouldn’t wait too long,” Ben explained. “Muscle memory can help with the process.”

“I’m free whenever you have time.”

“Monday then?”

“Sure.” There was an awkward silence, before Hatim grabbed the rest of his stuff. “I should go.”

“Do we start right away or—?” Hatim asked as he entered Ben’s house.

Ben closed the door behind him. “No, we need to go over what went wrong last time.”

“Right.” Hatim bit his lips. He couldn’t tell whether Ben was disappointed with him leaving early or the process not working.

Or if Ben was disappointed at all. That man was unreadable.

“Do you want tea?” Ben asked as Hatim made his way to the couch.

“Yes.”

Ben brought two cups and placed a thermos flask on the table.

“Do you drink a lot of tea?” Hatim asked as Ben poured tea into both cups.

“Yes.”

“It smells nice.”

“Thanks.”

“So… What went wrong last time?”

Ben looked up from his tea. “Nothing. I mean, obviously it didn’t work so, yes, we failed, but we got pretty far for the first try.” Ben blew onto his tea.

“So you meant what you said?”

“Of course. Why would I tell you to come again if I didn’t?”

Hatim looked down at his tea. “I don’t know.”

Several seconds passed.

“So…” Hatim picked up the conversation again. “Why did we fail?”

“Right.” Ben put down his tea. “You made the rookie mistake.”

“I lost myself in the bliss?”

“That’s not the problem. In fact, momentarily losing yourself is required for the merge to complete. The barriers between our selves need to dissolve, if only briefly.”

Hatim lowered his cup. “Is that what I felt?”

“Mmh?”

“For a moment, right before I… Before I lost myself. It felt like I had a sort of experience. It sounds stupid but it felt almost spiritual, like I was feeling more than I physically could.”

Ben had to laugh. “No, haha, that wasn’t an out of body experience, I’m sorry.” He caught himself. “But what you’re describing is accurate. We shared feelings and sensations. You were feeling part of what I was feeling, just not as precise. A bit like a blurred vision at the edge of what you’re seeing, making it look like you can see more, if only you could focus. Basically, our neurons were sharing information but they weren’t really connected the way they are in a body, so it was mainly just noise.”

Hatim put his cup down. Hearing the actual explanation somehow took the whole magic out of the memory.

“And no,” Ben continued. “That wasn’t us almost merging. We got far for a first try, but we got nowhere close to the last gate.”

“The last gate?”

“It’s a theory among dicking coaches. Some think it’s bogus, but in my personal experience it has some merit. Probably needs some refinement.”

“What are the three gates?”

Ben looked at Hatim over his tea. “The first is The Body. That was the one we experienced. When that gate is opened, the merger and the mergee physically fuse with each other. That is also where your ‘spiritual awakening’ came from.” Ben smirked. “From our neurons starting to connect. Opening the Body Gate brings with it intense pleasure. This is also the gate that is used recreationally without intent to merge. It’s a pretty fancy way to get off I guess.”

“But you unfuse again if it fails?”

“Well yes, the merge process needs to be seen through all three gates, otherwise it reverts fully.”

“Do you know of cases where partial merges have not fully reverted.”

“None. Some say it’s theoretically possible. Wrote my thesis on it, actually. The process is like rolling a ball up a pyramid. If you let go, the ball will roll all the way down, reverting all progress you’ve made. But if it is possible to lodge the ball somewhere, well…” Ben trailed off.

“What’s the second gate?”

“Right, the second gate is The Mind. Opening this gate brings with it a sort of enhanced awareness of the surroundings and each other. The neurons have fully merged and transmit feelings and perceptions between the two partners. Everyone will hear what the other hears, etc. Bliss fades into the background. The main pitfall is that if you do not focus, the heightened awareness will pull you out of the process. The mantra’s main purpose is getting past this gate.”

Ben looked down at his tea. “The third gate is… The Soul.” He made a face. “At least that’s what the original author called it. Probably the main reason why it was met with some pushback by the community.”

“How does it work?”

“It’s a bit esoteric. The theory postulates that for a merge to be successful, there needs to be a special connection between the host and the mergee, like an emotional one. They need to connect on a level beyond the physical. The implication is that no matter how experienced, some people simply cannot merge.”

There was an awkward silence. Hatim considered his options.

“It’s all probably bogus anyway.” Ben smiled.

Hatim could tell the smile was forced. “But you said you subscribe to it.”

“I said I think it has some merit,” Ben corrected him. “The first two gates match my experiences as a dicking coach neatly. The last one is complicated. Finding people who have no connection with each other wanting to get dicked is impossible.” He looked at Hatim. “Well, near impossible, I guess.”

Hatim looked down at his tea again. “Do you think it’ll work?”

“Well, I mean, you don’t have a dick.” Ben was stumbling over his own words. “That means your body does not have the neural map of one, which makes it harder for you to change into a dick. Your body would either have to make one up or borrow a map from someone else. The only time I ever saw it working, the mergee looked like the host’s dick after—”

“I’m not talking about that,” Hatim interrupted. “I mean the Third Gate. Do you think we can open it, given that we don’t really know each other?”

Ben briefly looked at Hatim, before looking at his tea again.

“And remember what I said when we get to the First Gate,” Ben said as he was undressing.

After discussing the Three Gates Theory, the two men actually went through the process again and what to look out for. It was all very technical, but Hatim seemed to have no trouble with it.

“Yes, yes, got it,” Hatim confirmed and handed Ben the bottle of lube.

Ben wouldn’t admit it to someone, but he grew a little fond of Hatim, despite the distance he put up. It was clear that he really wanted to get merged.

After lubing up each other, Ben positioned himself behind Hatim. “Ready?”

“Let’s go,” Hatim replied.

Ben gently pushed in, just like last time. Truth be told, it had become a bit of a routine at this point. While he normally coached couples, it was easier to guide the mergee through the process in a more hands-on manner. For the merger the whole process was much easier.

Ben began his mantra like last time and felt the heat in his crotch as the transformation procedure started. He heard Hatim pant in front of him again.

The pleasure rose and the First Gate approached. Ben could feel the heat expanding and more importantly he could feel it expanding into Hatim. His cock was merging with Hatim’s body.

Ben saw Hatim’s hands twitching with need. The young man was tempted by the pleasure.

Ben continued in his mantra-like tone. “Remember what we talked about. Pleasure the cock, not yourself.” It was important that the mergee did not touch himself. The transformation began in the mind after all.

Ben could feel himself expanding into Hatim, almost filling him out. They were nearing the apex of the First Gate.

Ben decided it was time for a test, to see if Hatim really internalized what they had talked about. “How are you feeling?”

Due to their physical connection, Hatim could sense the flexing in Hatim’s throat. He was about to give a verbal reply and the feeling was already dimming. There was only little room for error.

“No.” Ben put a hand around Hatim. The young man had shrunk, but he still had some human features, most noticeably a head at the end of an oversized cock shaft. “Not your voice. You are a cock. Remember what we talked about.” It was important to keep Hatim in the moment so Ben tried to keep his speech as mantra-like as possible.

Instead of receiving a reply, Ben could feel Hatim flexing with his entire body, a throb. An appropriate reaction from a cock, not a man.

Ben was pleased. “Very good.”

The feeling returned and Ben closed his eyes in anticipation of the Second Gate.

The pleasure of the heat gave way to a feeling of clarity, like an orb of clear water was expanding from the center of the heat. The pleasure didn’t disappear, but it was pushed to the periphery.

Suddenly everything became much more noticeable. It was as if the sounds around them were amplified. Ben noticed the light in his room even through his eyelids, the fabric of his bedsheets against his skin.

Ben tried to block out as much sensation as possible and he noticed Hatim doing the same. It was a rocky road and several times it felt like they were slipping away, but they made it.

The sensations slowly dimmed and returned to normal as Hatim’s human features faded away and he assumed the proper form of a cock.

Ben risked a peek and looked down at Hatim. He looked just like Ben’s cock, just slightly oversized. Ben was pleased. They had passed the Second Gate, just how they had passed the first on the first try.

Then Ben felt it. With Hatim’s physical transformation complete, a new feeling expanded from the center of their union. This time it felt like a void, marking the end of the transformation process.

As if to prevent Hatim from slipping away, Ben gripped his enlargened cock with both hands. He felt the veins snaking against his fingers.

As the feeling expanded, Ben threw back his head and forced himself into steady breaths. It was important not to get carried away.

The orb of nothingness expanded in front of his mind’s eye. They were so close. Ben had never experienced the end of the transformation process in person, but he knew that they were only seconds away from completing it.

The void expanded until it engulfed his entire consciousness.

That’s it. That’s—

Ben felt himself wake up on the bed. He can’t have been out long as he felt a drop of sweat run down his temple.

When he opened his eyes he saw Hatim lying on the head end of the bed, his eyes open but staring at nothing. He was probably processing what just happened.

Ben let out a sigh. He was such a giant idiot. Of course it wouldn’t work on the second try. It never did.

Hatim suddenly looked at him, wide-eyed. “What was that?”

Ben smiled through the exhaustion. “The Third Gate.”

“Remember, pleasure the cock, not yourself,” Ben intoned the mantra behind Hatim.

Over time the reminder from Ben had found its way into the mantra proper and he had included it since the second try. By now Hatim and Ben had tried about a dozen times but they never made it past the Third Gate.

“Pleasure the cock,” Hatim repeated as he felt the warmth expand from his ass outwards. The entire process hasn’t exactly become routine for him, but he now had a pretty good grasp of what was happening and when.

They were merging, just like the last dozen or so times.

“Not yourself,” Hatim continued. He had joined in onto the mantra as a means to focus himself. Not giving into the pleasure was still one of the harder parts and the mantra helped.

When the warmth had begun filling his entire body, he felt his skin tingling, as it always did. It was reforming as the body was shrinking. While his arms and legs were absorbed into his body, he felt veins snaking under his skin. It felt like they were growing larger but in truth he was becoming smaller.

“How do you feel?” Ben asked. He always did. It started out as a test. But they used it as a milestone now. It gave them a sense of progress.

Without thinking, Hatim throbbed. He had fully assumed the role of a cock by now. Sometimes he even found himself reacting like a cock outside of their sessions. Ben said that was a good sign. It is difficult to rely on conscious behavior during the merging process.

By now Hatim had shrunk to a cock shaft the size of an arm, though he still had a human head at the end. The face was always the last to disappear.

Then the heat gave way to what felt like a shiver running up his back. The Second Gate. It wasn’t uncomfortable, more like a cool breeze on a hot summer day, displacing the warmth, but also clearing his head.

Ben’s sensations flooded into Hatim’s mind, most notably holding himself. Ben had wrapped both hands around Hatim’s shrinking body and Hatim felt the grip from both perspectives.

Hatim was still following Ben’s mantra, first verbally, then in his head as his facial features faded away. Anatomically, he was now fully a cock, which meant that the Third Gate would be coming next.

As if on cue the cold breeze inside of him gave way to a void expanding from his base to the end of his shaft body. This was always the part they could never finish. Every time they would wake up on the bed panting from the exhaustion.

The first time, Hatim was shocked. An expanding void is not how he pictured the finale to the merging process, but Ben explained that the emptiness was the transformation process itself ending and both the merger and the mergee finalizing their new forms. When the warmth represented the bodies merging and the feeling of clarity the shared sensations, then the cessation of both could only be felt as nothing.

Of course, by now the feeling of emptiness had lost its mystery, but not so much its fascination.

Hatim couldn’t tell if Ben cared about this merge as well or if it was all just professional curiosity, but he himself was determined to make today the last time. They would merge today. He would become Ben’s cock.

He heard Ben continue his mantra and was following along in his mind.

“Let our passions become one. Let our lust intertwine. Let our feelings complement each other.”

Almost there.

“Let your skin become my skin. Let your flesh become my flesh. Let your blood become my blood.”

Just a little.

“Let go of your form, but not of yourself. Let us become—”

Nothing.

Hatim opened his eyes to see Ben laying on the other side of the bed, slowly waking.

Damn it.

“Any new insights?” Hatim blew on his tea.

Ben was buried in one of his transformation theory books, not having touched his tea at all. The two had made this a recurring ritual. Every session they would come together to have a cup of tea before they attempted the merge.

As the two made next to no progress beyond the Second Gate, Ben had dug into researching the topic more deeply. He asked a couple former colleagues, but of course, Ben had done this professionally. There was exceedingly little he didn’t know already. He told Hatim that he was looking for things he missed, but really, he felt like he was on the verge of something more, a new theory on the merging process.

And, truth be told, at this point he was pretty emotionally invested. Hatim grew on him and he wanted him, them, to succeed.

Ben produced a long sigh. “No.” He did remember something a colleague told him a few hours ago. “But I did learn that soap apparently helps with the physical merge.”

“Soap? That’s random.”

Ben looked up at Hatim. If he had glasses on, he would have peered over the rim. “Not really. Lipids, the things that cell membranes are made of function similarly to soap molecules. They form bubbles. To simplify it a bit, a cell is kinda like a soap bubble.”

“Could that maybe help us?”

Ben went back to reading his book. “No. It needs to be ingested, which I don’t recommend. The finding is purely academic without practical use. The amount of soap you’d have to swallow would be moderately toxic. The physical merge is not a problem for us anyway. Soap would only really work for the First Gate.”

“Didn’t you say that you don’t fully subscribe to the Three Gates Theory.”

Ben jerked up from his book, feeling caught. “Well, as I said, it does line up very well with my own practical findings…”

“But?” Hatim pressed.

“I think that’s it.” Ben shrugged. “It lines up well. I think it’s a good way to talk about the process and give it structure. It’s much easier to say ‘First Gate’ than ‘the time we get merged physically, but not fully’. But it doesn’t really tell us anything new. It’s an observation, not an explanation, really.” He went back to his book.

“You don’t think the soul thing has merit?”

Ben looked up again, raising an eyebrow.

“I mean,” Hatim continued. “Not in the esoteric way. But when we merge our minds do as well, even if briefly. Maybe shared memories or interests help with that.”

“What do you propose?”

Hatim looked down at his tea. “I don’t know.”

Ben went back to his book and the room fell silent.

After a few minutes Hatim began to speak again. “Why did you decide to study dicking?”

Ben looked up, trying to mask his annoyance. A lot of people got this wrong. “I didn’t study dicking. I studied transformation with a focus on the dicking process.”

“Sorry. Doesn’t answer my question though.”

“I was always fascinated by transformation I guess.” Ben shrugged. “Why do people study things and then continue working in the field? Usually because they like at least an aspect of it.”

“Then why did you stop?”

Ben flinched internally. “It’s complicated.”

“So is the dicking process,” Hatim countered. “And I feel like I’m not too shabby at it.”

“Heh, fine.” Ben shoved his book away from him a bit. “I had a friend. A really good friend. We’ve known each other for… Since college. Went to the same university. We shared a room both times.”

Ben looked out the window. “He was my best bud. We did everything together. I was his best man at his wedding.” He smiled as he went through the memories.

“But?”

Ben looked at Hatim and then down at the table. “He wanted to get merged into his husband. And he wanted me to be the coach. Of course he did. Who else would you trust to guide you and your partner through the dicking process but your best bud?”

“So you did that?”

“Yes.”

Hatim looked at Ben as if expecting him to continue. “And then?”

“Nothing.” Ben was confused about Hatim’s reaction. “He turned into a cock. That’s it.”

“I don’t get why that made you stop.”

Ben blinked at Hatim in confusion. “I lost my best friend to the dicking process.”

“Lost?” Hatim frowned.

A few seconds passed before Hatim continued. “I had a friend once too, well, still do I guess, but the relationship cooled down a bit. We probably weren’t as close as you two, but we were friends.”

Hatim looked into his cup. “When I transitioned into, well, me, he didn’t take it that easily. He started to avoid me. He didn’t ghost me, he just made less eye contact, excused himself more often when we were together with friends. Nothing dramatic, but noticeable. One day, we were at a party. He was a bit drunk. I took him to the side to clear the air, asked him if everything was all right.”

Now it was Hatim’s turn to look out the window. “Turned out he had a massive crush on me. Well, before my transition. And afterwards he didn’t really know how to feel. He isn’t into men, but he still liked a part of me. He wanted to support me, but also felt grief, in a way. It was an emotional mess.”

“We’re still on good terms.” Hatim looked at his tea again. “Not gonna to ditch someone for not having figured out their emotions, or I’d be sitting in a massive lonely glass house. And he’s trying.”

“But there was one thing that stuck with me,” Hatim continued. “In his drunken haze, he had confessed that the reason he was feeling grief was because he felt that his crush was taken from him.”

Hatim looked at Ben. “That he had lost someone.”

Ben frowned. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry for me. The point that I’m trying to make here is that you didn’t lose your friend.” He put down his cup. “Your friend finally found himself.”

“How do you feel?” Ben panted.

Hatim throbbed in Ben’s grip. In his mind he had already become a cock at this point, which makes the failures to merge all the more confusing in the moments right after.

The familiar feeling of clarity washed over Hatim as Ben’s sensations rushed in. None of it was particularly new anymore so Hatim was able to ignore the feelings and focus on the transformation process.

His body felt good against Ben’s hands. He was still shrinking, his facial features disappearing. His veins were pulsing, as if struggling against Ben’s palms, yearning to break free.

When his physical transformation was complete he could feel the void again in the distance, rapidly coming closer. It grew, slowly engulfing his entire being.

And then there was… Weightlessness, for a moment that felt like ten.

He could see images forming, like a dream just out of reach, blurry and indefinite. Sound as well, like unintelligible muttering droning outside the window.

Then he saw the first image clearly, it was one of his friends, the one he mentioned to Ben. Then another image, this time it was Ben with another man sitting on the couch playing video games.

Another image, tears from his drunk friend.

Then a wedding he never attended.

Hatim standing in front of Ben’s door.

The images came quicker now, more clearly. They were rushing past like traffic, or a flip book.

It was working! Hatim strained against Ben’s grip in excitement, swelling with fluids. They were opening the last gate!

Although the images rapidly flitted past Hatim, they didn’t disappear. Rather, they lost their focus again and seemed to attach themselves to a growing mosaic all around him.

Ben was wrong. The Third Gate wasn’t emptiness because it was the end of the merging process. It was a canvas.

Normal couples must have never noticed because the images Hatim saw tended to be things the two had talked about or experienced together, but it wasn’t just a trip through memory lane. They were sharing memories, even if barely comprehensible.

As the canvas was filled up, Hatim realized the memories weren’t just attaching themselves to it. It wasn’t just a collection. They intertwined, similar memories from both men forming links with each other. It wasn’t a mosaic. It was a tapestry.

As they connected the memories gained another property: Emotional connection. Hatim could tell, if only rudimentary, what Ben felt with each memory. What surprised Hatim the most was that Ben cared, about the process, about Hatim. His stoic outer shell hid a man full of doubts. Hatim now realized he had done the same. Both men were much more alike than Hatim thought at first.

Upon this realization another pulse went through the tapestry. The strongest connections had snaked like veins along memories and emotions they both shared, primarily centered around their recent talk about their friends and the process in general, but now they branched out into other memories, pouring into the empty spaces. Understanding each other better allowed memories to latch onto those of the other, even if they hadn’t shared them.

As the last gaps were filled, Hatim wondered if all of it was simply his mind trying to make sense of the process or if this is really what happened. Regardless of what was true, he figured that this was what truly finalized the merging process. The weave of memories would prevent the merging from unraveling once the process was over.

Hatim watched the last memories taking their place. Despite long having left the First Gate, he felt the heat reappearing, He felt full. He felt ready to burst. In the distance he heard Ben say something, but he couldn’t make out what it was or if it was even directed at him.

Then the weave faded and all of his senses and feelings came rushing back at once. He was thrashing against Ben’s hands and he heard Ben moaning in staccato.

Something was filling him up at the base, rapidly rushing through his body. It was split seconds until it had traveled all the way through his shaft and into his cockhead.

He went through several pulses of pure bliss. Once they started to become weaker he saw a pool of white liquid in front of him. The bed looked gigantic, he could make out the fabric’s texture.

Hatim still felt one of Ben’s hands around him and despite his exhaustion he was too excited to want to lie down now.

Then he was lifted up and moved away from the bed. Seconds later Ben appeared in front of him.

No, it wasn’t Ben, it was his reflection in the mirror. One of his hands held his cock, a big red member with veins still bulging out at the sides.

Hatim was looking at himself. They did it! He did become a cock. He noticed that he was bigger than Ben’s original, though he looked the same otherwise.

Ben smiled down at Hatim through the reflection. “What do you think?”

Hatim was spent, but he still managed a single throb.

“Well, congratulations on your new life.” Ben was still panting. “Our new life.”

Ben double checked the address and the name on the doorbell before he rang.

After their successful merge, Ben didn’t go back into the coaching business proper, yet, but the merge did lead him down some new territory regarding transformation in general. He was poring over findings from others and comparing them to his own notes. The Three Gates Theory was a good foundation and made a lot of things make sense, though it needed some refinement.

All in all, Ben was quite busy, but not too busy to visit an old friend.

He heard the faint noise of someone peeking through the door’s spy hole. Seconds later it opened to reveal Ben’s best friend’s husband, the one Ben helped his friend get merged into.

“Ben!” The man opened his arms to draw Ben into a hug. “Long time no see, how have you been?”

Ben rubbed the back of his neck. “Good, I guess.”

“What brings you here?”

“Umm.” Ben looked down at the man’s crotch. It wasn’t exactly rude to look at someone’s crotch if their crotch or a part of it was a person. “I thought, maybe… Does he want to hang out?”

The man laughed and only now Ben realized the unintentional pun. “Of course.” He stepped to the side to let Ben in. “You know, he’s been missing you.”

Ben smiled in equal parts guilt and relief—and entered the door.

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