Good Johnson

by Cockatrice

They say dicks often have a mind of their own, but Colton's dick takes this to a new level.

Added: 8 Feb 2020 Updated: 13 Jun 2020 14,875 words 2,571 views 4.5 stars (4 votes)

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It was early in the morning when Colton was lying in bed. His alarm clock would not ring until half an hour later. But while he was still fast asleep, his dick was wide awake. Unlike other dicks, it has always been a bit of a thinker, unbeknownst to its owner.

Tonight it had thought about its life, or rather its owner’s life. It had thought about what it meant to be a good dick. Naturally, a dick should be used as a pleasure organ by its owner, and Colton’s dick was used a lot. But something made Colton’s dick unhappy. It wasn’t the amount of sex, it was the amount of people Colton had sex with. It was always a different hole or mouth every time. Meeting the same orifice twice was rare. Colton moved from partner to partner, never developing a bond with anyone. His dick meanwhile was craving for someone to love, someone to get to know. The life of moving from one to the next was making Colton’s dick unsatisfied.

It wondered whether that made it a bad dick. It was supposed to be just an organ. It was supposed to just perform its task, nothing more, nothing less. It was a dick, not a person.

But what if—

No, Colton’s dick shook the thought away. Other dicks carry through as well, regardless of how they feel. If they could do it, Colton’s dick could too.

But some doubt remained. As Colton’s dick was resting between its owner’s legs under the sheets, it couldn’t help but long for something it couldn’t have. If only it could live its own life…

Something was disturbing Colton’s sleep. Something wasn’t right. As he was passing through the realm of being half asleep, something in the corner of his mind made out a presence nearby.

Colton’s eyes shot open and upon seeing a dark figure in his bedroom, he almost jumped from the lying position to the head end of the bed. It was hard to make out anything in the early dawn, but there was definitely a human standing on the other side of the room.

Between trying to get up and grabbing a nearby object as a makeshift bludgeon, he only got out a garbled mess, before catching himself.

Colton was standing on his bed, holding a fleshlight above his head, ready to strike. “Who the fuck are you?!”

The other person stood there, naked. It was a man as far as Colton could tell, although one important piece was missing: The man’s crotch was empty. It was just smooth skin where a dick and balls should be.

The man looked like a surprised animal more than an intruder. “I’m sorry. I-”

“Where is your dick?” Colton cut him off. Something made him glance down his own crotch. “Oh my god where the fuck is my dick?!”

“…I am your dick.”

Colton lowered the fleshlight at the absurdity of that reply, his face distorted by disbelief. “What?”

“I detached from your crotch during the night.” The man rubbed his shoulder nervously, which Colton could feel as if someone was touching his dick. “I’m sorry.”

Upon feeling his dick touch itself, Colton dropped his fleshlight onto the bed. His own dick was no threat to him.

“Well,” Colton pointed to his crotch. “Then get back here?”

The man furrowed his brow. “No.”

Colton tilted his head, as if he did not hear properly. “What?”

The man’s previous nervousness shifted to resolve. “I don’t want to reattach.”

Colton closed his eyes as he gathered his thoughts. “You’re a dick… You’re my dick.”

“I’m a person now.”

“Okay, look,” Colton began. “I have absolutely no fucking clue how this happened, and honestly I don’t give enough of a fuck, but I need my dick back, you got me?”

His dick crossed his arms. “I don’t care.”

Colton raised his voice a little. “Why don’t you want to be my dick anymore?”

His dick gestured with one arm and looked up as if to find the right words. “I don’t like your life choices.”

“You don’t like my—” Colton shook off the sentence. “I will not let my cock criticize my fucking life!”

His dick looked away, although he still seemed angry.

“Okay, you know what.” Colton looked over to his alarm clock, which was 5 minutes away from beeping, and turned it off. “I don’t have time for this right now.” He walked over to the door of his bedroom but stopped and turned around at the door. “You stay where you are!”

After that he exited the room, only to peek through the frame not three seconds later. “How do I pee?”

The man who was Colton’s dick blinked. “I do that.”

“Through your…” Colton’s index finger made a whirl in front of him. “Mouth?”


“Do I also cum through your mouth?”

“Of course.”

Colton thought for a moment but shook off whatever went through his head. “Get over here, I need to pee.”

The two entered the bathroom where Colton was going for the sink to brush his teeth while his dick went for the toilet to relieve Colton. After his dick was done, he was simply standing there next to the toilet. With a mouth full of foam, Colton pointed at the toilet, prompting his dick to flush. Afterwards he had to gesture him over to the sink to wash his hands and rinse his mouth.

After his dick was done, Colton spat out into the sink. “So much for being your own person.”

After rinsing his own mouth, Colton went back to the bedroom to get dressed.

“All right.” He said to his dick as he appeared in the door while Colton put on his clothes. “What should I call you?”

“I don’t know.” His dick mused. “I never thought of a name.”

Without waiting for his dick to make up his mind, Colton decided. “All right, you’re John then.” After pulling on a shirt, he approached John. “Well then, John, We will have to sort this out later, because I need to go to work. You stay here until I get home, understood?”

John looked down, struggling between independence and obedience. “Yes.”

“Good.” Colton slipped past John through the doorway. “Food is in the fridge.”

“I don’t need to eat.”

Colton stopped, one hand on the door to his apartment. “Right… Well, have fun with the TV. You know how to use a TV?”


“Of course you don’t.” Colton said to himself. “Well, enjoy your one day as a human.” He said before he left, slamming the door shut behind him.

“You think Colton looks a bit stressed today?” Dexter was saying as he organized some papers.

“I dunno, you tell me.” Peter replied as he was taking a look at the calendar behind Dexter. “I’m a machine person, not a people person.”

Dexter rolled his eyes. “Mechanics.”

“Receptionists.” Peter echoed.

“Hey hey hey, I am an ‘office assistant secretary’, thank you very much.”

“We don’t even have an office.” Peter gestured at the vista around them. “This is a gym.”

“So that’s why there’s so many hot guys walking around.” Dexter smirked. “It all makes sense now.”

“Are you sure you’re not a meat inspector instead of a receptionist?”

Dexter pushed up his lower lip and narrowed his eyes. “Not anymore.”

“To think you are literally surrounded by hot guys every day and you’re still single.” Peter mused.

“I know.” Dexter let out a mock sigh. “Love is a cruel mistress.”

“I don’t think it’s love.” Peter teased. “You’re just too picky.”

“Hey, it’s not my problem everyone else is happy with the first partner that comes along. If I am to spend the rest of my life with someone, I want to make sure he is-”

Dexter was cut off by a man approaching the reception. He had never seen a man so attractive before. Well, actually he had. This person almost looked like a twin of Colton, who Dexter had a crush on in the past. He actually looked exactly like a twin of Colton, except somewhat… Nicer? More likeable? Dexter couldn’t really put it into words but something about this man checked all of his boxes.

“Hello.” The man smiled in a way that made Dexter forget everything for a second. “Is Colton here?”

“Yeah he is—” Dexter pointed behind the man.

He didn’t get to finish that sentence as Colton already appeared, hissing at the man. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“I was bored.”

“You-” Colton began but caught himself, realizing both Dexter and Peter were there. “This is my twin brother, John,” he told them. “Excuse us for a moment?” Colton turned around and gave a ‘two minutes’ sign to his client in the distance, before pushing John out the door.

Dumbfounded, Dexter and Peter watched them leave.

“I didn’t know he had a brother,” Peter said.

Dexter was still lost in thought. “Me neither…”

“How did you even get here?!” Colton had taken John to the side in front of the building.

John furrowed his brow. “I walked.”

Colton’s voice pitched up in disbelief. “But, how did you even know the way?”

“You walk here every day. I have the number of steps and turns memorized.”

Colton looked at John flatly. “You don’t even know how to flush a toilet, but you can find your way to a place you never went yourself?”

“I was hanging from your crotch our whole life.” John crossed his arms. “I don’t know what you do with your arms and hands all the time when you’re not-”

“Okay okay, whatever,” Colton cut him off. “Did you close the door behind you?”


Colton breathed a sigh of relief. “All right. I will bring you home now.”

“Can’t you just give me the key?”

“… Would you even know how to use a key?” Colton gestured. “You know, hands.”

“You use it on the door.” Colton looked away. “Or something.”

Colton was unimpressed. “Uh huh. That’s beside the point anyway. I will not give you my only key.” He put his hands on John’s shoulders. “I will now go back inside and tell my client that I have an emergency and that I will need to postpone our session. I will be back in a couple minutes. And you will stay right here until I am back, you got me?”

John hung his head. “Yeah.”

“Right. Here,” Colton intoned.


“All right.”

“Dexter, can you check with Mr. Chamberlain if he wants to reschedule?” Colton was passing the reception. “I have an emergency,” he clarified before being out of range for regular speaking volume.

As Dexter was browsing through the appointment calendar, John appeared at the reception.

“Hey.” He smiled at Dexter again. “I didn’t catch your name earlier.”

“I’m Dexter.”

“Nice to meet you.”

“Same.” Dexter mentally hit himself. His ability to think seemed to be at a new low in the presence of this guy.

Either not noticing or ignoring Dexter’s awkwardness, John kept smiling. “Want to have a drink some time later?”

“Sure, that sounds nice. After work?”

“When would that be?”

“At 6?”

“All right, I’ll be here.”

“Great, me too,” Dexter replied.

Before either could reply, Colton appeared again, with his client trailing behind him at a distance.

“I told you to stay where you were,” Colton scolded John through gritted teeth so his client wouldn’t hear, as he pushed John out the door.

With the two gone, Peter leaned over the counter and turned to Dexter. “Same?” he whispered with a mischievous grin.

“Shut up,” Peter whispered through a forced smile, before turning his attention to Colton’s client.

Colton closed the door behind him. The whole way he had been quiet and John figured he’d wait until they were back inside his apartment.

With the door closed, Colton spoke up. “So do you wanna do it now or later?”

John looked around confused. “…Do what?”

“Reattach to my crotch, because that’s where you belong.”

“I don’t want to reattach.” John furrowed his brows. “I like being human.”

Colton sat down on the couch. “And I like having a dick.”

“You still have me.”

“But—I mean—I don’t have a ‘dick’ dick.” John’s confused face told him he had to clarify. “You know, for sex and stuff.”

“I don’t see the problem?”

“What, should I just bring you along when I bang a dude?”

“Yeah,” John said as if it was the most normal thing.

Colton froze. “That… might actually work…” He mused. “A threesome, mmh.” He stood up, walking through the room. “All right, if you want to be a human so bad, we can try that. But if that does not work out, you will go back to my crotch.”

John frowned, but Colton was too lost in thought to wait for a confirmation from him.

“Okay,” Colton continued. “We need to put down some ground rules. First, you can’t tell anyone you’re my dick. You’re my brother.” He took a closer look at John. “My twin brother. Also, try not to talk to our parents or anyone who knows them.” He continued pacing the room, while counting on his fingers. “Second, you do not leave the house without me. Third, always be near the tablet in case I need to pee. I will call you on skype.” He froze. “Mmh, that’s it, I think. You got that?”


Colton seemed sceptical. “Can you repeat the rules?”

“We’re twins, not leaving the house without you, and always be near the tablet.”

“Perfect,” Colton said without any enthusiasm. “I will now get back to work, hope my client didn’t quit on me and maybe I can secure a date for today evening.”

“I have a date too,” John beamed.

“… No you don’t.”

“I do.”

“How did you get a date from here to the gym? That’s like 10 minutes.”

“I asked,” John replied pointedly. “Besides it wasn’t on the way.”

The gears in Colton’s head turned. “Wait, the date isn’t Dexter, is it?”

“It is. We meet at 6.”

“You’re a dick,” Colton said. “You can’t have a date. You can’t even leave the apartment without me, remember?”

“I thought you’d be there too.”

“No, why? That’s not how dates work! You can’t just bring your brother along to a date.”

John was visibly confused. “Didn’t you want to do that too?”

“I mean, that’s a different thing.” Colton gestured wildly. “It’s—Those are sex dates. Yours isn’t a sex date right? Dexter isn’t the guy for sex dates.”

“I guess not.”

“Well, I will tell Dexter that you can’t today. Or do you want to do it yourself?”

John got angry. “I don’t want to cancel the date!” Before Colton could interrupt, John continued. “I agreed to come to your dates. In turn I want to go on my own dates too. That’s just fair.”

Colton was dumbfounded. “Okay, fine. Go on your stupid date.” He turned to the door, one hand on the handle. “When is it?”

“At 6.”

“I’ll tell Dexter that you might be a couple minutes late, because of the keys and all.” He looked at John with tempered anger on his face. “Have fun.” With that he left John alone in the apartment.

“You need to take care of your posture. Arch your back,” Colton told his client as the latter was working out. He was standing behind the man, who had recently registered for a couple hours each week. He was not as fit as the regulars, precisely why he paid Colton to be his fitness coach, but he did have a nice butt.

In fact, the more Colton looked at it, the more he liked it. “Yes, arch your back a little bit more. Perfect.” He took mental note to take care not to train those plump globes away.

As Colton continued, he felt himself get hornier, but it wasn’t just ogling his client. Then he felt a hand on his dick. He looked down reflexively only to realize someone must be groping John at home. But that can’t be, unless-

Unless John was groping himself. Colton cursed mentally, but took care not to lose track of his client, for more than just safety reasons.

As they continued with their workout session, Colton felt himself get harder and harder. It became difficult to concentrate and—in fact—stand. He quickly excused himself under the pretense that his client should take a quick break.

He made his way to the restrooms as quickly as was possible without making a scene. With the door closed behind him, he rushed to the nearest stall and leaned against the wall, as he felt John’s hands roaming his own body and, consequently, Colton’s dick.

Not being able to influence the handjob in any way drove Colton nearly insane, although he would have been lying if he had said he didn’t enjoy it. After minutes, he felt the end approaching and he braced himself with one arm on the opposite wall as he gasped in rhythm with the remote orgasm.

After a couple seconds of catching his breath and regaining his senses, he fumbled for his phone and dialed home. As he was waiting for John to answer, he got out of the stall to check if anyone else was in the others. Luckily, the restrooms were empty.

“Hello?” came John’s voice.

“What the hell was that?” Colton hissed through the phone, careful to keep his voice down in case someone was just outside the restrooms.

“I, uh, jerked myself off,” John said, sounding almost proud. “That was awesome.”

“I am at work!” Colton paced in front of the sinks. “You can’t do that.” There was no reaction from John. “Okay, rule number four: Don’t masturbate unless I am there.” He thought for a moment and added. “And we are at home.”

“Okay.” There was a short break. “Also your keyboard is a mess.”

“I know,” Colton said absentmindedly.


Suddenly the penny dropped in Colton’s head. “Wait what?! How much did you… Cough up?”

“Only a little. About a mouthful? Maybe more.”

“How do you even know how to use a computer?”

“You masturbate in front your computer a lot,” John stated as a matter of fact.

Colton let out a deep sigh.

“Do you want me to clean it up?” John asked.

“No, don’t make it worse,” Colton replied. “I’ll take care of it.” He thought about trying to clean a keyboard with a mouthful of dried cum in every little corner. Maybe he should just buy a new keyboard altogether. “Just, don’t do anything until I am home.” He hang up without giving John a chance to reply.

“Wow, this tastes great!”

John had just taken the first sip of his drink. He didn’t know what to order, so he just ordered the same as his date.

“You never had a Mojito before?” Dexter asked.

“No.” John took another sip. “But I’m loving it!”

“What do you usually order at a bar?”

“Uhh…” John looked down at his drink, trying to remember what Colton usually ordered when trying to hook up with someone. “Cuba Libre?” he asked more than he answered.

“Are you sure?” Dexter joked.

“I keep forgetting the name.” John tried to smooth over his mistake.

“So…” Dexter swirled his straw. “What do you do?”

“Nothing at the moment. Just sitting at home all day.”

“Oh, what did you do before?”

John was not sure how much he should make up, but since he couldn’t remember Colton talk about his life with Dexter, he assumed it was safe to go with that, minus the work part of course. “I started studying biology, didn’t like it, dropped out.” John shrugged his shoulders and looked away. “Now I’m here.”

“And you’ve been living with Colton the whole time since?” Dexter asked.

John rubbed his neck. “Yeah.”

Seeing John become visibly uncomfortable, Dexter decided to drop the subject. He felt like the roles had reversed. John had asked him out but now it was up to Dexter to break the ice. “What’s your favourite animal?”

John looked up, somewhat confused but not unhappy about the change of topic. The shine returned to his eyes as he began musing about the question, eventually leading to a full-blown conversation and ultimately a great date for both Dexter and John.

It was moderately late when Dexter decided he would have to head home. Having to work the next day he couldn’t stay forever. They said their goodbyes, embraced each other for a moment and went their ways. Luckily the bar was right around the corner of the gym, so John found his way home.

Colton got up to let John in. After closing the door, he returned to his seat on the couch where he was watching TV.

“How was the date?” he asked without passion.

“Great. I had a lot of fun.”

“Good.” Colton kept staring at the TV. “At least one of us did.”

John sat down next to Colton, unsure whether he should feel guilty or angry.

“Did you eat something?” Colton kept going.

“Yeah, some tapas.”

“I felt that, y’know.” Colton’s voice sounded almost accusatory. “Guess now I know what sounding is like. Can’t say I’m a fan.” He turned to John at last, rotating his entire upper body. “What happens to the stuff you eat and drink anyway? If you cough up my cum, do you even have a stomach?”

“I don’t think so.” John moved one hand over his belly. “I think I digest it into cum, you know. I feel… Full.”

“Looks like I’m not the only one feeling blueballed then. But that’s not a big deal, right, because we have a date lined up where we can cum and cum and cum.” Colton’s face shifted to faked surprise. “Oh no we don’t, because my dick decided to detach from my crotch last night and fucking go on an adventure!”

“Would it hurt you to go without sex one day a year?”

“Well, I suppose not, but why should I? You’re my dick, I shouldn’t ask you for permission to fuck a dude.” Colton felt through his hair in astonishment. “In fact, you should want to bang more than I do. You’re the genitals. Not me!”

“Maybe they switched us up at birth.”

Colton decided to ignore John’s sarcastic remark. “So are you two going to meet again?”



“We don’t have a date yet.”

“Oh great.” Colton stood up. “That means I can go have a hot date over tomorrow.” He turned to John. “You are of course cordially invited to join me, if you have no other plans.”

John did not feel like answering.

“Well then, I’m off to bed.”

John got up to follow Colton. Near the door to the bedroom, Colton turned around. “Where do you think you’re going?”

John was confused. “To bed.”

“Oh no, you’re sleeping on the couch.”

“But I’ve always slept with you.”

“Yeah well,” Colton pointed out. “You’ve also always been attached to my crotch up until today. But, congratulations, you’re a human now.”

John looked over to the couch. It felt so empty. And cold.

“Good night,” Colton said before closing the bedroom door.

“So, how’s Valerie?” Dexter said between two mouthfuls.

Peter looked up from his food. “Still pregnant.”

“I understand. You have my sympathies.”

Peter laughed. “Shut up.”

“You know what they say about people who get kids,” Dexter kept teasing.

“That they become more handsome and gain lots of free time?”

Dexter narrowed his eyes in jest. “Yeah sure. That.”

“Anyway, enough about my grim future,” Peter declared. “How was your date?”

Dexter swallowed and looked down at his lunch. “It was good.”

“… Good? Sounds like you had a blast,” Peter mocked.

“It was great. John’s a great guy and he’s smart and funny and kind.”

“Wow, someone found their Mister Right.”

Dexter poked with his fork in his food. “Maybe…”


“I dunno,” Dexter continued. “He’s sometimes a bit odd. Nothing important, just, as if he makes up the smallest things. But he’s also very embarrassed about it.”

“You think he’s a liar?”

“… No.” Dexter thought for a moment. “No, I don’t think so.”


“I dunno,” Dexter continued. “He just hates talking about himself.” He looked up. “You know, I think he’s been living with his brother the whole time and doesn’t feel comfortable admitting that. Especially since he doesn’t work.”

“The two seem to have a bit of a strained relationship.”

“I mean, they’re brothers,” Dexter half-joked.

“Yeah, but I assume Colton wants John to live his own life, become his own person. I don’t imagine he wants to have his brother this close for his whole life.”

“Maybe,” Dexter mused. “Maybe, yeah.”

As Colton was making out with his date, he felt hands fumble at his zipper.

“Ah ah ah…” He stopped the guy under him. “Remember? Our pants stay on.”

His date looked up. “So, you just into kissing then?”

Colton went in to continue kissing the guy’s neck. “You can get a rimjob if you want.” He moved one of his hands over to John and started massaging the area between his shoulder blades.

John was not as much into the whole thing as Colton was. He tried his best to participate the same way he always did when he was attached to Colton’s crotch, but being a human was making it difficult. He had to actively engage, rather than just being rubbed and thrust.

When Colton mentioned the rimjob and rubbed John’s back, he knew what that meant. It was time for anal. Colton maneuvered his date into a position to allow John to access the man’s behind, while Colton continued making out in the front.

At first John instinctively thrust his chin against the hole, as he did when he was a dick, but he quickly learned to use his tongue instead. Judging by Colton’s moans, it seemed to be the correct way to go.

Colton continued rubbing John’s back, which really was just Colton rubbing his dick. John also felt the date’s hands on him occasionally, but he seemed too busy making out to do anything useful with them.

After a while, John felt the familiar sensation inside his body, an upwelling of warmth rising from his insides. His tongue movements became stronger and Colton’s breathing deepened. John enjoyed the moment until he felt something fill up his throat, he quickly broke off and grabbed the bin Colton had placed next to the bed. As his body kept pulsing with Colton’s pleasure, he emptied himself into the bin, looking like someone throwing up.

Colton’s date just finished his own orgasm and was looking over to John, visibly concerned. “Is he okay?”

“Oh, yeah, it’s nothing,” Colton replied.

“I’m totally fine,” John muttered with his head still in the bin. He had vomited out most of the cum, but a small bit was still dribbling out.

Seeing his date still being concerned about John, Colton tried to assure the man. “It’s nothing serious. Just a medical thing where too much spit ends up in his throat and he needs to spit it out periodically.” He laid down from the exhaustion. “It’s called ribosomic arrest.”

“Is that like cardiac arrest?” His date looked at Colton shocked.

“No no!” Colton hastily replied. “It’s nothing like that. It’s perfectly harmless. It just happens more easily when he’s excited.”

The man looked over to John again, who was now sitting on the ground, leaning against the bed, clearly spent.

“So…” The date looked down at Colton’s crotch. “Did you come?”

“How was it for you?” Colton asked without looking away from the TV. “First time being human.”

John was curled up on one end of the sofa in a blanket. With the orgasm having faded he felt cold. “It was okay.”


“I didn’t like it.” John frowned.

“What now?” Turned his head to John. “Was it okay, or did you not like it?”

John met Colton’s gaze for a couple seconds before replying. “I detached because I didn’t want any more of this bullshit. I don’t want to bounce from fling to fling. I wanted a relationship, not just sex.” He looked down. “But nothing is changing. It’s just more bothersome, being human and all.”

“Well, if you don’t like it, you can go back to my crotch.”


“But you agreed on it, remember?” Colton insisted.

“I never agreed to that.”

“We wanted to give this new arrangement a try,” Colton explained. “And you agreed to go back to being my dick if we didn’t like it.”

“See, that’s the point,” John raised his voice. “I never agreed to shit. You just said that and didn’t even bother to wait for a confirmation from me. You are so in your own head, you don’t care what I think, or what I want.”

“Well, why would I?” Colton gave John a stern look. “You are an appendage of mine. Supposed to be at least. Give me one reason why I should care.”

“Because I am no longer an appendage.”

“Really!” Colton faked surprise. “What the fuck would you even do without me? You don’t have a home, or a job, or any sort of papers to prove your existence. You don’t even have family!” Colton stood up. “Everything that defines who you are is me!”

John stared back in anger and defeat.

Colton shook his head. “You don’t even have a room to stomp off into and slam the door to end the conversation.” He reached for the remote and turned the TV off. “Good night.”

“Busy day, huh?” Peter entered the area behind the reception and went for the maintenance records.

Dexter looked up from the counter and eyed the gym. It was unusually empty today, but there were other things on his mind. “You know, I was thinking about what you said. With Colton and John.”


“Maybe I should get John out more. Especially the evenings, to give Colton some breathing room.” He turned to Peter. “Do you think that’s a good idea?”

“Mmh, sure,” Peter replied without looking up. “Colton does seem a bit stressed recently. Having some time to himself at home might help. What did you have in mind?”

“Maybe going to the cinema. The Seven Seas maybe.”

Seven Seas?” Peter grinned. “Is that your choice because of the lead actor what’s-his-name?”

“No, it’s not. Okay maybe a little,” Dexter had to admit. “But also because it seems like a good movie.” He shrugged.

“Well, sounds like a good idea to me. Go for it.” Peter closed the maintenance book and started to leave, before stopping again. “Oh, lunch later?”

“No sorry. I’m going to talk to John about the date.”

Peter was visibly confused. “And that takes half an hour?”

“Well, I have to walk there,” Dexter explained. “He doesn’t have a phone.”

“He doesn’t have a phone?” Peter echoed. “What year is it?”

“I know, right? I guess he doesn’t have the money.”

“Mmh, well, good luck then,” Peter said as he left.


“I have a date on Friday,” John said from the couch. He didn’t even wait for Colton to close the door behind him.

“With Dexter?”


Colton walked past John. “What are you going to do?”

“Going to the cinema.”

“Doesn’t that cost money?”

“… Yes.”

Colton returned to the couch and sat down. “Is Dexter going to pay?”

John looked at his feet. “No, I don’t think so.”

There was no reply from Colton.

“I thought,” John began. “You could lend me some money.”

Colton barely suppressed a laugh. “Lend? And how do you figure you’re going to repay me?”

“I don’t know,” John had to admit. “But I don’t want Dexter to cover for me again.”

“Instead you want me to cover for you?”

John did not know what to reply.

“You know what,” Colton broke the silence. “If we can secure a date today, I will give you some money for your date on Friday.”

“You don’t have one lined up?”

“No. Got no luck at the gym and on the internet today,” Colton explained. “Which means we’re going out.”

John quickly made his way back to the table. He tried to make himself as small as possible, holding his arms and the drink in his hand as close to his body as he could. Colton thought it was strange, his own dick feeling out of place in a gay bar, but then again everything about the recent developments was strange.

John sat down at the table with Colton and their potential date for the night. He already had several empty glasses in front of him, each one a different drink. John wanted to try them all out.

Colton gave him a quick glance that John interpreted as disapproval. He figured Colton didn’t want John to order so much, because he had to pay for it, but John knew Colton well enough. He wouldn’t try to look stingy in front of a date.

“I hope you know your limits,” The potential date smiled. “No fun screwing with a drunk guy.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Colton grinned. “He can’t get drunk.”

The date gave Colton an amused, yet confused look. “He can’t get drunk?” he said a bit louder than Colton did.

A bear of a man who was standing at the bar with his friends turned to the trio. “Who says he can’t get drunk?”

While John looked at Colton and the date expectantly at John, Colton’s eyes darted between the two and the bear.

Guided by the date’s gaze, the big guy turned to John. “You?”

“It’s a medical thing,” Colton rubbed his temples. “His body doesn’t absorb alc—”

“Did you hear that?” the bear shouted to his friends, before turning his attention back to John. “I challenge you to a drinking contest. Nobody has beaten me yet.”

Colton bit his lip, but John just gave him the Don’t worry, I got this nod. “Okay, I accept.”

“Loser pays for the drinks!” The bear’s voice boomed as he grabbed a chair and sat down at the table. The barkeeper looked at his friends to check if they have him under control and they nodded.

In the following hour, John and the bear were brought several rounds of alcoholic beverages. As time went on, a crowd gathered around the table to watch the spectacle. The sentences of the bear became more and more slurred, while John sat there as if he was the most sober he has ever been.

Colton looked over to their date. The guy’s eyes were glued to the spectacle. Colton sighed internally. Not only was this guy dumb as a brick, but also a bit of an ass. Let’s hope he performs well in bed. He got the looks at least.

While Colton was mentally undressing their date, John was clearly winning the challenge. The bear’s sentences became heavily slurred and his attention less focused.

Eventually, one of his friends admitted defeat and put a hand on the bear’s shoulder. “Come, let’s get you home.”

The bear swatted the hand away. “No, I’m still in the game.”

“Dude, you lost,” his friend insisted.

“No, I’m not losing,” the bear rambled. “I have never lost.” Then something seemingly lit up in his head. “He cheated! He doesn’t drink!”

“Leave him alone,” another one of his friends joined in. “You lost fair and square. We already paid for the drinks.”

“No!” the bear bolted up, dropping his chair behind him. “He’s a dirty cheater!”

John was startled by the bear’s aggressive body language, making him stand up as well. Colton also got up from his chair to intervene. “Hey, there’s no need to—”

Colton never finished his sentence as the bear punched John in the face, making Colton grab his crotch and double over.

Colton’s reaction confused the bear for a moment, which allowed his friends to grab his arms and forcefully escort him out of the bar, swearing all the way at their drunken friend.

Once both John and Colton had heaved themselves back onto their chairs, the barkeeper brought the two a pack of ice each. When handing the second one to Colton, he just waved him off and pointed at John. “Give it to him.”

While John was pressing both packs against his head, Colton felt the pain subside a little. He looked over to his dick, who was quickly developing a black eye.

After a couple of introspective seconds, Colton’s eyes wandered to check on his date only to find he was gone.

Colton dropped the pizza box and his wallet onto the kitchen table, opposite of John and sat down.

After a couple bites, Colton shoved the box into the middle. “Want a piece?”

John hesitated at first, but took a slice and looked back at Colton, who seemed to be lost in thought while eating.

Both men did not say anything for a while.

Eventually John broke the silence again. “So, I guess I should cancel the date with Dexter?”

Colton’s attention was brought back to the room. “Why?”

“We couldn’t get a date,” John explained. “And you said—”

“Here.” Colton reached for his wallet and pulled out a bill. “Take this,” he said without a hint of aggression or disappointment.

John almost dropped his pizza. He just stared at Colton as if he had just seen an alien.

Colton meanwhile did not return the look, though his voice remained neutral, almost warm. “Are you going to eat dinner afterwards?”

“That was the plan.”

“You don’t know how to eat with silverware, right?”

John looked down on his pizza slice in his hands. “No.”

“Well,” Colton got up and opened a drawer. “Let’s get you prepared for a real date.”
“So… how’s the filet?” Dexter watched John fumble with the fork and knife.

After the movie the two went to a nearby restaurant. Dexter was distracted most of the time by John’s black eye, which he told Dexter was from a bar fight, but didn’t want to go into details. Now however that they had their food, Dexter watched John struggle with the silverware in his hand to the point where he almost forgot to eat his own meal.

John looked up in surprise, clearly broken out of his concentration. “Oh, it’s good, I like it.”

Dexter watched John hold the fork like a four-year-old would. Did John usually eat only finger food at home? Colton didn’t seem like the kind of person to come from such a background.

“Do you go out to eat often?” Dexter wanted to know.

“Not, not really.” John tried cutting the meat. “I always eat at home.”

Before Dexter could continue, John started to fumble at his pockets, pulling out a buzzing phone.

“Sorry,” John apologized to Dexter before answering the call. “Yeah?… Okay.”

John hang up and turned to Dexter. “Excuse me, I just need to…” He pointed to the restrooms behind him.

Dexter nodded and watched John disappear.

What a weird guy. Dexter thought to himself.

“Well, I hope you had as much fun as me,” Dexter said as the two arrived at John’s front door.

“Oh, I did!” John beamed. “It was a great date. Any ideas for the next one?”

Dexter thought for a moment. “We could go to my place if you want. And watch a movie?”

“That sounds good to me.” John smiled. “When?”

“Mmh, I don’t know yet. One of our receptionists is sick, so I need to cover for her this week. I should know on Thursday. I’ll come over once I know.”

“Is it okay, if I come over?” John offered. “I’m just sitting at home all day anyway and I don’t want you to miss your break.”

“Sure, if you want. That would be helpful.”

“Well then.” John was unsure what to say or how to continue. “Talk to you later this week?”

“Yeah.” Dexter went in for a hug. “Have a good night.”

“You too.”

“Just a hug?” Colton turned around on the couch as John entered through the door. “Not even a kiss?”

John shrugged his shoulders. “He’s a cute guy. And we’re not in a rush.”

As John approached the couch, Colton turned off the TV.

“How was the movie?” Colton asked as John sat down.

“Interesting.” John thought for a moment. “It was so unlike any of the other movies you watch.”

Colton was confused. “Like what?”

“Like those on your computer.”

“Oh.” Colton scratched the back of his head. “Yeah.”

“It was so weird. There were no naked people and everyone acted normally.”

“The latter is debatable, but yes.” Colton decided to change topics. “How was dinner?”

“Good,” came John’s curt reply.

“You think he noticed?”

John looked to the side. “Definitely. He probably thinks I’m an idiot now.”

“Did you two decide to meet again?”


“Then he doesn’t think you’re an idiot.” Colton thought for a moment. “Or he thinks you’re an idiot but still worth it.”

“Wow, thanks.” There was a short pause, before John continued. “Is someone coming over?”

“Nope. I was hoping you two would do something today,” Colton explained. “Now I’m all pent up.”

“Well, any backup plans?”

“Guess it’ll be a good old jerk off today,” Colton said. “But you probably don’t fit my fleshlight anymore.”


There was a short silence as Colton put a hand on John’s chest and started massaging as he moved his face closer.

“I was always curious about sucking myself off. Guess this is the closest I’ll ever get,” Colton murmured. “Do I need to ask for permission from my own dick?”

“That would be preferable, yes.” John’s breath started to get heavy. “But it’s okay, go ahead.”

Colton leaned in for a kiss, exploring John’s lips and mouth, which to Colton felt like his own cockhead. His hands started roaming John’s upper body, snaking under his shirt.

John meanwhile reciprocated, but not in a directed manner like Colton. John did not feel any erogenous zones on his owner after all, he was simply holding onto Colton’s body with his hands as Colton began jerking them both off by massaging John’s body.

“Fuck.” Colton exhaled between breaths. “Your spit tastes like precum.”

Colton felt John’s breath deepen and quicken with his own. Being part of one orgasm they were in perfect sync. Eventually both men felt the pressure rising and making its way through Colton’s dick and John’s body.

Anticipating what would happen next, Colton pressed his lips against John’s. A second later hot cum shot out of John’s throat directly into Colton’s mouth and was quickly swallowed.

Colton disengaged from John, still breathing heavily, and collapsed on his end of the couch. “Drinking that pineapple juice all day was worth it after all.”

“Didn’t you say you hoped we’d do something today?”

“What can I say?” Colton looked at John. “I lied. Of course Dexter wouldn’t do anything on the second date. I’d be surprised if you do something on the third.” He sat there for a few more moments, before sitting up and putting a hand on John’s knee. “Come, let’s get showered and off to bed.”

Dexter was checking the schedule, when he heard someone behind him leafing through the maintenance records.

“Peter?” Dexter asked.

The answer came in the form of an affirmative “Mmh mmh.”

“Do you…” Dexter started, but wasn’t entirely sure how to word it. “Do you know any adult who doesn’t eat with silverware?”

The browsing noise stopped. “Why would someone not want to eat with silverware?”

“Because they may have never learned it?” Dexter shrugged. “At least not properly.”

Peter appeared next to him at the counter, clearly flummoxed. “I know there’s stories about children who don’t get taught how to use silverware, but…” He trailed off. “Why do you—Wait.” He lowered his voice. “Is this about John?”

Dexter couldn’t get himself to answer.

“John doesn’t know how to eat with silverware?” He whispered incredulously.

“He does.” Dexter shifted from one feet to the other. “He’s just not very good at it.”

Peter’s eyebrows shot up. “But… he’s a grown man!… And Colton…”

“I know…”


Dexter let out a sigh. “I don’t know. I probably shouldn’t have started this.”

“Man, their family situation must be—” Peter turned to someone coming in through the door. “Hello!”

Dexter turned around to see John approaching the counter, a wide smile on his face. “Hello.”

“Hey. Nice to see you,” Dexter replied.

“What happened to you?” Peter asked.

“Oh that.” John motioned around his black eye. “It’s nothing. Got into a fight.”

“Did you win?” Peter joked.

“Uh…” John looked to the side and let out a nervous laugh. “I guess not.”

“Well.” Peter’s eyes flitted from John to Dexter. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to do stuff.”

“So,” John began once Peter had disappeared in the distance. “Do you have a time yet?”

Dexter was looking down on the scheduling book. “Yeah, uhm, tomorrow will be a long day again, so if you want we can meet on Saturday.”

“Great! When on Saturday?”

“Let’s say 4 pm?”

“Sounds good.” John looked into the gym as if noticing something, before returning his attention to Dexter. “Any plans what we’ll do?”

“I mean, we could watch a movie.” Dexter shrugged. “Or we can just decide on something spontaneous.”

“I’d be fine with anything.” John smiled and looked to the side and back at Dexter. “So, Saturday at 4?”


“Okay, uh…” John turned his attention back to the gym, clearly distracted by something.

Dexter followed his gaze. “Is anything wrong?”

“Uhm, that guy over there.” John pointed towards someone training at one of the machines. “Does he have a personal trainer?”

“No, he just started, like, two days ago.”

John furrowed his brow. “His posture is wrong. He could injure itself.”

“I’m sure Colton will point it out if there’s a problem,” Dexter assured John. “Our trainers often go around and help when they have no appointments at the time.”

“Okay,” John brought out, still visibly concerned.

“Oh, see.” Dexter pointed into the gym. “There’s Colton already.”

The two watched Colton approach the man on the machine, stopping him and correcting his posture as he was talking.

Dexter turned to John. “Where did you learn that?”

“Oh, I uh…” John hesitated. “I picked up some tricks from Colton I guess.”

Dexter thought for a moment. “You ever considered becoming a personal trainer? You seem to know your stuff.”

John looked as if he was presented with new, baffling information. “I haven’t, no, but… Do you think I could do that?”

Dexter let out a warm laugh. “Why couldn’t you? You just need to visit a course and get a certificate.”

John still seemed unsure.

“There may be more to it,” Dexter continued. “Maybe you could ask Colton.”

John pondered for a moment before looking up. “I’ll think about it. So, Saturday at 4 pm?”

“Yes.” Dexter smiled back.

“Great, see you then.”


“What’re you doing?” Colton walked past John sitting at the computer.

“Uhm…” John was unsure how to reply.

Colton leaned in closer to read the words on the screen. “‘Personal training certification’? What are you looking for?”

“I thought about, maybe, doing a course for a personal fitness trainer certificate.”

Colton looked at John.

“To get a job, y’know,” John quickly added.

Colton straightened back up. “You can’t do that.”

“Why not?” John frowned.

Colton gesticulated with one hand. “…How do you expect this to work? You don’t have an ID. You can’t sign up for it.”

“Can’t I get one?”

“No. There’s no way. You don’t have any papers to your person. You don’t even have a birth certificate.” Colton crossed his arms. “As far as the state is concerned you don’t exist.”

John thought for a moment. “What if I used yours?”

“Uh, apart from the fact that I don’t have a spare, that’s pretty dangerous. What if someone finds out?” Colton moved over to the couch. “It’s already risky enough you’re dating Dexter. What are you gonna tell him once it’s getting serious?”

There was no answer from John.

Colton turned around. “You can’t keep the fact you’re a dick from him forever.”

There was a short silence, before Colton continued. “Do you now understand why this doesn’t really work? This whole ‘becoming your own person’ thing?”

“Are you just saying this to make me reattach?”

Colton let out a sigh. “No. It’s just this complicated. But yes, it would be better if you’d just reattach.”

“Dexter, I need to talk to you,” Colton said as he approached the reception.

Dexter readied himself. “Okay.”

Colton moved past the reception and looked at Dexter. “In private.”

Dexter followed Colton into a small side room they used as storage and closed the door behind him.

Without waiting further, Colton began. “Did you talk with my brother about getting a job?”

“Uh, yeah.” Dexter was confused. “John said he picked up some hints from you and I suggested he looked into getting a certificate and become a fitness trainer himself.”

“Yes, that’s uh, very good of you.” Colton was visibly trying to gather his thoughts. “But he can’t get a job. It’s complicated and I can’t get into details unfortunately, just, he’s literally unable to work, which is why he’s currently with me.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know this was a problem. I just thought that he—”

“Yes, I’m not blaming you. I’m just…” Dexter pinched his nose. “I don’t even know what I’m trying to say. Just try not to give him any sort of ideas like this.”

Dexter got suspicious. “Is it for health reasons?”

“No, not really.”

“But he seems capable otherwise. John’s smart and—”

“Dexter.” Colton looked at Dexter with folded arms. “I can’t go into details. It’d just make everyone’s life, his and mine, easier without all this.”

Dexter looked down, his mind trying to make sense of any of this. “Okay…”

“Thanks.” Colton walked past Dexter, patting him on the shoulder before leaving.

Well, that was ominous. Dexter thought to himself.

Dexter was lying on the couch, staring at the screen of his phone. He hesitated for several moments before tapping the call button and put the phone to his ear, waiting for the other person to respond.

“Hey mom,” he finally said. “Yeah, it’s me. Nah, I’m doing fine, don’t worry. Someone got sick at work so I had to cover for her, but things are pretty good otherwise.

“Mom, please, of course I do. I work at a gym remember.

“Yeah, I know, but you really don’t need to worry.

“Actually, yeah. In fact that’s why I’m calling you.

“No no, not yet. We’ve had like two dates so far.

“I mean, I like him, so let’s say hopefully?

“Yeah, well you see, the thing is… I don’t know how to put this, but… He seems to be a bit isolated? If that makes sense. Like, he doesn’t get out and his brother seems to keep him inside and it’s all weird. And I don’t know what I should do.

“Yeah right, sorry. Okay so, he’s acted a little bit weird from the start. Nothing big, he just felt a little bit uncomfortable around people, seemed to pause whenever I asked him a question about hobbies and that sort of stuff, y’know.

“On our last date we went to eat something and, I mean it sounds stupid to put it like that, but it really looked like he had problem eating with silverware. Like, you know how a small child would hold a fork? Basically like that. So I felt like, maybe I should get him out more.

“Yesterday we talked again shortly and apparently he knows a bit about fitness training from his brother. So I suggested he’d attend a course and get a certificate so he could get his own job. Get him to care for himself you know. He’s smart and doesn’t appear to not be able to care for himself. It just feels to me like he never had the ability to, as if he was being actively kept away from it all.

“So yesterday his brother approached me at work and he told me not to ‘put ideas in his head’ and I was like really weirded out. He said it’s too complicated to get into and all that stuff, but honestly it sounds to me like his brother is controlling him, you know? Maybe he has some guardian complex? Is that a thing?”

Dexter sighed. “Bottom line is, I don’t know what the right course of action is here. I really don’t want to meddle and honestly I feel like crap even thinking his brother might be abusive, but what else am I supposed to think here? Part of me tells me to stay out of it. After all I literally don’t know anything about their lives. But the other part says that there’s nothing wrong with him, that he is perfectly capable to caring for himself if given the chance.”

There was a short silence.


“I mean, it’s been two dates, so who knows, but… I’mma be honest with you. I know it sounds kitschy, but he’s kind and smart and handsome and just all the positive things you can think of a guy. And I really mean it. I’ve never met a guy like him. He’s just perfect, so if it was up to me, probably yeah.

“Mmh, my ‘heart’ tells me to try to get him to step out of his brother’s shadow, but this isn’t about me, is it? It should be about him.

“Huh, yeah, you’re right.

“To think I’d ever hear you telling me to talk to someone else instead.” Dexter let out a short laugh.

“I’m kidding! I’m kidding!

“But yeah, you’re right. This is something I should talk to him about, not with someone else.

“I guess this is the answer I needed. Thanks, mom.

“Yeah, of course.


“All right. And hug dad from me!


“Dinner’s ready,” Dexter called over to the couch as he was filling their plates.

John had asked him about helping in the kitchen, but Dexter wasn’t entirely sure how much help John would be, so he declined. There’d be time to figure that out at a later date.

He watched John approach the kitchen island as he put down the plates and took a seat. “I hope you like pasta.”

John sat down opposite of Dexter and investigated his plate. “I’ve never had it.” He looked up and smiled. “But it smells delicious.”

“You never had pasta?”

“Uh, I mean, uhm.” John felt caught. “Not often. We, uh, usually eat other things.”

“Oh, like what?” Dexter tried to sound casual.

John thought back to the time Colton offered him a piece of pizza. “Mmh, pizza?”

Dexter decided to ignore the fact that John phrased his answer like a question again and decided to drop the subject. He didn’t want to make John uncomfortable.

After John took his first bite, Dexter looked at John. “So, what’s the verdict?”

“It’s great. I love it!” He replied.


“Do you enjoy cooking?”

Dexter couldn’t help but laugh. “Not really. I’m actually kinda lazy when it comes to cooking. Pasta is about the only thing I can do well, because it’s so easy to make.”

“Do you think you could show me some time?”

“I guess.” Dexter thought for a moment. “Does Colton not cook at home?”

“He does, but—” John trailed off.

“You’re not that close huh?”

John laid down his hand holding the fork on the table. “I’m not sure.”

There was a short silence, before Dexter continued. “Please stop me when I am asking things that make you uncomfortable or aren’t my business, but why do you stay at home so much? You seem like someone who wants to go out and see the world, but something is stopping you.”

John thought for a moment. “It’s complicated.”

“Is that what your brother says?”

John’s eyes shot up. “He tells me so, yes.”

“And do you think so too?”

There was no answer from John.

“I’m not sure, but” Dexter continued. “I wonder if you wouldn’t be better off moving out, you know. You’re clearly smart enough to make it by yourself.”

John looked down at his plate, the gears in his head turning.

“I’m sorry, I really don’t mean to drive a wedge between you two,” Dexter clarified. “But from what I hear, which isn’t much, granted, it sounds like the current situation may not be the best for you.”

“It’s not just about me, but also about Colton.”

“Of course. Family is family,” Dexter conceded. “But if your brother doesn’t want you to grow as your own person, well…”

“I can’t leave Colton though. I think he’s more dependent on me then I am on him. That’s why I haven’t left yet.”

Dexter’s eyebrows shot up. This seemed to go deeper than he thought. Maybe it was an emotionally abusive relationship after all. Nevertheless, he decided to drop it, for now at least. “I apologize.”

“No, I appreciate it, I really do,” John clarified. “It’s not like some of those thoughts hadn’t crossed my mind earlier, but…”

He looked up and forced a smile. “…It’s complicated.”

While they continued to eat, they changed topics to other, more casual themes.

After they were done eating, John and Dexter moved back to the couch to watch a movie. While watching, they started to embrace each other, enjoying the comfort of each other’s closeness.

“So, we keeping it to cuddling level today?” Dexter purred with a smirk.

John was caught by surprise. “Do you want to do more?”

Dexter shrugged and smiled. “If you do.”

John wasn’t sure what to propose. All he knew was Colton’s sex dates. “If you want, I can, uh, give you a rimjob.”

Dexter froze in confusion. “Okay, cuddling it is for now.” Nevertheless he drew John closer.

“Good news,” Colton said from the couch, his attention focused on his phone. “Secured us a date. For later today.”

Colton had been busy all sunday trying to find a date. There was actually little shortage of guys wanting to get into a threesome with twins, but the additional conditions with the pants turned many of them off.

“Later today?” John asked over the movie he was watching.

“He’s here in three hours.”

John pulled up his legs and wrapped his arms around them. “Can we move it to another day? I’m not feeling it today.”

Colton looked up from his phone. “You’ve not been ‘feeling it’ for three days now.”

John looked down, not sure what to reply.

“I’m really fucking pent up,” Colton continued. “I’ve been very patient with you, but if you two can’t get it on, I need to find some release another way.”

“So it doesn’t matter what I want?” John asked.

“It does. Which is why I haven’t had a date for half a week.” Colton looked serious. “But you are still my dick.”

John drew his legs closer and lowered his head. “I never asked to be a dick.”

“And I never asked you to be my dick,” Colton countered.

John looked over to Colton, but he had already returned his attention to his phone.

“Three hours,” he reminded John.

“Hey there, come in!” Dexter invited John to his apartment.

After the last date, they decided to meet again the following week. John had suggested meeting at Dexter’s place again, to avoid potentially having to pay for outside food or entertainment, which he still had to borrow from Colton.

As John stepped forward he produced a small box of chocolates and presented it to Dexter. “I hope you like chocolates.”

“Who doesn’t?” Dexter took the box. “Thanks a lot.”

“So, do you want to watch a movie again?”

Dexter put the box on the kitchen counter and returned to the sofa area. “At this rate we might run out of movies to watch.” He laughed. “What about playing something?”

“Oh, that sounds interesting.”

Dexter invited John to sit while fetching the controllers. “Any preferences?”

“I haven’t really played much.” John had learned to not speak in absolutes anymore.

“Oh, what have you played?” Dexter sat down and started to browse his digital game collection.

John tried to think of the games Colton used to play when he was younger. “Uh, Uno?”

“Oh, I meant more like video games.”


“Something easy then,” Dexter mused as he browsed his digital game collection. “How about HeartRacer?”


Dexter confirmed and handed John a controller. “It’s a rhythmic racing game. Basically, all you need to do is steer and hit this button in rhythm with the beat.”

“How do I steer?”

“You just tilt the controller, like this.” Dexter moved his own controller like it was a steering wheel.

John looked Dexter in the eyes. “Okay.”

“You never played a video game before?”

John figured it wouldn’t be too weird to admit he never played one. Colton didn’t either. “No.”

“All right, I’m giving myself a handicap then.”

“What’s that?”

“Just means I need to be more precise in hitting the beat,” Dexter explained. “Basically makes it harder for me to accelerate.” Dexter looked at John. “All right, are you ready?”


Dexter hit start and the game began. John had some issues finding the rhythm at the beginning, but got better very quickly at hitting the beat. Dexter had beat him to the finish line, but more narrowly than he had anticipated.

The second game played similarly, but John was much more consistent in matching the beat. He had almost won, if it weren’t for accidentally hitting an obstacle near the finish line.

“Wow, that was close,” Dexter exclaimed.

John smiled at Dexter. “You think so?”

“You almost won.” Dexter pointed at the screen. “Had you not hit those thrombocytes, you would have made it.”

“Mmh, maybe.”

“Are you having fun?”

“Yes,” John replied. “And I’m slowly getting used to the controls.”

They played another one and this time the distance between both was very close, thanks to Dexter’s handicap. John was right behind Dexter most of the second half but slowly started to overtake him near the end, speeding through the finish line first.

“You won!” Dexter cheered.

“Only because of your handicap.”

“That’s not true. You kept your cool when we were head to head and you played perfectly when it mattered the most. That’s pretty good.”

John looked at the screen, taking in Dexter’s words, before looking at Dexter again and smiling. “Wanna play another one?”

For a moment Dexter was trapped in John’s eyes. “Do we want to play video games all evening?”

“What else did you have in mind?” John said without taking his eyes from Dexter.

Dexter put his controller away. “I don’t know, but how about this?” He put one hand on John’s thigh and moved closer, slow enough to give John reaction time if he wasn’t ready.

John was a bit surprised, but not negatively. He had no intention to rush things, but being part of Colton, he felt his libido like a distant pressure. That, plus his attraction to Dexter made John give in and the two embraced each other.

As the two were kissing, John felt Colton get erect and pleasure pulse through his body. At the same time Dexter tasted John’s increasingly salty spit. He should have been confused, but he didn’t care a lot in the moment. John was not the best kisser. However, the taste made Dexter horny for some reason.

The two continued for a couple more minutes, before John suddenly moved back. “I’m sorry!”

“What’s wrong? Did I—”

“Nothing. It’s nothing you did.” John swallowed. “I just need to go to the toilet.”

John got up and made his way to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

Dexter sat there, dumbfounded, wondering if he was too pushy. After a minute or so he heard the sound of John spitting out several times followed by a flush of the toilet.

Thinking John threw up, Dexter jumped to his feet and went to the bathroom door. “Is everything all right?!”

“Yeah!” John replied over a running faucet.

“Do you need something?!”

“No, I’m fine!”

Dexter went back to the couch and waited for John to return. After some moments, John opened the door and made his way to the couch. To Dexter’s surprise John didn’t look sick or pale. In fact, John’s face looked flushed.

“Was it anything I did?”

“No no, everything is fine,” John tried to explain.

“What was that?”

John recalled Colton’s words from an earlier date. “It’s a medical thing, totally harmless. My body produces too much spit and when I get excited, it comes out all at once.” He smiled at Dexter. “It’s called ribosomic arrest.”

Dexter thought for a second and smirked. “So, I got you excited at least?”

John blushed. “Yeah.”

“We need to talk.” Colton positioned himself in front of the TV.

Several days had passed without another date for either John or Colton. It was friday evening and John was passing the time watching TV as usual, until Colton stepped in the way that is.

“Uh, okay.” John grabbed the remote and turned off the TV. “What is it?”

Colton sat down on the couch. “This isn’t working out. You need to reattach.”

John frowned. “Why?”

Colton gestured with his hands, trying to gather his words. “Everything has become complicated, my sex life has plummeted, you’re actually costing money.”

“I offered to get a job.”

“You can’t.”

“Why not?”

“We went over this,” Colton explained. “I can’t explain to anyone that you exist. What do you think happens if the police or whoever asks my parents?”

“Our parents.”

Colton rolled his eyes. “They don’t even know you exist.”

John furrowed his brow in anger. “Well, what will happen?”

Colton looked at John. “I actually don’t know. Maybe they’ll put us into a psych ward. Or they’ll run tests on us. Dicks detaching from their owners is not a thing that happens.”

“Are you just saying that to scare me?”

“No. I really don’t know what’ll happen and I’d rather not find out.”

“I’m not going to throw my life away.”

“But you’re willing to throw my life away?”

John raised his voice. “I’m not throwing your life away! You can still do what you want. What’s the big deal?”

“What’s the big deal?!” Colton echoed John. “What am I supposed to do without my dick? I can’t do anything!”

“It’s not my fault you’re basing your whole identity around me.”

“Really? What’s your identity?! When are you gonna tell Dexter that you’re a dick?”

John looked to the side. “I don’t know.”

“You can’t live a normal life, even if you told people. You will always be a freak. We will be freaks!”

John stood up and walked into the room, running his hand through his hair. “That’s still better than going back between your legs.”

Colton got up as well. “What’s the issue with that? You get to have all the pleasure in the world and not worry about work. It’s the perfect life.”

John turned around. “If it’s so perfect, why don’t you become my dick then?”

Colton ignored John’s question. “Look, I was very patient with you and gave you a chance to try out this arrangement.”

“Bullshit! You tried stopping me at every corner. I had to wrangle all the things from you!”

“Really?! Who taught you how to use a fucking fork? Who kept giving you money for those dates?!”

“You act like a decent human being once and expect me to give up everything?” John shouted back.

“Like a decent human being?” Colton mocked. “How do you even judge that? How many people do you know?!”

“Enough apparently!”

“Why are we even talking about this?! This is absurd. I shouldn’t have to ask you nicely to get back in my crotch!”

John threw his arms up to the side. “Why?!”

“Because you. Are. A dick!”

John froze, looking down at Colton despite both being the same height. “No, I’m a penis. You are a dick.” He turned around and stormed out of the flat.

Colton followed him up to the door where he watched John stomping down the hall to the staircase. “Fine, leave! See where that fucking gets you! You’ll come back crawling to my crotch eventually.”

Once John had disappeared down the stairs, Colton noticed the old lady from the apartment diagonally opposite of his peeking through her apartment door.

Thinking her confused face relates to the fight, he tried to clarify. “It’s fine, we’re brothers.” The lady recoiled in shock, making Colton realize she was confused specifically about the crotch part.

He knew he couldn’t salvage this. “Ah, fuck!” He slammed the door.

Dexter was browsing on his phone when he heard the doorbell ring. It was too late for the postman, so it must have been one of his neighbors.

He got up from the couch and opened the door. On the other side was John, his face distorted into a grimace.

“Is everything all right?!” Dexter asked and stepped to the side to let John in. “What happened?”

“We had a fight,” John brought out through the lump in his throat.

“You and Colton?”

John could only nod.

Dexter shepherded John to the couch. “Did he throw you out?”

“No, I left.” He looked up at Dexter. “I didn’t know where else to go.”

Dexter sat down. “It’s fine. Do you want to stay for the night?”

“Is that okay with you? I don’t want to be a burden.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Really, it’s fine.” Dexter looked into John’s eyes. “Wanna talk about it?”

John glanced down at his feet. “I’d like to but…”

“It’s complicated?”


“That’s okay.” Dexter rubbed John’s back, which made him perk up a little. “You don’t have to talk about it. But if you change your mind, I’m here to listen.”

There was no reply from John.

Dexter looked to his kitchen and back to John. “Would you like tea?”

“Is there anything I can help you with?” John jumped up from the couch.

The two had talked the last couple hours about effectively everything, except of course John’s family life. He still didn’t feel comfortable sharing the truth with Dexter and Dexter respected John’s feeling too much to probe.

Now it was time to go to bed and Dexter was carrying the bedclothes for John.

“Don’t worry, I got it.” He dropped the clothes on the couch. “Two pillows and a blanket. You think that’s enough?”

John smiled at Dexter. “That’s perfect.”

Dexter looked down at the couch. “Perfect is something else, but—”

He was interrupted by his doorbell ringing again. The two exchanged confused looks, before Dexter made his way to the door.


“Hey, sorry Dex.” Colton slurred his words, clearly drunk. “Is my brother here?”


Dexter was cut off when John approached the door.

“Hey, hey man I’m sorry.” Colton tried to step forward, but was stopped by Dexter. “Huh, whu?”

Dexter looked back at John, who gave him a short nod.

After Dexter moved out of the way, Colton staggered into the room.

John had to steady his ‘twin’. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m sorry, man,” Colton began. “I thought about everything after our little disi- disagri- spat and I realized something.”

John was guiding Colton to the couch and sat down, followed by Dexter. “And what’s that?”

“You are amazing.” Colton put one of his hands on John, but John gently placed his hand elsewhere. “You’re like the brother I never had.”

“Colton how drunk are you?” John asked.

“A fucking lot, okay,” Colton slurred. “I went straight to the bar and asked the barkeeper to gimme everything he got! And now I’m here.”

John looked over to Dexter, who seemed just as lost as he was.

Colton shifted to a more serious tone. “Did you mean it?”

“Mean what?”

“When you said.” Colton waved his hand in a swirl. “We could switch? Is it possible?”

“I’m fairly sure it is, yes.”

“How?” Colton narrowed his eyes. “You never did it, did you?”

“I just know it’s possible, can’t explain it.”

“Mmh. Let’s do it.”


“I don’t give a shit about any of this. Fuck work. Fuck bills. Fuck everything. Sex was the only thing I ever wanted. But you, you want all that romantic shit, want to live a life. Pah! If we switch, everyone wins.”

“You’re out of your mind.”

“No.” Colton’s voice started to tremble. “I finally know what I want. And you deserve this, man. You’re a much better person than I am.” Tears began running down his cheeks. “Than I’ll ever be. I see it now, and I’m sorry.” He leaned his head against John’s shoulder and closed his eyes.

John froze for a few moments, before slowly wiggling out from under Colton and carefully laid him down on the couch. After mere seconds, Colton was asleep.

Dexter exchanged looks with John. “What was that all about?!” He whispered.

John took a deep breath.

“You’re his what?!” Dexter couldn’t believe it.

He and John were sitting on Dexter’s bed. With Colton having crashed on the couch, there was no other choice but for John to share the bed with Dexter for the night.

“Yeah.” John squirmed. He saw Dexter’s incredulous face. “You don’t believe me?”

“I mean…”

John stood up and undid his zipper, opening his pants enough to slide them down and reveal his bare crotch.

Dexter’s eyes were like saucers. “But… How?!”

“I detached a couple weeks ago.” John put on his pants and sat down. “I’m still his dick, but I can walk and talk and all that.”

“You’re still his dick? How does that work?”

“He still pees and ejaculates through me.”

“He—And you—” Dexter began to realize all the weird mannerisms about John were easily explainable if he was a body part of Colton turned human. “Holy fuck.”

John looked down at the ground, nervous about Dexter’s reaction.

“Wait so—” Dexter continued. “You throwing up last time was you cumming?”

“Colton cumming, yes.”

“Wait, wow.” Dexter had to process what he had just heard for a few seconds before turning towards John and smirking. “And I was afraid I had really bad breath.”

John couldn’t stifle a laugh.

“Well, this is all very absurd. I’m sure the full realization of it will hit me during the night.” He put a hand on John’s leg. “Let’s get ready for bed.”

John carefully entered Dexter’s living room. Colton was already sitting on the couch, fully awake.

“Good morning,” John said.


John moved over and sat down next to Colton. “How do you feel?”

“A bit hungover,” Colton replied. “But not as much as I should be, considering all the stuff I’ve downed.”

“You remember what you said yesterday?”

“Of course.” Colton put a hand on his face. “God, I’m such a crybaby when I’m drunk.”

There was a short silence.

Colton turned to John. “I still mean it you know.”


“As I said, I mean it. Everything I said.” Colton thought for a second. “Minus the crying part. Let’s forget that.”

“But… Didn’t you say I don’t exist? How am I—”

“You’ll become me,” Colton interrupted him. “You know enough about my life to fake it, don’t worry. Let Dexter teach you all the stuff you don’t know. Oh, you may want to take some refresher courses for personal training and first aid. Don’t worry though, they’re paid for by the employer.”

“I don’t know…”

“Well, it’s that, or you go back to my crotch.”

“Mmh.” John thought for a moment. “And you’re really sure about this?”


“All right, when do you want to do it?”

“All right, are you ready?” John asked Colton, but the latter was already fumbling at his pants.

“Don’t you want to sleep on it first?” Dexter asked.

“Already did.” Colton pulled down his pants to reveal his empty crotch.

Dexter was about to leave to give John and Colton some privacy, when Colton pulled over his shirt and called after Dexter. “Hey Dex, would you like making out while I change?”

“Uhm…” Dexter wasn’t sure what to reply.

“Come on, I’m not dumb,” Colton insisted. “I know you always had a crush on me. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.”

Dexter couldn’t help but blush. John looked at him with a warm smile and nodded, letting Dexter know it would be okay.

“All right, if John doesn’t mind, I guess I’m game,” Dexter said as he crawled onto the bed.

By now both John and Colton had removed their clothes and Colton was standing on the bed on all fours.

“Okay, last warning,” John said. “Ready?”

“Yeah, let’s do it,” Colton confirmed.

John thrust his hips forward, causing his crotch to connect with Colton’s ass. A surge of electric pleasure jolted through their bodies and both men felt their internal anatomy quickly reforming to accommodate the role switch.

After Colton had recovered from the feeling, he winked at Dexter. “Come here.”

Dexter moved closer and after a second of hesitation began kissing Colton, eliciting a moan from John.

“Fuck this feels good,” John panted as he felt Dexter effectively blowing him.

After a while Dexter felt Colton become smaller and he opened his eyes to find Colton’s legs having formed into melon-sized ballsacks. The rest of Colton’s body was already shaft-like with veins running under his skin and pumping blood into him. His head was still largely human, but tilted slightly upwards and around his neck was a piece of loose skin.

As Colton shrank, Dexter saw his body become more and more cock-like. His head developed a mushroom shape and the arms disappeared completely. Colton’s head was now small enough to take into his mouth, but Dexter instead licked the shaft around the area that used to be his neck, causing both John and Colton to moan.

Eventually Colton’s moans disappeared as his facial features were reduced to a piss slit. Dexter could tell the transformation was almost complete and he took what used to be Colton’s body in one hand while he jerked himself off with the other.

As the process reached its end, John couldn’t keep it in anymore and steadied himself on Dexter’s shoulder. He bucked his hips as he came and shot his load onto the bed, for the first time in his life from his own dick.

John was panting heavily as he sat down. Dexter positioned himself beside him and put his arms around his shoulders.

Dexter nodded to John’s softening dick. “So is he…”

“He’s still in there… I can feel him.”

“Can you read his mind?”

“No,” John clarified. “But he’s happy.”

Dexter put his head against John’s.

“So,” Dexter began. “Want to take a shower, Colton?”

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