A good song never dies

by Cockatrice   

After a tragic accident, Mike’s boyfriend was still around, in a way. A relief at first, but Mike knew he and Ari had to move on eventually.

Mike let his gaze wander around the club. None of the other men had caught his attention so far, but more importantly he hadn’t caught the attention of anyone else, something he was actually waiting for.

Then again, it might not be today. He was here to have fun, regardless of whether or not they would meet this time.

Mike was enjoying the eye-candy when a man-made eye contact with him and started to come over to Mike’s little corner. The man looked good, a very nice body that definitely spent a considerable time in the gym. And he had a very handsome face too, just his type. Was this him?

“Hey,” the man said once he stood in front of Mike’s table. “Is this seat taken?”

“Not yet.” Mike smiled.

“All by yourself.” The man sat down, his own drink in hand, returning a flirty look at Mike. “Waiting for someone?

“In a way, yes.”

The man raised his eyebrow, but his smile didn’t disappear. “Anyone in particular?”

“Just the right one.”

The man rotated his body to face into the club. “And do you think the right one is here today?”

Mike didn’t take his eyes from the man. “He might be very close, in fact.”

The two men’s eyes met and the man thought for a few seconds. “Only one heartbeat away from falling under his sway.”

“Tavern Prophets?” Mike faked surprise. “I didn’t think I’d hear someone quoting their songs in this day and age.”

“Well,” the man replied. “A good song never dies.”

That was it. This was the agreed upon code phrase. The phrase itself was another line from one of the band’s songs. Now Mike knew he had found the right person.

Now he knew that the man sitting in front of him was his boyfriend.

Ari collapsed next to his boyfriend on the bed. “And, how did you like it?” He was referring to the above average cock of his current host.

“It was nice,” Mike replied.

Ari could hear the silent word at the end of Mike’s sentence. “But?”

It took a second for Mike to reply, making it clear he was being serious right now. “I miss you.”

“I’m right here.”

“But it’s not your face… Or your smell.”

Ari took a deep breath but didn’t reply.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t-”

“Nah, you’re right,” Ari interrupted him. “Every time I look in the mirror…” He looked away and swallowed.

Mike put his fingers on Ari’s chin to make him establish eye contact again. He smiled, which prompted Ari to smile as well. “At least your smile is still the same.”

Both men didn’t say anything for a while. They were simply lying there, enjoying each other’s presence.

Some minutes later, Mike began to speak. “We need to figure out what we do in the long run.”

“What do you mean?”

“Ari… We can’t keep this going forever.” Mike tried to find the right words. “It’s not sustainable. How long until someone gets suspicious?”

Ari’s voice almost turned into a whisper. “I don’t want to leave you.”

“I don’t want to leave you either.” Mike swallowed. “But sometimes life isn’t about what we want.”

“Can we talk about this some other time?” The pain was visible on Ari’s face. “I just want to lie here with you right now.”

Part of Mike wanted to protest, wanted to say that this is something they would need to figure out sooner or later, but after everything Ari had gone through, both had gone through, it was difficult to say no.

And so the two men just lay there.

One month later

Mike scanned the club for any man who might catch his attention. He hadn’t seen Ari in a while, but that was not unusual.

He decided to have fun anyway. It was something they had agreed on early as there was no point in trying to keep it exclusive the way things were. In the long run they had to move on anyway. Mike knew that, but the heart was a stubborn muscle. Every time he went out he still hoped to see Ari again.

There were a couple of men that were just Mike’s type. Not that everyone else looked bad, but as it is when there are options, the mind gets choosy.

Mike was standing to the side, watching the men moving about to the rhythm of the music. He looked over to a guy on the other side of the dance floor, one of the men Mike had on his short list of potential interests. The man made eye contact with Mike and raised his glass in acknowledgement. Looked like Mike was his type as well.

Mike responded by raising his own glass. The man threw back his drink and walked away. Mike watched him walk up to the DJ booth to presumably request a song. Then he slowly made his way across the dance floor over to Mike. Curious, Mike finished his own drink and met the man in the middle of the dance floor.

There was no point in talking over the loud music. They could have shouted at each other, sure, but letting their chemistry do the talking seemed like the better option.

The man was even hotter up close. At the edge of the dance floor most of his form was shrouded in shadow but now Mike could see his toned muscle through his tank top.

And the way he was moving. This man knew how to dance. As they kept dancing to the music, they gradually moved closer and closer. Eventually the man put his hands around Mike, while Mike was subtly tracing the guys’ muscles.

At some point the man moved behind Mike and started to grind his crotch against Mike’s butt. It had been a while since Mike had such a passionate dance. He leaned into his dance partner as a familiar tune started playing.

Tavern Prophets. This was one of Ari’s favorites.

Mike decided to let himself get lost in good memories as the man behind him continued to caress his body and grind his butt.

Then came the part that Ari always loved so much. The man put his face next to Mike’s and spoke into his ear in sync with the lyrics. “A good song never dies.”

Mike whirled around to face the man, without breaking away from him. The man winked with a mischievous smile and suddenly it clicked in Mike’s head.

It was Ari. He had requested this song from the DJ and was waiting for it to come up in the queue.

Mike was momentarily too surprised to act but after a few seconds he grabbed Ari’s hand and led him out of the club.

“Well,” Ari said as he walked through the door to Mike’s new apartment. “It’s certainly… smaller.”

Mike had recently moved into a new flat. Ari and him had a three-room apartment, but without Ari there was no point in having such a big place to himself. Today was the first time Ari visited his new flat. Afterall, it had been a while.

“Yeah, didn’t really need three rooms anymore,” Mike said without mirth.

“Mmh, yeah.”

“Want a drink?”

Ari started walking around the living room. “Sure.”

“So, uh,” Mike began as he opened the fridge. “What do you wanna do today?”

“I dunno.” Ari rubbed nis neck. “How horny are you?”

Mike put two glasses on the counter and started filling them. “Umm, normal amount?”

Ari raised an eyebrow. “What’s ‘normal amount’?”

“I don’t know, just… I’m not at the level where I’m almost losing it but I’m, you know, up for it… If you are?”

Ari just looked at his glass.

“Are you?” Mike continued.

“My guy’s not really horny today.”

“Oh, it’s based on your host?”

“Seems like it.” Ari took a sip and shrugged. “Guess it makes sense. I am using their biochemistry and hormones, ey?”

“Seemed pretty into it on the dance floor,” Mike teased.

“You know I like to dance,” Ari countered. “And I know you like it when we grind on the dance floor.”

“Heh, fair enough.”

“But I mean, we can still do something if you want,” Ari offered. “It’s your evening.”

“My evening?” Mike was surprised but quickly found himself. “Ari, these are our evenings. And quite frankly, I can do whatever I want whenever I want. Let’s use these times to do what you want to do.”

Ari looked down at his drink. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, really.” Mike thought for a moment. “So, what do you wanna do?”

“Do you still have my Walkman?”

“Of course!” Mike pointed to the TV stand. “The lower right cubby.”

Ari emptied his glass and walked over to retrieve his Walkman. Ari always had a thing for old stuff. The fact that his Walkman still worked was nothing short of a wonder.

Ari knelt down to pull out the cubby basket. “We can watch a movie later.”

“Sure sounds good. I’ve actually added some new ones to our list.”

When there was no reply, Mike craned his neck to see Ari holding his helmet, looking at the scrapes on the visor.

“I’m sorry.” Mike couldn’t get himself to get rid of Ari’s motorcycle gear, not yet. “Do you want me to throw it out?”

A few seconds passed before Ari replied. “Nah. Nah, it’s fine.” Ari finally put the helmet back in the basket and fished out his Walkman. “I was just surprised you kept it, is all.” He walked over to the couch as he put the earbuds in. “So, movie later?”

“Sure.”

“All right.” With that Ari turned on his Walkman and lay down on the couch.

Mike refilled the glasses and fetched some snacks for later and put it all on the table. As he joined Ari on the couch, he was offered one of the earbuds. Mike smiled and accepted.

“Tavern Prophets?” He asked after he heard the first notes. “Do you ever get tired of their songs?”

Ari smirked. “A good song never dies.”

Mike closed his eyes, embracing his boyfriend.

And for a little while it was as if nothing had changed at all.

“Mmh, not sure if I’d call that a happy ending.” Mike stared at the movie selection screen on their TV. Ari and him had just finished their movie. Ever since the accident they only watched light fare with happy endings, though what constituted as happy endings in romances may sometimes be subjective.

“Yeah,” Ari said through a mouthful of salted peanuts. “Should’ve gone for the doctor, not that Toby guy.”

“Mmh? Why the doctor?”

“Stable income.”

“Is money everything?”

“Nah, but no money is nothing.” Ari helped himself to some more peanuts. “And that artist will be bankrupt if he keeps it up like that.”

Mike smiled. “I don’t think it’s supposed to be realistic.”

“Meh. I think decisions in movies should have consequences just like they do in real life.”

Mike looked at Ari. His boyfriend was suddenly very sober, a stark contrast to earlier when he was joking around.

“Any regrets?” Mike asked his boyfriend.

Ari thought for a moment. “I don’t think so.” He stared at the ground in front of him. Both men knew they were talking about the accident. “When the car appeared in front of me to overtake, neither of us could brake in time. I had to pick left or right in less than a split second. I didn’t have time to think.” Another moment passed. “There was no space for decisions. And so there shouldn’t be space for regrets.”

Mike decided to change the subject but wanted to capitalize on the serious mood right now. “What is it like?”

“What do you mean?”

‘Dead’ would have been the answer but Mike still felt uncomfortable saying the word out loud. “Not having a body.”

“It’s odd.” Ari squinted as if having trouble explaining. “I don’t really see with my own eyes when I’m outside a host. It’s more like a general awareness of what’s happening around me?”

“You don’t see things visually?”

“That’s the thing. I kind of do, but it’s very diffuse and…” Ari gesticulated for a second before giving up. “I really don’t know how to explain it better.”

“How much do you know about your hosts before you pick one?”

Ari shrugged. “Nothing. I pick them purely based on looks. I don’t really know anything else about them, unless enough people around them know. If someone is the center of attention, I tend to have a clearer image and I just happen to know some things about them as a person. My theory is that I see the world through the eyes of others and what I see is distorted by their perception.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, that’s how I make sure I pick one who isn’t there with his boyfriend or friends who could see him ‘cheating’.”

“Heh.”

“Still, I usually wait for half an hour or so in case someone just went to the toilet.” Ari smirked. “Happened a couple times.”

“What do you do with your hosts after you leave?”

Ari leaned back and grinned a mischievous smile. “I possess a serial killer and dump their bodies in the river.”

“Ari.”

“I lie down on a bench somewhere in a park. I assume they just wake up and think they had a hangover or something.”

Mike noticed Ari was rubbing his throat. “Everything all right?”

“Yeah.”

“So they don’t remember anything?”

“Not as far as I know, nah.” Ari swallowed as if something was stuck in his throat. “I actually possessed the first guy after our date to see if he texted anyone about what happened. I even sent a message to who I think was his boyfriend or fuckbuddy to see if he would remember it later.”

Ari continued rubbing his throat.

“Are you really all right?”

“I dunno. It’s getting harder to breathe.”

Now Mike was alarmed. “Is it getting worse?”

Ari nodded. “Yeah, it’s like my airways are closing up. Crap, does this guy have an allergy?”

Mike’s eyes fell on the peanuts on the table. “Shit, I’m calling the ambulance.”

While Mike was hastily describing the situation on the phone, Ari continually sank down on the couch until he was lying on it.

By the time Mike was done with the call, Ari’s breath was a rattle and his eyes were staring at the ceiling in panic.

“I’m here.” Mike leaned over Ari. “Don’t leave me!”

Ari focused on Mike, his eyes forming a voiceless plea: ‘I don’t want to die again.’

“Hey, how do you feel?” Mike asked, unsure whether he was talking to Ari or his host.

When the ambulance arrived they rushed Ari to the nearest hospital. Mike didn’t want to go with them as the ‘official’ narrative was that they were on their first date. It would have been weird to act that attached to each other.

Still, he followed the ambulance and arrived a short while later at the hospital. He wasn’t sure if Ari was still in his host, but he wanted to at least check.

A nurse directed him to his ‘date’, who was still lying on a bed outside in the hallway. Luckily, it was a rather quiet corner so if Ari was there, the two could still talk.

“Much better,” the man on the bed said. “They gave me something to reduce the swelling.”

Mike noticed the absence of surprise. Ari’s host would not have recognized him. It meant he was talking to his boyfriend.

“Did they say anything about how long they’re gonna keep you?” Mike wanted to know.

“They said they wanted to keep me for the night.” Ari’s eyes fell on the box of chocolates in Mike’s hands. “What’s that by the way?”

Mike laughed. “An apology for the botched date.”

“Aw, you shouldn’t have,” Ari joked.

“I just brought it in case you’re not here anymore.” Mike handed him the box. “So I’d have a reason to come.”

“Hope there’s no peanuts in it.”

Mike shook his head. “Best not eat it. We don’t know what other allergies you have. Let the guy decide tomorrow.”

“Fine.” Ari put the box next to him. “Nurses might take it away anyway for that reason.”

Mike took a quick glance towards the reception, to make sure they weren’t being watched. “How long are you planning to stay?”

“I figured I’d leave during the night. Don’t wanna make a scene right now. I figure waking up confused is more natural than just suffering from amnesia one moment to the next.”

“Makes sense.”

“I’ve actually been acting a bit zoned out to make it feel more natural tomorrow.”

“Don’t overdo it.” Mike frowned. “They can probably tell when someone’s faking it.”

Ari shrugged. “What are they gonna do? Not believe the guy tomorrow when he says he doesn’t remember anything?”

Mike had to laugh, before he sobered up again. “I hope they run a drug test. Don’t want them to think I spiked his drink or something.”

“They did take a blood sample. Not sure what they’re gonna test for, though. And I can’t really ask them beforehand, especially while I’m trying to act like I’m not all there.”

“Mmh mmh,” Mike agreed.

Neither of the two said anything for a few seconds.

“Well then,” Mike finally said. “I guess I better go.”

“Can I get a kiss?”

Mike raised an eyebrow. “On a first date?”

“People kiss on first dates.” Ari frowned. “We kissed on our first date.”

“True… But your guy won’t remember anything. It’s a bit weird if a nurse tells him or something.” He reached for Ari’s hand. “Next time, okay?”

“All right.” Ari squeezed Mike’s hand. “I’ll miss you.”

The phrase conjured a clump in Mike’s throat and he could only nod before he left.

One week later

“You’re in luck,” Ari said as Mike closed the apartment door. “Tonight’s host is very horny.”

Mike didn’t say a word and instead just guided Ari to the living room.

“The couch?!” Ari’s voice was equal parts surprise and anticipation.

After both men had sat down, Ari went for a kiss.

Mike went along. Afterall, he wanted nothing more than being together with his boyfriend, but after a few seconds he gently pushed Ari to break the kiss. “We need to talk.”

“Is it about the peanut thing?” Ari sighed. “Look, I just won’t eat anything and just drink water, it’s fine.”

“It’s not just allergies, Ari. What if your host needs an insulin shot or something like that? Has an asthma attack? We wouldn’t know what he needs and where he has it.”

Ari looked away, trying to figure out the answer.

But Mike wasn’t finished. “But it’s not even just that. You’re… We’re using other people’s bodies against their will.”

Ari didn’t reply and instead just looked down at the space between them.

“And how long until someone makes the connection that I am involved in all of these men losing their memory?” Mike continued. “What will they think I did to them?”

“What do you propose?” Ari asked without looking up.

Mike hesitated. He knew what he needed to say, but it was difficult to actually voice it. “We can’t continue like this.”

“So, you want to break up?” Ari’s voice croaked with grief.

“It’s not breaking up.” Mike put Ari’s hands in his. “It’s… putting it on hold, for the time being.”

“Until when?”

“You know, Ari. When it’s my time.”

Ari finally looked up, tears welling up in his eyes. “I don’t want to leave you.”

“I know.” Mike’s own tears were threatening to swallow his sight, the clump in his throat, his voice. “But what choice do we have?” He thought for a moment. “One day I will join you.” He squeezed Ari’s hands. “And then we will make up for all the time we couldn’t have now. Every single second.”

Ari just sat there for several moments, as if thinking or bracing himself, before he found his voice again. “One last kiss?”

Mike managed a pained smile. “One last kiss.” He rested his forehead against Ari’s. “Until we meet again.”

Two months later

Mike was standing to the side of the dance floor. Next to him was one of the men Ari had possessed once and Mike shot him a glance every once in a while. They made eye contact occasionally, but the man didn’t seem interested. Eventually, the man took his drink and sauntered off into the distance.

Mike figured that it was already a good thing the guy didn’t remember anything. Having him be interested in Mike would have probably been too much to ask for.

He emptied his glass and made his way to the dance floor. Time to clear the head and dance those bad feelings away.

For a while Mike was dancing alone, but then a man approached him. He raised his eyebrows, wordlessly asking Mike if he was okay with it. Mike nodded. The man was no Adonis, but he wasn’t bad looking. Ari had spoiled Mike a little bit, so Mike had to make the conscious effort to give other men a chance.

The man came closer, and both were dancing for a while. The man’s moves were nothing to write home about, but still, Mike got into the flow. The man looked likable enough and he seemed to be into Mike.

But there was a thought in the back of Mike’s head that he couldn’t shake off. There was no indication that this was Ari. It couldn’t be. It shouldn’t be. Still, Mike had to make sure.

Mike leaned forward to be heard over the noise. “What kind of music do you like?”

The man thought for a second, probably surprised by the odd question. “A bit of everything?” He leaned forward a second time. “Whatever makes me dance.” He smiled.

This was not how Ari would have replied, but Mike wanted to eliminate all doubt. He leaned forward again. “Do you like Tavern Prophets?”

The man simply shrugged without a verbal answer. Seems like he didn’t have strong opinions on the band or their songs.

A pang of relieved disappointment shot through Mike’s body. This was definitely not Ari, though a small part of him wished it was. He knew that they both had to move on but his feelings for Ari had never changed. Still, Mike smiled, and the man smiled back.

A part of Mike felt guilty dancing with this guy. No, that part of Mike felt guilty enjoying dancing with this guy. It had only been months since Ari’s accident, but knowing that Ari wasn’t truly gone, merely waiting, allowed Mike to process his grief faster. He decided to shake off the feeling. There was nothing to feel guilty about. They had agreed on this even when Ari was still around.

The two men continued dancing for a little while, before they both needed a break and headed for the bar.

As the barkeeper prepared their drinks, the man introduced himself. “I’m Xander by the way.”

“Mike.”

“So.” Xander took his drink. “Would you swipe left or right?”

Mike had to laugh. “Which way was showing interest again?”

Xander smiled. “Right.”

“Then right.”

“That makes us a match.” Xander thought for a moment. “You like Tavern Prophets?”

“Guess so.” Mike looked away, his smile involuntarily fading. “It brings back memories from a happier time.”

“What happened?”

Mike took a breath and waved the topic away. “Sorry I brought it up.” He forced a smile. “Let’s talk about it some other time.”

“Some other time?” Xander’s face lit up. “That means you wanna meet again?”

“Sure, if you want.”

Xander raised his drink to clink glasses. “I’d love to.”

One month later

“You know,” Mike turned his head to look at Xander lying next to him. “This was actually a good idea.”

Both men were currently attending a concert of one of Mike’s favorite bands from afar. Instead of standing in the crowd, they were lying on a blanket on a nearby hill, close enough to hear the music but not close enough to see the band.

Mike had never done it this way. With Ari they would always be in the midst of it. Xander, however, didn’t quite share the same enthusiasm for music and dancing as Mike and Ari. He suggested this method where they had room and could do what they wanted without having strangers constantly bump into them.

Mike didn’t really mind being in the center of all of it, but he appreciated the quiet as well. And these spots were much cheaper too.

“Told you,” Xander replied.

“You know, you never told me of your favorite bands.”

Xander shrugged. “I don’t really have any.”

Mike furrowed his brow. “But you do listen to music.”

“I don’t listen to specific bands.” Another shrug. “I just listen to whatever I stumble across that I like.”

“A musical omnivore.”

Xander laughed. “That’s me.”

“But bands tend to have a certain style,” Mike pointed out. “If you like one song of theirs, you will likely enjoy their other songs as well.”

“True.” Xander thought for a moment. “Sometimes when I add songs to my playlist I actually am surprised to see it being like the third or fourth song from the same band and I wasn’t aware.”

“So you do have favorite bands.” Mike smirked. “You’re just not aware of it.”

Xander laughed again. “Maybe.”

Both men didn’t say anything for a while.

Xander turned his head to look at his boyfriend. “Mike?”

“Yeah?”

“When we first met you said something about Tavern Prophets reminding you of a better time.” A short pause. “Wanna talk about it?”

Mike looked up at the sky. “I had a boyfriend once who was really into that band.”

“Oh. May I ask why you broke up?”

Mike gave Xander a pained look. “He died.”

“Shit, I’m sorry.”

“You see now why I didn’t want to bring it up back then?” Mike managed a weary smile. “Not exactly first date conversation material.”

“No...” Xander thought for a few moments. “Do you still think about him?”

“Every day.” When there was no reaction from Xander, Mike looked at him. “Is that weird for you?”

“Not at all.” Xander put his hand on Mike’s. “You lost someone you loved. Such a loss never leaves us.”

Mike took Xander’s hand in his and squeezed. He looked up at the sky and listened to the distant concert.

Two months later

When Mike entered the bedroom, he found Xander sitting on the bed and staring at the mirror. “Everything all right?”

Xander had been waiting for Mike to finish douching. It took a few moments for him to turn around, as if he was lost in thought. “Yeah, yeah, everything’s good.”

Mike crawled onto the bed. “By the way what did the mechanic say?”

“Uh, about what?”

Mike hesitated for a moment, waiting for Xander to remember. “The sink?” No reaction. “Didn’t you call them earlier?”

“I- I dunno.” Xander rubbed his forehead, visibly uncomfortable. “I forgot.”

“I’m worried about you, you know?” Mike looked at his boyfriend. “These bouts of amnesia. You should go see a doctor.”

“Nah, it’s fine,” Xander retorted. “I just need to lie down afterwards.”

Mike tilted his head to show his disagreement.

“Look. If it doesn’t get better in the next few weeks, I’ll go, okay?”

“Promise?”

A weak smile formed on Xander’s face. “Yeah, promise.”

Mike thought for several seconds. “Fine. And if you don’t, I’ll drag you there.”

“Deal.”

“All right then.” Mike beckoned Xander to join him on the bed. “Let’s have some fun.”

One week later

“What are you listening to?” Mike asked Xander.

Both of them were lying on the couch right now. It was lazy Sunday and while Mike was reading a book, Xander was listening to music on his phone.

Without a word Xander offered Mike an earbud.

Mike accepted and recognized the chords immediately. “Tavern Prophets?” He returned the earbud. “Got into them after all, huh?”

“Yeah, every now and then.”

Mike put his book on the table. “Want a snack?”

Xander put his head on Mike’s chest and looked up at his face. “Is the snack Mike shaped?”

Mike laughed and wiggled himself out from under his boyfriend. “Maybe later.”

“Yeah, I guess I’ll take something.”

Mike went into the kitchen and opened the cabinet. “Something sweet or something salty?”

“I guess I’ll take something sweet.”

Mike grabbed a bag of gummies. “To think there’s still people in this day and age who fall in love with their songs.”

“Well, you know what they say,” Xander replied. “A good song never dies.”

Mike froze. Something in his mind suddenly clicked. Xander listening to tavern prophets. His forgetfulness. Even the speech patterns.

Mike turned around. His voice quivered at the realization. “Ari?”

“Yeah?” Xander was looking at his phone, presumably scrolling through songs. Suddenly his fingers ceased their movement. “Who’s Ari?”

A cold shower went down Mike’s spine. “How long?”

Xander didn’t look up from his phone. “What do you mean?” His body language was that of someone who didn’t know how to continue, not of someone who was confused.

“How long, Ari?”

Xander’s body stood up to face Mike. His face was distorted by grief, as if suddenly realizing what he had done. “Two weeks?” He looked around. “Only for short times. One hour at a time or so.”

Mike approached his boyfriend. “Ari, we talked about this.” He gently shook his head. “You have to move on.”

Tears welled up in Ari’s eyes, but he didn’t say anything.

Mike gathered his thoughts. “I know it’s hard. Every time I go out, a small part of me hopes to meet you there. That there is a way to go back to how things were before.” He swallowed. “But that’s not possible.” He looked Ari in the eyes. “The best we can do is wait and one day we will meet again.”

In that moment Mike didn’t see Xander. He saw Ari. And Mike knew Ari’s face. Ari wasn’t telling him something.

“We will meet again,” Mike repeated. “Right?”

A tear ran down Ari’s face. “The realm of the living is not meant for the dead. Unless we leave for the afterlife, we fade within months.”

“Ari!” Mike grabbed his boyfriend’s shoulders, panic rising in his voice. “You have to leave. Now!”

Ari looked into the distance.

“You can still go, right?”

Ari focused on Mike again. “The gates are still open.”

“Then go!” Mike insisted. “Please.”

Ari grimaced. “I don’t want to leave you.”

“I don’t want to lose you!” Mike cried. “Not again.”

There was no reaction as Ari lowered his eyes to the ground.

“When you died,” Mike continued. “I thought I had lost you forever. I didn’t know what to do with myself. My world was turned inside out. Everything felt like a movie that I was not a part of.” His voice turned into a whisper. “I can’t go through that again.”

Finally, Ari spoke. “What about your new boyfriend?” There was no hint of accusation in his voice. “Will you still love me, when we meet again?”

“We’re not the first couple that has to deal with that. We’ll figure it out.” Mike grabbed Ari’s hands. “And you said it yourself.” He smiled through a sob. “A good song never dies.”

Ari didn’t reply, but his face softened.

“Ari, promise me that you’ll be there when it’s my time,” Mike insisted. “Promise me that we will meet again in the afterlife.”

Ari hesitated, but he slowly nodded his head. “I promise.”

Mike embraced Ari, who started sobbing into the nook between Mike’s neck and shoulder.

Ari’s fingers dug into Mike’s back as if not wanting to let go. “I’ll miss you so much.”

“I’ll miss you too.”

Several seconds passed, until Mike’s boyfriend slowly pulled away.

He looked at Mike’s face with concern. “Why are you crying?” Then he realized the quiver in his voice and brought a hand to his face to wipe away a tear. “Why am I crying?”

Ari was gone. Mike hugged his boyfriend again, though this time more to comfort himself than him.

As he was holding Xander, Mike sent a silent farewell to his late lover.

62 years later

Mike woke up to gentle rocking and the sound of waves.

He slowly got up to find himself sitting inside a boat, floating on an open ocean. The boat was surrounded by a thick fog on all sides.

How did he get here? What even was this place? Mike tried to recall what he did before he woke up, but it was difficult to remember. Was he dreaming?

He felt strange engravings where he rested his hands. Now he noticed that he wasn’t sitting in a boat. It was simply a hollowed-out log.

The sides of the log where he had his hands, had carvings in them, depicting certain scenes. People.

He scanned the carvings. They seemed to make a certain amount of sense. They showed the same person, though going in one direction the person seemed to get smaller, younger.

Now Mike realized that these scenes depicted various snapshots of his life. His parents holding him. His first day at school. His first love. His first heartbreak.

Then he remembered something. He quickly went through the carvings to find a set of scenes.

Then he found the first. It showed him dancing in a club, with another man dancing close to him. Behind the man was the floating shadow of a third man.

Mike smiled. That was the first time Ari met him again after his death.

The next scene was him sitting at a bar. There was no shadow. That’s when he met Xander.

The scene after that he still remembered very well. It showed him embracing Xander, with Ari’s shadow floating behind his boyfriend. That was the last time he talked to Ari.

As if that was a key memory to unlock the rest, Mike remembered how he got here. He was sick. His body was failing due to old age. Mike had spent the last weeks in a hospital.

Then it dawned on him.

Mike was dead.

He didn’t witness himself dying. He merely drifted off to sleep one night and didn’t wake up. Then he remembered going through an opening to another place, the gates, as Ari had called it.

Suddenly the fog cleared and a beach appeared in front of him, stretching out towards the horizon on both sides.

Mike looked at his hands. Depending on what memories he focused on they became either wrinkled or smooth. His appearance encompassed the entirety of his lifespan.

With a gentle hitch the log came to rest in the sand.

Mike got out of the boat and looked around him. At first he couldn’t see anyone, but then he saw a person standing on a dune.

He froze when he realized who that was.

Ari.

Mike jogged up the hill and threw himself into Ari’s arms. The two embraced each other for a while before Mike gently broke away.

He looked at Ari. “How long have you been waiting here?”

“A second.” Ari smiled. “An eternity.” He looked over the beach. “I’ve been standing here since I arrived.” Upon Mike’s confused face, he added. “Don’t worry, time flows differently here.”

“It’s empty,” Mike commented. “I expected the afterlife to be a bit more crowded. Or is it personalized for everyone?”

“Nah.” Ari shook his head. “But it’s infinite. Space also flows differently here.”

“Ah.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll naturally learn the nature of this place in time.” Ari smiled. “Besides, this isn’t the afterlife proper. It’s more like the path towards the afterlife. The front yard so to speak.”

“So, should we move on then?”

“We’re not in a rush.” He gestured towards a motorbike that stood a few meters away from them on a piece of road that vanished into the dunes on one side and stretched out towards the horizon on the other. “What do you say? Up for a joyride?”

“Maybe another time?” Mike asked. “Is that possible?”

“Yeah, of course.” Ari held Mike. “We now have all the time in the world.”

Several seconds passed, before Mike spoke again. “Do you mind meeting my husband?”

“Is it still Xander?”

“Yes.”

Ari didn’t look thrilled. “You spent more time with him than me.”

“Ari, it’s not a competition.” Mike thought for a moment. “I love you both in different ways. And I can’t imagine a life lived without either of you.”

There was no reply from Ari.

“If you don’t want to meet him, you don’t have to. We’ll catch up another time. But I want to be here for him the way you were here for me.” He looked up at Ari. “He didn’t leave my side in the last few weeks.”

“I guess I can wait here with you, then,” Ari agreed. “At least I’ll have an opportunity to apologize to him.”

Both men sat down on a nearby rock to wait.

Mike put his head in Ari’s lap. “I missed you so much, you know.”

Ari’s fingers went through Mike’s hair. “I missed you too.”

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