Always sunny

by Cockatrice   

With little to look forward to in life, Ray decides to sign up for a research program and university scholarship that will change his life.

March

Ray was fidgeting with the slider of his jacket’s zipper. He looked down the empty hall. One hour after class started, the building was largely empty, especially in the administration section of the university. He was here to apply for a scholarship but the nature of the scholarship made him nervous and the fact that he was all alone made it somehow worse, as if he was the only person in the world who would even consider such an offer.

Finally, the door opened to reveal a man. “Raymond Dawson?”

Ray nodded and got up.

The man smiled and shook Ray’s hand. “Glad to finally meet you in person.” He gestured for Ray to come inside. “Please, have a seat.”

The inside looked like an office. In front of the desk was a single chair, likely for Ray, while at the side of the desk there was another chair, with a woman sitting on it. When Ray approached, she got up to shake his hand and introduce herself. “Ms Beck.”

The man closed the door and sat down behind the desk to join Ray and Ms Beck. “Thank you for coming. I’m Carlos Morales, vice principal of Solberg University and supervisor of the Daedalus Project. We briefly talked via mail.” He gestured to the woman next to him. “And this is Melissa Beck. She is the project’s counselor.”

Ray didn’t know what to say, so he just nodded.

“Before we go into details,” Mr Morales continued, “I would like to ask you how much you already know about the Daedalus Project.”

“Well,” Ray began, “it’s like a science experiment, I guess? Increases physical and mental abilities, but… People turn into inanimate objects after some time.”

“Yes, that’s about the gist of it. But it’s less of a science experiment and more of a long term research project.” Mr Morales pulled out a folder, presenting the different files inside one by one. “We have found a solution to, as you said, increase the physical and mental abilities of the person undergoing the treatment.”

He pointed at a paper that displayed multiple people with a before and after image for each. The image before the procedure showed a regular man, usually on the thin or chubby side while the image after the procedure showed an athletic-looking man in peak body condition with a wide neck, broad chest, and strong legs and arms, someone who wouldn’t at all look out of place on a man’s health magazine cover. Next to the images were scores of various cognitive or mental tests the people took. The scores after the procedure were always near perfect, while the scores before were often all over the place.

“The discovery of this solution was more or less an accident, meaning there are, unfortunately, plenty of gaps in our knowledge,” Mr Morales continued, his voice suddenly more somber than before. “This project has two main purposes. One is to study the process in more detail, testing your physical and mental abilities. For that reason, part of your curriculum will be dictated by the project and may change depending on certain events, such as sports competitions. Most do not allow participants of the Daedalus Project to join, but we are in negotiations with several of them. That will make up roughly half of your subjects. The other half you can choose freely.”

Ray looked up at Mr Morales. “And the second purpose?”

“The second is to find ways to, well, get rid of the side effects.”

“To turn people into superhumans?” Ray asked while looking at the bodies of the men after the procedure.

Mr Morales took a sharp breath. “Well, yes. The solution puts the person into peak condition, which also means that certain health defects are being cured. Imagine a world where people can be at their best, physically and mentally, through a simple injection. That is what we are researching.”

“Would it be available to everyone?”

“The solution is surprisingly cheap to produce. If it was up to me, I’d be giving it out for free.” There was again the somber tone in Mr Morales’ voice. “But first we’ll have to… iron out the kinks, so to speak.”

“I see.”

“Speaking of which,” Mr Morales continued, pointing at a timeline. “About the side effects. There will be one injection at the start of the first year. This injection will trigger the physical and mental transformation. We do have an antidote to stop the decay, but we cannot give it right away.”

“Decay?”

“That is what the process of turning into an object is called,” Mr Morales clarified. “The agent that starts the process begins to decay after a few weeks or months. This decay then leads to the inanimate transformation. The antidote stabilizes this agent, which is why it stops the decay without reverting the physical and mental changes. Unfortunately, it takes almost exactly 48 months for the agent to metabolize into a state to accept the antidote, which is why the scholarship is four years.”

“Is it possible, then, to avoid turning into an object?”

“Theoretically, yes.”

“We have had 58 students joining the project and whose scholarships have already concluded,” Ms Beck chimed in. “Out of those, only three managed to receive the antidote.”

“So, about one in twenty,” Mr Morales added.

“The chance is too low to gamble on it,” Ms Beck said. “When you make a decision, treat the decay as a foregone conclusion. Otherwise, there is a very high chance of regret.”

Ray nodded and thought for a moment. “What kind of objects do the people turn into?”

Mr Morales turned around to pull a ring binder from a shelf and opened it. Inside were pages with photos of both men smiling at the camera as well as an object for each face, side by side. Each entry had a name, a start date and a date labeled ‘PTO Admission’.

“There’s a lot of variety, and we haven’t yet had the same transformation happen twice,” Mr Morales explained as he began flipping through the book. “Even if it was the same object, details such as color or style were different. In general, all objects were somewhere between the size of a shoe or medium-sized furniture, such as a pool table. None of the transformations so far were into objects containing electronics. Weapons, such as guns or blades have also been absent. Other than that, it seems like everything’s fair game. Transformations can either be into a single item or into a set, such as multiple pieces of clothing.”

Suddenly a face appeared in the book that didn’t have an object next to it. Ray pointed at it. “What about that one?”

“That’s Terry.” Mr Morales paused for a second, looking at the image. “He was the first to receive the antidote.”

A shiver ran down Ray’s back. He knew that all these people in the book were now objects, but seeing Terry and imagining him still being around out there brought the fact of all these other people being items lying around on a shelf or in a locker, closer to reality.

“Are there any natural objects? A rock?” Ray asked.

“No. Everything so far has been a manufactured item.”

Ray looked at a guy turned into a shoe. “I don’t recognize these brands.”

“Neither do we,” Mr Morales had to admit. “None of the brands we have encountered exist and we have not yet had any brands repeat.”

“Where do they come from then?”

Mr Morales shrugged. “As I said, discovering the solution was an accident. Learning more about it is also part of the Daedalus Project.”

“What does PTO mean?”

“Person Turned Object. That is our term for people who have fully decayed. The PTO admission date is when they have completed their decay and have been officially pronounced object.”

“Can they still talk?”

“Yes, although not without help,” Mr Morales explained. “We have a special facility on-site that allows them to communicate. We do have regular check-ups, once every six months, but outside of those appointments they are virtually indistinguishable from a non-human object to an outside observer.”

There was a short silence as Ray let the information sink in.

“Any other questions regarding the decay?” Mr Morales asked.

Ray shook his head. “No.”

“Then there is one more thing.” Mr Morales folded his hands together. “The decay is the most well-known side effect, but there is a second one as well, one that happens together with the initial changes.”

“Oh?”

Mr Morales took a deep breath. “Every participant had their sexual orientation changed to men.”

Ray paused. “I would be turning gay?”

Mr Morales nodded.

“... Why?”

“As I said before, these are the types of questions this project hopes to answer eventually.”

Ray felt strange. He hadn’t made a decision yet, but so far he felt like he might have signed up. This new detail however made him reconsider. He didn’t know whether it was the fact that it was a new piece of information he couldn’t emotionally prepare for, or the fact that a change to his sexuality would be a fundamental change to him as a person.

But then again, was it? Would he be someone else, just because he enjoyed looking at another gender?

Ms Beck pulled him out of his thoughts. “May I ask you a question?”

“Yes.”

“You already knew about the decay. Why are you interested in joining the project?”

Ray swallowed and started fidgeting again. “I… Life’s not been very… I feel like I can’t get anywhere. Bad grades. No friends.” He looked to the side. “I have nothing to lose and I would like to be someone at least for a while.”

“I see.” Ms Beck’s voice was warm and understanding. “We know this is a lot to take in. You do not have to make a decision right now. Sleep it over. Talk to your parents. Do some soul-searching. I don’t want to make the scholarship look unattractive.” She looked over to Mr Morales. “But we understand that this is the end of the line for our participants, at least until the process can be reversed, if it can ever be. You have some time to look into alternative solutions to the challenges you face.” “She smiled. “And if you decide that this is still your best shot, you can come back to us.”

“How many spots do you have?”

“We don’t have a hard limit,” Mr Morales answered. “Currently we have 11 spots left among the dorms we have set aside for the Daedalus Project, but we can always make room.”

“Until when do I have to decide?”

“You have time until the new semester starts, which is on the 5th of August, so you have more than two months.”

“I see.” Ray realized this would give him plenty of time to think it over.

“Any further questions?”

Ray thought for a moment and then shook his head.

“Then thank you for your time today.” Mr Morales stood up and shook Ray’s hand. “I will send you some more information material via mail to help you decide. And uhm… Maybe I’ll hear back from you.”

“Yeah…”

August

“And with that, I wish everyone a great start into the new semester!” Ms Fairfield, the head principal of Solberg University, finished her speech.

Ray was seated in the main assembly hall, an auditorium large enough to provide room for at least a few hundred people, enough for all the students of the university and the teachers. Apparently this was a recurring thing. At the beginning of each semester, the principal would give an overview over what happened in the last six months and about upcoming events and changes in the next six.

Ray felt a little bit out of place, like he didn’t belong. He wasn’t university material and the only reason he was here was to serve as a guinea pig for their research project.

He looked around him at the other guys who also joined the project. They were all seated together and he counted 10, including himself. Everyone was pretty much the same age as far as Ray could tell, somewhere between 19 to early twenties.

As Ms Fairfield walked off stage and most students began getting up, Mr Morales quickly grabbed the mic. “As always, I would like the members of the Daedalus Project to remain seated. Everyone else, have a nice day.”

As the other students trickled out one by one, Ray felt his nervousness increasing. By remaining seated, people knew he was going to be one of those guys, not a proper student. Now there was no blending in with the crowd. He didn’t look up, but he imagined their eyes on him.

Eventually, the hall almost emptied, except for a handful of people, a bit more than two dozen. Apart from some of the staff, all of them were men, and all of those except for the freshmen looked like they spent every free minute at the gym.

The other guys next to him looked at each other. Now they knew who was part of the project for sure.

“Now, there is not much to say about the last six months,” Mr Morales continued, now flanked by three more members of the staff. Ray recognized Ms Beck, but there were two more men he didn’t know. “We are making steady progress, but of course, the finish line is still a ways off. Now, as it is the new start of the year, we have a few new faces.” He gestured towards the back row where Ray and the others sat. “Welcome to the Daedalus Project.”

Suddenly everyone turned around to face the ten young men. The facial expressions ranged from welcoming smiles to curiosity. Ray felt put on the spot and was glad when everyone turned around again as Mr Morales continued.

“Okay, let’s introduce the people you’ll be working with.” He gestured one by one to each of the others next to him. “You already know Ms Beck, who will be your counselor. You will have regular checkups with her, so we know how you’re doing.”

“If you need any help, no matter what it is,” Ms Beck chimed in. “You can always come to me.”

“Then next we have Mr Lou, who is head of research. You will have one regular class with him where you go over the latest findings of the Daedalus Project. Mr Lou will also take monthly blood samples to monitor the agent’s progress in your body.”

Mr Lou nodded to the audience.

Finally, Mr Morales turned to the last person. “And this is Mr McCarthy. He is your physical trainer, preparing you for the various sports competitions.”

“You can call me coach,” Mr McCarthy said.

“And that’s pretty much everyone you need to know,” Mr Morales finished. “You will naturally have various teachers for your regular classes, but they are not part of the Daedalus Project. Any questions?”

Silence.

“Then let’s move on to your fellow students. Each of you will share a dorm with a junior or sophomore, who we hope will become your guide to life in the Daedalus Project. Additionally, you will have a mentor for your first weeks.” Mr Morales motioned to three people in the front row. “If you would be so kind?”

The three men stood up and joined the vice principal on the stage. One of them was dressed in baseball catcher gear, complete with pads, helmet and even glove; pants and button-up shirt awkwardly worn above the armor.

“These are our remaining seniors: Liam, Austin and Shawn.” Mr Morales turned to address Ray and the other new guys again. “Each of you will be assigned one mentor, who will introduce you to the campus and be your guide for the first few days.” He turned to the seniors again. “You guys take it from here?” The men nodded and Mr Morales turned to the freshmen. “Today your mentors will show you around and answer any questions you have. You will even have the opportunity to talk to one of our students who has already completed his decay. Then you have a night to sleep on it and tomorrow you will receive your injections. Any further questions?”

Again, silence.

“Then let me officially welcome you to Solberg University and the Daedalus Project.”

With that, Mr Morales and the rest of the staff left the stage. Most of the juniors and sophomores began to get up too.

The senior dressed in baseball gear approached the mic with a paper in hand. “Hey, I’m Liam and I’m the mentor for Pablo, Fabian, Julio, and Christopher. Please come to me, thanks.”

Four of the freshmen stood up and made their way to join Liam.

Then the next senior spoke into the mic. “Hi, I’m Austin and my assigned freshmen are Victor, Yeong, and Kenneth.”

More of the freshmen stood up. Now only Ray and two others remained.

Then it was the third senior’s turn. “I’m Shawn. Umm, Raymond, Marc, and Gavin, please come to me.”

Raymond got up and walked to his assigned senior together with the other two.

“Nervous?” Shawn asked the three freshmen.

Nobody said anything, but the three nodded. Ray looked up at the muscled frame of Shawn. Was he taller too? Would the solution grow them in size as well?

“I think we all were,” Shawn laughed. “Anyway, ready for your first day on campus?”

Ray made eye contact with the others. Nobody looked excited, but he could see the relief in their eyes, the same relief he felt right now: At least he wasn’t in this alone.

“So, first thing we’ll go to the dorms, so you can drop off your stuff there,” Shawn said as the ten freshmen and their mentors walked. “After that we’ll split up. Liam, you wanted to go to the main building first?”

“Sure.”

Shawn looked at the remaining senior. “Austin?”

“Doesn’t make a difference. Dormitory?”

“All right then.” Shawn turned to Ray and the other two in his group. “That means we’ll cover the outside first, check out the lake. Then we’ll rotate. And at the end we’ll all meet back here at the dorms.”

“And after that,” Liam began. “You’re going to meet one of the post seniors.”

“Post seniors?” One of the freshmen asked. “You mean, someone who made it?”

“Made it?” Liam looked at the freshman. “Christopher, right?”

“Chris, please.”

“Chris, don’t go into this project hoping you’ll be the one. That’s the wrong mindset. There hasn’t been a single student who received the antidote since we started here as freshmen. Everyone here went through the decay and has earned our respect. Everyone here ‘made it’.”

“I was told the chances are 1 in 20,” another freshman spoke up. Yeong, if Ray remembered correctly.

“Technically they are,” Austin said. “But over the course of the whole project. The first version of the agent was more volatile. The chances of the decay not triggering until the person receives the antidote was much higher, around 1 in 7, but on the other hand for those who did decay, it started within weeks after the injection.”

“Wait, they made it worse?” Yeong seemed angry. “Instead of giving people a chance to receive the antidote they took it away from everyone?”

“It’s a trade-off,” Shawn explained. “The ultimate goal is for everyone to receive the antidote. For that purpose they are trying to stabilize the agent, make it last long enough so the decay doesn’t happen. The increased stability comes at a reduced lifetime.”

“Current strategy is to stabilize the agent until the point of decay becomes predictable,” Liam added. “Then, once the agent is fully stable, they will work on extending its lifetime.”

“So we’re just fodder for the meat grinder,” Yeong continued.

“No,” Liam countered. “You’re willing participants who know the risks.”

“Then why did they lie about the odds?”

“I assume it wasn’t intentional,” Shawn said. “Mr Morales is very open about the project and actively refused testing on prisoners, although the government has offered.”

“Yikes,” Chris said.

“Yikes indeed,” Shawn shrugged. “We’re all here voluntarily and not because we got pressured into it or blackmailed with the promise of freedom. Mr Morales and Ms Beck are very much on our side here. I assume they didn’t think what they said got interpreted in that way.”

There was a short silence.

“Liam?” Marc asked. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Why are you wearing baseball armor under your clothes?”

Liam let out an amused sigh. “I’m not wearing armor. I’m becoming it.” He pulled up his shirt to reveal the front padding on his torso. “I’m turning into catcher gear.” He gestured over his entire body. “Pads, shoes, helmet.” He waved. “Glove.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. As far as decay goes, this isn’t the worst.” Liam thought for a moment. “Except for the helmet. Nights are a pain.”

“And here we are,” Shawn interrupted as the group entered the dormitory building. A big glass facade let light into the interior. The upper floor did not extend all the way to the front side of the building, leaving a two storied empty space filled with seating areas between the dorms and the facade, like a lobby of sorts. The walkways on the second floor made the entire area almost look like a vacation resort. “Dorms are on the second floor. Ground floor is all lounge, lobby, showers and stuff.”

The group made its way up the stairs to the second floor. “All right, let’s meet here again in ten minutes.” Shawn and the other mentors pulled out some cards. “These are your keycards for the dorms.”

The mentors passed down the keycards to every freshman. Ray received #102 and walked to his room.

When he opened the door he found a guy lying on one of the beds, seemingly waiting. “Hey there.” He jumped up from the bed, his muscular frame towering over Ray. He extended a hand. “You my new roomie?”

“Yeah.” Ray shook his hand. “I’m Ray.”

“I’m Nickolas. Call me Nick.” He let himself fall back down onto his bed with a relaxed sigh.

“What year are you?”

“Junior.”

Ray knelt down in front of the closet to unpack his stuff. “You don’t have class?”

“Not today,” Nick replied. “Mondays are always Daedalus classes with Mr Lou, but we skip them on the first day of each year because the mentors are busy with the freshmen.”

Ray stuffed his clothes into an empty drawer. “Ahh.”

“Man, you brought a lot of clothes.”

“Just two weeks’ worth.”

“I mean…” Nick began. “You’re gonna throw most of that out in a couple days anyway.”

Ray turned around. “Why?” Then he saw Nick’s tall, muscled frame and realized. “Oh… yeah.”

“Don’t worry, bro,” Nick laughed. “We all made that mistake.”

Ray didn’t say anything.

“So,” Nick smirked. “Already pumped?”

It took Ray a few seconds to reply. “I don’t know, to be honest.”

“Worried about the whole decay thing?”

“That too, I guess?”

“What else is there?”

Ray shrugged. The part about turning into an object seemed so distant and abstract, but a change to his sexuality? He didn’t know how to breach that topic without making it awkward. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

Ray paused and looked at Nick. “Why did you choose to join the project?”

Nick smiled with a squint. He expected that answer, it seemed. “Why did any of us?” He shrugged. “No perspective, no future, nothing to look forward to. I figured I get to have the body of my dreams for a few months and then I’m back to where I started, just in a different shape.”

Ray returned his attention to the closet.

“You?” Nick asked.

“Same, really.”

“See? It’s pretty much the reason for most of us.”

Ray turned to face Nick. “Any regrets?”

“Nope.”

“How many of your friends have already…”

“Decayed? Four from my freshman group. My mentor. My first roommate. Several of the others.”

“Does it get easier with time?”

“Easier?” Nick leaned back. “You need to stop thinking about it in that way. Accept it as something that happens, as something you signed up for. We’ve started to throw parties whenever someone starts to decay, like it’s some form of accomplishment.” He looked Ray in the eyes. “Ask yourself: Did you sign up because you wanted to become a superhuman or did you sign up because you wanted to escape your shitty life?”

“And this is what we call the Beyond,” the janitor explained as he led the freshmen and their mentors into the basement of the main campus building.

They found themselves now in a somewhat wide hallway. Near the entry on the left was a double steel door with a keypad next to it to enter a code. On the right side was a single door, also with a keypad. Further in, towards the end of the hall was a big glass window on the right, as well as a third double door right next to the window.

“This is where people who have gone through their decay are stored,” the janitor continued. “And this is also where we can talk to them.”

“Stored?” Ray asked.

The janitor pointed to the double door on the left. “That’s the vault. With some exceptions, everyone who completes their decay moves in there.”

Yeong furrowed his brow, looking at the heavy steel doors. “Looks like a prison.”

“It’s not a prison,” the janitor countered. “Before we had this security, some of the students got stolen.”

“Did they get them back?” Gavin’s face was pale.

“Oh yes, don’t worry. Luckily it was just done as a prank, so they were quickly returned,” the janitor said. “But… the kidnapped students didn’t think it was funny and the incidents made us implement proper security as a result.”

“I know it looks bad,” Shawn chimed in. “But it’s for your own good…” He thought for a moment. “As authoritarian as that sounds. And you may have the option to be placed in a more public area if you’re too big to be stolen, or being sent to your family.”

“I can let you in, if you want,” the janitor offered.

“Sure,” Shawn agreed.

The janitor swiped his keycard through the lock and opened the doors, letting the group inside. “There you go. This is the vault.”

While the mentors walked inside as if they had been there several times, the freshmen all formed a clump at the entrance, hesitant to enter.

Ray looked around. It wasn’t like he imagined. He expected a dark ugly place with concrete and metal shelves everywhere, like a storage tends to look like, but instead it was well-lit with warm light. The walls had proper wallpaper and there was even a carpet on the floor. If it weren’t for the lack of furniture this might have looked like a hallway of someone’s home.

Although, technically speaking, there was furniture: Racks and shelves filled the room. Each one had different objects on display. Ray looked at a speedo next to him in more detail. He couldn’t see any hint that it used to be human. Anatomically speaking it was a piece of swimwear and virtually indistinguishable from a non-human object. However, a card, like a student ID card, was attached to it via a plastic string. Ray couldn’t make out what most of the card said from his vantage point, but a big bold text on the bottom spelled ‘Person Turned Object DO NOT REMOVE’.

“Didn’t you say they can talk?” Kenneth asked.

“Not without help,” Shawn replied. “We have to use the communications room on the other side for that.”

“But…” Pablo spoke up. “Can they hear us?”

“They have touch, sight and hearing,” Shawn explained. “But no smell and taste. And no vertigo either. So yeah, they can pretty much see and hear you.”

By now most freshmen had entered the vault proper. Ray only saw Gavin and Yeong standing at the entrance.

He returned his attention back to the items on the shelves. It was difficult to imagine these were people, but Ray forced himself. His eyes fell onto a football. The name tag identified it as a student called Connor.

This was going to be his future, wasn’t it? First spend a couple months as a beefed up jock and then…

His hand absentmindedly reached out to touch the football on display.

“No touching,” Came the janitor’s voice.

Ray recoiled his hand as if he had burned himself on a stove. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t-”

“No harm done,” the janitor continued. “Just remember, don’t touch a PTO unless you’ve got explicit consent.”

“Truth be told, Connor probably wouldn’t even mind,” Shawn told Ray. “We often use him for practice, but yeah, what he said.”

The janitor let the students look around for one more minute before he spoke up again. “So, ready to actually talk to one of them?”

Shawn looked around at everyone. “I think so, yeah.”

“Then let’s go.” The janitor waited until everyone was outside and then closed the door again.

While the mentors guided the freshmen to the window at the end of the hallway, the janitor entered the small room opposite of the vault.

On the other side of the window was a featureless room with a concrete pedestal in the middle and a skateboard resting on top of it. On the right side of the room was another window to the small room with the janitor. From what Ray could tell it had technical equipment in it like servers and control panels. On the other side of the room, on the left, was a garage-like gate, no doubt connecting to the double door next to the window. That was likely how one entered the room. Ray noticed a radiation hazard sign right above the double door.

“So this skateboard right there?” Shawn pointed into the room. “This is Hunter, one of the guys who started together with us.”

“Why is he in a special room?” Ray wanted to know.

“PTOs cannot really talk like humans do,” Shawn explained. “Instead they send out something similar to brain waves. Unfortunately, in order to pick up these brain waves, they need to be surrounded by a special type of radiation that’s harmful to living matter.”

“Deadly radiation?” Yeong blurted out. “How does one even discover something like that?”

“Research?” Shawn shrugged. “We can detect the brain waves just fine with regular equipment, but in order to isolate it from the background noise, you need to increase the amplitude by applying a same frequency—”

“It’s ready.” The voice of the janitor coming from the loudspeakers interrupted Shawn’s explanation. A light lit up above the window.

“I’m sure you’ll cover it in Mr Lou’s classes.” Shawn turned to the window. “Hey Hunter.”

A voice different from the janitor’s sounded from the loudspeakers. “Hey. Those the new guys?” To Ray’s surprise, it didn’t sound robotic or monotonous at all, more like a person speaking into a microphone.

“Yup, we got ten this time.”

“Nice.”

“So, Hunter,” Shawn continued. “How’s life?”

“Ah, you know, the usual. Sitting on a shelf, twiddling thumbs, uh metaphorically speaking of course, and waiting until something happens, heh.”

Shawn leaned against the window and looked at the freshmen. “You make it sound so boring.”

“Yeah well, it’s not the most exciting life, I guess, but you know, it’s not the worst either.” There was a short pause. “Oh! Forgot to mention that PTOs experience boredom a little bit differently. You can kinda zone out, I guess? You’re not getting bored out of your mind sitting here, don’t worry.”

“Wow, what a relief…” Ray heard Yeong say to himself. If either Hunter or one of the mentors heard him, they didn’t show it.

“Yeah, that’s what I was getting at,” Shawn continued. “Don’t wanna scare our freshmen, do we?”

“Guess not!”

Ray could swear he heard something like amusement in Hunter’s voice. It definitely wasn’t like a simple text-to-speech program.

“All right then.” Shawn looked at the freshmen one by one. “If you have any questions for Hunter, ask them now. This whole setup is pretty expensive so usually a PTO is only brought here once each semester for checkup.”

Fabian raised his hand and Shawn nodded for him to ask his question. “What does it feel like…” Fabian gestured with his hands. “Being an object?”

“Well, as I said, it’s largely uneventful,” Hunter replied. “There’s not much to say. It’s pretty mundane all things considered. You just sit on a shelf. That’s it. And occasionally, someone takes you out for a skating sesh.”

“And what is it like to, uh, change?” Fabian dug deeper.

Ray saw Liam, who stood a bit to the side look up into the distance upon hearing the question. “Decay.” He murmured his correction.

“Real talk? You go through a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, heh,” Hunter explained, seemingly not having heard Liam’s comment. “Denial, anger, bargaining, acceptance. It’s different for everyone though, but it’s going to be a journey.”

“Do you have any advice?” Shawn asked. Ray couldn’t tell from his tone whether he was asking for the freshmen or himself.

“Aim for acceptance.” Hunter’s voice produced a laugh. “But seriously, when it happens you can’t change it. You can yell at the clouds as much as you want, but ultimately the faster you work through your emotions the more you get out of your remaining time as a human.”

Nobody said anything.

“That was quite the bomb, wasn’t it?”

“They need to hear it though,” Shawn commented.

Marc was next to ask a question. “Why did you choose to stay here?”

“As opposed to?” Hunter sounded confused.

Marc looked at Shawn. “Well, Shawn said that people also have the choice to go to their family.”

“Those are exceptions,” Shawn took over. “The faculty wants PTOs to stay on-site for research purposes. Occasionally an agreement can be made to send them to their family, either temporarily or permanently, but it doesn’t happen a lot.”

“And, to be honest, I kinda prefer being here,” Hunter added. “Got all my bros here and we all went through the same shit. Feel like my family would be taking this much differently.”

In the resulting silence, Ray raised his hand. “I have a question.”

Shawn nodded for him to go ahead.

Ray looked at Hunter while he chose his words carefully. “Are you happy with your decision?”

There was no answer at first and Roy was worried that there was a technical issue, but then Hunter’s voice sounded from the loudspeakers. “Honestly, I don’t know. It’s hard to say. Happy… Is anyone happy? I don’t regret my choice if that’s what you mean. Can’t turn back time. Acceptance also means that you have to accept your past decisions, be they mistakes or not.” Another short silence. “I made friends here. I was happy with my body for the first time in my life. I would be inclined to say for these things alone it was worth it.”

There was a moment of silence as the words sunk in.

“Any… other questions?” Shawn asked into the round.

Nobody said anything.

“Then, thanks, Hunter.”

“No problem!” Hunter replied. “See you around.”

“We will.” Shawn pulled out his phone, presumably checking the time. “All right, how about lunch?”

“Sounds good,” Austin confirmed.

“Mind if I join you guys later?” Liam asked. “I wanted to talk to Hunter.”

“Sure thing.” Shawn turned to the freshmen. “Everyone else, let’s go.”

“Okay, who’s up for a round of pool?” Shawn asked as the group entered the lounge.

“Does that mean the tour is over?” Gavin asked.

“Well, kinda, I guess.”

“I would like to leave then.” Gavin half turned around. “Explore the area a bit.”

“You can do that afterwards,” Shawn offered. “Come on, I wanna take your mind off things for a bit, get to know you.”

Gavin rolled his eyes but walked back towards the group.

“Last stop for today, I promise.” Shawn pulled out the triangle rack for the pool table. “Okay, we’re three teams, each mentor and their assigned freshmen. And we’ll play three games, each team combination once.” He looked at the other seniors. “Who’s first?”

Liam waved him off. “You two can go first.”

“All right.” Shawn finished preparing the table and grabbed a billiard cue. “Austin, your team can begin.”

“Let’s go in reverse alphabetical order.” Austin thought for a moment. “That means the first turn is Yeong.”

Yeong went and did the break shot without sinking any balls.

“We’ll go in alphabetical order.” Shawn nodded to Gavin. “You’re up.”

Gavin did not sink a ball either. It took two more turns until Marc sank a solid ball.

“May I ask a question?” Kenneth spoke up when it was his turn.

Shawn leaned on his cue. “Sure, that’s why we’re here.”

“Why did you guys sign up?”

“Well… It’s the same refrain over and over again, isn’t it?” Shawn said. “No perspective. No friends. No love life.” He shrugged. “I was a loser.”

“Same,” Liam added.

“Now we’re still losers at heart,” Austin commented. “But with muscles.”

Shawn shot his fellow senior a look. “Austin.”

“I’m just kidding.”

“It’s the story for most.” Shawn looked around the group. “Hands up, for whom is this not the reason why they signed up?”

Ray scanned the group. Most of his fellow freshmen looked away, uncomfortable with themselves.

Marc raised his hand.

Shawn nodded towards him. “What’s your reason?”

Marc swallowed. “Myotonic dystrophy.” When there was no reaction, he continued. “It’s a genetic disease that causes muscle atrophy. Starts in your twenties.” His nails idly scratched over the cue stick. “Morales said the solution should cure it.”

“Shit, man,” was all Shawn could say. “Sorry dude.”

Marc just shrugged. “It’s fine. If this project didn’t exist, I’d have to live with it for the rest of my life. This way I’m getting a cure regardless of whether I get the antidote or not.”

“I guess the decision was easy for you then,” Austin mused. “You win either way.”

“You can put it that way, yeah.”

“Wow,” Shawn shook his head. “Wanted to take your mind off things and we went deeper down the rabbit hole.” He looked around the freshmen. “Don’t worry though. It’s just the first few days like this. Things’ll look brighter once you get to enjoy your new bodies.”

By now it was Shawn’s turn. “Oh, by the way, there’s one thing I forgot to tell you.” He took his shot and knocked on the pool table afterwards. “Say hello to Isaiah.”

There was no reaction in the first few seconds. The freshmen were processing what Shawn was alluding to.

When the penny finally dropped, Victor, who was standing close to the table, almost dropped his cue as he was stepping back in shock.

“That’s a person?!” Yeong asked.

Shawn pulled out the little card from the table’s ball compartment where he hid it at the beginning. “A PTO, yes.”

“He was a junior when we joined,” Liam added. “Went through the decay in the same year.”

Ray furrowed his brow. “I thought we’re not supposed to touch them without their consent.”

“When they’re in the vault, yes,” Shawn explained. “But if a PTO wants to be placed in a public area, then they automatically consent to being used.” He shrugged. “Otherwise, what’s the point?”

“Isaiah specifically wanted to be placed here so that people could play with him,” Liam clarified. “In fact, we didn’t have a pool table before him and he liked the idea of adding something new to the lounge.”

“Did you keep us here only so we can meet Isaiah?” Gavin asked.

“Guilty,” Shawn admitted. “But yes, I wanted you to meet a PTO outside of the vault or the communication chamber. Not all of us can be put in a public area, but if you’re a big enough object so you won’t get stolen, then you may consider this as an alternative.”

“What about vandalism?” Julio asked.

“It’s a concern.” Liam pointed at a surveillance camera in the corner of the room. “But all of our public PTOs are being monitored.”

Shawn let the freshmen process the new information before he continued. “Yeong, I think it’s your turn again.”

“What’s with the weird ass bars in there anyway?” Ray asked as he exited the bathroom.

Ray let himself fall onto his bed. Today was pretty exhausting, physically and mentally. They walked nearly the entire day and were bombarded with tough philosophical questions non-stop. Now it was evening and both he and his roommate were hanging out in their dorm.

“Can’t even put towels on it because they’re angled,” Ray continued.

“Accessibility,” Nick replied without looking up from the book he was reading.

“Mmh?”

Nick put the book down. “Our dorms are part of the wing for students with impaired mobility.” He gestured with his free hand. “Because, you know, you might need it depending on what object you turn into.” He moved his book back up in front of his face. “Means our dorms are more spacious though. Pretty sick if you ask me.”

Ray looked around. It was true. The room was larger than he would have expected from a dorm. “Why is it not on the ground floor though? Stairs aren’t very accessibility friendly.”

“The ground floor is all public area. Guess they wanted to give the students with disabilities as much privacy as everyone else. Also, there’s an elevator in the back.”

“Mmh.” Ray’s eyes fell onto the book in Nick’s hand. “What are you reading?”

Nick moved the book aside to look at Ray. “Quantum chromodynamics.”

“What’s that?”

“Do you know what quarks and gluons are?”

Ray had heard the words before, but didn’t really know what they were. “Not really.”

“Mmh…” Nick thought for a moment. “The strong nuclear force?”

“No…”

“Well… I don’t think I can explain it easily then.” He moved the book back in front of his face. “It’s like seven layers deep into theoretical physics.”

“Wow, is it for class?”

“Not really. It’s part of my theoretical physics class, but we’re not going to go into it until the last semester.”

“Why are you reading it then?”

“Idle curiosity?” Nick shrugged. “I’m reading forward a bit. I guess I’m curious and I’m not sure if I’ll even see the last semester or if I decay before that.”

“Mmh.”

Ray lay down on his bed and pulled out his phone. In the last weeks he started to check out his dating app more frequently. Maybe it was his subconscious trying desperately to find a reason not to get the injection. Maybe if he could get a girlfriend he would be happy and he wouldn’t need any of this.

He began swiping through the women he was being matched with. Half of them he swiped away because he wasn’t interested. The other half he felt too intimidated to message.

But every shot not taken is a shot missed, right? Ray decided to be brave and messaged the first woman he thought had a nice profile.

‘Hey.’

He waited for a couple seconds for a reply. Then a message appeared.

‘You have been blocked.’

Ray’s heart dropped as he stared at the message. After some seconds the phone display went dark.

Maybe it shouldn’t have been a surprise, he thought as he started into his own reflection. Who would want to be with such a loser?

He looked over to Nick’s muscled body, the book on theoretical physics in his hand. How could he ever compete with someone like that naturally? The Daedalus Project was his only choice.

“Nick?” Ray began. “May I ask you a question?”

Nick lowered his book with a shocked expression. “Another one?!” His face softened. “Just kidding, bro, go ahead.”

“Uh…” Ray put his phone away. “What’s it like, being gay?”

Nick looked to the side, seemingly amused. Eventually he returned his gaze to Ray. “Wanna hear something funny?”

“Sure?”

“It’s the thing that’s on every freshman’s mind, even more than the decay. I was no different.” His face went serious. “Until your first friends start to decay. Then you think back and wonder why you ever thought being gay was such a big deal.”

Nick put the book away and folded his arms behind his head, the smirk returning to his face. “Besides, dating guys is so much easier and gay sex so much hotter.”

“Very well.” Mr Lou looked up from his notebook as he stood in the doorway. “Everyone here?”

Ray looked around. He and the other freshman had their appointment to get the injection early in the morning so that they could attend classes afterwards. They were waiting in front of the on-site infirmary.

“All right,” Mr Lou continued after he went through the list. “Just so you know, you still have the chance to back out. There is no shame in walking away now. Once you get your injection, it’s too late.”

Everyone looked at each other.

“Then-” He moved aside to free the way into the room where the injection was going to take place. “Step inside and take a seat.”

Ray and the others slowly got up and did as they were told. Mr Lou closed the door behind them and two other nurses were getting to work on the first two freshmen.

“Before you receive your injection, we will take a blood sample,” Mr Lou continued. “We will continue to take regular blood samples to monitor the progress of the agent and to analyze potential changes to your body chemistry from the solution. In the first month, please be here on Tuesday and Friday mornings. Afterwards you just need to be here on the first Tuesday of each month.”

The nurses quickly took blood samples from each student and labeled the vials as Mr Lou continued talking.

“The changes, both physical and mental, will be slow and gradual. It will take about three to four weeks to complete. A little bit of sleeplessness during that time is normal. Your brain is basically going into hyperdrive. If it becomes too much you can ask Ms Beck for sedatives.

“The same is true for your muscles. As they are experiencing growth spurts, they will stimulate easily. You will develop restless muscle syndrome unless you relieve that stimulation by tiring them out.”

“How do we do that?” Chris asked.

“Physical exercise.”

“Oh…”

“Don’t worry though,” Mr Lou continued. “You will not require as much working out as a person who had not received the injection. You can get by with as little as 3 hours per week, but our other students have reported that working out more will ease the symptoms. Plus, it will help with the sleeplessness too. I’m sure your roommates will help you getting used to the gym and its equipment. Unlike the sleeplessness from the mental changes, however, the overstimulation of your muscles will remain permanently.”

By now the nurses were done with the blood samples and were preparing injection kits instead.

“Very well.” Mr Lou looked around. “Who wants to go first?”

Ray pulled at the sleeve of his shirt. It was early August so he was wearing a T-shirt and he wanted to make sure nobody saw the band-aid from the injection while he was waiting for class to start.

His first lecture after the injection was mathematics, a basic course to refresh the relevant topics from school for further studies. When it was time to pick his classes in March, he had no idea where he wanted to go, but he always liked building things, so he figured an engineering degree could be interesting. The school had helped him pick the right subjects.

“Excuse me.” A woman appeared next to him. “Is this the basic mathematics course?”

Ray turned to her. He was sitting near the exit. The auditorium was intimidating and none of the other students from the Daedalus Project were here, so he simply plopped down on the first seat without having to walk through the entire room and be seen. Ironically, this made him the first person she could reach.

“Yeah, uh, module 12,” he nearly stammered.

“Oh, good.” She pointed to the space next to Ray. “Is this seat taken?”

“No.” Ray shook his head and watched her sit down next to him. She wasn’t a supermodel, but he found her easy to look at and she had a nice voice.

She pulled out her writing utensils. “Did you also start yesterday?”

Technically Ray started with classes today, but he figured she didn’t need to know the details. “Yeah.”

“I’m Selena, by the way.”

“Raymond.” He was caught off guard and stumbled to correct himself. “Uh, Ray.”

“Rise and shine, sleepyhead!” Nick pulled up the blinds to let the morning sun shine directly into Ray’s face.

Ray grimaced and pressed his face into the pillow. He had spent most of the night tossing and turning in bed, his mind swirling around everything and nothing at all.

And what little time he had for sleep had now been interrupted by his roommate.

“Hey!” Nick shook Ray’s shoulder. “You need to get up or you’re late for class.”

“I don’t have class this morning,” Ray mumbled into his pillow.

“You’re aware you left your schedule out, right?”

“Oh god, just leave me alone.” Ray pulled up the pillow to cover his ears too.

“No skipping class on the first day, bro!”

“Second.”

When there was no immediate reaction, Ray believed Nick had given up, only for his blanket to be yanked away moments later. He squinted towards his bed’s foot end and saw Nick rolling up the blanket and dropping it on the bed, an exaggerated stern look on his face.

Ray groaned and buried his face in the pillow again.

“You know,” Nick began. “We all went through this, so I know exactly how you feel.” He bent over Ray’s body to yank the pillow out of Ray’s weak grasp. “But skipping class is not an option.”

Ray curled up and brought his arms over his face to block out the sun. “I hate you.”

“I know,” Nick chuckled. “And after class you’ll hate me even more.”

“Why?”

“Because I’ll take you to the gym. Don’t be late.”

“Urgh.”

“Anyway.” Nick moved towards the door to the bathroom. “When I’m done getting ready, I expect to find you in a vertical position. Otherwise there’ll be a bucket of cold water with your name on it.” He opened the door. “Oh, and I took a picture of your schedule, so don’t try that on me again.”

Ray decided to sit up and lean against the wall. Lying down would just make him fall asleep again and he was worried that Nick was serious about the cold water.

So he just sat there, waiting for Nick to finish, squinting against the morning sun.

Life was pain.

Ray trudged into his first class for this day, technical writing. It was part of his major, intended to teach how to structure and write different kinds of documents. As a potential future engineer, describing his designs would be part of Ray’s job. Still, it was broad enough that he expected to see some of the others from his group.

It seemed like the students weren’t all freshmen. In fact, Ray saw some of the juniors from the Daedalus project walking around. Having few dependencies with other classes, this course was used as a gapfiller, placed in students’ schedules whenever there was room, independent of year.

Ray was about to sit himself down somewhere in a corner like he did with all classes so far, when he saw Marc and Victor sitting a little distance away.

“Hey.” Ray sat down next to Victor.

There was mumbled acknowledgement from the others and Ray could tell they were just as fatigued as he was.

A little while later, Yeong joined them, sitting down next to Ray. “Morning.”

“Hey,” the others returned.

“You guys slept at all?”

Marc looked up and sighed. “Barely.”

“‘Little bit’ of sleeplessness, my ass,” Yeong echoed Mr Lou’s words.

Ray let his gaze wander across the students. He wondered if those who were talking to the Daedalus juniors knew about the program.

He was interrupted from his thoughts when Liam sat down in the row before them, the seat appearing one size too small for his muscular frame. He turned around to face the freshmen, his right arm with the catcher’s mitt leaning on the backrest. “Wow, you guys look terrible.”

“Gee, thanks,” was Yeong’s answer.

Liam laughed. “Sorry guys, but yeah, first few days after the injection are rough.”

“Any advice?” Marc wanted to know.

“Push through it.” Liam shrugged. “Go to bed early to get as much sleep as you can. Should be more manageable after the first week.”

A girl approached the senior. “Hey Liam?”

“Hey.”

“You were in Mr Hill’s class yesterday, right?”

“Uh, yeah?”

“I wasn’t there because I had an appointment.” The girl sat down. “Mind if we go through the subject matter some time?”

“Yeah, sure, no problem. Do you have time today after class?”

“Yes! Thanks, Liam.” She turned around and looked up at the freshmen. “I didn’t interrupt anything, did I?”

“Nah,” Liam nodded to Ray and the others. “Was just talking to our new guys.”

The girl looked at the freshmen, the gears in her head turning. “Daedalus?”

Ray gulped.

“Yup,” Liam confirmed.

“Ah.” With that the girl turned back around. “Yeah, it was either missing Psychology or Communication Science for the appointment and I didn’t want to miss Psychology.”

“Probably wise.”

Ray tuned out of the conversation the two seniors had. The older years might be used to seeing students decay, but what about the younger years, freshmen not part of Daedalus? How would they even react when they’d learn of it?

He was interrupted from his thoughts when Pablo appeared and sat down next to Yeong.

“Morning.” Pablo’s face and voice showed the same exhaustion as the other freshmen. “Did you guys get any sleep?”

Ray was trying hard to concentrate, but it was difficult to focus on the pages due to equal parts fatigue and guilt.

Guilt, because he was sitting in the library after class, rather than going to his dorm to join Nick.

Ray wasn’t ready for the gym yet. His body was not in shape and he didn’t want anyone to judge him. Not to mention that he was too tired to work out anyway. Truth be told, the only reason why he was in the library was because he was hiding from Nick, trying to get an alibi for why he didn’t come. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be here either.

His phone buzzed in his pocket and he fished it out to check who it was.

It was a message from Nick. They had exchanged numbers on the first day. Ray wouldn’t have thought it’d backfire on him this quickly.

Nick: Where are you?

Ray thought for a moment, wondering how honest he should be, before he typed his response.

Ray: Busy. Cant today

He looked at the screen for a few seconds to see if Nick replied. Strangely he didn’t feel relief when Nick’s ‘last online’ began counting up again.

Nick didn’t even leave a quip.

Ray felt bad, but what was he supposed to do? The gym was not for him, especially not today, not as he was. He promised himself to join Nick as soon as the solution started working its magic with Ray’s body.

And so he continued trying to study, and failing miserably in the process.

“And this is the locker room.” Mr McCarthy stopped in front of a door. He pointed to several neatly folded pieces of cloth with a football helmet on each lying on a nearby bench. “Pick your size, but don’t worry if it doesn’t fit perfectly. You’ll outgrow them soon anyway.”

Today Ray and the others had their first sports class with McCarthy, american football. Despite their different majors, all ten freshmen were assigned to this class as the university had been working with football associations in the past years and finally got the clearance to send their Daedalus students to official competitions.

McCarthy had explained to them that they would be playing with and against other students, who are not part of Daedalus, in part because there weren’t that many students who had joined the project but also to have the direct comparison in terms of performance.

“Mr McCarthy?” Fabian spoke up as the freshmen were grabbing their gear.

“Coach,” McCarthy corrected him. “Please, call me coach.”

“Umm, coach, we’re not—” Fabian swallowed. “We’re not going to play, like, proper today, right?”

Coach had to laugh. “Don’t worry, guys. We’ll take it slow today, get to know the team and lay down the groundwork.” With that he began to walk off. “Be on the field in ten minutes.”

Ray and the others opened the door only to find the room already occupied. Around a dozen jocks were in various stages of changing into their football outfits, each turning to face the newcomers.

The nearest jock approached the group. “Hey there, you’re the Daedalus guys, right?”

“Uh huh,” Kenneth confirmed.

“Well, nice to meet ya. I’m Emmanuel, but everyone here calls me Emu.”

“Are you… First years?” Ray asked. The way Emu talked and the other men in the room acted did not seem like someone who started only three days ago.

“What?” Emu seemed surprised. “Nah. Sophomores.”

“Shit, we’re getting matched against second years?!” Yeong exclaimed. “You’ll destroy us.”

“Eh, only a little.” Emu leaned against a locker and pinched two fingers, smirking. “You’ll survive.”

The jock was playfully pushed aside when another man entered the frame. “Nobody’s getting destroyed today.” The man crossed his arms and looked at his fellow athlete. “Except maybe for Emu’s pride.”

“Hey!”

“Don’t mind him.” The man turned to the freshmen. “He likes to think he’s an Emu, but he’s really just a silly goose.”

“Help, I’m being bullied!” Emu mock-lamented.

“I’m Diego by the way.” The man shrugged. “Normally I’m the team’s captain, but I think today we’ll do things a bit differently.”

“Meaning what?” Kenneth asked.

“Well, you clearly are not in the proper form today for a real game, nor do I assume you’ve got the practice.” Diego thought for a moment as he eyed the freshmen. “Who of you even knows the rules?”

Ray saw only three of the others slowly raise their hands: Chris, Marc and Kenneth.

“See?” Diego continued. “Gotta teach you how the game works first.”

“Besides,” Another jock behind Diego began. “You’re ten and a team is eleven players, so we’ll need to mix ‘n match sooner or later anyway.”

“Abe’s right. And don’t worry about us being Sophomores.” Diego went back to his locker. “You’ll probably end up outperforming us by the end of the year.”

Ray returned his attention back to his gear, holding up the jersey to get a good look. Then he began stepping out of his clothes to put on his football uniform.

“Oh, and before you get any ideas.” Emu put on his own jersey. “Most of us are straight.”

“Uh, so are we,” Chris retorted.

“Yeah, but not for long, as I understand it,” Emu smirked.

“Emu,” Diego disapproved.

But Emu continued regardless. “Well, you’re in luck. I’m sure Nathan will be all over y—”

He was cut off by one of his fellow jocks pushing his hand against Emu’s chest, making Emu bump into the locker behind him.

The jock’s ears were beet-red, indicating that this was most likely Nathan himself. He looked at Emu with a face that read ‘What the fuck was that?’ while Emu’s face replied with a genuine ‘What did I do wrong?’

Nathan went back to his locker, while Emu looked around confused until he made eye contact with Diego, who shook his head.

Ray didn’t go to the library today. Not only was yesterday completely unproductive, but he had also received a text from Nick early in the day, asking if he’d come along. Nick was out of class one hour earlier than Ray, so he wanted to know if he should wait. Naturally, Ray declined.

“Hey,” Ray said as he entered the room, tossing his bag into the corner.

Nick was sitting on his bed, the book of theoretical physics in front of his face. It was late enough that he must have already returned from his gym session. He waited a few seconds before he replied. “Hey.”

Ray let himself fall on his bed. He looked at Nick for a few moments. “Are you mad?”

“Mad?” Nick didn’t move the book. “Mad at what?”

“You know what…”

A shrug was Nick’s only visible movement. “It’s you who has to live with it.”

Several painful seconds passed.

“You know,” Nick continued, the book firmly in place. “My offer still stands. Just say the word.”

Ray briefly mulled over the words, but decided to turn around, facing the wall.

Sleep took hold of him within moments.

Though it wouldn’t last long.

It was a good thing that Ray had fallen asleep as quickly as he did. The next morning he had to get up extra early to get a blood sample taken for Mr Lou. The missing hour was noticeable throughout the day.

Ray took his tray and made his way through the crowded cafeteria to eat his lunch.

He heard Shawn call out to him on his right. “Ray, over here.”

He turned to see his mentor and Nick sitting together at an otherwise empty table, already done with their lunch by the looks of their tray.

Shawn waved to get his attention. “Come join us.”

Ray considered for a moment not to accept the invitation. He really wanted to avoid the awkward situation with Nick, but somehow just walking off seemed even worse.

He took a breath and walked over, sitting down next to Shawn.

“We were just talking about you,” Shawn began.

Ray froze for a moment. This was not sounding promising.

“Only good things.” Nick looked over to Ray, his face not unfriendly, yet guarded.

Ray looked down at his plate of food.

“Hey um,” Nick turned to Shawn and pointed behind him. “If you don’t mind, I’ll…”

“Yeah sure, go ahead,” Shawn agreed. “I’ll join you later.”

Nick grabbed his tray, but before he got up, he looked at his roommate. “What about you? Will I see you later?”

Ray didn’t know what to say, so he said nothing.

“All right.” A hint of disappointment rang in Nick’s voice.

Once Nick was out of earshot, Shawn spoke up. “He told me about, well, the current situation.” He paused for a second. “Wanna tell me why you don’t wanna go to the gym with him?”

“Do I need a reason?”

“Normally you don’t, but…” He noticed the freshman tapping his foot. “What’s with your leg?”

Ray forced the fidgeting to stop. It had started early this day and only gotten worse in the following hours.

“I dunno, nervousness?” He lied.

“Did Mr Lou not tell you about the side effects of the solution?”

“He did.”

“Then you know that’s restless muscle syndrome.”

There was no answer from Ray as he poked in his food.

“And then you also know that physical activity helps relieve the symptoms,” Shawn added.

“I hate the gym.”

“Have you been there yet?”

“I just hate it in general,” Ray explained. “People will look at me and judge me and—”

“Nobody does that,” Shawn cut him off.

“That’s easy for you to say,” Ray countered. “You’re a jock. Everyone envies you.”

“That wasn’t always the case. We started out just like you.”

Ray let his fork slip out of his hand as he supported his head with both arms.

“Ray,” Shawn put a hand on the freshman’s shoulder. “We’ve all been there.” He thought for a moment. “Nick is genuinely trying to help you and he thinks he’s doing something wrong because you refuse his help.”

“So I should just go with him to make him feel better?”

“I didn’t mean to guilt trip you,” Shawn clarified. “But the symptoms will get worse and we know how to help.” He thought for a moment. “If you don’t want to go with Nick, you can also ask someone else. All of us are happy to help.”

Ray took a deep breath. Nick didn’t do anything wrong. There was nobody else Ray would rather go to the gym with. “No, I… I think I’ll talk to him.”

“Always remember that you’re not alone in this.” Shawn took his tray. “And that you’re not the first to tackle these problems.”

Ray woke from his after class snooze. Nick had just come in, an hour after Ray’s class ended.

Now that he was awake, Ray felt the restlessness in his muscles return in full force. “Hey.”

Nick sat down on his bed and pulled out his phone, presumably checking messages. “Hey.”

Neither said anything for a long while. Eventually, Nick got up to pack his bag for the gym.

Ray sat up on his bed. “Nick?”

“Mh hm?”

“I changed my mind,” Ray hesitated. “Can you take me to the gym?”

A hint of a smile tugged at the corners of Nick’s mouth. He turned his head and put a hand to his ear. “I’m sorry, what was that?”

Ray rolled his eyes. His roommate really could have made this easier, but maybe Nick deserved it. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? I was just so scared, guess still am, but…” His foot began tapping again. “I talked to Shawn and, yeah, I guess he’s right. I’m sorry for standing you up the last few days.”

“Err, I was just hoping to hear a ‘please’.” Nick seemed genuinely surprised. “But I’ll also take an elaborate apology.”

Oh.

“Why scared, anyway?” Nick asked.

Ray didn’t want to go into detail. Maybe Shawn was right afterall. “I just don’t know if the gym is for me.”

“Mmh mmh.” Nick thought for a moment. “I mean, you could also find a different activity that suits you more.” He nodded at Ray’s fidgeting leg. “But we need to get that thing calmed down first.”

Ray didn’t say anything.

“Well, then.” Nick hoisted his bag on his bed. “Pack your stuff, we’re going now.”

“Now?”

“Now.”

The weekend was a strange mix of sleepless nights, late mornings, working out and dozing off in bed. Nick’s training regime for Ray focused on light but thorough training, not enough to warrant a resting day while hitting every affected muscle group.

Ray hated to admit it, but both Nick and Shawn were right. He didn’t feel that out of place in the gym, especially as he saw the other freshmen training with their roommates and mentors as well.

And yes, the training did actually help. While he still didn’t get as much sleep as he would have liked, the nights were now a lot more manageable and the muscles almost never acted up.

Nick even trusted Ray enough to leave him alone this morning, not that he had much choice. It was Monday and the only class the Daedalus students had was Mr Lou’s with the rest of the day being a dedicated study day. At any rate, since the different years would have it at different times, Nick would not be there to wake up Ray.

But he didn’t have to. Ray’s class was in the afternoon. He was already awake for a few hours by the time it started.

Ray and the others found themselves in a small lab, dedicated exclusively to Daedalus. Instead of rows of chairs, the room was furnished with counters and lab equipment.

“Welcome.” Mr Lou stood in front of the students. “How was your first week?”

“Exhausting,” came Chris’ answer from the back. It elicited a little chuckle from the others. At least symptoms weren’t as bad anymore, so the freshmen could take it with a bit of humor.

“I assume most of you still experience some restlessness.” Mr Lou looked around the group. “Anyone feel like the symptoms still aren’t getting better?”

Nobody said anything.

“Well, that’s good.” He leaned on the counter behind him. “So this is the Daedalus class, as you already know. It has one main purpose and that is to, well, do research into the Daedalus technology. Effectively this means that you, and the other Daedalus students, are my lab assistants.”

“So we do your dirty work?” Yeong commented.

Mr Lou smiled. “As I said, you’re my lab assistants, yes.”

Most of the group chuckled.

“No, but seriously,” Mr Lou continued. “At the beginning the project wasn’t big enough to warrant an entire research team, but it still produced a lot of busywork. Analyzing samples, documenting findings, creating new variations of the agent. So back when we started, we enlisted the students themselves to help out with all that stuff.” Mr Lou shrugged. “And, well, it’s worked well enough that it’s become tradition.”

Pablo raised his hand and Mr Lou nodded towards him.

“Isn’t it counterproductive that we do the research when we are directly affected? Like, wouldn’t that make us biased?”

“Not necessarily,” Mr Lou explained. “Self experiments are completely valid in science, but you’re not entirely wrong. We make sure to keep biases to a minimum. For example, you will not analyze your own blood samples. In fact you won’t know whose samples are whose.”

Victor raised his hand next. “Will we get graded in this class?”

“Very good question,” Mr Lou replied. “The answer is no. You will get points for attendance -the class is mandatory for you after all- but there will be no tests or exams.”

A wave of relief went through the freshmen.

“Any other questions?” Mr Lou looked around the group, before he continued. “Then how about we start with a little history lesson.” He leaned further on the counter to be comfortable. “I cannot tell you where and how the agent was discovered. That information is classified and not even I am in the know. In fact, I was not even on the project back then. The head researcher at the time was Mr Morales.”

“The vice principal?” Chris asked.

“Yes. As far as I know, he was given the agent and instructions on how to make more of it from a classified source, hoping he would find a way to make it usable. You see, back then the agent was highly volatile. When muscles and the brain don’t grow evenly, then you have a big problem. So the solution had to be tested and refined—on rats.

“Eventually a benign version of the agent was developed. It would greatly improve the rat’s physique and mental abilities. Unlike the previous solutions, the new version did not cause malignant growths. For the first time, the rat did not die. After some weeks the changes plateaued and no more growth spurts could be detected. The experiment was a success. He injected two more rats with the solution to make sure, before he moved on to his first human subject.”

A dramatic pause.

“Unfortunately, one week before he would conclude the experiment and send out the research paper, something happened with the first rat.”

Mr Lou walked over to a small cage with bedding and odd objects inside, a men’s dress shoe, a tennis ball and a metal spoon. He reached into the cage to pet the shoe with his finger.

A shiver ran down Ray’s spine. He had seen the cage when he walked in but thought nothing of it. Now he realized what those objects were. Three rats. Three items. They were living beings, transformed into inanimate objects, just like the students in the vault.

Mr Lou let the freshmen play out the scenario that followed after the rats had started to turn in their heads before he continued. “For reasons I will not get into, Mr Morales stepped down as head researcher and I was brought into the project in his stead. He still oversees Project Daedalus, but only for administrative purposes. He has no involvement in the research itself.”

Pablo raised his hand again. “How long ago was this?”

“Nine years.”

Pablo nodded to the cage. “Do you know if they’re still alive?”

“Of course.”

“How?” Yeong asked.

“The same way we know our students are still alive: We put them in the communications room.” He smiled. “Instead of a human voice you hear chitters and squeaks.”

Ray noticed Pablo’s eyes widening, being hit by a realization that escaped the other students.

Mr Lou nodded, seemingly knowing what made Pablo ask his question in the first place. “And yeah, you are right, rats normally live only for two to three years.”

The room was silent for a few seconds.

“What?!” Gavin exclaimed in disbelief. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

Mr Lou remained calm, as if he already knew what Gavin meant. This might not have been the first time for him. “Tell you what?”

“That… PTOs don’t age.”

“There are multiple reasons,” Mr Lou began. “But the biggest is that we simply do not know if that is the case. Do PTOs stop aging or do they simply age more slowly?” He paused for a moment. “Consider this as well: The rats have turned into human-made objects. What if their natural life span has adjusted to match that of a human, which would mean that for humans there would be no change?”

“You could have still told us,” Gavin insisted.

“The problem is that immortality is a very strong incentive for many people and we do not want to advertise it to the outside world. Especially as we do not even know if it is true. Consider someone joining on the premise that he will live forever, but has to give up his human body, only to later learn that he will die around the same time he would have if he had kept his body.” He looked around the group. “All of you joined for other reasons. Immortality for you isn’t an incentive that may lead to devastating disappointment. It’s more of an unknown bonus.”

Gavin lowered his voice, almost as if he was talking to himself. “Why would anyone want that?”

Mr Lou seemed genuinely surprised for a moment by that comment, but decided to ignore it. “Where was I?... Right,” he continued. “When Mr Morales stepped down and I became the head researcher the Daedalus project, as you know it, was formed. It was deemed inhumane to subject an animal that does not understand its fate of being an inanimate object and so Mr Morales and I decided to move to willing human participants.”

“So, killing animals is less inhumane than turning them inanimate?” Yeong objected.

Mr Lou simply shrugged. “The ethics of animal testing is certainly a valid topic of debate and one that’s been discussed since forever in the science community, but the way I see it, research into this technology is worth it to unlock its full potential and risking the lives of rats is preferable to risking the lives of people. On the flipside, if no lives are being risked, then humans are better able to deal with the decay than an animal that does not understand what is happening.

“Besides,” he continued “The agent can only receive the antidote once the body has metabolized it into a different state, but rats have a different metabolism and body chemistry than humans. Even if we continued with rats, the findings would be mostly useless for human application.”

Mr Lou let the students mull over what he just said, before he walked back to his previous spot. “Now, if you could do me one favor, the circumstances that led to Mr Morales stepping down are deeply personal to him, so please keep that in mind if you ever talk to him about it.”

He paused for a moment.

“Well, now you know about how Daedalus started.” Mr Lou rubbed his hands together. “Let’s move on to the next topic: The molecular structure of the agent.”

Ray briefly scanned the room before he sat down for the basic math course. He was checking if Selena had already arrived. Ray made sure to be early today, so that she wouldn’t already have picked a seat.

If Ray had to be honest, he would have to admit that he was looking forward to seeing her again. She was nice and although they talked little during their last class, he enjoyed her company.

But then he remembered that he had already received the injection. His body would change and with it his mind.

Although, was it his mind that would change? Is attraction a part of someone’s mind? Personality? Just a part of who he was?

Suddenly it dawned on Ray that he had no clue what sexuality even was. Was it part of someone’s identity? But Ray would have never identified himself as straight, except for clarification. He wondered how much being straight was really a part of him as opposed to just a fact, just an attribute of his being.

And he wondered if it’d be the same once he turned gay. Would he start acting differently? He thought of his roommate and the mentors. None of them seemed gay to him, not in the sense that you look at them and can tell immediately.

And who’s to say that he would turn gay, anyway? Just because it happened with all other Daedalus students did not mean it would always happen. Just as there are a few gay men in a largely straight population, it could be that there might be the odd straight Daedalus student post-injection.

He bit his lips.

What were the odds that he was the lucky one?

He was pulled out of his thoughts by a familiar voice. “Good morning.”

Ray looked up to see Selena smile as she was walking past him.

Walking past him.

“Hey,” Was all Ray managed as he watched Selena walk down the rows of seats to join a group of other students.

Yeah, figures.

“What are you having?” Ray nodded over to Marc.

“A banh mi.” Marc investigated the food he was holding. “It’s like a sub of sorts.”

“Is it good?”

“It tastes very… fresh?” Marc was trying to think of a good word. “Light? I like it.”

This evening there was a small food truck festival going on at the campus. Apparently it was a regular thing. At the beginning of each year the school would invite food trucks over to the premises and hand out coupons to the freshmen. Nick had said it was intended as a freshman event, get the new students out and mingle with each other.

Naturally, Nick had dragged Ray out here, despite Ray’s protests. At first he was a little lost among all the strangers after Nick had left to get food for himself, but then he spotted some of his freshman group, Marc and some others standing at a table, and decided to join them.

“You’re not getting anything?” Marc looked at the coupon in Ray’s hand.

“A bit later, maybe,” Ray half-lied. Truth be told, the main reason why he didn’t go get any food right now was because he didn’t want to worm his way through the crowds, stand in line for a few minutes and then finally order while people were waiting behind him. Plus, the amount of options felt a little overwhelming. He had only one coupon after all.

“Oh my god, guys, you gotta try the Espetada.” Chris joined the table, nibbling at a skewer with meat. “They’re absolutely delicious.”

“It’s a pretty nice selection of food, I have to say,” Kenneth agreed before shoving another dumpling in his mouth.

“Anyone know where the others are?” Yeong asked.

Marc looked at him. “The others?”

“Daedalus. You know, the upper years.”

“They’re around.” Marc prepared to take another bite. “I’ve seen Liam earlier.”

Ray looked around the group. They were eight, all the Daedalus freshmen except for Gavin and Fabian. Not too surprising given how reclusive both of them were. He wondered if their roommates tried getting them out and failed or if they didn’t care as much as Nick had.

“So,” Ray began. “What are your roommates like?”

“Boring,” Yeong blurted out.

“Qadir?” Kenneth asked. “He seemed like a nice guy.”

“Like I said,” Yeong deadpanned. “Boring.”

“If you want someone with an edge,” Victor chimed in. “You can have mine. Guy’s a handful.”

“A handful, eh?” Yeong smirked. “Looks like the solution works faster for some.”

“Fuck you, you know what I meant.”

“No need to overreact,” Yeong lowered his voice. “It was just a joke.”

Ray realized Yeong hadn’t meant to start a fight and Victor must have noticed too, as he dropped it and returned his attention to his food.

Ray looked at Victor. “Who’s your roomie?”

“Drew.” Victor took a bite.

“Harrison’s all right,” Kenneth chimed in. “A bit quiet but we get along.”

“Same with Zvi,” Pablo added.

Kenneth nodded to Ray. “What about yours?”

“Nick?” Ray shrugged. “He’s cool.”

“Yeah, you got a good one from what I can tell,” Marc said. “Dude was worried about you the first couple days.”

“Oh my god,” Ray wanted to disappear. “Did he tell you about the gym thing?”

“I mean,” Marc gestured. “What was he supposed to tell us when you weren’t tagging along with him?”

Crap, Ray forgot that the other freshmen actually were in the gym during that time and had met Nick.

Before his embarrassment could grow, Shawn and Liam appeared, together with two Daedalus sophomores. Ray couldn’t recall their names right now, but as far as he knew they were each respective senior’s roommate, apparently carrying over from the previous year, when they were freshmen.

“How’s it going?” Shawn asked. “Enjoying yourselves?”

A murmur of agreement came from the group.

The coupon in Ray’s hand caught Shawn’s attention. “You should really get something.” He smiled. “Before they close up.”

Ray looked at the food trucks. There were still queues in front of them. No wonder, given the size of the school.

However, Ray figured that Shawn and Marc had a point. The lines were unlikely to thin out soon and the food trucks might eventually run out of food one by one. It wouldn’t be the first time Ray delayed until he missed out on something.

Ray nodded and made his way to the nearest truck.

“Fuck me silly, would you look at that?!” Emu exclaimed as he walked towards Fabian, the nearest of the freshmen he could reach. He investigated the freshman’s body. “You guys been hitting the gym?”

Fabian drew his arms closer, uncomfortable with being approached and examined.

Kenneth shucked his own shirt. “Pretty sure it’s the agent doing most of the work.”

“We’ve also been hitting the gym though,” Chris added.

“Yeah, but no way you grow that much in just a week from exercise alone,” Diego chimed in. “Kenneth is right.”

Ray looked at himself and the rest of the freshmen. He hadn’t noticed because he saw himself and others on a daily basis and so the differences were more gradual, but if he recalled what he looked like a week ago, yeah, his arms were definitely a bit more toned, not on the level of a bodybuilder, more going in the direction of a swimmer, muscles visible under the skin but not dominating the silhouette.

Emu walked back to his locker. “Shit guys, you think it’s too late to sign up for a shot?” He was clearly joking.

“By all means,” Abe replied. “go ahead.”

“Are you really fine with me overshadowing you even more?”

“I’m fine with you turning into a shoe and never hearing from you again,” Abe laughed.

Another jock chimed in. “Leave it to Emu to turn into a rubber chicken or something similarly annoying.”

Laughter broke out among the jocks, while the Daedalus students froze and stared at the other team. The reality of what would happen to each of them in the future had just been brought back to front of mind.

Diego looked over to the freshmen and understood. “Guys.” He signaled for his team to stop.

“Thank you for coming.” Ms Beck sat down across from Ray in a small seating area inside her office. She poured some tea into a mug in front of her. “Would you like some?”

Ray shook his head.

He had received an appointment a few days ago. Ms Beck wanted to meet each of the freshmen two weeks after the injection to see how they had settled in. Afterwards they would see her on a two weeks basis, or, of course, whenever circumstances called for it.

Ms Beck lifted up the mug and held it with both hands. “How have your first two weeks been?”

“Exhausting, for the most part.” Ray smiled. “But it’s much better now.”

“I heard your roommate had some trouble getting you to work out.”

Ray took a deep breath. Did everyone in the school know at this point? “Yeah, but we sorted it out.”

She blew on her tea. “May I ask why you didn’t want to go?”

Ray rolled his eyes.

“I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” Ms Beck quickly added. “Just trying to get a sense of our students and where their minds are at, but we can also talk about something else.”

Ray felt she deserved an answer. “I just thought I didn’t belong there, like I didn’t have a body fit for the gym.” He shrugged. “But as I said, it’s fine now. I got over it.”

“That’s good to hear. You’re getting along with Nick then?”

“Oh yeah, he’s a great guy.”

Ms Beck smiled. “And the other Daedalus students?”

“They’re very welcoming.” Ray thought for a moment. “They make me feel normal.”

Ms Beck only smiled.

“The rest of the school too, actually,” Ray added. “The professors, the other students outside the project. So far, everyone has been surprisingly… unfazed by the whole Daedalus thing.”

“Well, people are used to it by now. Apart from the freshmen, everyone has witnessed at least one year alongside Daedalus students already.”

“Mmh.”

“What about the other freshmen from your group?” Ms Beck wanted to know. “Getting along?”

“For the most part.” Ray shrugged. “Some of them don’t seem to want to be part of it though.”

“It may be less about wanting and more about not being able.”

“What do you mean?”

“Most of you come from a bad place,” Ms Beck explained. “Many of the Daedalus students come here with baggage, unhealthy coping and defense mechanisms. Keeping others at arm’s length may simply be a survival tactic for some.”

“So what am I supposed to do?”

“Nothing is expected from you, of course.” Ms Beck set down her mug and smiled. “But life hasn’t been kind to many of you. A little bit of kindness can go a long way to help someone open up.”

Ray slowly nodded.

“Are you done in there soon?” Nick asked through the door.

Ray didn’t react, instead continuing to investigate his body in the mirror post shower. Watching his muscles moving under his skin was mesmerizing. He never had a body like that and he wasn’t even on Nick’s level yet. It felt unreal, like a dream.

Suddenly the door swung open. “Are you checking yourself out in the mirror?” Nick asked with a smirk.

“Dude, don’t barge in like that.” Nick never locked the door when he showered, so Ray had done the same. It would have felt like he didn’t trust Nick as much as his roommate trusted Ray. Luckily, Ray had already wrapped a towel around his waist.

“Other people wanna shower too, Narcissus.”

“Narcissus?”

“You know,” Nick was leaning in the door frame. “The guy who fell in love with his own reflection.”

“Pff, don’t tell me you didn’t check yourself out in the first weeks.”

“Fine, I won’t tell you.”

“Liar,” Ray scoffed.

“You can’t prove anything.” Nick entered the bathroom. “Now shoo, I need a shower.”

Ray left the bathroom to Nick and lay down in bed. It was late and although he wasn’t as tired as last week, he still felt the toll of the injection. Still, he wanted to look at some of the stuff from his classes. Lately he felt his ability to concentrate and retain knowledge had increased, no doubt due to the agent changing his body. It was subtle, but noticeable for someone like Ray who had never done particularly well in school.

After ten minutes, Nick exited the bathroom and began getting dressed again.

Before Ray could say anything, there was a knock on the door.

Nick went to open it, apparently expecting whoever was on the other side, then walked back to continue getting dressed.

“Yo Nick,” Drew stepped into the room. “You ready?”

“Yeah.” Nick put on a tank top, perfectly outlining his muscles. “I’m set.”

“Let’s go. The others are waiting.”

Ray was curious. “Where are you going?”

“Clubbing,” Nick replied.

Drew looked at Ray and smirked. “You wanna come along?”

“Uhh—” Ray began but was cut off by Nick.

“It’s a gay club.”

“Oh.”

“I mean, you can come along,” Nick offered. “But I doubt it’s for you yet.” When there was no reply from Ray, he added. “Maybe join us next month?”

Ray decided not to commit to anything just yet. The idea still weirded him out. “Mmh.”

“Well, cya,” Nick winked. “There’s food in the fridge and don’t stay up too late.”

Ray sat down in his usual place again for the basic math course. He didn’t know whether he should look forward to it. His body was now more like that of a jock now. People would likely notice him. On the one hand, he expected to no longer be ignored, but on the other hand, it would mean more attention on him, which he didn’t want.

He took a deep breath and tried to act natural.

One by one, more students filed in, few of them glancing his way, but nobody talking to him.

For some reason, seeing the actual reaction did not help resolving his mixed feelings from before. If anything it made it worse. Why did people ignore him? Wasn’t he supposed to be popular now? And those who did look at him, what were they thinking? Did they know he was part of Daedalus? Were they judging him for joining it?

Selena’s voice interrupted his whirlwind of thoughts. “Good morning.” She stopped to take a closer look at Ray. “What happened to you?”

Ray blushed. He still didn’t feel comfortable telling Selena about the Daedalus project. He had no idea how she would react, so he avoided the truth without lying. “I hit the gym.”

“Seems to have done wonders for you.” She waited a few awkward seconds. “Well, see you around.”

And with that, she walked off to join her friends further into the hall.

Slowly but surely, the whirlwind in Ray’s head picked up steam again.

The trill of a whistle made everyone stop and catch their breath, including Ray.

“Well played, everyone, well played,” Mr McCarthy shouted across the football field to the Daedalus freshmen and Diego’s team. “I’ll give you a few minutes, then we’ll huddle up.”

Ray saw some of the others take off their helmets and did the same.

Mr McCarthy walked through the group, dispensing feedback. “Fabian, when you have the ball, don’t hesitate. Rush for the goal line.”

“But what if I get stopped?”

“You need to trust your mates to keep the enemy off you,” McCarthy explained. “It’s a team effort. Everyone needs to play their role as best as they can. Every moment you delay gives the enemy the opportunity to regroup.”

“Yeong,” McCarthy continued. “Focus on the ball. You don’t achieve anything from blocking someone who isn’t near the ball. Your goal is to finish the game, not stall it.”

Yeong seemed too out of breath to answer.

Diego jogged over to Ray and some of the others.

“Hey Marc.” The sophomore put a hand on the freshman’s shoulder. “Excellent work on that pass. Tight spiral, and you led your receiver well. Good job.”

“Thanks.”

“Ray,” Diego continued. “Nice tackle. Keep it up.”

Ray couldn’t help but glance over to Pablo, who he took the ball from earlier, but Pablo didn’t seem to pay attention to what Diego was saying, too busy catching his breath.

The players continued recovering from the exercise before they gathered around Mr McCarthy.

“All right,” he began. “You still have some things to learn, but I think we’re at a point where we can form proper teams.” He turned to Diego. “That means three of your guys will move to the Daedalus team.”

“We’re not gonna do a proper mix?”

McCarthy shook his head. “We want to see a direct comparison in terms of performance.”

“Mmh.” Diego did not make it clear whether he disliked the reason or if he agreed.

“You don’t need to decide now.” McCarthy looked to the others. “As for you, freshmen, you’ll have to elect a captain. Any volunteers?”

Kenneth raised his hand and so did Chris.

McCarthy thought for a moment. “Chris, I’ll be honest, I don’t see you in a captain’s position.”

“Why not?”

Instead of an answer, McCarthy gave him an examining look. “Tell you what, convince me in the coming months and we can have this talk again next year.”

Chris looked to the side, grinding his teeth.

“Anyone else?” McCarthy asked.

Pablo raised his voice. “What about Marc?”

McCarthy looked at Marc. “You up for it?”

Marc seemed surprised. “Uh, sure.”

“All right then,” McCarthy motioned the two to come stand in front of the group. “Votes for Kenneth?”

Four arms shot up.

“And for Marc?”

Ray raised his arm, together with Pablo and Marc.

McCarthy looked around the group, seemingly amused by those who didn’t vote. “Well, it’s close, but looks like Kenneth, you are now your team’s captain.” He turned to Marc. “And you’re the vice captain.”

Both students nodded.

“Diego, you will select three of your team to join the Daedalus students.”

“All right.” Diego turned to his team to pick players, when McCarthy interrupted him.

“Don’t do it now. Kenneth, until next week you will make a plan with your positions for offense and defensive play and then talk with Diego so he can decide who to send over.”

“Got it.”

“Well then,” McCarthy continued. “That’s all for today.”

Ray felt uncomfortable, like he didn’t belong. His muscles had grown and he was still the unpopular kid in the last row. He looked like a jock and yet felt like a sham on the field.

His life was currently an amalgamation of mutually exclusive concepts.

As he was nearing his dorm, he saw Nick standing in front of it talking to Bryce, who was one of the few students in the wing who weren’t part of Daedalus. He and Nick were both majoring in physics and started in the same year, so they shared plenty of classes together.

Seeing Bryce in his wheelchair added another layer of mismatch to Ray’s reality. Bryce was the kind of student this wing was made for, instead of the jocks who were currently outnumbering them, jocks who were at their peak health or would soon be, in a week or so. It wasn’t that Ray thought it was wrong that he and the others coinhabited the same dorms as students with physical disabilities, but the juxtaposition, among all the others, gave him the kind of vertigo where close and far came in alternating pulses.

He passed Nick and stepped into his dorm. Tossing his bag into a corner, he sat down on his bed.

Maybe the reason why he felt this way was the agent. His restlessness was largely gone, though he still had trouble falling asleep at night, which often cost him an hour or two. Maybe he just needed to relax.

And so Ray closed his eyes to do just that.

A few minutes later Nick entered the dorm, apparently done with Bryce. “You okay?”

Ray took a breath and opened his eyes. “Yeah, just a bit overwhelmed.”

“Dizziness and racing thoughts?”

Ray nodded.

“Shouldn’t last more than a few days.” Nick went to the table by the window and laid out some papers. He and Bryce must have exchanged notes from a shared class. “Your brain’s getting rewired.”

“Shit, really?”

“Mmh mmh,” Nick confirmed.

Ray knew that the solution enhanced mental abilities, but he never put together how the agent would accomplish that. “Will I still be me afterwards?”

Nick looked up. “Depends.”

“On what?”

“Which flavor of philosophy you subscribe to,” Nick smiled.

“Huh?”

“You know about the Ship of Theseus?” After receiving only a questioning glance from Ray, Nick continued. “It’s a thought experiment. Imagine you have a wooden ship. You take one piece of wood out and replace it with a new one. Is it still the same ship?”

“I guess so.”

“You do it again.” Nick paused for a moment. “Still the same ship?”

“Yeah?”

“Now you do it again and again and again. Piece by piece you replace every single part with a new one. Is it the same ship as the one at the beginning or a new ship?”

Ray mulled over the question but found no answer.

“It’s not exactly the same because our neurons aren’t replaced, but how the neurons are connected is more important than the neurons themselves anyway, so I guess it’s still relevant.”

Nick’s eyes lingered on Ray. “You need new clothes soon.”

Ray looked down on himself. His muscles were pulling his shirt tight and it slipped above his waistband increasingly often recently. Ray pulled it down again.

Now he realized the other reason why he felt uncomfortable the whole day, aside from the dizziness. He was starting to grow out of his clothes.

“You can have some of mine in the meantime.” Nick returned his attention to his papers. “Doesn’t make sense to buy any now because you’ll keep growing, but in two weeks we should go shopping.”

“We?”

Nick looked up. “I mean, unless you wanna go alone. I was merely offering.”

“It’s weird going shopping with a guy.”

Nick raised an eyebrow. “You think so?”

“You don’t think people will find it weird seeing two guys shopping for clothes?”

“I don’t care.” Nick returned his attention to his papers.

“You don’t care what other people think?”

“Should I?”

Ray opened his mouth to answer but Nick’s question gave him pause. He mulled it over. Should he?

It was Tuesday morning again, and Ray stepped into the lecture hall for the basic math course.

He stopped, looking at the seat that he had occupied every time so far. He had been trying to hide, to disappear in the last row.

He was worried about what the other students would think if they found out about him being part of Daedalus. He still wondered that, in fact. Ray had learned that the professors and the higher years were cool with it, but this class was entirely freshmen.

Nick’s words rang in his head.

Should he care what others thought of him?

He glanced over to the middle of the lecture hall. Maybe he didn’t need to hide.

Ray walked over to a couple empty seats further into the hall and sat down, not right next to anyone else, but also not at the farthest possible distance from the nearest student.

Ray brought out his notes and writing utensils as more and more students filed in, the seats around him filling up.

A man sat down next to him. He didn’t say anything at first, but then he turned to Ray as if investigating his neighbor. “Are you new? I don’t think I’ve seen you before.”

“Uh, no, I’ve—” Ray considered what to tell him and decided to keep it vague. “I’ve been around.”

“What are you studying?”

“Engineering.”

The other student’s eyes widened, apparently impressed by Ray’s major.

“You?” Ray asked.

The guy looked to the side and made a face as if it’s not as interesting. “Economics.” Then he looked at Ray again. “I’m Zoran by the way.”

“Ray.”

“Good morning!” Nick pulled up the blinds to let the sunshine in, like he did nearly every day.

“Morning,” Ray grumbled. The sleeplessness had more or less subsided. Nights were now spent sleeping rather than tossing and turning.

Still, Ray wasn’t a morning person, and so his reaction wasn’t as enthusiastic as that of Nick.

Nick made his way to the bathroom. “I trust you get up by yourself now?”

“Mmh mmh,” Ray confirmed.

“Good.” Nick stopped before opening the bathroom door. “Gym after class?”

“Mmh mmh.”

Ray heard the bathroom door close and decided to sit up to prevent himself from falling asleep again.

He kept his eyes closed. He bargained that sitting up allowed him some form of compensation for his tiredness.

Ray could tell that the initial transformation induced by the agent had more or less finished. His body was jacked and Nick had said that there should be no more mental side effects. Ray had even grown a little, the bones stretching, just a tiny bit each, but quickly accumulating several inches. He was thankful it hadn’t hurt nearly as much as it should have. There was only a little aching here and there, that he hadn’t even realized was related to his bones. In fact, he could still feel it. After all, there was one more week to go.

He also started to feel the positive effects the solution had on his mind more clearly. Concentrating in class and recalling information came much easier to him than it ever had. For the first time in his life, school felt manageable.

And his classmates had started talking to him too. It had only been two days, but no longer hiding from the other students helped Ray find new friends in multiple classes.

As he was waiting for Nick to finish, he opened his eyes, squinting against the morning sun, and smiled.

Life was good.

“All right guys.” Diego raised his voice to get everyone’s attention. “Gather around.”

Ray and the others had just entered the locker room and put down their bags, ready to change into their gear. Diego moved over to position himself next to Kenneth causing the other students from his team to assemble on the Daedalus side of the room.

“As you’ve heard last week, we’ll be forming two teams with 13 players each,” Diego continued. “The Daedalus students will be all in one team, so three of us will move over.” He motioned towards his own teammates. “Henry, Ichi and Nathan, you’ll go.”

While Henry and Ichi nodded, Nathan furrowed his brow.

“Why me?” He asked.

“These guys are pretty new to football.” Diego gestured at the freshmen. “They’re still experimenting with their positions. They’ll need good all-rounders, people who are flexible and quick to adapt to changing circumstances. And I think you three are my best men for that.”

Nathan looked away, thinking about what Diego had said.

Diego waited for a few moments. “Do you not want to?”

“No, it’s fine.”

“Then it’s decided.” He looked at the Daedalus students. “Good luck on the field.”

Diego and the other students moved back to their places to continue changing, filling the room with their usual banter.

Suddenly, the background noise was cut by a loud yelp. The room fell silent in an instant. Everyone turned to the source of the sound.

There stood Victor, shirtless, staring at a small black thing sitting between his now muscular pecs. His mouth was agape in shock and his arms raised to the side, frozen as if to not disturb what was sitting on his chest.

Ray couldn’t quite make out what he saw. Was it an insect? He took a step forward.

No.

A zipper pull.

Victor sat down on his bed and stared out the window. It was a few hours after he had discovered the zipper on his chest and he was done with classes for the day.

As he sat there and stared, the thoughts pressed down on him. He had joined the project because he was going to have the body of his dreams, for a few months at least.

Months.

It wasn’t supposed to happen this early. He and the others from his group literally just finished with the growth phase in the last days. He wanted to enjoy his body for a little while before beginning to worry about the downsides of the injection.

But now he’d barely have any time left.

Time he now spent sitting on his bed staring out the window.

Victor didn’t know how much time had passed, but when the room to his door opened, he realized it was already considerably darker than it had been when he had sat down. It wasn’t night time, but he could tell the evening had progressed.

“Hey.” Drew threw his bag into his corner of the room.

Victor did not react to Drew’s presence.

Drew didn’t notice Victor’s strange behavior. The two weren’t particularly close. Two very different personalities that just didn’t mesh well. He went into the bathroom and returned a few minutes later. Only then did he stop to take a look at Victor who still hadn’t moved an inch.

“Everything all right?”

Once again there was no reaction.

Drew waved a hand in front of him. “Hello-o, anyone home?”

When Victor still didn’t react, Drew became visibly concerned. “Did anything happen?” Drew waited a few more moments. “Dude, is anything wrong?”

Victor pulled the collar of his shirt down to reveal the zipper on his chest.

“Oh shit.” Drew took a step back. “That’s not supposed to happen in the first four months.”

“I know,” Victor finally said.

“Fuck, dude.” Drew thought for a few moments. “You should talk to Ms Beck.”

Victor simply shrugged.

“Mmh.” Drew regarded Victor for a few more moments before resuming what he was going to do in the first place.

“Oh my god, why did he fumble!” Chris shouted at the television, before turning around to the others. Mere weeks ago, Ray wouldn’t have known what Chris was talking about, but since he had football classes, he had started learning football lingo. He was sitting in front of the couch, closest to the screen. “Did you see this? He had the football and fucking fumbled.”

Ever since Victor had started to decay, he had not been the same. To distract him from his current condition, Marc had the idea to come together and watch a football game. Except for Julio and Gavin all of the freshmen had gathered in the lounge, sitting on the couch or around it.

“He was tackled by two guys,” Kenneth countered. “What was he supposed to do?”

“I dunno, but maybe not drop the ball like a hot potato?” Chris insisted. “If he’s so afraid of being tackled, maybe he shouldn’t play football in the first place.”

“Pretty sure he’s getting paid more in a year than you will ever be in your life,” Yeong chimed in.

“Exactly!” Chris gestured to the television. “And that’s why he should play better than that.”

Yeong shrugged. “Meh, who watches football for the play anyway?”

“Huh?” Chris turned around. “Why else would you watch it?”

“For the eye candy?”

There was a short pause.

“Dude, that’s a weird thing to say.”

“Is it?” Yeong insisted. After there was no answer he looked into the round. “Don’t tell me your tastes haven’t changed yet.”

Most of the freshmen looked away. It was true. Ray and the others had finished the changes to their mind and body days ago and Ray found himself staring at a man’s physique more and more often recently.

“I suppose that is one more reason to watch it now, yeah,” Kenneth agreed half-heartedly.

“I think #11 has really nice leg muscles,” Yeong continued. “What are they called?”

“Quads?” Marc offered.

“Yeah those.”

Kenneth sighed. “Personally, I think I like #23 the most.”

Ray looked at the players on the television. Truth be told, he preferred if they were out of their uniforms or at least had their helmet off. He found it hard to find the shoulder-pads obscuring the men’s natural silhouette attractive. More often he was drawn towards faces than other body parts, not that he didn’t enjoy a nice chest and butt.

Suddenly Ray’s ears went hot. He was now looking at men in a similar way he used to look at women. It felt wrong, like that wasn’t him, but also right in the way it made him feel good.

Yeong tapped Chris on his shoulder. “And you?”

“Don’t ask me that.”

“What, you’re worried we might think you’re gay?”

“Very funny.” Chris stared at the TV. “I just don’t wanna talk about it.”

Yeong rolled his eyes. “Jesus Christ, we all signed up for this. Nobody here can say that what happened to us was a surprise.”

Before anyone could reply, Victor stood up and left the lounge.

“Okay, maybe one of us can,” Yeong had to admit.

Kenneth shot him a look. “Good job, idiot.”

September

“So…” Liam started. “About what happened to Victor?”

He and the other two seniors, Shawn and Austin were currently in the Daedalus lab, waiting for Mr Lou to arrive. The news of Victor’s premature decay spread like wildfire among the Daedalus students. Through meeting the freshmen in between lectures, most of the Daedalus students already knew before classes had even ended. Ironically, Victor’s own roommate was a notable exception as he did not share many classes with the other Daedalus students that day.

Austin looked up from his notes. “Yeah?”

Liam thought about their projects from the last semester. Juniors were tasked with creating new variations of the agent to be used for the next batch of freshmen. While it sounded cruel at first, Liam and the others came to see it as an opportunity. A way to give the next batch a better chance at receiving the antidote than them, a way to make a difference.

But now he wasn’t sure anymore. In the last days anxiety had been eating at him. Half of the freshmen in each batch would get the standard agent while the other half got a modified version created by a junior from the previous semester. What if Victor was one of the freshmen who had received a modified version?

“What if his agent was one of ours?” Liam asked.

Shawn took a deep breath. “I don’t want to think about it.”

“Even so,” Austin countered. “It’s not like we did it on purpose. All of the variations were peer-reviewed.”

It was true. All proposed variations were presented by the student who synthesized it and thoroughly discussed by the entire class.

Liam looked down at his own notes from last semester. “I know but still.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Austin continued. “There’s nothing you can do now.”

“Not making me feel any better…”

Before anyone could say anything else, Mr Lou entered the class, without looking up at the students, which was uncharacteristic for him. The issue with Victor must have shook up the staff as well.

“Good morning.” He handed the three students a set of print-outs, schematics of the agent. “As you may have heard, Victor, one of the freshmen, started his decay unexpectedly early. This means we will use today’s class to look into the specific agent he received and find out why.”

Liam’s eyes scanned the schematic. He remembered the structure. It was synthesized by one of the students who had already decayed at the end of the last semester.

He breathed a sigh of relief.

Ray clicked to show the next photo.

Nothing.

Next.

Still nothing.

Ray was getting frustrated. He was browsing a porn blog on his laptop, going from one image of naked women to the next, hoping that something would catch his interest.

Suddenly he stopped. He was staring at the face of the guy making out with the woman in the photo. His head was half out of frame, only his lower jaw, nose and eye portion were showing. He clearly wasn’t intended as the object of desire and yet it was the only place Ray’s eyes were interested in.

Ray forced himself to click to the next image.

Suddenly he heard the door open and he immediately clicked the window away.

Nick threw his bag into the corner. “Hey there.”

“Hey.”

After going to the bathroom, Nick returned several minutes later and threw himself on his bed. “How do you feel?”

“I dunno.” Ray shrugged.

He wasn’t sure what to say. How did it feel to suddenly care how a man’s clothes clung to his body? To look at a man’s butt as he was walking in front? To steal a glance at the others in the locker room, only realizing that he did so when he caught himself and hoping no one else noticed?

“Weird?” He finally offered.

“Makes sense.”

Ray stared at his laptop, which now showed normal websites instead of porn. “It’s kinda surreal.”

“Gotcha.” Nick nodded. “Felt the same back then.”

“Any advice?”

Nick shrugged. “I dunno, what kind of advice can I give? There’s nothing you can do.” He thought for a moment. “Be there for him, I guess, if you’re close enough.”

“Him?”

Nick stared at Ray. “Victor?”

Oh…

Oh!

Nick was not talking about the change of sexuality. He was asking how Ray felt about seeing one of his fellow freshmen turn.

He must have noticed Ray’s realization. “What were you talking about?”

Ray rubbed his face in embarrassment. “Not important.” He felt stupid. Here he sat, being worried that his dick would no longer get excited by female bodies, while Victor was going through something much more challenging, something much more life-changing.

Ray let out a breath in amusement. Suddenly his current problems seemed so small and inconsequential in comparison.

He looked at Nick. “Remember what you told me on my first day?”

“I told you a lot of things.”

“About being gay becoming a non-issue once the first one of your group starts to decay.” Ray looked to the ground. “I get it now.”

Nick looked at him, now realizing what had Ray occupied the last few minutes or hours. He gave him a smile and a nod.

“Hey.” Marc sat down next to Victor.

Victor was sitting at the outermost corner of the lecture hall. He didn’t want to be here at all, but Ms Beck and the other students urged him to continue with class, if only to keep himself occupied.

“Hey,” Victor replied without looking up.

“How’s it going?”

Victor’s hand went to his chest, feeling the zipper pull through his hoodie. The zipper had by now grown to extend all the way down to just above his crotch where the bottom stop had formed. He could even open it, although there was no cavity behind the zipper, just skin. He still had no idea what he would turn into.

He just shrugged. “Shitty.”

“Why aren’t you sitting with the rest of us?” It was clear that Marc made the effort to make the question sound genuine and not like an accusation.

No reaction.

Marc eyed Victor. “Are you afraid people might see you decay?” He must have put together why Victor was reaching for the pull, why he was wearing his hoodie inside the building and why he was sitting as far away from everyone else as possible.

Victor sighed. “Kinda.” He shrugged. “Dunno how they’ll react.”

“I don’t think anyone will care.” Marc nodded over to Liam who was sitting with a group of senior students. “It’s not like anyone is giving Liam shit. Seems like everyone likes him.”

“Yeah, because they know him.”

“I don’t think that’s it,” Marc objected. “People seem to genuinely respect the Daedalus students, students and staff alike.”

Victor gave Marc a skeptic look, but didn’t reply, in part because he didn’t know what to say, but also because the professor just entered the lecture hall.

It wasn’t the one who was normally holding the technical writing class, who was currently sick. Instead, it was a substitute professor who Victor didn’t know.

The professor addressed the room. “Good morning, class. I am Ms Terrell. I normally teach at Renfield College but I have been invited here to stand in for Mr Drovak in the coming weeks.”

Suddenly her attention fell on something or someone in the seating area. “The young man wearing the baseball gear, would you please stand up?”

Victor saw Liam pointing to himself. “Me?”

“Yes.” Ms Terrell’s tone was rather brusque. “You.”

Liam did as he was told.

“Why are you wearing your sports gear during classes? Was there not enough time to change during the break?”

While Liam was still thinking of how to best word his reply, Ms Terrell continued.

“Don’t you find this rather disrespectful?”

Liam finally found his words. “Do you know about the Daedalus Project?”

“Of course.”

“I am not wearing baseball gear,” he explained. “I’m turning into it.”

There was a short silence as Ms Terrell realized what Liam was saying. Victor let his gaze wander across the room, over the other students. Nobody was shocked or surprised. Nobody was even looking at Liam. Everyone was focused on the professor, waiting for her to stop putting Liam on the spot and continuing with her lecture.

Maybe Marc was right.

“Well,” Ms Terrell finally continued. “You should have said something before class started. Sit down.”

Liam dropped down on his chair, visibly annoyed. Victor shared the sentiment. Instead of admitting her mistake, Ms Terrell continued putting the blame on Liam.

Even if Marc was right, her behavior didn’t fill Victor with hope. He sank down further in his seat, trying to disappear from view.

“Pablo is next,” the photographer called out as Yeong made his way back to the others.

Today was the day Ray and the other Daedalus freshmen had their photos taken for the yearbook and the binder Mr Morales had shown Ray when he was told about the project. Normally the photos would be taken a month later, after the students have had enough time to acclimatize to their new bodies, but due to Victor turning prematurely, the photographer was called on-site early.

Ray caught himself staring after Pablo, watching his muscles bulge under his shirt and jeans, and quickly looked to the ground.

Yeong joined the group. “So, anyone had any fun yet?”

Kenneth raised an eyebrow. “Fun?”

“You know, with guys?”

“Yeong.” Marc shot him a look.

“What?”

Marc nodded towards Victor, who was only really part of the group because people gathered next to him out of solidarity.

“Yeah, so?” Yeong continued. “None of us are gonna have much time to enjoy ourselves.”

Victor scoffed.

Yeong turned to him. “I didn’t mean to downplay your condition.” His voice softened. “Out of all of us, you should know best to make use of the remaining time.”

Victor glared at Yeong. “I don’t think anyone would want me.” He reached for the zipper through his hoodie.

“I don’t think that’s true,” Marc interjected.

Victor only shrugged and looked away.

“In fact,” Yeong added. “I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s guys who’re into that. Novelty and all that.”

“Not sure that makes it better though,” Kenneth chimed in.

“Eh.” Yeong shrugged. “Physical attraction is always superficial, whether it’s a fetish or not. Gotta decide for yourself where you draw the line.”

The photographer called the next student. “Gavin.”

Chris turns to Yeong. “It’s kinda funny to me that you’re the one who switches to men the quickest.”

“Why?”

“Because normally you love to complain about everything.”

“That’s not true.”

“You do complain a lot,” Kenneth pointed out.

“I only complain when there’s something to complain about,” Yeong defended himself.

Chris didn’t buy it. “Uh huh.”

“I mean, as I said before, we don’t have much time left,” Yeong continued. “What do you propose? Moping around and hating yourself until you move into the vault? What an amazing use of your time.”

Chris rolled his eyes.

In the resulting silence, Ray remembered Nick and Drew going out for clubbing. “Do you go out?”

“I did, last weekend.” Yeong crossed his arms and smirked. “Gays fucking love jocks like us.”

“Have you, like,” Ray gestured. “Done it with a guy yet?”

“Of course.”

“Dude,” Chris groaned.

“What?” Yeong challenged him. “You wanna be a virgin forever?”

“Who says I’m a virgin?”

“Are you?”

Chris did not reply.

Kenneth tried to defuse the situation. “It’s not a competition, guys.”

The photographer called the next person. “Christopher.”

Chris shot Yeong a look before he went to have his photo taken.

Yeong turned to Kenneth. “I agree, but I like to push his buttons every now and then, to keep things real. No harm done.”

“Why though?”

“Because he always wants to be the best, to show off how cool he is, but then he’s so afraid of being gay,” Yeong’s gaze fell on Victor. “As if it’s the worst that’ll happen to us.”

“There you go,” the janitor said as he opened the door to the vault. “I’ll wait in the control room.”

Victor and Austin stepped into the vault. The other freshmen had become worried about Victor and asked their mentors if they could help out. Since Austin was his mentor, it fell on him to do that.

And so Austin asked Victor to meet him at the vault. Victor had no idea what he was going to do, but if he had to guess it was probably some sort of pep talk.

Austin sat down in the middle of the vault on the carpet. “Sit down with me.”

Victor did as his mentor asked. By now the skin around his zipper had turned into black fabric and there was now a small cavity behind the zipper line, almost like a pocket running the length of his torso. The coarse texture of the fabric reminded him of a bag or backpack rather than a jacket.

Victor looked around. “Why are we here?”

“I wanted you to be surrounded by others who have already gone through the decay.”

“Great.”

“I know that you’re currently going through trying times, but I think it’s important to remember that you are not the only one, or the first.”

It was clear to Victor that Austin followed a script. There was little emotion in his words. It felt rehearsed, or cited from elsewhere.

“Remember what Hunter said,” Austin continued. “Aim for acceptance.”

Victor’s eyes fell on the skateboard in the corner.

“This is where we will all go eventually,” Austin gestured around the vault. “So there is no point in lamenting what’s going to happen.”

“What about those who get the antidote?”

“Those are exceptions.”

“Like those whose decay starts too early?”

“Uh,” Austin hesitated. “Yeah, but—”

“Then what does it matter what happens to everyone else?” Victor picked at the carpet below him. “I’m not everyone else.”

Austin scratched his head. Victor must have caught him off-guard. “True, your situation is a little unique, but—”

“Why me?”

“Mmh?”

Victor looked Austin in the eyes. “Why me of all people?”

“Well, it was random,” Austin replied. “Could have happened to anyone. It’s nothing you could have changed or can change.”

Victor looked away. “That doesn’t make me feel better at all.”

Austin thought for a moment. “Well, I just think you need to remember that the decay happens to all of us, or most of us and—”

“I know that.”

“-and that there is nothing you can do about it, so—”

“I know I can’t do anything about that!” Victor shouted and got up to his feet. “I know what is happening to me! I know that it is too early and I know I cannot do anything to stop it! These are the reasons why I feel like fucking shit!”

Victor gathered his thoughts for a moment and then made his way to the door. “You’re not helping.”

October

“Ah yeah, I heard about it,” Zoran said. “That’s why soldiers are told to break step on bridges, right?”

It was just before math class again and Ray was talking with some of his fellow students about their subjects. Currently, he was talking about things he learned in his engineering classes.

“Exactly,” Ray explained. “It’s kinda the same thing that makes a glass shatter when it’s exposed to a specific sound.”

“Isn’t that also what destroyed the Tacoma bridge?” Another student asked. “Because the wind had the same frequency as the bridge?”

“No, that’s actually funny. Our professor used it as a counter example,” Ray clarified. “At the time they thought that was the case, but what actually happened was aeroelastic flutter.”

“What’s that?” Zoran wanted to know.

“So, when wind passes over an object, it can slightly deform it, like if wind passes under a bridge, it creates lift, which causes torsion. After some point the torsion reverses because the forces returning the bridge into shape are greater than the wind can deform it. But it doesn’t return back to its original position because momentum creates torsion into the other direction, a little bit like how a diving board in a pool starts wobbling after you have jumped off.

“But then,” Ray continued. “When the bridge deforms into the other direction, the wind blows onto that side and adds its energy to the system. Like how a child moving its legs in tandem with the movement of a swing increases the momentum, the momentum of the bridge’s torsion creates a feedback loop with the wind. Each time the bridge swings back, the wind adds its energy to the momentum of the deformation.” Ray shrugged. “Eventually the structural integrity fails and the support cables snap, causing the whole bridge to collapse.”

“Huh.”

“It’s also a hazard for aviation, because this phenomenon can break plane wings.”

“Interesting,” Zoran mused. “Is it like a hobby of yours?”

“Engineering? Nah, only started here.”

“Really? You know more than what I expect to be taught in what, two months?”

Ray shrugged. “I read up on stuff a bit when studying.”

“Brains and brawns, wow,” another student laughed. “Looks like you’re winning at life.”

“Leave a little for us,” Zoran joked.

Ray blushed. He didn’t know what to say. Their reactions felt so unearned, so completely not in sync with what he knew he really was, or had been like until recently, at the very least.

Was he now winning at life? Was he one of those people everyone looked up to?

They shouldn’t, he thought. If only they knew that they were wrong about him. That he actually envied them. They knew what they wanted out of life where they were going and what they were doing, while Ray was stumbling through life blindly.

If only they knew how lost he really was.

“Morning.” Selena’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts as she walked past the group.

Ray looked after her. “Morning.”

“What’s the matter, Chris?” Emu teased. “Did my body distract you again?”

Chris only grumbled in response.

The players from Kenneth’s and Diego’s team were currently taking a breather between practice games. Diego’s team had won, as usual, though recently his team’s victories are getting more and more hard earned. For now the players mingled and caught their breath, but in a few minutes, they would start the next practice, well everyone except for the players in reserve, which Victor was as well.

In truth, Victor wasn’t going to play. Mr McCarthy had told him as much. He probably realized that Victor wouldn’t really put much effort into it. Nevertheless he had still insisted that Victor was present, likely to get him out of his room and keep him occupied.

And so Victor sat at the sides, a small distance away from the other reserve players.

Marc sat down next to him. “How’s it going?” He was still out of breath from the game.

Victor shrugged. “Nothing changed.”

“You’re not gonna play?”

“No.”

Marc investigated him. “Do you…” He hesitated. “Do you already know what you’ll become?”

“What does it matter?”

If Victor had to be honest, the question had occupied him a lot in the last days. Although his decay had progressed, and the fabric texture now covered more of his skin, he wasn’t closer to figuring out what kind of item he would turn into. A strip of thicker fabric was running down his back, so he ruled out becoming a jacket or a backpack. Maybe a pencil case?

“Sorry.”

McCarthy’s trill cut the air. “Five more minutes!”

“Hey hey, Chris,” Emu continued. “My eyes are up here.”

Chris didn’t enjoy Emu’s banter. “Shut up.”

“Acting disinterested, huh? Don’t worry, I don’t mind gays drooling over my body.” Emu grinned. “I see it as a compliment.”

“Fuck you.”

“Emu!” Diego scolded. “Get over here.”

Kenneth gestured Marc over for a huddle as well.

Marc got up, but before he left, he turned around. “Hey, Victor?”

“Yeah?”

“No matter what, you’re still part of the team, okay?”

Victor looked down. “Sure.”

With that, he jogged over to the other players, leaving Victor at the sidelines.

“You’re not gonna dance?” Nick asked Ray over the loud music. He and Qadir had just returned from the dance floor to where Ray was standing at a table.

Ray shook his head and grabbed his drink as if it gave him a reason not to move from his spot. He had finally asked Nick and Drew to take him out clubbing when they would go, but now that he was here he didn’t feel all that ready, not because he didn’t want to, but because of all the men around. He knew that he was being checked out and the thought made him anxious.

Nick leaned forward. “You’re not gonna meet anyone just standing here.”

Ray looked over to the dance floor. Yeong had come too. He and Drew were currently dancing, though not with each other. Yeong was particularly energetic, constantly moving through the crowd.

Nick raised an eyebrow. “Nervous?”

Ray could only produce an anxious smile.

Nick thought for a moment, before he continued. “It’s like going into the water, you know. If you only stand by the edge wondering how cold it is, you’ll never get inside.” He smirked. “You need to get wet.”

When Ray only looked at Nick but didn’t reply, the junior shrugged and smiled.

A few moments later Drew appeared.

“Dude,” he turned to Ray. “Did you only come here to drink?”

Ray looked down at the longdrink in his hand.

Nick leaned over to Drew. “Too nervous.”

“Bah! Don’t think too much, just do it.” Drew put a hand on Ray’s back and nodded towards the dance floor. “Come on.”

Ray took a deep breath. Maybe they were right. Maybe he just had to go and start and everything else would come by itself.

He nodded and grabbed his drink, making his way to the dance floor.

At first he felt even more awkward than usual, but then men started to turn to him, smiling and dancing. Their body language invited him to dance with them, but none of them caught his attention.

Still, it boosted his confidence slightly, just enough to make him more comfortable on the dance floor. He used it to make his way further through the crowd. At one point he crossed paths with Yeong, though they didn’t linger, going their own paths.

Suddenly someone appeared who caught Ray’s eyes. The guy began dancing next to Ray and for the first time this evening, Ray wanted to dance with him.

After a few minutes the guy leaned over. “You’re cute.”

Ray gulped. He had never been complimented like that by a guy.

Shit, he had never been complimented like that, period.

“Thanks,” Ray blurted out. “You too.”

He mentally slapped himself. ‘You too.’? Do you say that to someone flirting with you? It sounded like the guy had wished him a nice evening.

Nevertheless, the other man didn’t seem to mind. “Wanna have some fun?”

Fun? Ray was caught off-guard. Getting himself to dance was hard enough. Getting here in the first place took some courage. But now the guy was asking to have sex?

Ray wanted to make sure. “You mean…?”

“You know.” The guy winked.

Ray realized it wasn’t the guy’s fault, but he felt his anxiety return nonetheless. He suddenly didn’t feel like dancing any longer.

Ray shook his head. “Sorry.” He stepped away and made his way back to his friends.

Victor sat in the lounge. It was Monday and while most of the students had classes, the ones from the Daedalus project only had the class with Mr Lou, which wasn’t enough to occupy them for the whole day, especially as the different years had it at different time slots.

The others were currently studying or using the time otherwise to be productive, but Victor didn’t see the point given that he wouldn’t have much more time anyway and he didn’t want to sit in his dorm together with Drew.

As a result, he had the lounge all to himself right now.

By now his entire torso had hollowed out and the fabric texture had started to spread up his arms and legs, while his neck had shortened, causing his chin to touch the top of his torso most of the time. Even his spine had turned into a strap running from his crotch to the back of his head. It had detached from his torso two days ago, which almost gave him a heart attack when he woke up in the morning, feeling what used to be his spine swinging back and forth.

Luckily all parts that had turned inanimate were no longer susceptible to injury and had no metabolic needs so while it felt deeply alarming it was entirely benign.

On his sides two more pockets with zippers had formed. Above them was a small white label of an unidentified brand.

He was turning into a duffel bag.

Since his torso was now entirely hollow and the walls of his body made of fabric, he needed to stuff his insides with linen so he wouldn’t collapse in on himself.

Someone entered the lounge.

Seconds later, Liam sat down next to Victor. “Austin told me about your talk in the vault.”

“So what did he say?”

“That he tried to help you and you didn’t take it as well as he had hoped.”

Victor looked up at the senior. If his own torso hadn’t shortened, he wouldn’t have had to. Liam’s own decay had progressed as well. It seemed as if all the parts that he would become were more or less fully formed. All that was left were the human parts in between that kept shrinking in the last weeks.

Liam’s arms and legs had shortened and thinned, as well as his torso. Even his face had receded back into his helmet, ending up towards the inner back of it, giving Liam an extremely narrow field of view, which, together with the rest of his changes caused him to be exempt from sports classes.

“What did he expect?” Victor rolled his eyes.

“Don’t mind Austin.” Liam let out an amused breath. “He’s very smart when you need a problem solved, but people? Yeah he’s bad at that.”

“So are you gonna tell me the same things but better?”

“No.”

“Then why did you want to talk to me?”

Liam looked down at Victor. “Because I think you might want someone to talk to.”

There was no response from Victor.

“The others don’t know what to do with you,” Liam continued. “Drew is not the helping type and while your fellow freshmen want to help, they are currently too occupied with their own changes. Austin doesn’t really know how to handle people in general and Shawn—”

He paused for a moment.

“Shawn has his own baggage to unpack right now.” Liam gathered his thoughts. “I don’t know what it’s like to decay this early, but I do know what it’s like to decay. So if you need someone to vent, I’ll listen.”

Victor pulled his torso together as if to stop his insides from spilling out, even though he was zipped up.

“What I’m trying to say is,” Liam put his mitt on what passed as Victor’s shoulder. “If you need a friend, I’m here.”

It took some moments for Victor to reply.

“Thanks.”

Another weekend, another night out at the club like last time.

This time Ray got into the rhythm much quicker. Sure the way it ended last time was rather awkward, but until then Ray had fun nonetheless.

He danced with a couple men, but nobody really stuck.

Then he saw the guy from last time, the one who danced with him. Despite how it ended, Ray was still interested and he slowly made his way towards the man.

Once the guy saw Ray, his eyes lit up. He leaned over so Ray could hear him. “Sorry about last time.”

Ray waved his apology away. “Was my fault.”

The man produced a disagreeing smile.

They danced for a little while, before the man raised his empty glass and pointed at it, nodding to the bar. Ray understood and followed him.

After they had ordered their drinks, the man introduced himself. “I’m Octavio by the way.”

“Ray.”

“I like that. Short and sweet.”

Ray bobbed his head left and right. “Well, it’s short for Raymond.”

“Ah, still sweet.” Octavio smiled. “Talked myself into a corner there, didn’t I?”

Ray laughed. “But yeah, about last time—”

Octavio waved him off. “It’s fine. I just hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable.”

Ray shook his head and tried to find the right words. “I’m a bit… new to this whole…”

Octavio seemed to understand. Then he leaned in closer. “Can I ask you a question?”

Ray nodded.

“Are you a Daedalus student?”

Ray froze. He had always feared being asked that question and now he had.

Ray confirmed with a nod. “You’re from Solberg University?”

Octavio shook his head. “You guys frequent this club, is all.”

A short pause.

“So,” Octavio continued. “You’re here to try out the gay life?”

Ray produced a sheepish smile. “Yeah.”

“And how do you like it so far?”

Ray looked to the side to think. He didn’t really know. “It’s okay.”

Octavio smiled, possibly expecting the answer or having heard it before.

Truth be told, Ray hadn’t seen much yet, and talking with Octavio made him curious. He leaned forward. “Does your offer still stand?”

“You mean..?” Octavio smirked.

Ray only produced a nervous smile.

“Sure,” Octavio accepted. “I live close by. Wanna come to my place?”

Ray swallowed. “Yeah.”

“All right follow me.”

Before they moved out of the club, Octavio led Ray back to the table where Nick and the others were standing.

“Hey, guys,” Octavio began. “Mind if I take your friend here for a ride?”

Ray’s ears felt hot. Did Octavio really have to tell the others?

Nick raised his glass. “Not at all.”

“Knock him out, ‘Tavvy,” Drew added.

Octavio laughed. “I think we’ll take it slow today.”

Once out of the club, Ray turned to Octavio as they walked. “Why did you tell them that we would…”

“Hook up?” Octavio shrugged. “Maybe it’s me being paranoid, but I always let my friends know when I’m meeting a guy at his place. And I like to do it in reverse out of principle.”

Ray gulped. “Did anything ever happen?”

“Not to me or anyone I know, but you hear stories. You can never be too careful, I suppose.”

“Mmh.” Ray thought for a moment. “Did you know the others?”

“Of course,” Octavio laughed. “What, you think Drew would call me ‘Tavvy if we were strangers?”

“Did you…”

“Yeah, with Nick, Drew, some others last year.”

Ray didn’t say anything. Was it weird that he was going to hook up with a guy who had already fucked his roommate? He didn’t know.

“Guess I have a thing for you Daedalus people,” Octavio added.

“Why?”

Octavio laughed again. “Straight guys turned gay jocks? Honey, that’s like every gay man’s wet dream.”

Ray didn’t say anything.

“That may have come out wrong,” Octavio backpedaled. “Doesn’t mean that I don’t find you cute otherwise. It’s just a nice bonus.” He winked.

“Does that mean you’re not looking for anything long term?”

“Nah, I’m enjoying the single life.” He looked at Ray. “Were you looking for more than that?”

“I dunno, maybe?”

“Aw, I’m sorry. We can still call it off if you want?”

“No no, I didn’t mean it like that.” Ray thought for a moment. “I would like to try it out. Is that a good reason?”

Octavio smiled. “As good a reason as any.”

They reached Octavio’s apartment and went inside where Ray was led to the bedroom. The two men sat down and Octavio slowly moved his face closer until they both kissed.

He moved his face away again and waited for Ray to open his eyes.

“First kiss?”

Ray nodded.

“Did you like it?”

“Yes.”

Octavio went in for another kiss and eventually the two men lay down, embracing each other.

After some minutes, Octavio pulled away again. “Wanna do more than just kissing?”

Ray nodded again.

“Do you have a condom with you?”

“Yeah.”

He positioned himself above Ray, sitting on his thighs. “All right, I figure it’s easiest if I bottom today.”

“But, you’re sitting on me?”

Octavio laughed. “It’s not about position, it’s about who receives and who takes.”

“Ahh.”

Octavio fumbled with Ray’s zipper, while keeping eye contact.

Ray’s eyes meanwhile were darting back and forth. One half of his mind told him not to check out another guy too obviously. The other half didn’t want to look away.

Octavio must have noticed this as he stopped and leaned down. “Okay, since this is your first time, here’s the most important thing to remember when having sex.”

Ray swallowed. “Yeah?”

“Relax.”

Victor sat on the side of the skating park watching Liam do his tricks.

It was almost a week after their talk in the lounge and although they hadn’t talked, it had already made Victor feel a lot better about everything. Just knowing that someone else was there was enough to keep his dark thoughts in check.

His decay had progressed further and he was now more duffel bag than human. His arms and legs had shortened and were now entirely made of black fabric, the kind used for straps, though they still retained their shape. His neck had receded entirely into his torso and part of his head did as well, making him look up at an angle, unless he pulled down the front of his upper body.

Liam still looked largely the same. His slow decay made changes between days near imperceptible. Still, when Victor paid attention, he could tell that the senior’s arms and legs had shortened even more. With the round head and shortened torso and limbs, Liam’s silhouette against the evening sky reminded Victor of a chibi character. The thought made him smile.

Eventually Liam stopped, having noticed Victor sitting at the side.

Liam walked over and sat down next to Victor. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

“How’s it going?”

Victor didn’t reply, which was all Liam needed to know.

After a few moments Victor did speak up, however. “Thanks for the talk on Monday, by the way.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“I didn’t know you’re into skating.”

“I’m not really.” Liam looked at his skateboard. “But I enjoy spending time with him.”

“Him?”

Liam angled the skateboard so that Victor could see the PTO card attached to it.

“Hunter?” Victor blurted out.

“Yeah, we’re boyfriends.”

“Ah.”

For a few moments, the two sat in silence.

Finally, Victor looked up again. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“The decay,” Victor began. “How did you feel when it started?”

Liam looked at the horizon. “Like the world just stops spinning for a second. The realization hits you with full force in a single moment.” A short pause. “And then it just continues as you realize that it’s happening and can’t be stopped. And after a while it becomes a new normal.”

“Still don’t think it’s normal.”

“I think it might have been different for me because my decay is so slow.” Liam looked at Victor. “In six days I’ll have the longest decay of any Daedalus student ever. And I don’t think I’ll be finished by then, so...”

“Did you think your life was over when you started to decay?”

“No, I don’t like to see it that way. It’s more like joining the others, you know. Joining Hunter.” Liam thought for a moment. “It might be different for you because you haven’t made any friends yet who decayed before you did. Normally it’s the upper years that decay before the freshmen do.” A short pause. “But for the rest of us it’s more like…” He struggled for the right word.

“A rite of passage?”

“Eh, more like a ‘Hey guys, I’m here too, now.’ if that makes any sense.”

“It doesn’t.”

Liam let out a short chuckle. “Can’t explain it better.”

There was a short pause, before Victor spoke up. “Do you think they’ll ever find a way to make us human again?”

Liam shrugged. “I hope so.”

“What would you do, if they turned you back?”

“Why, continue my classes of course, get my degree.”

“What major did you pick?”

“Education.” Liam looked into the distance. “Wanted to become a teacher.”

“I think you’d make a good one.”

“Thanks.” A short pause. “What about you?”

“Computer science,” Victor scoffed. “We haven’t even coded anything yet and now I never will.”

“Who knows.” Liam looked down at the freshman. “Maybe one day.”

Victor sat in silence. Liam had just given him something that he thought he had lost ever since his decay had started.

Hope.

“Oh my god, that’s hilarious,” Zoran commented on another student’s anecdote.

Ray was currently attending the university’s Halloween party. Like most of the other Daedalus freshmen’s costumes, his was relatively simple: A zombie. Up until a couple weeks ago most of them weren’t big on parties anyway, some of them still weren’t, and between buying regular clothes and coming to terms with their changes, they didn’t have much time to prepare.

He was standing with a couple students he knew from the math and engineering classes, among them Zoran, who quickly had become his closest friend outside Nick and some of the other Daedalus students.

“Something similar happened in business class,” Ray began his own anecdote. “So, before class, Ms Leigh, our professor, overheard some girls gossiping loudly, and the first thing she said said after starting class was ‘It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.’”

“Oh shit,” Zoran interjected.

“And then—” He couldn’t suppress a laugh. “And then one of the girls asked: ‘Remove all doubt from what?’”

One of the other students howled. “No!”

“Yes!”

“Oh my fucking god, that’s amazing,” another student exclaimed.

The group continued laughing for a few moments.

Ray looked at his cup. “I’m gonna go and get a refill.”

He went over to the drinks section of the buffet and helped himself to another cup of punch.

Someone appeared next to him. “Hey.”

Ray turned to see Selena, wearing what must have been a mad scientist costume, with a lab coat and even a wig of short dark hair with white streaks.

“Hey,” Ray replied.

“You look good.” She tilted her head. “Minus the makeup.” Then her eyes widened. “Not that I mean your costume looks bad, I was just saying—”

“I get it.” Ray pointed to his face. “Because I’m a zombie.”

Selena smiled, as awkwardly as Ray felt. “You’ve changed quite a bit in the last few weeks.”

“Guess I have.”

“I just wanted to ask, if maybe, you want to go for a drink some time?”

Ray stared at the ground. He had always wished a girl would ask him that. And now… “Are you asking me out for a date?”

“Sure.” Selena seemed to pick up on his lack of enthusiasm. “I mean, it was—”

“I’m a Daedalus student,” he blurted out.

He saw the gears in Selena’s head turning. “Oh… I see.”

There was an awkward silence.

“Sorry.” Ray made his way back to his group.

Liam made his way outside. He needed a break. It was like everyone wanted to say goodbye to him and while he appreciated it, it became a little overwhelming after a while.

The fact that he was now about one meter tall and surrounded by, from his perspective, giants didn’t help either.

There was however one person he hadn’t talked to yet this entire time, and he had an inkling where that person could be.

Liam rounded a corner and sure enough, there was someone sitting on a small stone wall, looking over the central plaza. Even in the dim light he could tell who it was.

“Hey there.” He sat down next to Shawn.

Due to his current state of decay, Liam’s costume wasn’t very elaborate. He painted his helmet like a stag beetle and even added a pair of pincers to the front. Otherwise he wore green-coloured rags to imply vegetation. From above he looked like a stag beetle sitting on a pile of leaves or grass. It looked a little silly, sure, but that was exactly the look he was trying to go for. Something to lighten the mood given his upcoming PTO admission.

Shawn meanwhile was dressed like a spartan.

“Hey.” Shawn produced an audible sniff.

“Everything all right?”

“Sure.”

“Why don’t I believe that?”

Shawn looked to the side. “I am not going to bother you with my life while you’re days away from landing in the vault.”

“What if I insist?”

Shawn hung his head in defeat. “It’s fucking stupid anyway.”

“Try me.”

“I- I dunno.” Shawn took a deep breath. “I see one after the other of our group decay and there’s nothing I can do. I want to help and I can’t.” He put his head in his hands. “And everytime it feels worse.”

Liam put his mitt on Shawn’s back. “It doesn’t sound stupid at all to me.”

“I’m the team’s captain. People are relying on me.” He started sobbing. “But there’s nothing I can do. How am I supposed to help you?”

“I think that’s the wrong question to ask.”

Finally Shawn turned to look directly at Liam. “Huh?”

“You always wanted to fix everything, to be in control.” Liam let the words sink in. “But there are some things we cannot control. And instead of losing your mind over things you can’t change, you just need to accept that it’s happening and maybe try to find the silver linings.”

For a few moments, the two seniors sat in silence.

Eventually, Liam pulled something out from his pocket and presented it in his open mitt. It was a colorful piece of string, or rather, multiple strings strung together to form a longer one.

It was a piece of tradition from Liam’s and Shawn’s group. Whenever a student started his decay, he was given the string. He would then add another piece to it, increasing its length. It started out as an idle activity but after the second student it became a symbol of solidarity, a means to say ‘We’re in this together.’

“I guess it’s time I’ll return this to you.” Liam offered Shawn the string.

“Already got your PTO admission date?”

“Tomorrow.”

Shawn regarded the string for a few moments, before taking it.

He pocketed the string and went in for a hug.

Ray was standing outside the entrance together with some others. It was late and as people started leaving, students began to gather outside.

Someone walking out of the entrance caught Ray’s eyes. It was Selena. It looked like she was leaving for the dorms.

He jogged after her. “Selena?”

She stopped and turned to face him. “Yeah?”

There was something Ray wanted to ask her, but he was struggling to find the right words. “Why now?”

“Why now what?”

“Why are you asking me out now?” Ray looked at her. “No one ever did before I came here and now that I look like this I’ve had two people flirt with me. Is it really just the muscles? Is that all people care about?”

“Ray,” Her voice was warm. “If muscles were all I cared about, I would have asked you out weeks ago.”

“Then what changed?”

“What changed?” Selena echoed his question. “You changed, Ray. Are you not aware of how much?”

Ray only looked at her.

“When I first met you,” Selena continued. “I thought you were kinda cute.” A short pause. “But whenever I tried to start a conversation you never really engaged. You shied away from any interaction. What was I supposed to do?”

Ray stared at the ground.

“And recently I’ve been seeing you socializing with people and I figured why not try again?” Selena tilted her head without accusation on her face. “Maybe the problem why nobody asked you out before wasn’t how you looked, but how you acted.”

Realization dawned inside Ray.

“I hope you have better luck with men. I really do,” Selena added. “And maybe it is good to remember that most people aren’t as superficial as you believe.”

When Ray didn’t reply, Selena began to turn and leave. “Good night, Ray.”

November

“Liam.” Ms Beck gestured for the senior to enter the room.

Liam looked at Victor, who was sitting on a tray with wheels next to him. His entire body had turned into a duffel bag, with his face still visible on one end. His arms and legs still largely retained their shape but were merged together, hand to foot, which prevented him from moving.

He himself was probably only days, maybe hours, away from falling into the pieces of equipment he would become: A catcher’s mitt, body and leg armor, helmet and cleats. The mitt was directly attached to his armor’s shoulder while his left arm had disappeared entirely. Each step was awkward as all the connections between his various pieces were fabric only, no muscle, no bone. Only thin strands of sinew, made of cotton and other fabrics, allowed him to move his joints.

The staff had offered him a wheelchair, but Liam had insisted on walking by himself. He wanted to enjoy using his own legs, or what was left of them, for as long as he could.

He made his way to Ms Beck’s office where Mr Lou and Mr Morales were already waiting.

Liam hopped onto his chair while Ms Beck pulled out a form for Liam’s PTO admission.

“How are you feeling?” She asked.

Liam attempted a shrug. “Okay, I guess.”

“There is no good way to begin this, so let’s just get started.” She looked at the first field. “Your place of residence will be the vault. Is that okay for you?”

“Yes.”

“As you already know, each PTO will be brought to the communication room each semester, but six months is a long time.” Ms Beck looked at Liam. “Is there something you want us to tell your friends and family?”

Liam shook his head. “Nothing that I haven’t already or that can’t wait a few months.”

“All right.” She went to the next field. “Is there someone you consent to being used by?”

Liam thought for a moment. His first thought was Hunter, but he was a PTO himself. “If there is going to be a Daedalus baseball team in the future, I’m okay with being their gear.”

“Since we don’t have any plans for that right now,” Mr Lou interjected. “We would get back to you if that scenario would arise.”

“Sure.”

“And lastly,” Ms Beck continued. “Is there anything else you would like to ask of us?”

“Can I be put next to Hunter?”

“Of course.” Ms Beck smiled. “Anything else?”

Liam shook his head.

“Do you want to stay in your dorm until the decay has finished?”

“Yes, please.”

“Understood.” Ms Beck and the others got up. “Then that’s it already.” Mr Lou helped Liam get up from the chair.

Before he could leave, Mr Morales spoke up. “Thank you, Liam.” He smiled. “Hopefully one day we’ll find a way to reverse the decay.”

The senior only nodded and made his way outside.

“Do you need help getting back?” Ms Beck asked Liam.

“No, I’m good.”

“Okay.” She turned to the freshman. “Victor.”

Mr Lou began wheeling Victor into the room.

“Liam!” Victor shouted, causing Mr Lou to stop and turn the tray so the two students could see each other.

“Yeah?”

“Can I be next to you in the vault?”

Liam smiled. There would be enough room besides Hunter. “Of course.”

Victor smiled back and was moved into the room for his own PTO admission.

Mr Morales leafed through Victor’s file while he was waiting.

It wasn’t the only file on his desk. There was also Liam’s, but Liam’s decay was only extraordinary in that it broke a new record: Longest decay to date. However, that wasn’t worrying. If anything, it might be a promising step towards delaying the decay until the antidote can be given.

Victor, however—

A knock on his door pulled Mr Morales from his thoughts. “Come in.”

The door opened and Mr Lou peeked inside. “You wanted to talk to me?”

“Yes,” The vice principal motioned to the chair in front of his desk. “Just wanted an update on things.”

“Already?” Mr Lou sat down. “Thought we’d have it in December.”

“Yeah. Well.” Mr Morales put down Victor’s file so Mr Lou could see it. “I decided to have one now due to recent events.”

“I see.”

“Any idea what happened?”

“Well,” Mr Lou gestured and breathed out. “We overlooked something. Simple as that.”

“Overlooked something?”

Mr Lou sighed. “It was one of those things you just don’t think about because it literally never comes up. I mean, I didn’t even catch it once I knew what had happened. It was Austin who figured it out when we analyzed Victor’s agent last month.”

“So what was the issue?”

“Remember the J-bend?”

Mr Morales thought back to his time when he was the head researcher. The J-bend was a tiny appendix-like part of the agent molecule near its center, named this way due to its shape. “Yes.”

“Well,” Mr Lou continued. “The variation we used attached a hydrocarbon chain to the J-bend to serve as a reservoir for when the agent molecule is damaged. It was a pretty genius idea. How do you delay the decay? By making the molecule self-repairing.”

“But?”

“See, you’re not thinking about it either.”

“Well, it’s been some time,” Mr Morales defended himself.

“The J-bend changes shape in higher temperatures, right around body temperature—”

“Right.”

“—Which, normally isn’t a problem, because it’s too short to affect anything. But when you attach a hydrocarbon chain to it,” Mr Lou shrugged in defeat. “The deformation starts to push it into other parts of the agent, destabilizing it.”

“You didn’t test it at body temperature?”

“We do it all the time, but the destabilization wasn’t instant. We saw it in Victor’s blood samples. His agent was stable for two weeks after the initial transformation had finished. We cannot keep human tissues or organs alive for that long.”

“Maybe we need simulations then.”

Mr Lou waved the suggestion aside. “Simulations are only as good as our knowledge of the systems they model.”

“And we don’t know enough.”

“We don’t know anything, Carlos.” Mr Lou leaned forward. “Why do the subjects turn into fabricated objects? Why do none of the brands exist? Why does the agent change the subjects’ mental abilities to something we consider desirable, but then changes the sexuality? How does the agent even know what is desirable?”

Mr Morales didn’t say anything, for he did not have any answers either.

“Millions of years of evolution have shaped our biology to prioritize fat cells over muscle cells,” Mr Lou continued. “Because being weak and alive is better than being strong and starved to death. And yet the agent does the reverse.” He looked at the vice principal. “It’s almost as if it has a mind of its own.”

A short pause, before Mr Lou continued. “And we don’t even know where it came from.”

“You still think it’s aliens?”

“I never thought it’s aliens. Why would aliens turn people into human objects, instead of, oh I don’t know, alien objects?”

“A military experiment then?” Mr Morales offered.

“If it was, why’d they give it to us to test it?”

“So what’s your suspicion?”

Mr Lou shrugged. “I don’t have one.”

“Come on, Scott, you must have an opinion.”

“Fine, if you were to put a hypothetical gun to my head and demand an answer, I’d have to go with ‘glitch in reality’.” Mr Lou smirked. “Maybe this is finally proof that we live in a simulation.”

Mr Morales let out a short laugh.

“None of this would explain anything anyway,” Mr Lou conceded. “Even if it was aliens, they could only synthesize a molecule that is permissible by the laws of the universe. And synthesizing it is actually fairly simple, once you know what exactly you need. It’s not like we need some special exotic matter that fell from the sky, or a nanomachine or whatever.”

Mr Morales nodded in agreement but decided to change the topic. “And the idea with the hydrocarbon chain cannot be put elsewhere?”

Mr Lou shook his head. “No. The J-bend is the only spot that works: Central to the molecule to distribute the replacement atoms but still nestled inside a largely non-reactive core. I went with the juniors over it and we can’t find another spot for that purpose.”

“I see.” Ever since he had stepped down as head researcher, he ceded all control over the project to Mr Lou. All he could do at this point was give suggestions, not that he didn’t think his colleague knew best anyway. “How are the students by the way?”

“The juniors?”

Mr Morales rolled his eyes. “The freshmen, mainly.”

Mr Lou shrugged. “You’d have to ask Melissa for a professional evaluation.”

“You’re working with them much more closely.”

“I mean, Daedalus classes have definitely been more…”

“Sober?” Mr Morales offered.

“Sober.” Mr Lou nodded. “It’s not much worse than it was with every batch of students, but it’s definitely noticeable, yeah.”

“Mmh.”

“Honestly, I’m more concerned about Shawn.”

“Shawn?” Mr Morales furrowed his brow. “Why?”

Mr Lou put up his hands in defense. “Again, ask Melissa for an informed opinion, but… He’s been a lot quieter and subdued recently. It happened every time one of his group decayed, and each time it got slightly worse.”

“You think it’s survivor guilt?”

“Possible. He was the team’s captain after all.”

“Mmh.”

“I think…” Mr Lou looked Mr Morales in the eyes, giving him the impression that his colleague wasn’t exclusively talking about Shawn. “I think he’s feeling responsible for what happened.”

“Hey Gavin,” Kenneth stopped his fellow freshman from leaving the locker room. “Mind staying for a little? I wanted to talk to you guys.”

“About what?”

Kenneth nodded to Diego’s group. “I’ll tell you once the others are gone.”

Gavin only rolled his eyes in response but stayed.

“You need us too?” Nathan asked.

“Nah.” Kenneth motioned to the freshmen. “Only us guys.”

Emu smirked. “You guys are having some secret Daedalus meeting?”

Kenneth’s face remained stoic. “Something like that.”

“Gay.”

“Emu!” Diego scolded.

“It was just a joke, jeez.” Emu returned his attention to his locker. “Can nobody take a joke these days?”

Kenneth saw Chris give Emu the side-eyes. It had become clear in the past weeks that Chris did not enjoy Emu’s antics.

Diego meanwhile gave Kenneth a knowing look. Kenneth hadn’t told him, so Diego must have correctly read the room or maybe he had heard the news and connected the dots.

“All right men,” Diego exclaimed. “You heard Kenneth, hurry up.”

One by one the sophomores filed out of the locker room, leaving the nine remaining Daedalus freshmen to themselves.

Kenneth turned to his group. “All right, uh, not sure how to say this. I just wanted to let you guys know that we’re a team and we’re all in this together, okay?”

Gavin seemed annoyed. “If this is just a regular peptalk, why did we have to wait?”

“It’s about Victor, isn’t it?” Yeong chimed in.

“Yeah,” Kenneth had to admit.

Marc stepped forward. “I tried to talk to Victor while he was decaying, but… I dunno, he just kinda kept to himself and isolated himself from the group more and more, so what we’re trying to say is,” he motioned to Kenneth and himself. “No matter what happens, we’re a team and we’ll help each other, all right?”

He extended an arm forward and Kenneth put his own hand on Marc’s to symbolize unity. “Let’s make it through this together.”

Yeong and Chris joined quickly, followed by Ray, Pablo, Julio and finally Fabian.

Everyone looked at Gavin.

“Come on.” Kenneth nodded to their hands in the center. “You’re part of the team, too.”

A moment passed as Gavin looked at the hands, before he moved his own near the center without touching the others.

Kenneth smiled. It was close enough to count.

“Have you considered visiting him then?” Ms Beck probed.

Ray was currently sitting in her office, for their weekly talk. Naturally, the topic of Victor came up. It shook the entire group of freshmen and she had talked to all of them about it, often because they brought up the topic themselves. Ray was no exception.

“No, not really.”

Ms Beck thought for a moment. “Did you talk to Marc about Victor?”

Ray seemed confused. “No.”

For a moment Ms Beck considered how much she should tell Ray, but she figured Marc didn’t consider it a secret, especially since all talks with PTOs in the vault must be formally requested and were supervised by the janitor.

“Well, he did visit him this week,” she revealed.

“Yeah, but Victor and I weren’t that close.”

“Aren’t,” Ms Beck gently corrected him. “And neither are Marc and Victor. It was too early for any of you to form a close bond.”

Ray thought for a moment. “Do you think I should talk to him?”

“There is no right or wrong here.” Ms Beck smiled. “But imagine the following: The roles are reversed and you’re in the vault instead of Victor. Everything else being the same as it is now, would you be happy if Victor, or any of the others for that matter, came to visit?”

Ray thought for a few seconds, his eyes moving back and forth. “Maybe.”

A non-committal answer, but it was clear that Ray wasn’t sure how to feel about this. Ms Beck decided to drop the subject. “Any plans for Christmas?”

Ray shrugged. “I mean, gonna stay here, I suppose?”

“Not going home?”

“Are we allowed to do that?”

“Of course.” Ms Beck furrowed her brow. “Did Mr Lou not tell you?”

Ray thought for a moment, going through memory. “No.”

“Mmh.” She put her cup down. “Maybe he forgot. He probably had other things on his mind, like the whole thing with Victor.”

“I thought we have to stay here for observation and so on.”

Ms Beck smiled. “It’s a compromise. We don’t want to make this feel like a prison to you. So while we would like the Daedalus students to stay here during small holidays and such, Christmas and summer break are for family, or whatever activity you want to pursue.” She thought for a moment. “I’ll ask Mr Lou to tell the class on Monday.”

Ray didn’t say anything.

“So,” Ms Beck continued. “Would you like to see your family?”

“I don’t know.”

Ms Beck wasn’t entirely surprised by that answer, given what Ray had told her about his family. Still, she hadn’t expected the answer to be so quick. “You don’t know?”

“No.” Ray thought for a moment. “Should I go home?”

“There is nothing to be said against it,” Ms Beck smiled. “But ultimately it’s entirely up to you.”

“Mmh.”

“There’s still time. You don’t have to make a decision now.”

“Okay.”

“Maybe you can tell me next week.”

Ray nodded.

Ms Beck looked at the clock. They were already ten minutes overtime, but she didn’t have a follow-up appointment, so it wasn’t a big deal. “All right, that’s it for today. Anything else?”

“No.”

“Then,” she got up from her seat. “Thanks for coming and until next time.”

“Okay.”

“And think about what I said about Victor.” Ms Beck shook Ray’s hand. “I think he would like it.”

“Sure.”

“Take care.”

“Bye.” Ray began to leave. When he opened the door, there was a man already standing behind it. “Mr Morales?”

“Ray.” The vice principal nodded towards the student before peeking into the door. “Do you have a moment?”

“Of course,” Ms Beck replied.

Closing the door behind him, Mr Morales made his way to sit on the couch where moments before Ray had been sat.

Ms Becks sat back down. “I hope you didn’t wait the whole ten minutes outside.”

Mr Morales smiled. “Not the whole ten minutes, no.”

“I’m sorry you had to wait.”

“It’s fine, it wasn’t long.”

Ms Beck leaned back. “So, what can I do for you?”

Mr Morales pursed his lips. “A penny for your thoughts?”

“About what?”

“The Daedalus students. Where they’re at.” He gestured. “Especially after the thing with Victor.”

So it would be a longer talk then. “Do you want some tea?”

“Sure.”

“I wouldn’t worry about it.” Ms Beck began pouring tea into the cup that remained untouched by Ray. She always offered, but he always declined. “To them it was just the first time one from their group decayed. Sure, rationally they know it’s a different situation, but emotionally they don’t experience it much differently than our other groups.”

“But usually the upper years decay first.”

“Usually, but not always.” Ms Beck sipped from her own cup. “Plus, there was Liam, which, granted, was a bit of a special case since they never got to know him before his decay had started, but still, by that time they had already been exposed to a person undergoing their decay.”

“Mmh.” Mr Morales picked up his own cup. “What about Victor?”

“I didn’t have much time with him,” Ms Beck had to admit. “And after his decay had started, he didn’t react to our sessions as well as I would have liked. It’s a good thing he had Liam to talk to.” She thought for a moment. “It’s a shame I can’t continue my talks with them as soon as they complete their decay. It feels like leaving them on hold indefinitely.”

“Maybe one day we’ll find a way to reduce the costs for the communication process.”

“That would be great. Talking to them once every six months just isn’t enough.” She took a sip. “At least being able to enter an inactive state helps them remain stable. And sane.”

“What do you think about sending Victor’s parents a performance evaluation, to, you know, let them know how much better he did?”

“And what grades are you going to send them?” She pointed out that Victor decayed so early that he hadn’t done any exams yet.

“Well,” Mr Morales shifted in his seat. “The idea was to send an evaluation from Scott, since he worked with them the closest.”

“So we’d be sending Victor’s parents, who most care about grades, an evaluation from a class that isn’t graded?” Ms Beck looked at Mr Morales. “You think they’re gonna buy that?”

There was no reply from the vice principal.

“But even if they would buy it,” Ms Beck put her cup down and reached for the teapot. “I’m not a fan.”

“Why?”

“Because,” she began pouring in new tea, but accidentally slipped and spilled some on the table. “Oh, shoot.” She pulled some tissues from under the table that were usually used for the more emotional moments during her sessions, to wipe up the spillage.

She took a deep breath. “You talked to his parents, right? Why they sent him here?”

“Yes,” Mr Morales recalled. “They were hoping it would cure his dyslexia.” He gestured for emphasis. “Which it did.”

“Cure,” she continued dabbing the table dry. “Right.” She looked up at Mr Morales. “All his life he was treated like he was inferior because he was bad in school, and instead of correctly identifying the problem, his parents just applied stricter learning methods, which always makes everything worse.”

“If we do what you’re proposing,” she continued. “Then we’re validating his parents’ viewpoint.” In truth she was more concerned about Victor’s well-being, seeing as he had developed insecurities as a result of how his parents reacted to his poor performance in school, but patient confidentiality prevented her from talking about, therefore she focused on his parents right now instead.

“Why?”

“Because we’re effectively saying ‘Yes, your son did indeed have a flaw, but he doesn’t anymore, so now he has some innate worth as a human being.’” She looked at Mr Morales. “And if that circles back to Victor, then he might have the same take-away, that he was somehow cured, when in truth all it would have needed was just applying a different learning environment for him.”

Ms Beck continued dabbing the table. “This is why I originally didn’t want him here, but…”

“But?”

“Well, it was a bit too late to fix his school problems anyway and he was unlikely to get help otherwise.”

There were a few moments of silence, before Mr Morales spoke up again. “Do you think we’re doing the right thing?”

“Depends,” Ms Beck finally finished cleaning up the spilled tea. “How likely do you think it is that we will ever find a cure?”

Mr Morales inhaled sharply. “I talked to Scott earlier this week. He made a good point. We know pretty much nothing about the process, so it’s impossible to tell.”

“So, do you believe there is a cure, or do you want to believe there is a cure?”

Mr Morales seemed to know what she was hinting at. “I am not doing this -only- because of Ricardo.”

“Carlos—”

But Mr Morales cut her off. “We know the process can be manipulated, so maybe it can be reversed.”

Ms Beck didn’t say anything.

“What I’m saying is,” Mr Morales continued. “There is hope.”

“So,” Yeong asked the group without taking his eyes off the TV. “What object do you guys wanna be?”

Chris turned to face Yeong. “Dude, seriously?”

The Daedalus freshmen, save for Gavin and Fabian, had gathered in the lounge for their Saturday football game again. They had kept this tradition for the last weeks, mainly to get into the game better and analyze the play of professionals.

“Come on, man,” Yeong insisted. “Don’t tell me the thought hasn’t crossed your mind.”

Chris turned his attention back to the game. “I hope I don’t become clothing or whatever.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t wanna be used.” Chris’s tone made it sound as if the reply was self-evident.

“So you’d rather want to stay in the vault all day?”

“Kinda, yeah.”

“Really?” Yeong frowned. “That sounds like torture.”

Chris didn’t comment further, but his lack of disagreement was telling.

Ray looked at Yeong. “So you wanna be used, then?”

“Yeah, I don’t wanna rot in the vault all day. I wanna see sunlight.”

“Mmh.”

“You know you’ll only be able to be used for up to a year, right?” Marc pointed out.

“What, why?”

“Because even a PTO is subject to wear and tear.” Marc shrugged.

“But wait,” Yeong pointed to the pool table in the distance. “Hasn’t Isaiah been in the lounge for like three years now?”

“Yeah, but he’s a special case,” Marc explained. “Clothing and sports equipment and such may rip or get damaged much more easily than a pool table. The worst they have to worry about is vandalism and scratches.”

“Who told you all that?”

“Ms Beck?” Marc gestured as if it was self-evident. “Anyway, the point is that they don’t want to risk damaging PTOs too much, because nobody knows how that affects turning them back.”

“Assuming they can turn us back…”

“You don’t think they will?” Julio chimed in.

Yeong looked at Julio for a few moments, before replying. “I mean, if you think about it, the change is facilitated by our metabolism, but a PTO doesn’t have a metabolism.”

“So?”

Yeong gestured at the screen. “How would you even inject, say, a football.”

“Who says it has to be an injection?” Julio remained unconvinced.

“He has a point, actually.” Pablo looked at Julio. “Reversing a process is never easy when metabolism is involved. Photosynthesis isn’t just metabolizing sugar in reverse. It’s an entirely different process.”

“And yet, evolution has somehow managed.”

“Sure, but only because many of the individual steps are similar. You have the same chemicals and so on. All you need to do is find new connections to get from B back to A.” Pablo furrowed his brow. “But if you cannot even use the same methods to get to this point, because you’re not using biochemistry, for example, you’d basically have to create an entirely new process from scratch.”

Julio didn’t reply.

“Like all the work that went into discovering, stabilizing and fine tuning the agent?” Pablo continued. “You’d have to do that all over again, but in an entirely new field where virtually none of the previous knowledge applies.”

There was a long moment of silence.

“Doesn’t mean it’s impossible,” Kenneth remarked.

Before anyone could say anything, Nick and Drew entered the lounge.

Drew positioned himself behind the couch. “Yo, what are you guys doing?”

“Watching football.” The tone in Chris’s voice carried annoyance, but no accusation.

“You didn’t notice the commotion outside?” Nick asked.

Ray turned around. “What commotion?”

“Ben got sent to the hospital,” Nick explained. “Just grabbed some stuff from his room and then left in a taxi with Mr Lou.”

Upon hearing that most of the other freshmen turned around. Ben was another Daedalus junior, and roommate of Gavin, so everyone knew him even if they didn’t interact much.

Marc furrowed his brow in worry. “Something serious?”

“Stopped eating and drinking yesterday evening and can’t keep anything in.” Nick shrugged. “Beyond that he seems completely fine.”

“Why did Mr Lou go with him?” Ray asked.

“It makes sense if you think about it,” Nick pointed out. “You want someone who knows about the Daedalus project and the agent in case Ben reacts weirdly to treatment.”

“And if he does,” Drew added. “It could provide insight into how the agent affects the body and then Mr Lou is right there.”

“Mmh,” Ray ceded.

“Could it—” Pablo swallowed. “Could it be related to the tumors that formed at the beginning, when they tested on rats?”

Nick grimaced. “I doubt it.”

“It never happened since they refined the agent into the modern version,” Drew chimed in. “And that was before they moved to human test subjects.”

“That doesn’t mean it can’t happen again.” Yeon’s face darkened. “They also didn’t predict the thing with Victor.”

The students looked at each other for a few moments without saying anything.

“Well,” Marc finally broke the silence. “Let’s hope for the best.”

“Shut up, Emu.” Chris caught his breath as the previous game just ended.

Marc watched the sophomore uncharacteristically walk away. It may have been slowly dawning on him that Chris didn’t enjoy the banter as much as he did.

That, or Diego had taken him aside, he didn’t know.

Marc approached Chris. “Emu giving you trouble?”

“Nothing unusual.” Chris looked after Emu. “I can handle it.”

“If you need help, just say so,” Marc offered. “Pretty sure Diego isn’t too happy about Emu’s behaviour either.”

“I said I can handle it.”

“Just keep it in mind.”

Chris grunted and moved away.

Ichigo walked past Marc, on his way to the bench to swap with Nathan. Since the purpose of the exercises was primarily to train the freshmen, it was mostly the sophomores on their team who were rotating.

Nathan fistbumped Ichigo and made his way to Marc.

The sophomore placed himself next to the freshman and started doing stretches. “Nice play by the way.”

“Thanks.”

“We need better plays on the offense though.”

“Yeah, I think I’m better on defense,” Marc had to admit.

“Why?”

“It allows me to take in the field better, coordinate the team.”

“We need that skill on the offense too,” Nathan pointed out.

“Everything’s more chaotic on the offense.”

Nathan looked at Marc. “Is it?”

“I mean,” Marc gestured over the field. “The defense is all about maintaining the status quo. The offense is about disrupting it.”

“Fair, but consider this,” Nathan countered. “The offense can plan and execute a play. The defense will always have to adapt to it dynamically.”

“Mmh.”

Nathan smiled and raised an eyebrow, waiting for the freshman’s reaction.

“I guess that makes sense,” Marc ceded. “Thanks.”

He saw Kenneth motioning everyone over for a huddle, likely to discuss the strategies for the next game.

“Don’t mention it.” Nathan jogged over to the team.

“Any plans for Christmas?” Nick asked from the comfort of his bed.

Ray briefly looked over to his roommate. “Visiting family.”

“You don’t sound very excited.”

Ray shrugged. “I guess”

“Not the best relationship with your parents?”

“Yeah, I suppose.” Ray didn’t really feel like going into too much detail. “But it’s not just that. It just feels so weird now.”

“How so?”

Ray took a deep breath. “So much happened in the last few months. So much has changed. Going back… It almost feels like an entirely different life by now.”

“Mmh mmh,” Nick hummed in agreement.

“I don’t know how my parents will react, to be honest.” Ray looked down at his hands. “Now that there’s no going back.”

“Yeah, I felt similar, back then.”

“How did your parents take it?

“Mine?” Nick produced a weak smile. “Haven’t seen them since child services took me away when I was six.”

“Oh, sorry.” Ray thought for a moment. “So you grew up with foster parents?”

“Nah, I’m living with my grandparents.”

“I see. And you’re gonna visit them?”

“Yeah.” Nick’s face lit up. “And Mochi.”

“Mochi?”

“Hold on, let me show you.” Nick fished out his phone and held it to Ray. “That’s Mochi.”

On the phone was the photo of an axolotl looking at the camera, with the typical empty facial expression that looked like a smile to humans.

“You have a pet axolotl?”

“Yup.”

“Aren’t they expensive to keep?”

“It’s not actually that crazy.” Nick took another look at the photo before turning the phone away. “Initial costs, buying the animal and setting up the tank, are the biggest. Beyond that they cost very little to maintain.”

“I see. Why an axolotl?”

Nick smiled. “Had a stuffed axolotl as a kid.” His face darkened. “Got me through the worst. After I was taken away from my parents I grew attached to it and everything axolotl. I guess it was a way for me to hold onto something familiar.” A pause. “When I was ten, my grandparents surprised me with Mochi. I must have been the happiest kid on the entire planet that Christmas.

“I tell him everything. He’s my best friend,” Nick continued. “And every time these days might be the last time I’ll see him.”

“Why?”

“Well,” Nick shrugged. “I got him 12 years ago and axolotls get around 10 to 15 years old, maybe 20 if they’re cared for well enough.”

“Well, I’m sure he’ll live long enough that you’ll see him a couple more times then.”

“It’s not just his lifespan you know,” Nick pointed out. “If I decay before summer break, I won’t see him again unless they’ll find a way to turn us back within the next couple years.”

“I see.”

“Do you have a pet?”

“Uh, no, my parents nev—”

Ray was interrupted by Drew barging into their room. “Dude!”

“Knock knock?” Nick deadpanned.

But Drew ignored it. “Did you hear? Ben is back!”

“Oh?”

“Apparently Mr Lou had a hunch and had him X-rayed,” Drew continued.

“And?”

“He’s turning from the inside out, dude.”

Nick raised his eyebrows. “He’s decaying?”

“Yeah man, starting with his organs.”

“Wow.”

“Is that unusual?” Ray asked.

“Decay always starts with the skin,” Drew explained.

“As far as we know,” Nick corrected. “I mean, how do we know it always starts with the skin? That’s just the first thing we notice.”

“Okay, whatever,” Drew ceded. “But this is the first time the internal decay is progressing much faster than the external one.”

“Is he okay?”

“Looks like it,” Drew shrugged. “He’s back already and he can walk. They didn’t give him anything special. Seems like an otherwise normal decay.”

“And the reason he didn’t eat…”

“Was because he literally doesn’t have a functioning stomach and intestines anymore,” Drew completed the thought.

“Freaky…”

“But,” Ray chimed in. “Wouldn’t he then starve to death?”

“Remember how Liam still had fleshy arms even though most of his torso had already become armor?” Nick explained. “Same principle. Somehow still animate body parts are being kept alive by whatever magic is causing the transformation.”

Ray thought about Victor. It was the same with him as well. He still had fleshy arms and legs even after his torso had entirely hollowed out.

“But how safe is that?” Ray insisted. “Mr Lou said in some of the earliest tests the rats died because the body grew unevenly.”

“Yes but that’s from the initial transformation of the agent,” Drew pointed out. “Not the decay.”

“Yeah,” Nick added. “Once the decay starts, you’re pretty much safe.”

Ray pulled back from Octavio’s embrace. “Can I ask you something?”

The two had met semi-regularly ever since they had their first night together. Ray genuinely enjoyed Octavio’s company, which is why he always looked forward to the weekends.

But there was something gnawing at him and as the two were making out on Octavio’s bed, Ray finally felt like now was the time.

Octavio seemed confused. “Sure.”

“What we have,” Ray struggled to put his thoughts into words. “When do we take it to the next step?”

“Ray… I’m living the single life,” Octavio explained, patient as ever. “I told you that from the start.”

Ray looked to the ground as his shoulders slumped. “I thought, maybe what we had was special.”

“All relationships are special.”

“That’s so cliche…”

“But it’s true.” Octavio thought for a moment. “I’m sorry that I can’t give you what you want, but that doesn’t mean I genuinely don’t enjoy our time together.”

Ray looked at Octavio for several seconds before speaking again. “I… don’t think I’m up for it tonight.”

Octavio let out a short laugh. “I figured as much, yeah.”

“Are you mad?”

“Me? Not at all. It’s good we had this talk.”

When Ray didn’t say anything, Octavio continued. “Do you feel rejected?”

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry.” Octavio thought for a moment. “I’m sure you’ll find someone.”

“Why do you think so?”

“Because you’re a good guy.” Octavio smiled. “Prime boyfriend material.”

Ray looked down at his arms. “Because of my muscles? Is that why you date us?”

“There’s plenty of hunks out there, but most are divas. Pretty privilege is a real problem in the gay community and it can turn people real nasty. The moment you stop saying what they want to hear they drop you like a hot potato and cut you out of their lives for being ‘toxic’.” Octavio looked to the side. “And post about it.” He looked back at Ray. “Maybe that’s why I’m drawn so much towards you Daedalus guys. You lack this sense of entitlement, that others must treat you this and that way.”

Ray took a deep breath.

“As I said,” Octavio put an arm on Ray’s thigh. “You’ll find someone and you’ll make him very happy.”

“Do you know what happens to us?”

“The decay? Yeah.”

“I don’t have much time to be happy.”

“Ray,” Octavio gently moved Ray’s chin to face him. “Remember that a rainbow comes after the rain.” He smiled. “Everything will be fine.”

December

“So is anyone not visiting family over Christmas?” Kenneth looked around the group.

Ray and the others were currently having lunch in the cafeteria. The topic of Christmas came up, of course and it seemed like everyone was going home for the winter break.

Nobody replied.

“Doesn’t look like it,” Yeong remarked.

“What about you?” Marc looked at Yeong. “Does your family even celebrate Christmas?”

“Yeah we do.” Yeong swallowed a bite. “But it’s not really a religious holiday for us.”

“To be fair,” Marc chimed in. “It’s not really religious for us either.”

“Yeah, I think it’s mainly a cultural thing for most people these days,” Kenneth agreed. “Rather than a religious one.”

Yeong shrugged. “Mmh.”

Suddenly Ray saw Gavin walk past their table. He had never joined the others when they had lunch. Even Fabian who was likewise a bit of a recluse joined them in the cafeteria.

Ray thought back to what Ms Beck had told him some weeks ago and about the promise they recently made in the locker room.

“Gavin!” He shouted out.

Gavin froze and looked at Ray.

Ray motioned at an empty seat opposite of him. “Come join us.”

Gavin briefly looked over at a spot in the corner, likely where he was planning to sit by himself, and then back to Ray, but didn’t reply.

“Yeah, we’d like to have you here,” Marc added.

Hesitating at first, Gavin made his way over to the table and sat down.

There was a short moment of awkwardness as nobody said anything and Gavin wasn’t touching his food.

“So, um,” Yeong looked at Gavin. “Going home for Christmas?”

“No,” was his only answer.

The subdued tone in Gavin’s voice prevented the others from probing further.

Kenneth attempted a conspiratory smirk. “So you have the room to yourself then?”

Gavin was looking down at his food. “Ben is also staying.”

“Right,” Kenneth remembered. “Because of his decay.”

“How is he doing by the way?” Ray asked.

Gavin looked up. “He stopped breathing yesterday.”

Everyone else froze, including Marc. “What?!”

“The decay must have reached his lungs.” Gavin picked up his fork. “It’s a bit creepy, but he’s fine otherwise.”

“Does he know what he’s turning into, yet?” Ray asked.

Gavin looked down at his food and shook his head.

“And that’s it, I’ll see you—” The professor paused for a moment. “-next year. Have a nice Christmas everyone, or an otherwise enjoyable time off for those who don’t celebrate.”

“And don’t forget the exam next week.” He tried to speak over the noise of students getting up to leave.

As Ray and Zoran packed their stuff, Zoran turned to his classmate. “Any big plans for Christmas?”

“Just visiting family.”

“What about friends?”

Ray shouldered his bag and got up, walking towards the exit with Zoran. “Don’t have any.”

“Oh.” Zoran thought for a moment. “Anyone else?”

“No.”

“Mmh.”

The two exited the lecture hall.

As the two were walking, Ray tried to prepare himself. He hadn’t told Zoran yet about him being a Daedalus student and the topic had never come up naturally, but he had set himself the goal to tell him before the year was over. Now that it was the second to last week before the winter break, it was one of the last chances to bring up the topic, as next week would be only exams apart from Monday.

“Zoran, can I tell you something?”

“Whoah, uh, sure.”

Ray motioned Zoran to the side, into a corner of the hall, for a bare minimum of privacy.

“Umm,” he collected his thoughts. “I’m a Daedalus student.”

“Ah,” Zoran’s face slowly turned into a smile. “Okay.”

“You knew?”

“No, but I’m not surprised.”

“Why?”

Zoran tilted his head. “Look at you.”

Ray let out a short laugh of relief. “Right.”

“It’s fine, by the way. I’m also gay.”

In a moment Ray’s relief turned into confusion. That wasn’t the important part. He just confided to Zoran that he had signed to join a program that would turn him into an inanimate object over the course of his studies, that he had given up his mobility and agency in the long run for short term physical and mental peak condition.

But then he realized something else. In the first weeks after the injection, Ray had always worried about his sexuality. But over time it had become a non-issue and a natural part of his new identity.

Ray was gay.

And that wasn’t weird to him anymore.

Zoran interrupted his thoughts. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Ray finally smiled. “I was just surprised, is all.”

“Okay, uh, so, meet with the others at the library after class?”

“Sure.”

“Pablo!” His mother went in for a hug.

It was the 21st of December, Saturday, and the first day of winter break. Pablo had just entered his home after a 5 hour train ride and his mother jumped up, from whatever she was doing, the moment he had stepped through the door. He hadn’t even had time to close it.

He joined her embrace. “Mom.”

She pulled back to let his father hug his son as well.

After she closed the door, Pablo’s mom looked at her son more closely. He now realized she was looking up at him more than usual.

“You’ve grown.”

Pablo blushed and looked to the side. “Yeah.”

She must have misinterpreted his look as she became visibly worried. “Is everything all right?”

“Yeah, everything is fine.”

“Nobody giving you trouble?”

Pablo knew what worried her. Back in school, he was bullied relentlessly. When he complained about it to the teachers, they looked another way, unwilling to get involved. One day his parents confronted him about his grades and he finally told them what was going on.

His parents thought talking to the school would solve it, and at first it seemed that way, but the teachers and other students remained the same and things deteriorated again, worse even than before as the bullies sought revenge.

Eventually, his parents had no choice but to move Pablo to a different school.

Where the same happened again.

Desperate, they resorted to homeschooling, which helped only little to improve his learning and studying. He was too far behind to truly catch up and anything school related caused him anxiety.

“They’re all nice, mom.”

“And if someone’s looking for trouble,” His father clapped him on the back. “They’ll probably think twice now.”

“Ray,” His mother stood in the doorway at the other end of the room, smiling, as Ray entered. “Welcome home.”

“Hey,” was all Ray said as he slipped out of his shoes.

His father joined, standing next to Ray’s mother. “How was the first semester?”

Ray hated this question. He never knew whether he should give a detailed report or a quick overview. How was he supposed to wrap up five months in one or two sentences? On the other hand he was always asked this question at moments that were unsuitable for long conversations on the spot, like right now, while he was literally in the entryway of their home.

Ray removed his jacket. “It was okay.”

His father smirked. “School’s not very exciting, am I right?”

Lack of excitement was definitely not one way how Ray would have described the past months.

He wasn’t quite sure how to make his parents understand what happened, so he decided to mention the one thing that had occupied him the most. “One of us has already turned.”

“Oh,” was the only thing his mother said.

Ray waited for his parents’ reactions.

“Well,” His mother continued. “We’re gonna have dinner in one hour. You like chicken broccoli casserole, right?”

It took Ray a moment to shake off the confusion at the lack of a proper response. “Yes.”

“And do you have friends?” Pablo’s mother asked over dinner.

“Yeah, we’re ten in our group.” He thought for a moment, then corrected himself. “Nine.”

“What happened?”

Pablo looked down at his plate. “One of us already… turned.”

There was a moment of silence as the weight of what Pablo was saying sank in. His parents already knew about the side effects of the injection. They knew what would most likely happen to their own son.

After some seconds his mother began to speak. “Did you know him well?”

Pablo shrugged. “Not more than the others at the time. It was too early.”

His mother, unable to find comforting words, simply reached for Pablo’s arm and smiled.

Chris was in his childhood room when there was a knock on his door. “Yeah?”

His mother peeked inside. “By the way, there was a change of plans, Christmas dinner will be with the whole family.”

“Everyone?”

“Yeah.”

“And Logan?”

“He will also be there,” His mother said as if it was self-evident.

“But you said—”

“His girlfriend is pregnant,” she explained. “So we wanted to have everyone together.”

Chris felt anxiety rising in his chest. “I can’t.”

“Chris, it will be one evening. Just don’t make a scene and it’ll be fine.”

Before he could object, his mother closed the door.

Marc was typing on his phone, keeping up with friends.

He had arrived one day ago, so his parents already had enough time to pepper him with questions. Now they were simply sitting in the living room, enjoying the cozy indoors Christmas atmosphere.

It was good to be with family again, and snuggled in his blanket by the fireplace, Marc could almost forget the wild ride of the past months.

But someone was missing.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang and Marc’s father got up to open the door.

When Marc saw who it was, he jumped up from his seat but it was his brother who went in for a hug first. “Bro!”

Marc hadn’t seen his younger brother in a while. The two were five years apart and Quentin had started going to university only a year ago. As a result he wasn’t living with their parents anymore, similar to Marc.

Quentin pulled back to take a better look at Marc. “Wow, maybe I should sign up as well.”

“Quentin!” Their mother was clearly not amused.

Marc’s face likewise went dark. “Don’t.” Unlike him, Quentin was lucky enough to skip the genes for myotonic dystrophy, so there was no need to enroll in the program.

“Sorry, just a stupid joke.” Quentin looked at Marc. “But, is it cured?”

Marc nodded. Technically nobody knew for certain as his symptoms had not yet developed by the time he had received the agent, but there had been a student in the past who already displayed some symptoms which disappeared after the injection, so Marc was confident he was safe. Plus, he had monthly examinations in addition to the blood tests to monitor his muscle development.

“Well, that’s good at least.” Quentin smiled. “And imagine they make it safe one day.”

“Yeah,” Marc forced himself to return the smile, knowing at what cost that progress was made. “One day.”

“Do you want me to drop you off at the train station on Wednesday?” Yeong’s mother asked from the next room as he was packing his stuff for the trip to his father.

“That would be nice, if it’s okay with you.”

“Of course it is,” she said as she was walking past the door, doing her own chores, likely preparing for the event tomorrow.

They had to celebrate Christmas one day early, on the 24th, due to scheduling conflicts with Yeong’s father, which his mother only agreed to because Yeong asked her to do so three times, just to stop the constant fighting.

On the next day, in the morning, Yeong would have to take a trip to his father.

“I know he doesn’t drive you anywhere,” His mother continued. “But you can always ask me, you know that.”

“He doesn’t have a license,” Yeong pointed out.

“Well, he could get one.”

“You know he doesn’t have the money.”

“Tse, or so he keeps telling you.” His mother dismissed the fact. “Speaking of which, you can tell him he still hasn’t paid his part of the mortgage.”

“You can tell him yourself.”

Suddenly it was quiet and Yeong turned to see his mother in the doorframe. “Honey, I know it’s difficult for you too, but I would do everything for you, okay?”

Yeong didn’t know how to respond. Ever since the divorce both of his parents aggressively and often transparently vied for his love. They would do anything to get him to favor one of them.

Everything but stop fighting.

He returned his attention to his bags. “I know.”

It was Christmas Eve and Julio was nervous. Under the Christmas tree were multiple piles of presents, one for each family member.

He always hated this part. Between openly stated disappointments in presents and offense taken at careless yet innocent phrasings, Christmas often felt like a minefield. One wrong move and you set someone off.

He saw his mother reach for the present that he had wrapped. Given his stay at the campus the last months it was difficult knowing what to get. He decided to get a radio-controlled clock as his mother had the habit of complaining when the clock didn’t automatically switch to summer and winter saving times, and then blamed others for not remembering to set the clock.

This way she would not have an excuse, or knowing her, only one less.

She held up the present. “Who wrapped this?”

“Me.” Julio raised his hand and smiled.

“What is this?” She asked.

Julio was confused. Did she ask what was inside? Why wouldn’t she just open it?

But she didn’t actually wait for an answer. “The ribbon is off-center.”

Now Julio knew what she meant. He had decided to make the present a little bit more interesting. Instead of having the cross of the ribbon centered on the present, it was instead in the corner. He had seen it done like this in a store, incidentally while he was shopping for a gift. Knowing how easily his mother was upset, he decided to do something special for her present. He even made sure the wrapping work was clean.

“It needs to be in the middle,” His mother stressed. “Have I ever shown you to do it like this?” She waved the gift towards his younger sister. “Your sister can wrap presents better than you.”

Julio swallowed. It hadn’t even crossed his mind that something so minor could cause such a reaction. He had known his mother his entire life and yet he was always surprised when this happened.

“You did it at the last minute again, didn’t you?”

Julio hated that accusation. Especially the ‘again’ was uncalled for. “No.”

“So you just don’t care, then?”

Julio looked over to his father, who seemed unaffected, busy with unwrapping his own presents.

“Typical that it’s me who gets the sloppy work,” she mused to herself, as she continued unwrapping the gift.

Julio looked down at his own present. He realized that he no longer cared what she thought of the clock.

Or what was inside his own gifts, for that matter.

He began unwrapping the present in his lap, mentally preparing himself to feign gratitude.

Kenneth was woken up by the sound of his siblings, nieces and nephews. There were five in total, his older sister and her two sons, and their older brother and his daughter.

Without getting out of his pajamas, Kenneth made his way to the kitchen and dining room where the voices came from. The children got up early today, unable to wait any longer for their Christmas presents. He could already hear the excited laughter of them playing with their new toys.

As he walked through the narrow hallway he remembered once more how tiny everything seemed. Not only had he grown since he was last here, but the apartment his parents had was also fairly small. It was a stark contrast to the spacious, accessibility-friendly dorms of the university.

Housing ten people for Christmas in a two room apartment was difficult and Kenneth had to sleep in a niche of the hallway, near the utility closet, not that it bothered him too much.

He sat down next to his mother at the dining table. The living room was temporarily repurposed into a sleeping room for most of the guests, while Kenneth’s brother and his wife were sleeping in the same room as his parents. The couch was therefore unavailable currently.

“Good morning, sweetheart.” His mother shoved a box of chocolates towards Kenneth. “Merry Christmas.”

“Mom, you didn’t have to.” They had agreed earlier that he and his siblings would not get anything this year. Buying presents for the younger children already put enough strain on finances on top of the essentials like school supplies and such. It was a godsend that Kenneth’s scholarship provided everything he needed for his education.

“I don’t want you to miss out,” His mother insisted.

He looked over to the children playing with their toys. “I’m not missing out.”

“Oh, Kenny.” His mother leaned over for a hug. “Just don’t eat it all at once.”

Kenneth laughed.

“Kenneth, look!” He heard the voice of one of his nephews behind him.

He broke the hug and turned around to see his nephew holding a stuffed teddy. Based on the wrapping paper right next to him, it was clear that the plushie didn’t come in its own package. Kenneth concluded it was bought second hand.

“Look what I got!” His nephew waved the teddy around.

“Nice,” Kenneth smiled. “Does he have a name?”

His nephew stopped and took a closer look at the plush toy in his hands, as if it would tell him its name. Then his eyes lit up. “I’ll call him Mr Bear!”

Fabian sat on his bed. It felt so small, like everything else, as if he had outgrown his previous life.

As if he was now a different person.

And yet, at the same time nothing had changed. His parents’ questions were difficult. Finding excuses for why he didn’t let them see all the papers or talk with the school became increasingly difficult. He had the feeling that they sensed that there was something about the Daedalus project he wasn’t telling them.

Something that he hadn’t told anyone.

They were right of course and he would keep it that way, out of fear how his parents might react. He couldn’t tell his classmates either, or the staff, because if it somehow managed to find its way to his parents…

Just a few months, he told himself. Either he would land in the vault and never had to talk to his parents again, or he would be the lucky one who got the antidote and he could do whatever he wanted.

He lay down on the bed and rolled on his side.

Just a few months.

Chris hated everything about this year’s Christmas. Not only was Logan here, but he was also seated opposite of him, likely because of their status as siblings. It seemed like his mother wanted to pretend everything was fine and seating them together was a way to achieve that.

His relationship with his older brother was terrible, to put it lightly. When they were young he would often punch him or otherwise get into physical fights with Chris even when he asked for him to stop.

Eventually, his brother did stop, but not because Chris told him to. Turns out it was rather difficult to justify hitting your younger brother when your younger brother is specifically trying to avoid you. Logan grew wise to that fact over time and changed his approach.

Instead of physical violence, Logan began setting Chris up, to manipulate events to make Chris look like the one who did Logan wrong. Chris was too young to properly voice this issue to the adults and his parents simply brushed it off as sibling rivalry.

Over the years, Logan became a master at manipulation and would routinely get Chris into trouble.

Eventually, Logan moved out to start his own family and Chris was happy if he never saw him again.

Chris carefully waited until his uncle on his right was free. “Can I have the gravy?”

But it seemed as if Logan had only waited for that moment. He grabbed the gravy boat containing the garlic sauce.

Chris tried to stop him. “I said grav—”

But it was too late, Logan was already pouring the garlic sauce over Chris’s plate. He noticed how he made sure it covered everything. Logan turned to his girlfriend. “Do you want some too?”

“I said gravy,” Chris repeated as he stared at his plate.

Logan’s girlfriend declined and he put the gravy boat back to its place. “I’m sorry, I heard garlic.”

“I hate garlic sauce.”

“Since when?” Logan made himself sound innocent. “You eat garlic all the time.”

“But not as a sauce.”

“Well, I’m sorry.” Logan looked at his girlfriend and smiled, likely to downplay Chris’s reaction. “Garlic and gravy sound very close.”

Chris fought hard not to cause a scene, as his mother called it. “Why are you doing this?”

Logan continued eating. “Doing what?”

His mother spoke up. “Chris.”

He looked up and saw her glaring.

“I don’t know why you’re making such a big deal out of it,” Logan continued. “I’m just trying to be nice.”

Chris felt his chest tighten out of both anger and anxiety. He hated this phrase more than any other. Logan always used it to make Chris look like the one acting out. Afterall, how could you be mad at someone who was merely trying to be nice? Even if they made a mistake, getting into a fight with them made you the aggressor, not them.

Chris took a deep breath. “I need to go to the toilet.”

He knew his mother disapproved of his reaction, but right now he didn’t care.

“So, how is school?” Ray’s aunt, his mom’s sister, asked between bites.

Ray and his parents were invited to a Christmas dinner with the whole family. Naturally, everyone wanted to know about Ray’s scholarship. He was the topic of the day.

“Uh, fine,” Ray half-lied.

“Talk about how you’re doing in class now,” His mother encouraged. He had of course told his parents about his improved performance, but his mother wanted him to tell the rest of his family it seemed.

“It’s working great,” he recalled. “I’m actually helping out some of my classmates after school.”

“Like private lessons?” His aunt wanted to know.

“It’s not official,” Ray shrugged. “We just meet at the library and go through the material.”

“Ah. Do you have, like, private rooms in the library for that purpose?”

“It’s actually adjacent to the library. More like a study hall, but designed for group learning.”

“And you’re the one who teaches them?”

“Well,” Ray considered his next words. “I just have the easiest time in our group understanding the topic. Due to the injection.”

His aunt seemed impressed, then turned to his mother. “Imagine they would give all students the agent. Where could we be as a society?”

Ray furrowed his brow at that comment. “One of us has already turned into an object.”

Suddenly the entire room was quiet. Ray heard the clink of a fork or knife hitting a plate.

His mother looked mildly embarrassed but quickly found her composure again.

She grabbed her wine glass and looked at her sister with a forced smile. “And how are your children doing?”

Ray’s aunt still seemed a little bit shocked as she briefly looked at him, but then decided to drop the subject as well. “Oh, exams went well, yeah.”

His mother took a sip. “That’s a relief.”

Ray froze. The thing that had him occupied the most in the recent months just got brushed aside because it was uncomfortable to talk or even think about.

He wasn’t sure if they avoided the topic for their own comfort or thought they were doing a favor for Ray, but either way he felt like an outsider, someone who disrupted the peace with his mere presence.

Ray recalled the words of Hunter on their first day. Now he understood why he, and presumably many others, preferred moving into the vault over staying with their family.

His family was no longer where he felt kinship.

Gavin sat on the pier on the lake at campus. It was almost midnight and he was enjoying the solitude.

He liked the lake and often went there when he needed to get away from, well, everything. Usually this place was still pretty busy, but now that most students and staff had gone away for the holidays, the place was tranquil. As long as he didn’t turn around towards the campus buildings, he could imagine himself sitting somewhere in the wilderness, far away from all the worries in the world.

It was cold on the pier, of course and the thin layer of rime on the wood melted under him, causing his pants to soak a tiny bit.

Still, it was a small price to pay for a little moment of peace.

Most of the other Daedalus students had gone home for the holidays, except for him, Ben and Austin, as well as Pablo’s roommate Zvi and Marc’s roommate Xavier.

He didn’t know their reasons, except for Ben’s, of course, who was stuck on campus against his will. Not that he was kept here as a prisoner, but it was policy that any student undergoing their decay would stay on site so that the most important part of the process could be studied.

He checked the time on his phone. Only a minute remaining until the new year.

He looked up at the clear night sky, the distant stars shining from far away. The lake gave him a feeling of peace, but this peace was fleeting. He knew that he wasn’t far enough away from his problems.

When he looked up at the stars, he thought about what it would be like to be up there and not down here. How tiny earth would seem and how far away he would be from everything. He would be safe. No one could hurt him anymore.

January

Gavin’s thoughts were interrupted by the first fireworks rocket lighting up the night sky, quickly followed by others.

He watched the spectacle of colors and lights in the black sky above. Slowly the stars dimmed and disappeared as smoke filled the night air.

A new year had begun.

Maybe this year everything would be better.

Ray made his way to the Daedalus lab. While the first semester was spent learning about the process and getting used to the equipment, after the break Mr Lou had given the freshmen a long-term project aiming to give them a practical understanding of the agent’s properties.

Synthesizing, storing, and analyzing the substance was a lengthy process that took several days, and as such, the students would have to do most of the work after class.

Some of the other freshmen had done today’s homework together, but Ray’s schedule conflicted with theirs so he had to do it on his own.

He opened the door with his keycard and entered the lab.

To his surprise, Ray found that he was not alone. Looking up from his notes, Pablo greeted him. “Ah, hi.”

“Hi.” Ray gathered his samples and equipment and got to his own place, behind Pablo. “You didn’t join the others?”

“Nah, had an appointment with Ms Beck.”

“The regular one?”

“Yup,” Pablo confirmed. “I have mine on Wednesdays.”

“I see.”

Ray readied his equipment. Today he would do the five color tests. A properly formed agent would react with the given solutions to make them change into specific colors.

He’d just hoped he did the synthesis correctly. Otherwise he’d have to do that again.

As he was preparing his protocol, the silence between the two of them made him feel awkward. “How did the exams go?”

“Full marks,” Pablo replied. “You?”

“Same.” Ray paused for a moment. The results still felt surreal to him. As someone who had never done remotely well in school, his mind had trouble registering the grades as real. “How were you doing at school before… well, the injection?”

“Urgh,” Pablo groaned. “Not great.”

Ray smiled. Looks like they had something in common.

“How about you?” Pablo wanted to know.

“Yeah, same, really.”

“Mmh.”

Ray put a couple drops of the first solution onto a test tube and then added a drop of his agent. In a matter of seconds it changed its color to green and he jotted down the result.

While he prepared the next test tube, Ray noticed that he didn’t hear Pablo handling any equipment. He glanced over his shoulder and saw his fellow freshman studying the notes in front of him. Five test tubes with five different colored liquids were resting in the rack next to Pablo.

Ray turned his attention back to his own tubes. “Already done with the color tests?”

“Hmm hmm,” Pablo confirmed.

“What are you doing now?” Ray knew that Pablo couldn’t move onto the next part yet, as the agent would have to sit for two days before the decay test. “Going over the protocol?”

“Nah, finished that too.”

“So… What are you doing?”

Pablo hesitated. “I’m preparing some other tests.”

“Like what?”

“I’m going through the structure of the agent and writing down some hypotheses on other substances it can be tested with, and the expected result.” A short pause. “And then I’ll test it.”

“Why?”

Pablo let out a short laugh. “Why not? I’m curious.”

“You like chemistry?”

“Biochemistry, but yeah, that’s why I picked microbiology as my major.”

“What do you like about it?”

“It’s just, cells are really fascinating,” Pablo began. “They’re tiny machines made of simple molecules and proteins but so insanely complex that they do so many things better than our most advanced technology. You can’t build a tiny robot to move through the body and zap harmful bacteria and viruses, but immune cells do just that.”

While he was listening, Ray released a drop from his agent into the second solution, watching it turn a pinkish red. “Okay, if you put it that way, that does sound pretty cool.”

“Right? I’m hoping that one day we’re able to build artificial cells that we can program like robots. Imagine being able to grow a cure for any disease in a petri dish in a matter of hours. And instead of being a chemical we inject into the body and hope for the best, the cure is distributed by tiny cells to wherever it is needed.”

“Mmh.”

“Most cancer treatments are indiscriminate, be they chemicals or radiation,” Pablo continued. “They always harm the whole body, because from a chemical’s perspective there is no difference between normal cells and cancer cells. But imagine you could construct a tiny organic machine that can detect and eliminate tumors without targeting anything else. And once it’s done it simply dissolves into organic molecules.”

“I see.”

“What about you?” Pablo turned around. “Did you always have a knack for engineering?”

“Can’t say I did,” Ray had to admit. “But when I went through the list of majors, it resonated the most.” He furrowed his brow. “Truth be told, I didn’t really think much about what would happen if I, you know…”

“If you managed to skip the decay,” Pablo finished his sentence.

“Yeah.”

“Mmh, yeah, it didn’t really feel like a concern at the time,” Pablo mused. “Maybe that’s why we’re the ones who ended up accepting the scholarship while others didn’t.”

Ray carefully released a drop into the third solution and waited for it to change color, but nothing happened. He picked it up and swirled it, helping the liquids mix. He swore he saw a light blue tint, but his notes said that it should be a chestnut brown when reacting with the agent.

“Anything wrong?” Pablo asked.

“The peroxide isn’t working.”

Pablo joined Ray and took a look at the setup. “Did you reduce it?”

“Uhh…” Ray checked his notes. Did he miss something?

“You’re not actually using the peroxide as is. You need to reduce it first,” Pablo explained. “Do you want some help?”

“Sure.”

Shawn didn’t wait long after Octavio closed the door to his apartment and drew him close, making out.

Meeting Shawn at the club today was a surprise to Octavio, but not an unwelcome one. They had met up frequently in the past, but in the last two years he only met Shawn rarely.

The now senior didn’t lose any time and had approached Octavio as soon as he saw him. Octavio figured that Shawn was pent up and needed an outlet.

“Someone’s horny today,” Octavio remarked when their lips parted for a moment and led Shawn to the bedroom.

Still entangled, the pair moved onto the bed, fumbling to get undressed. Sitting on Octavio’s hips, Shawn shucked his shirt and began to undo his zipper as he kissed his lover’s neck.

But as much as Octavio liked this, he was concerned about Shawn’s sudden change in behavior. He was normally more calm and collected than that.

“Did anything happen?” He asked.

Shawn paused and looked at Octavio. “Not many of us left.”

“How many?”

Shawn looked to the side. “Only me and Austin.”

“I see.” Octavio ran his hands down Shawn’s arms to comfort him. “Holding the fort, hmm?”

Shawn frowned.

“Don’t worry.” Octavio caressed Shawn’s face causing him to make eye contact. “I like the grizzled survivor trope.”

The senior grimaced and moved off the bed, zipping up.

“Shawn?” Octavio propped himself up. “Did I say something wrong?”

But Shawn put on his shirt and rushed to leave the apartment.

“Wait!” Octavio called after him as he scrambled out of the bed himself. “Shawn, I’m sorry!” He managed to shout from the other end of the hallway just before the door closed.

He sighed. “Shit…”

“So, anything fun planned for the weekend?” Zoran asked as he and Ray walked to their next classes.

“Ah, the usual.”

“Such as?”

“You know.” Ray gestured. “Doomscrolling, nothing fancy. Studying. Maybe going out.”

“Anywhere special?”

“Just a local club. Haven’t been there in a while.”

“Ah.”

Ray turned to Zoran. “Do you have anything interesting planned?”

“I’m actually meeting with some of the others to play Frontiers.”

“What’s that?”

“A sci-fi pen-and-paper tabletop RPG,” Zoran explained. “You know, like Cantrip, but in space.”

“Ah, sounds cool.”

“Do you like tabletop RPGs?”

“Never played any,” Ray had to admit.

“But are you interested?”

Ray’s first instinct was to say no, but he just said it sounded cool and he meant it. Plus, he figured Zoran wouldn’t have offered if he wasn’t being serious. “Uh, I’ve never tried it. I don’t want to join and then drop out if it’s not for me.”

“Don’t worry, it’s not a problem,” Zoran explained. “Each session is like an away mission so we can have completely different teams every time we play. I actually have three characters in our current campaign and every time I choose one of them for the session.”

“I see.”

“So really, if you want to join, it’s no problem,” Zoran smiled. “And we’re always looking for new players.”

“Well, I mean, okay.” Ray and Zoran stopped at the entry to the lecture hall of Ray’s class. “When is it?”

“Saturday.”

“Sounds good.”

Zoran pulled out his phone. “I’ll add you to the group.”

Chris opened his locker to pick up his supplies for the shower.

“Nice play today,” Emu smirked over to Chris.

Chris didn’t reply but glanced over at Diego, who watched the scene closely. Based on Emu’s behaviour today it seemed as if Diego had taken him aside and told him to tone it down. Or maybe Emu just got tired of teasing Chris on the field.

But it seemed like in the locker room all bets were off.

Chris decided to simply ignore Emu.

“Giving me the cold shoulder today, huh?”

One by one the others began to make their way to the showers, while Chris was still looking for his shower gel. He grimaced. It wasn’t there.

Emu must have noticed his change of facial expression. “Anything wrong?”

Chris examined his fellow jock. Did Emu steal his bottle? “I must have misplaced my shower gel today.” He brought out between his teeth, wary of Emu’s reaction.

But Emu’s face was devoid of glee. “You can have one of mine.” His smirk returned. “Just don’t think we’ll shower together.”

Chris saw that the bottle wasn’t his and figured Emu wasn’t behind it. “You have multiple?”

“I always have a backup.” Emu offered the bottle.

Chris quickly looked at Diego, who was walking past the two, before he replied. “I’ll ask one of the others.”

“Pff, suit yourself I guess.” The sophomore tossed the bottle back into his locker and continued in his usual mocking tone. “Will I ever be good enough for you, I wonder?”

But Chris wasn’t in the mood for Emu’s antics. “Fuck off.”

“Dude, why you gotta be such an asshole?” Emu returned his attention to the locker. “I’m just trying to be nice.”

Upon hearing that sentence, Chris snapped.

Mr Morales exhaled. Fights between students weren’t unheard of and he had seen quite a few since he became vice-principal, but never had he seen such a strange tableau as today.

Before him sat Emmanuel and Christopher, who had gotten into a fight in the locker room earlier today. Emmanuel had a black eye and a busted lip, while Christopher had no bruises Mr Morales could see.

Usually, when they were in his office, both students were still angry at each other or one was timid, but in this case Christopher glared to the side, out the window, while Emmanuel seemed more disappointed than anything else and neither seemed to care particularly about the fight or the situation they were in right now.

Mr Morales gave Ms Beck a look. She had talked with both students in private before, but couldn’t figure out the reason for the fight either. She simply returned the look. Mr Morales knew by now that her lack of a reaction was a signal for him to continue.

He folded his hands and looked at the students. “All right, maybe you want to tell me what happened?” Maybe having both of them in the same room would lead to a resolution.

Emmanuel shrugged. “He attacked me.”

Christopher did not react to the accusation.

“Christopher?” Mr Morales prodded.

But the Daedalus student continued staring out the window, grinding his teeth.

“Was there a reason for the fight?” Mr Morales tried to keep the wording neutral as he did not truly know who attacked first.

Emmanuel shot Christopher a look before replying, seemingly giving him a chance. “Everyone was getting ready for the showers. Chris forgot his shower gel and I offered mine.” He shrugged and rolled his eyes. “He refused and jumped at me.”

A slight twitch from Christopher but no other reaction.

Mr Morales turned to the freshman. “And what is your version of the story?”

There was no immediate response but after some seconds Christopher shrugged. “Guess that’s what happened.”

“And what was your reason?”

Silence.

Mr Morales exchanged a look with Ms Beck.

“Since I don’t know your reasoning,” Mr Morales continued. “And neither does Emmanuel apparently, can I trust that you will not start another fight and instead try to resolve the issue before it escalates next time?”

Another shrug from Christopher. “Sure.”

The response did not seem genuine but Mr Morales figured it was the most he’d get. “Do you want to say anything to Emmanuel?”

More silence.

Mr Morales was hoping for an apology but knew that forcing one wouldn’t resolve anything. He sighed and nodded to the sophomore. “Thank you for coming, Emmanuel.” He didn’t want to risk letting both students out at the same time.

Emmanuel got up and left.

“It doesn’t seem that Emmanuel is vengeful.” Ms Beck talked to Christopher. “So if you want to apologize to him, I believe he would be open to it. And if you want to talk about it, you can always come to me.”

Again there was no reaction from the freshman.

Mr Morales inhaled. “Is there anything you’d like to tell us?”

Chris continued staring out the window.

“Very well.” Mr Morales gestured. “You may leave now.”

“You arrive just in time for the bulkhead to the airlock close in front of you.” Ulric described the scene. “Through the window you can see the Baccu whirling around as the hydraulics hiss from all directions. The console next to the door is fried from the previous fight. All you can do is bang against the window trying to get its attention, calling for it to press the emergency button inside the airlock but it cannot understand what you say and being part of a console pointing wouldn’t tell it which button to press. The countdown mercilessly continues. 7… 6… 5—”

“Its vision is color based isn’t it?” Ray interrupted the game master’s narration.

Ulric looked up from his notes, mildly irritated for being interrupted. “Yes.”

“I pull out a signal flare,” Ray stated. In their current session they had encountered an intelligent indigenous life form being experimented on by rogue scientists that abducted it from a nearby planet. They spent the better part of the mission rescuing the Baccu. Ray hated to see it die now in the airlock. “And turn it to red.”

The entire table was silent.

Then Zoran turned to Ulric. “We can save it!”

“Hmm.” Ulric hesitated. “It likely wouldn’t understand the meaning.”

“There’s only one red item inside the airlock,” Ray pointed out.

“First contact rules allow us a communication roll,” one of the other players added.

“Fine.” Ulric looked something up on his laptop. “I guess it counts as sign language. Main communication method of target. You don’t have any communication perks. Minus three for target being panicked.” He finally looked up. “All right, you need to roll a 15.”

Ray picked up the 20-sided die and rolled. The whole table was watching closely.

Eventually the die came to rest. A 17.

Zoran cheered. “We did it!”

Ulric was the only one who did not seem overjoyed, but nevertheless acknowledged the result with a weak smile. “4… 3… The Baccu’s gaze alternates between the flare and the emergency button. 2… Together with your gestures, it understands and finally presses the button. 1… At once the countdown stops and the hydraulic hisses cease. A voice informs you that the decompression process has been aborted.

“You open the door to the airlock and stand face to face with the Baccu. Its skin flashes in a rainbow of colors before settling on a mottled brown and green. It slowly approaches you and puts a fore limb against your outstretched hand, communicating its gratitude.”

“Good thinking, man.” Zoran high-fived Ray.

“So,” Ray turned to Ulric. “What was the intended path?”

“Nothing.”

“Huh?”

“You weren’t supposed to save the Baccu,” Ulric explained. “It was intended to be a sad moment.”

Zoran laughed in surprise. “You wanted it to die?”

“I wanted to tell a story.” Ulric leaned back and smiled. “That’s my job.”

“By killing poor innocent aliens.”

“What can I say?” Ulric continued. “Torturing characters is what I have to do. Torturing you on the other hand is why I love being a game master.”

“Oh shut up.” Zoran laughed.

Ray looked at Ulric. “I hope I didn’t derail the story too much.”

“Ah, don’t worry about it.” Ulric looked through his notes. “That was pretty much the end anyway. All you have to do now is get off the station and whether the Baccu is with you or not doesn’t really change much.” He thought for a moment. “And I might make the next mission involve the Baccu’s home planet. I’m nothing if not flexible.”

Ray smiled.

“Oh and,” Ulric pointed at Ray’s character sheet. “You get one extra experience point right now for creative problem solving.”

Chris watched the washing machine as it went through its program. He picked a time when the laundry room wasn’t crowded and now he was all alone.

His mind swirled around the recent fight. His consciousness was conflicted. One part of him felt justified. Afterall, Emu was using the same tactics as his brother, even used the same phrase.

But the other, rational part knew that Emu wasn’t aware of the phrase and was likely legit trying to be helpful. Chris’s brother never gave him an option. He just screwed him over and then made it look as if Chris had asked for it, but Emu hadn’t set him up for anything. He offered the bottle of shower gel and waited for Chris’s reaction.

Still, Emu deserved it for acting like a prick all the time, Chris told himself.

“Oh.” A familiar voice pulled Chris out of his thoughts. He looked up to see Emu walk into the laundry room with a full basket. “Didn’t expect to run into you.”

Chris didn’t reply.

Emu loaded his laundry into a machine and started it.

A minute or two passed before Emu started talking. “So are you gonna tell me what that shit was all about?”

“No.”

“So when should I expect the next attack?” Emu turned to face Chris. “Are you gonna assault me tomorrow for wearing a black jacket with blue jeans?”

“No, it was a mistake and won’t happen again.”

Emu glared at Chris for a few seconds. “I am very sorry Emu, that I attacked you. You didn’t deserve that.” He mocked Chris’s lack of an apology. “Oh by the way I am very grateful that you didn’t escalate this further with the vice principal.”

Chris simply looked away.

“You know what attacking people for no reason makes you?” Emu asked. “A bully.”

“Speaking from experience?”

“What, because of the fucking banter?” Emu paused for a moment, letting Chris respond, which he didn’t. “Dude, if I had known you were allergic to jokes, I would have moved to a humor free diet.”

“Hilarious,” Chris deadpanned.

“Just—” Emu gestured. “What’s your issue?”

Truly, Chris’s issue right now was that he wanted to be alone, but he figured Emu would not let go if Chris merely told him that. “Suck my dick, Emu.”

A few moments passed.

Then Chris’s eyes widened when the sophomore went down on his knees.

Ray was walking across the plaza to the dorms when Zoran appeared next to him, holding a transparent box with what looked like muffins inside.

“Ray, hi.”

“Uh, hey.”

Zoran smiled. “How did you enjoy Frontiers?”

“It was fun.”

“You up for it again in the future?”

“Sure, when is it?”

Zoran shrugged. “We don’t know yet. We don’t want to do it every weekend, so not next Saturday. Either the one after or the one after that.”

“Sounds good, I’m in.”

“Oh, by the way.” Zoran opened the box. “I baked some muffins on Sunday. Want one?”

Ray reached in. “Thanks. What’s the occasion?”

“It was my birthday.”

“You didn’t tell me.”

Zoran rolled his eyes. “Eh, I don’t like making a big deal out of it.”

“Heh.” Ray took a bite. “It’s good.”

“Thanks.” Zoran thought for a moment. “By the way, do you have any plans for after class?”

“Uh, not yet, why?”

“There’s a new café that I wanted to try out. You in?”

Ray considered the offer for a few moments, lost in his own thoughts. He was unsure what Zoran was trying to hint at, or if he was hinting at anything at all.

“Ray?”

“Sorry, umm.” Ray caught himself. “Can I ask you something?”

“Uh, sure.”

Ray bit his lips, but he needed to make sure he read the situation correctly. “Do you have a boyfriend?”

Zoran seemed surprised, the gears in his head turning. “Nnno…”

“So, is this a date then?”

“Ah, no.” Zoran raised an eyebrow, but quickly caught himself, keeping his expression neutral. “Would you have liked it to be one?”

“Um, I just mean,” Ray began to stammer. “We’re both- I just thought, I don’t know—”

“Ray.” Zoran looked at his classmate. “Gay men can be just friends, you know.”

“But you’re always nice to me.”

Zoran smiled. “That’s what friends do.”

Ray thought for a moment. “Oh god, I’m so stupid. Kill me please.”

“It’s fine.”

“This is so embarrassing.”

“For what it’s worth, I’m flattered,” Zoran continued. “But, yeah, I’m sorry. I don’t really see you as more than a friend, if you know what I mean?”

Ray didn’t say anything.

“That’s not what you wanted to hear, huh?”

“Genuinely I’m not even sure what I wanted to hear,” Ray had to admit. “I think I’m still trying to get used to gay culture.”

“There’s not really much to it.” Zoran shrugged. “But I guess I know what you mean. When someone is fresh out of the closet they may also have trouble reading other people’s intentions. If you never let anyone close to you, it’s difficult gauging different levels of emotional proximity, if that makes sense. Not sure how much of that applies to you though.”

“No, I think I get it.”

“Did you ever have a girlfriend?”

“No.” Ray thought for a moment before he shook his head as if to get rid of his thoughts. “Can we just pretend this conversation never happened?”

“What conversation?”

Ray laughed. “Does your offer with the café still stand?”

“Of course.”

“Then, see you after class?”

“All right, see you later.”

Ray waved with the half-eaten muffin. “And happy belated birthday.”

“Ray, join us.” Shawn waved the freshman over to Isaiah.

It was late in the evening and Ray was bored. It was too early to go to bed but too late to go somewhere, so he went to the lounge to play a game on the console. At least that was his plan.

He approached the group. Apart from Shawn there were the two sophomores Uriah and Ivan, and Ben.

Ben’s decay had progressed substantially and it was now all too clear what he would turn into. Only his torso remained, with his head and his right arm. The left side had turned entirely into plastic and showed bone and muscle in different layers, while his abdominal wall was missing, revealing plastic organs.

Ben was turning into an anatomical model.

The four men were standing around Isaiah, except for Ben who was resting on a bar stool so he could reach the pool table’s surface.

Ray looked over the table. In the middle were playing cards and each player had varying amounts of poker chips. “You’re playing poker?”

“Yep,” Shawn confirmed. “Wanna join?”

“Sure. Are you playing for money?”

“Nah. We did at the beginning, but those who decay tend to just gamble all their money away, which isn’t a great idea in case we will be turned back eventually.”

“I see.” Ray put his hands on the rim of the table. “Why are you playing on Isaiah?”

“He was a huge poker fan,” Shawn reminisced. “Got me into poker in the first place actually. When he decided to be put into the lounge, he asked us to play poker with him every once in a while.” He shrugged. “And it turned into tradition.”

“You’re meeting regularly?”

“Once a month.”

“Here’s your chips.” Uriah moved the pile over to Ray. “We’ll finish this round first and then you’re in.”

“Thanks.” Ray began sorting his chips. “You’re Chris’s roommate, aren’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“How is he doing?”

Uriah shrugged. “He was pretty moody after the fight, but he’s doing better now in the last few days.”

“I raise.” Ivan dropped a couple chips into the middle. “400.”

Shawn did the same. “800.”

“Guys, I don’t have that much,” Ben complained.

Uriah looked at him. “Then you have to go all in.”

“Hrmph.” Ben reached inside of him and pulled out a kidney. “Can I bet this? Probably fetches a good price on the black market.”

Shawn smiled. “This is not strip poker.”

“Drats.”

“Are those your real organs?” Ray wanted to know.

“As far as I can tell, yeah.” Ben investigated the kidney. “They have tiny numbers written on them though and I don’t know what they mean.”

“Probably some markings for the manual or whatever,” Uriah mused. “So you know what’s what.”

Ben put the kidney back inside. “Okay, so who is going to turn into my manual then?”

The two sophomores chuckled, while Shawn’s face went sober. “Well, it ain’t me.”

Ray looked at him, trying to figure out what he meant. Shawn made eye contact but quickly looked down.

Had his decay started?

“Are you…” Ray’s question trailed off.

Shawn only nodded.

Ray forced his attention back to Ben, who seemed more comfortable with the situation. “Do you know how long you have left?”

“A month?” Ben guessed. “Something like that. I hope I don’t finish my decay before my party.”

“Party?”

“It’s a tradition for our group,” Ben explained. “Every time one of us turns, we throw a party. Everyone’s invited.”

“Why a party?”

“Why not?” Ben finally shoved his pile of chips into the middle. “Every group got its coping mechanisms. Ours is going out with a bang.”

Ray looked at Uriah and Ivan.

“We gather together in the lounge and play some Fast-Kart or whatever,” Uriah explained.

Ray turned to Shawn. “And you?”

Shawn pulled out a string that was divided into multiple differently colored segments. “Whenever one of us turns, he adds another piece to the string.”

“And what happens to the string after the last one has decayed?”

“I guess we never thought that far. It grew rather organically.” Shawn thought for a moment. “Maybe the staff will keep it, I don’t know.”

“Why a string?”

“Unity?” Shawn shrugged. “As I said, we didn’t really think about it. It just happened and we rolled with it.” He regarded the string. “But each of these segments is from one of my friends so that alone has special meaning to me.”

“I see.”

“Check.” Uriah knocked on the table.

Ivan did the same. “Check.”

Ben looked at Shawn. “Okay, what have you got?”

Shawn revealed his hand. “A flush.”

Ben seemed impressed, but then turned over his own hand. “Straight flush.”

“You absolute lucker.” Ivan tossed his cards away without revealing them and Uriah followed suit.

“Guess I’m back in the game, boys.” Ben reached for the pile of chips.

“Hold on a second.” Uriah stopped him. “You went all in, that means there’s a side pot.”

“Drats.”

While the others were distributing the chips, something on the side of Isaiah caught Ray’s eyes. He leaned down and saw a roughly triangular shape made of lines and thorns. It seemed as if it was painted with ink on the wood.

“Did anyone see this?” He asked the group. He hoped Isaiah hadn’t been vandalized.

Uriah leaned down as well. “That’s Isaiah’s tattoo.”

“He got a tattoo after his decay?”

“No,” Shawn chimed in. “For some reason tattoos are the only body modifications that persist throughout the decay.”

Ray continued staring at the tattoo. “Huh.”

“Anyway, new round.” He gestured towards Ray. “You’re the small blind.”

“Right.” Ray picked up a chip and tossed it into the middle.

“I mean, the 4-3 defense is pretty flexible and offers pretty good run defense,” Kenneth argued. He and Diego were currently in the gym’s locker room, getting ready for their shower. The two often worked out together, usually discussing football strategies while doing so. Their preferred time was in the evening when it was almost empty, just like today.

“Sure, but I’m saying, it’s not inherently better.”

“Why not?”

“Because the roles are pretty fixed, so a flexible offensive can outmaneuver the defense.”

“Mmh.”

“Its main strength is that it’s balanced, so it’s strong against a balanced offense,” Diego continued. “But you make yourself vulnerable to opponents overloading for running or passing.”

Kenneth closed his locker. “Fair.”

“As always, you cannot rely on a single strategy, not if you want your success to be consistent. A good captain and team is able to adapt to changing circumstances.”

“Guess you’re right.” Kenneth opened the door to the showers.

Someone was already there showering and the two didn’t pay it much attention as they moved to a stall each.

Then Kenneth saw Diego freeze, staring at the occupied stall.

Instead of one person, it was two men in there, with one of them kneeling in front of the other, his face buried in the standing man’s crotch.

The man standing was Chris. When he opened his eyes a few moments later, he panicked and moved away from the man on the ground, who turned around to see what got Chris spooked.

Now Kenneth could see that the man giving Chris a blowjob was Emu.

After processing what they had just walked into, the two team captains looked at each other in disbelief.

February

“Man, you guys are insane,” Nathan panted during a break between plays. “It’s getting hard to keep up.”

Marc was standing next to him, similarly out of breath. Recently the wins of the Daedalus team had become more consistent and today they had won the third practice in a row.

“Dunno, I think we’re evenly matched,” Marc countered.

“Yeah, but we’re also two years ahead.”

Marc nodded to his fellow freshmen. “Most of us tend to be a little older than the average age for freshmen.”

“Heh, true.” Nathan paused and looked at Marc, a question seemingly on his mind. “Why did you sign up anyway?”

Marc looked into the distance. “I’m sick, something genetic. The injection cured it.”

“But then you’ll be an object.”

“Nothing in life is free, isn’t it?”

“Fair enough,” Nathan ceded.

“Plus there’s always the hope they’ll find a way to change us back.”

“You can become a top athlete if they do.”

Marc shrugged and smiled. “I have other plans, to be honest.”

“Like what?”

“I want to help people, but I’m scared of being a doctor. Not sure I could handle that responsibility.” He looked at Nathan. “I’m studying environmental sciences, hoping that one day I can help people around the world preserving or creating arable land and such.”

“That’s pretty nice.”

“What about you?” Marc nodded to the football field. “You want to become a star athlete?”

“Heh, I’m not dumb. I know only a fraction gets successfully recruited and a fraction of that makes it to stardom.” He shrugged. “I mean that’s the dream of course, but I don’t count on it. It’s just a hobby at this point, keeping my options open. But my major is actually electronics installation and repair.”

“That’s a solid choice. There’s always a need for those.”

“Yeah, plus I don’t need to move.”

“Do you have any attachments here?” Marc probed. “Parents or boyfriend?”

“Nah, I just like it here.”

Marc cheered internally. He’s been enjoying Nathan’s company and now that he knew he was single…

Nathan pointed to Kenneth who signed to gather for a huddle. “Let’s not keep him waiting.”

Marc smiled and followed.

Gavin entered his dorm and threw his bag next to his bed. Normally he had the room to himself until Ben came back from wherever he went after class, but since he was now immobile, Ben was brought to their room as soon as class ended and only occasionally did one of his friends wheel him out for some outing.

“Hey.” Gavin sat down on his bed. He wanted to be alone, but he didn’t want to turn around immediately, so he began checking messages on his phone.

“Hey,” Ben said from his spot on the table where he had been put in front of his laptop. Previously he was sat on his bed when in his room, but he fell over on the mattress too easily. Plus he said spending his entire day in bed meant that he had a hard time falling asleep. “And before you leave again, I want to invite you to my party this weekend.”

“Party?” Gavin looked up. “Why?”

“I’ll be stuck in a room for a long while soon enough. I don’t need to start now.” Ben raised his remaining eyebrow. “Would you want to move into the vault as soon as possible?”

Gavin shrugged. “I guess.”

Ben seemed genuinely confused by that answer but didn’t comment further.

“But what I meant was,” Gavin clarified. “Why invite me?”

Ben blinked. “Because you’re my roomie? Well, technically all Daedalus guys are invited, but since you never come to any gatherings, I figured I’d give you a special invitation.”

Gavin looked back down at his phone. “I don’t like parties.”

“Why not?”

“Too many people, they’re loud.” Gavin frowned. “And drunk.”

“Mate, the secret is to get drunk too.”

“I can’t stand alcohol.”

Ben rolled his eyes. “Is there anything you like?”

Gavin paused. His go-to answer was something safe and mainstream like going to the park or hiking, but the truth was that he didn’t care about parks or the wilderness, only what they offered.

He decided to be honest this time. “Being alone.”

“Sheesh, fine.” Ben gave up. “But the offer still stands, in case you change your mind.”

“Thanks.” Gavin got up and left the dorm.

“Dude where does it even go?” Drew asked as Ben emptied another glass.

Ray and most of the other Daedalus students had come to Ben’s party. They went to a bar and had a little side room all to themselves. The staff seemed to know Ben’s group. It likely wasn’t their first decay party. Ben was of course the star of the show and standing on a table surrounded by booze.

His decay had progressed since last time Ray had seen him. More of his skin had turned into plastic and his left arm had disappeared just like the other.

“I have no clue.” Ben released the straw from his mouth. “But I’m not getting a buzz!”

“Well, you don’t have a stomach that can absorb it,” Uriah pointed out.

“Or a rectum,” Drew added, causing laughter at the table.

“This isn’t fair,” Ben lamented.

“Yeah, but on the plus side you can just order water and get the same experience as if you had alcohol.”

“I can still taste, you know.”

Ray zoned out of the banter and looked around. Most of the juniors and sophomores surrounded Ben’s table, while the freshmen stayed more at the periphery. They hadn’t fully integrated into the Daedalus circle yet, though some of them, like Kenneth and Yeong, were standing together in a group with the upper years.

And then there was Shawn, sitting there all by himself, staring into an invisible void in front of him.

Ray decided to join Shawn. He wouldn’t have come to a party if he didn’t want anyone talking to him and he looked like he could use some company. “How’s it going?”

Shawn produced a weak shrug. “It’s going.”

“Thinking about Liam?”

“And the others, yeah.”

Ray hadn’t even considered that. He never met the rest of Shawns group, so the fact that Shawn witnessed almost everyone in his group decaying into an object wasn’t on his mind. Ray wondered how he must have felt.

“How many were you?” Ray asked.

“Six.”

“Oh, I thought you were more.”

“Groups were pretty small until recently,” Shawn explained. “Yours is the biggest so far.”

“I see.” Ray thought back to Victor. “About the others… Does it get easier?”

Shawn grimaced. “No.” He didn’t say anything for a few seconds before getting up. “I’m getting another drink. You want anything?”

Ray raised his own glass to show that there was still something in it. “No, I’m good, thanks.”

He sat there, thinking about what Shawn said.

After a few minutes Pablo sat down next to him with a fresh drink in hand. He probably was getting a drink himself earlier. “Hi.”

“Hey.”

“Not much of a party animal, huh?”

Ray had to laugh. “Not really. You?”

“No, but this is the first time all the Daedalus people do something together.” He looked around the room, underlining the absence of some of the others, like Gavin and Fabian. “Or most of them at the very least.”

“Yeah, it’s kinda fun.” Ray looked over to Ben who was being cheered on by his friends as he emptied another glass. “But it isn’t my go-to activity, I have to admit.”

“What do you do in your free time?”

“Honestly not much.” Ray shrugged. “Before I came here I spent all day on the PC, but now that I only have a laptop and share a room with someone, I kinda toned it down a bit. But it’s still mostly a mix of internet and studying.”

“Yeah, I get that. I have an internet community I like to hang out with, but with someone else in the room I get a little bit self conscious about my online time. I do like hiking though on the weekends.”

“Oh, that’s cool.” Ray took a sip. “You like nature?”

“Yeah, the hiking is actually the less important part,” Pablo mused. “I often sit down at a nice spot and just enjoy the scenery around me.”

“I’d have assumed that’s a big part of hiking.”

“Maybe? I don’t know, I’m not a professional hiker.”

The two freshmen laughed.

“And you?” Pablo continued. “What do you do on the weekends?”

“Not much,” Ray had to admit. “Same as on any other day.” Then he remembered. “Last weekend I actually met with some friends to play a game.”

“Oh, what game?”

“Frontiers?” Ray was unsure if Pablo knew of the game.

“Ah, the tabletop game?”

“Yeah. You play it too?”

“No.” Pablo looked down at his drink. “I always wanted to but I never had someone to play it with in, uh, meatspace.”

“Heh, meatspace…” Ray was amused by Pablo’s choice of words. “If you want, you can come along next time. It’s easy to get into. Last weekend was my first time too.”

“Sure.” Pablo smiled. “Sounds fun.”

Shawn rested his forehead on his hands, sobbing to himself.

He used to be his group’s team captain. When there was a problem, it was his to solve.

But when his friends began to decay, there was nothing he could do but watch. Nobody could stop the process. One by one his friends turned into objects and were moved into the vault and each time it got harder.

Over time a small selfish part of him had wished that he would have been the first to decay, that he wouldn’t have had this responsibility.

Then, a few weeks ago, his own decay began.

Now he was sitting in the spectator stand of the campus’ football field, a place that was deserted at this time of the day. A mixture of grief, relief, anger and frustration formed a tangled knot in his throat that he tried to swallow but couldn’t.

“Shawn?”

He shot up, wiping the tears from his eyes and looked to his right where Austin was standing. “Yeah?”

“I wanted to return this to you.”

Shawn looked at the comic book in Austin’s hand. It was one of the few things the two had in common. “You can keep it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

Austin hesitated but brought the book closer to his body again. “Were you crying?”

Shawn guessed there wasn’t really a point in denying it. “Maybe a little.” He sniffed. “It’s fine.”

Austin sat down next to him. “Why?”

Shawn wasn’t sure whether Austin was being genuine or whether he thought this was the socially acceptable response. Austin was usually not very social, so this seemed out of character for him, but on the other hand Austin didn’t really care about social customs.

Maybe the whole situation got to Austin as well.

Shawn took a deep breath. If there was one person he could be blunt with and who wouldn’t take it personally, it was Austin.

Shawn lifted up his jacket and shirt to reveal the texture of tufted leather on his belly.

“A couch?” Was Austin’s only response.

“Probably, something like that.” Shawn shrugged. “Maybe an ottoman.”

“And that’s why you were crying?”

Austin’s question wasn’t an accusation, but it carried an implied question. None of the others cried when they turned. Why would Shawn?

And it was true, the decay itself wasn’t the reason.

“Not really,” Shawn had to admit. “It’s just… Seeing the others decay one by one. And not being able to do anything about it. It just all came rushing back I guess, the feeling of being powerless.”

“I see.”

Shawn took out the colored string. “I guess this is yours now.” He handed it to Austin.

“What am I supposed to do with it when I turn?”

Shawn had to laugh. “No idea. Burn it if you want. Or hold onto it. Give it to Mr Morales so he has a daily reminder to turn us back one day.”

“Mmh.” Austin pocketed the string.

Shawn hung his head. “I’m sorry for having been such a shitty captain.”

“Why do you think that?”

Shawn gestured to the empty field in front of them. “I mean look where the others are now.”

“And you think that’s your fault?”

Shawn didn’t have an answer. They were his responsibility. Of course it was his fault.

“You said it yourself,” Austin continued. “There was nothing you could do.”

“Yeah, but—”

“You were a great captain,” Austin cut him off. “And I know that the others think the same.”

Shawn was speechless. If anyone else had told him this he would have shrugged it off as them simply being nice, but Austin was never nice just for the sake of being nice. He meant it.

“Goodbye.” Austin stood up. “And thanks for the comic book.”

“Nathan, wait.” Marc jogged across the campus plaza to catch up with the sophomore.

He was currently moving to his next class and saw Nathan presumably doing the same. He figured this could be his chance.

“Hey, what’s up?”

Marc gathered his thoughts. This was easier in front of the mirror. “Any plans for after class today?”

“Not yet, why?”

“Umm, well, would you like to get a coffee or something?”

“A coffee?” Nathan stopped. “Why?”

Nathan’s tone made Marc uncomfortable, but maybe he was simply reading him wrong. “I was thinking, like, you know, it’s Valentine’s Day?”

“No, absolutely not.”

Marc was surprised by Nathan’s rudeness. “Okay, but you don’t have to be a dick about it.”

“Pff, whatever.” Nathan continued walking.

“Why are you so rude all of a sudden?”

“Rude?” Nathan turned around. “I’m just not interested in dating you guys.”

“Who is ‘you guys’?”

“Daedalus.”

“What’s your beef with us?”

“Nothing about you is real.” Nathan gestured at Marc’s body. “Your muscles, your intelligence. You’re not even truly gay.”

“Truly gay? What does that even mean?!”

“You have never been in the closet!” Nathan argued. “You don’t know what it’s like to have to hide from your own friends and family. You just come here, get everything presented to you on a silver platter, being picture perfect and everyone thinks that’s what gay men are like.”

“Are you serious?!” Marc shook his head in disbelief. “I’m very sorry your life was like this, but trauma isn’t a competition. And even if it was, you don’t know anything about me.”

“Oh please,” Nathan turned half around and began mocking Marc’s argument. “‘It’s not a competition, but I have it worse.’”

“I have a genetic disease that would leave me in pain for the rest of my life if it weren’t for the Daedalus program.” Marc’s nervousness had long since been replaced by anger. “And in exchange I will turn into an object for decades, if not forever.”

Nathan merely rolled his eyes.

“Just because others haven’t experienced the same hardships as you doesn’t mean they haven’t experienced any.” Marc’s voice began to quiver as Nathan’s rejection moved to the foreground again. “Or that they are undeserving of a modicum of respect.”

Nathan looked away.

“Guess I dodged quite the bullet there.” Marc walked past Nathan.

“What happened between Nathan and Marc?” Kenneth asked.

It was another break and the students were catching their breath while Kenneth and Diego were watching their teams from the sidelines. Nathan and Marc used to be on good terms, but recently it seemed like they were avoiding each other and Kenneth hadn’t seen them exchange a word today.

Diego shrugged. “No clue.”

On the other side of the field they saw Emu walking up behind Chris and slapped him on the butt. Chris whirled around and grabbed Emu by the collar. He waited for a moment, then pushed him away.

“Well, at least these two are getting along at last,” Diego remarked.

Chris and Emu conducted this choreography or variations of it rather often recently. Ever since Diego and Kenneth had walked in on them, they did not keep their relationship a secret although it also wasn’t openly talked about. Mr McCarthy was likely oblivious to what went on in the locker room showers or the locker room itself when the other students had left.

At first glance their behaviour could be read as antagonistic, as if little had changed to before, but if one looked closely, their body language revealed a drastic shift. From the gentle movements of Chris’s push, to how they locked eyes with each other and of course the way Emu licked his lips after being ‘dismissed’ by Chris, it was clear that the two were dancing, not fighting.

Nevertheless it also revealed that the two weren’t a couple, not in the traditional sense. To Chris it was a power play, while for Emu it was nothing more than sexual gratification.

“Yeah,” Kenneth agreed. “So much for being straight.”

“Mmh?”

Kenneth nodded to Emu. “Remember what he said on the first day? ‘Don’t get any ideas, we’re all straight.’”

“I mean, is he not?”

Kenneth tried to make sense of Diego’s question. “He’s sucking dick.”

“Yeah.”

“How does that not make you gay?”

Diego shrugged. “That’s up to him to figure out, not us.”

“Huh?”

“It’s not our place to tell others what they are.”

“Aw, come on, that’s bull.”

“It’s his identity,” Diego insisted.

“It’s not an identity. It’s just a fact. You’re a man who likes men, you’re gay. You’re a man who likes women, you’re straight. It’s simple.”

“And if you like both?”

“Fine,” Kenneth ceded. “I guess he’s bi then.”

“I don’t think it’s as easy as you make it out to be.”

“Why?”

Diego let his gaze wander across the field. “I thought I was gay for a while, you know. I had a girlfriend and I genuinely loved her, but in the bedroom it just didn’t work out. No matter how much I tried, she didn’t do it for me. I had to think of other men, cocks, muscles, the whole deal.

“I got by letting porn run while we had sex, focusing on the man rather than the woman. I felt like an impostor, that I was lying to her.” He shrugged. “We broke up eventually and I decided to play for the other team, so to speak, but no matter how many men I slept with, I couldn’t make a connection. Once we were done, I felt nothing.

“Eventually it hit me. I love women in a relationship, but I only enjoy sex with men.” He looked at Kenneth. “What does that make me, according to you?”

“I don’t know,” Kenneth had to admit. “I didn’t even know that’s a thing.”

“Neither did I. Heck, I still don’t know. Maybe I’m still just as confused as I was 4 years ago.”

“Mmh.”

“My point is, sexuality is complicated,” Diego concluded. “So I am not going to assume I know what other people are, especially when I am unsure about my own.”

“Do the others know?”

“They know I have a girlfriend.” Diego shrugged. “The rest has never come up.”

“And does she know?”

“She does and she’s fine with it. We’re open, so I can have my fun with guys.”

Kenneth looked at Diego. “I see.”

Shawn watched Octavio moving through the crowd, cruising as usual. He was standing near the entrance of the club, ready to move outside. He wanted to talk to Octavio, which was easier without the loud music.

Since he had spotted Octavio, Shawn was watching him. He wanted to make eye contact, but he wasn’t going to chase him.

Eventually it happened, Octavio looked his way and the two exchanged glances.

As Octavio came closer, Shawn moved to the entrance, but slowly enough to signal Octavio to follow him.

Once outside, he leaned against the building and waited.

“Hey.” Octavio joined him seconds later.

Shawn decided to cut straight to the chase. “I wanted to apologize for last time.”

“I think it’s me who has to apologize,” Octavio countered. “What I said was in poor taste given what you went through, or are still going through.”

“Thanks.” Shawn looked down to the ground. “But I also think I could have reacted better.”

“It’s okay. I’m not sure how I would have reacted in your situation.”

Shawn didn’t say anything.

Octavio smiled. “Did you only come today because you wanted to apologize?”

“There’s something else as well.”

Shawn lifted up his jacket and shirt to reveal the tufted leather that had by now spread over his entire torso. “I won’t be coming often anymore.”

“Do you know how long until…”

Shawn shrugged. “A month probably. Maybe two.”

Octavio slowly reached a hand out and felt over the leather. “It feels so—” He pulled back in an instant. “I’m sorry!”

“It’s fine.” Shawn lowered his shirt again. “Are you up for some fun today?”

Octavio smiled again. “Always.”

Kenneth’s fingers dug deep into the sheets while Diego reached climax. The grunts and thrusts pushed Kenneth over the edge too, and the two men came at the same time.

Save for the breath of two jocks, the room was silent. Diego had arranged for his roommate to leave him and Kenneth the dorm for a while.

Eventually Diego moved off Kenneth and handed him a towel.

“Thanks.” Kenneth wiped his own cum off his belly.

Diego stood up, peeled the condom off and quickly disappeared into the bathroom to throw it into the bin. “Do you wanna go first or shall I?” He shouted through the door.

“Go first for what?”

“Showering.”

Kenneth was confused. “I thought we could take a shower together.”

Diego came back through the door, smiling. “I told you I have a girlfriend.”

“You said you’re open.”

“For sex, yes,” Diego clarified. “But we’re not a polycule.”

Kenneth frowned. “So, I’m just good for sex, then?”

Diego seemed genuinely confused. “Dude, I told you I wasn’t looking for a relationship with men.”

Kenneth didn’t say anything.

Diego shrugged. “I’m just not interested in a male partner.”

“So that’s it then?”

“We can meet again, if you want.”

“No, I think I’m good.”

Diego seemed surprised by Kenneth’s behaviour, but decided not to comment on it further. “I’ll go first then.” With that he disappeared into the bathroom.

Kenneth didn’t feel like waiting. Yes, Diego had told him all of this before, but still Kenneth felt hurt.

He shook his head. Maybe he was just mad at himself for thinking this could be more than Diego told him it would be.

He got up, changed back into his clothes and left Diego’s dorm room.

Marc saw Kenneth sitting at the sidelines. Normally he was coordinating the team much more efficiently, but today he seemed rather distracted. His commands were random and oftentimes contradictory. To Marc it felt like he had lost the ability to be the team captain overnight but was still trying to play the role.

But what was even more notable was that he and Diego had not exchanged a single word today.

Marc sat down next to Kenneth during the break. “Anything wrong?” He nodded to Diego. “Did something happen between you two?”

Kenneth glared in Diego’s direction. “You could say that, but it’s fine.”

“I dunno, you’re a bit scattered today.”

“We all have our bad days.” Kenneth nodded in Nathan’s direction. “Besides, I could ask you the same thing.”

Marc followed Diego’s gaze. “Nathan?” He looked to the ground. “I guess he showed me his true colors.”

Kenneth gave Marc some seconds to elaborate. “Anything I should know?”

Marc shook his head. “I don’t think so. Just stupid personal drama.”

“You sure it doesn’t interfere with your performances?”

Marc considered how much he should say. He didn’t want Kenneth to hate Nathan just because of something Marc had told him, plus it could threaten team cohesion if Kenneth took it more seriously than it had to be.

He decided to omit the problematic bits. “I asked him out. Got rejected.” Marc shrugged. “I’ll get over it.”

“All right.”

“What about you two?”

Kenneth thought for a moment. “Dunno how much I should say, to be honest.” He got up as the break was almost over. “But he’s not holding a grudge against me, so really it’s just up to me.”

Marc stood as well. “Well, I hope you get over it soon then.” He put a hand on Kenneth’s shoulder. “We need our captain.”

Kenneth looked at Marc. “And I need my vice captain.”

Marc smiled and offered a fist bump. “Then let’s not let stupid drama get to us.”

Kenneth returned the smile and accepted the fist bump.

Gavin closed the door behind him as he entered his dorm.

Ben was standing on his bed. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Gavin glanced over to his roommate. The only organic parts of Ben were his right eye and mouth. “Did you have your PTO admission?”

“Yup.”

Gavin sat down. “Why are you on the bed?”

“Why not? I will likely have completed my decay by tomorrow morning. This way I get to spend one last night in my own bed, before I’ll sit on a shelf for the next few decades.”

“Mmh.” Gavin dropped his bag and began walking towards the shower.

“Hey Gavin?” Ben said before Gavn could open the door.

“Yeah?”

“I was a bit sad that you weren’t at my party,” Ben began. “I know we’re not close, but still, you’re my roommate and all the other Daedalus guys were there.”

Gavin didn’t quite know what to say. It had been days since Ben’s party and he hadn’t brought it up before. “Why are you telling me this now?”

“I dunno,” Ben had to admit. “Closure? It’s been on my mind and I guess I wanted to get it off my chest before I can’t talk to you anymore.”

“Okay,” Was all Gavin said before he opened the door and stripped out of his clothes to shower.

While the water was running down his body he was mulling over what Ben had said. He didn’t consider him a friend, but he still didn’t want to make him sad.

Part of him thought he should have come, but the other part knew that it wouldn’t have changed anything. Gavin wasn’t as social as the others. He would have only sat in the corner doing nothing. And he would have hated everything about it. It just was not justified expecting him to go through that just to make someone happy.

And yet, Ben’s feelings surprised him. He didn’t know Ben cared this much. He was the closest Gavin ever had to a friend. The least he could do was apologize to Ben for making him feel that way.

Gavin finished showering and stepped out of the bathroom. “Ben? I thought about what you said.”

Gavin expected a reaction but when he received none, he looked over to Ben.

He stepped closer.

Ben was completely immobile now, his mouth and remaining eye turned into plastic as well. While Gavin was showering, Ben must have completed his decay.

Gavin took a step back in surprise, but then realized that Ben was still there, that he could still hear him.

“Well,” Gavin finally continued. “Sorry about the party.”

“I think I’ll make a new character next time,” Pablo said as he and Ray were walking to their dorms.

It was late at night and they had just returned from their play session with Zoran and the others. Ray had a lot of fun and by the sound of it so did Pablo.

“You don’t like yours?” Ray asked.

“No, it’s not that,” Pablo explained. “But now that I know the rules better I think I want to try out a different build.”

“I see.”

The two were walking up the stairs to their dorms. At this time of the night, the entire hall was eerily quiet. Every word seemed amplified to echo through the entire building.

Once they got to Pablo’s door, he turned to Ray. “It was fun tonight.”

“Yeah.” Ray felt a little awkward. He enjoyed Pablo’s company and he wanted to spend more time with him, but it was late and so he didn’t find the right words to end the encounter.

“Are you up for other stuff sometime?”

“Like what?”

Pablo shrugged. “I don’t know. Going to the cinema?”

“I don’t know what movies are running right now.”

“Me neither.” Pablo had to laugh.

Neither said anything. It should have been an awkward moment, but Ray and Pablo simply smiled at each other.

But then Ray’s smile slowly faded. He remembered Zoran’s words. Were Pablo and Ray just friends or was there more?

And maybe even more importantly: What did Ray even want? He had misinterpreted his own feelings with Zoran. What if he did the same now?

And then there was the problem, what if he did decide to make the first move and Pablo declined? He swallowed.

He was pulled from his thoughts when Pablo moved his face closer, slowly, to check how Ray would react.

And without thinking, Ray closed his eyes and let Pablo kiss him.

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