The priapus club

by Max Mann

 That secret shrine to the god of dicks isn’t just there for decoration.

Added: May 2002 3,169 words 20,996 views 4.6 stars (8 votes)


My lover told me the rumor about the old building we bought. Martin said, “I heard it was the first gay sex club in the city, maybe in the country.”

“And just who did you hear this from?” I asked as I snuggled up to him on our couch.

“Albert. You know what a history buff he is.”

“Yes, especially with his partners.” Martin laughed, knowing Albert's legendary grandaddy fetish. His latest lover could've fought in WWI.

“But he also told me something e lse.”


“He said there's supposed to be a hidden room that was—get this—a shrine to the god Priapus. He said there's supposed to be statues and paintings devoted to him, and even an altar and some kind of throne. But it was walled up during Prohibition, and it hasn't been used since.” The building had been used for a variety of businesses after that, but Martin and I were determined to turn it into the classiest gay bar in the city…make that the U.S.

The building still had plenty of charm under its thick coats of paint, varnish, and dust. The moment we entered, we both knew this was the right choice. Lots of work to be done, but we hired an expert crew to help us, manned by our best friend Jim and his all-gay staff. The first floor was halfway finished, and now we were starting work on the basement.

We'd only been working for two hours that day when one of the crew, a boyishly cute blond named Brendan, said, “Hey, guys, come here. I think there's something behind this wall.” I don't think he knew the story, but he, and everyone else, soon would. We went over, and he began tapping heavily on the concrete. He kept tapping, until we heard a hollow sound, as if he was banging a drum.

Martin and I exchanged surpised looks, and Jim asked, “What could be behind there?”

Martin said, “Well, a friend of mine said he heard this place had a room sealed up right after Prohibition…”

Vince, a muscular Italian and Jim's lover, said, “Hey, maybe this is Al Capone's real vault.”

Jim said, “Earth to Vince. Capone never lived here.”

“Okay, maybe not Capone, but it could be some gangster's hideout. Maybe there's some skeletons of guys he offed back there.”

For a moment, the thought of bodies behind that wall made me shiver, but I wondered if Albert could be right about a shrine behind this wall. “Whaddya say, Martin, do you wanna see what's behind door number three?”

Martin smiled slyly and said, “Sure, Trey, what the hey.” Out of anyone else's lips, this would sound foolish, but Martin made it sound like Shakespeare. “I doubt there'll be anything illegal we find back there. Let's get to work, guys.”

Soon we were all pounding away at the thick blocks, chips of concrete flying everywhere. It took over an hour, but soon the wall was down and standing there before us was a wooden door that stayed remarkably intact. No damage from termites, water, or our hammers.

Martin said, “There it is, gentlemen, door number three. Who'll have the honors of opening it?”

Brendan said, “What about a key?”

“I hadn't thought of that. Only one way to find out.” Martin walked to the door and turned the dulled brass knob. The door opened slightly, and dust escaped.

Jim took a flashlight from his utility belt and swung it around the room quickly. He found a wall light and flicked it. Light filled the area and we found another door to an adjoining room. But what was in this one shocked us all.

Hanging on all the walls were pictures—daguerreotypes—of men taken during the mid to late 19th century. The men were of all ages, starting from their late teens to elderly gentlemen, dressed in a variety of outfits from cowboy gear to business suits. At least, most of them were, and that was usually from the waist up. All were naked from the waist down, and all of them were smiling for a reason.

Each of them sported an outrageously massive cock between their legs! Some were limp and reached to their knees and even farther; some men had cocks stretching down to their ankles. Many were erect, and all who were had monstrous hardons that extended over their heads or curved over their shoulder—those were posed to the side to show how much farther their dicks reached. And they were all incredibly thick, at least as big around as my upper arm.

We stood open-mouthed, then the sixth member of our group, a normally quiet teen named Ian, said, “Fuckin' A!” I noticed some brass plaques attached to each picture. I went up to one and read from it:

“Stephen Carson. Occupation: banker. 35 years old. Date of initiation: August 29th, 1882. Original length and width: 7 1/4” by 4 7/8”. New length and width: 42 1/8” by 15 3/4”.” I heard a huge gasp from more than one of them behind me. I read the one to its left. “John James Carroll. Occupation: blacksmith. 23 years old. Date of initiation: December 12th, 1871. Original length and width: 6 3/8” by 5 1/4”. New length and width: 53 3/4” by 18 1/4”.”

Ian repeated, “Fuckin A!”

Martin joined me in reading off names and measurements. The oldest initiation we'd found was from 1849, the newest 1922. The men included doctors, politicians, ranch hands, teachers…even a couple of clergymen. Of the original penises, the measurements ranged from 4 5/8” to 9 1/4; the after lengths went from 37 1/4” to an astounding 68 1/2”! That lucky man, a carpenter named Walter Smith, was in a shot laying on his back while another big dicked stud stood in front of his towering cock to show that Wallace's cock was taller than that man.

“That can't be right,” Vince said. “All these guys have dicks longer than a yard? Those pictures can't be real, no one has dicks that big!”

I said, “I'm taking a good look at them, and I can't see any alteration or additions. These look for real.” I turned around to see their stunned expressions…and a few growing bulges in their crotches. Which made me realize I too was in need of adjusting my trapped hardon.

Jim asked, “Then what happened to these guys? Maybe some weird disease hit them like elephantiasis.”

Martin said, “It could be a form of that, but then why do they have a date of initiation?” I didn't know if he was trying to bring up the idea of that Priapus club he'd mentioned to me.

I said, “Maybe we'll find the answers behind door number two.” I went to the other door and turned the knob. It too opened easily. “Guess they didn't need to lock it once they walled it up.”

Jim went in with his flashlight and searched for another light. This time we had no luck, so we sent Brendan and Ian for some candles as Jim scanned the room. This one appeared larger than the first, and we noticed what looked to be an altar and a large wooden chair sitting between two statues of men with giant erections. Priapus, no doubt.

The boys came back in a few minutes with a dozen candles from a nearby Wal-Mart. We lit them and walked into the room, getting a better view as we entered. It definitely seemed like a place of worship; the ceiling featured a version of the Sistine Chapel's famous painting of the Creation of Man, except God was touching Adam's gigantic hardon.

Vince had wandered around the altar when he said, “Hey, I found a book here.” He read the faint gold printing. “The Holy Book of the God Priapus. Who the fuck is that?”

He handed the book to Martin, who opened it and began reading one of the passages explaining the mythology of the male god of fertility. He turned a few pages and said, “The initiation ceremony, or what we call baptism…looks like this was a religion of some kind…that can't be r ight.”


“It says here that those who are baptized into this religion and pledge themselves to Priapus shall receive the gift of hypermasculinity from him. Do you suppose that those bizarrely endowed men are the result of this baptism?”

“What else can explain it?” Jim said. “No one is born with a dick that big, and those plaques said they were initiated. Something must've happened to those guys during their initiation to cause that. Does it say anything more, like if there's some kind of voodoo?”

“I doubt voodoo has anything to do with it…I don't see anything here. All I'm reading is what goes on during the baptism… no holy water or anything like that.”

Brendan said, “What would happen if we tried this on us?”

Ian said, “Dude, are you nuts? What if we call up the devil or something?”

“Man, what if it works? Imagine what having a dick that big would be like! Does it say if you could die during the baptism?”

Martin read through everything, then said, “No, but who knows. Maybe someone had a heart attack during the ceremony, but it doesn't say so here.”

Brendan said, “So let's try it. And I wanna go first.”

Ian said, “Baby, I don't know if I want you to be as big as those guys. How can they suck or fuck with those monsters? Besides, it might not even work.”

“So what if it doesn't? At least I'll have tried. What do I need to do?”

I couldn't believe how quickly we had been swept up into the possibility of joining some obscure religion based on the pictures of those men. But I was as curious as everyone to see if this was for real.

Martin began to read the rules. First, Brendan had to take off all his clothes, so as not to rip anything once growth began. He eagerly shucked off everything, showing off a thin, wiry body with a sparse coating of blond hair on his chest and legs. His dick was semihard from all the excitement, with a little bit of precum oozing from his slit. About seven inches hard, I estimated.

Martin then told Brendan to sit in the chair between the two statues. You could almost see his heart beating as we looked at him sitting there with a big smile on his face. Martin then told him to grasp the stone penises on each side. As he did, we saw an electric current suddenly jump from the dicks to his hands. Brendan pulled his hands back, and Martin said, “Oops, I should've warned you about that.”

Ian asked, “Are you hurt?”

Brendan said, “No, it felt like static electricity. Just didn't expect that.” He placed his hands back on the penises, not letting go this time after the shock. Martin said, “Okay, now there's some questions I have to ask. Do you believe in the god Priapus and all his power and masculinity?”

“I guess I'd have to say yes in order for this to work. Yes.”

“Do you believe that the penis is the giver of all life?”

“You can't make babies without sperm, so yes.”

“Do you believe the penis should be worshipped for its beauty, strength, and power?”

“I'm always on my knees worshipping Ian's. Hell, yeah!” Ian smiled broadly.

“Do you believe masculine love is the greatest of all?”


“Do you wish to be made into the image of our god Priapus and to preach and show to all the wonder of his being?”

“Preach? Well…yeah, sure.”

At that moment, the stone penises began glowing. Brendan said, “Wow, these feel so warm, like they're real!” He began rubbing his hands, which didn't even go halfway around the cocks, up and down them.

All of us stared in awe as Martin said, “O, mighty Priapus, you see before you Brendan, who has come before you to become one of your many servants. Bestow upon him now the permanent gift of hypermasculinity so that he may praise your name to all. Praise Priapus.”

Suddenly the glow from the penises began spreading up Brendan's arms. Brendan moaned ecstatically as the glow reached his chest, then travelled down to his crotch. The glow surrounded it, and then it began.

His penis began to restretch to erection after it went flaccid, but already it looked much bigger than I had estimated to start. It grew lazily, throbbing outward until it reached his knees. We were all staring open-mouthed at the sight of this. Brendan wasn't saying anything, his head thrown back in rapture as his dick grew longer, thicker with each second.

Then it began to stiffen, and Brendan's cock fell against his chest, reaching the top of the sternum. That's when we saw his balls were also glowing and growing. They were at that point the size of two lemons. Brendan spread his legs apart to give them room as the head of his cock was now touching his chin.

Lost in lust, Brendan began licking the huge head, about the size of an orange. Still holding onto the glowing stone dicks, he licked as much of the shaft as he could as it continued its path past his head. He rubbed his face against his mighty cock, kissing, licking, as it grew longer, fatter.

I suddenly felt a wet spot, and realized I'd just come in my pants watching this, but I wasn't the only one as I saw the spreading stain on Martin's jeans. I turned back to Brendan, and his huge dick had to be over four feet long by now.

Then the glow turned reddish, and Brendan began moaning loudly. His balls expanded further, pushing his legs outward. Then suddenly the light turned bright white and Brendan screamed ecstatically as his balls tightened up and his semen shot several feet into the air. But then the bright semen split like quicksilver and landed onto the statues' penises, which absorbed them quickly. Then the next spurt shot from his massive dick, and the same thing happened to the semen. It continued until the sperm was dribbling out, but even then his man-juice jumped onto the stone penises like iron filings to a magnet. Finally the glow went away, and Brendan collapsed.

Ian rushed to him, shouting, “Brendan! Oh, God, are you okay?” He gently slapped his face a couple of times, and Brendan awoke groggy. He looked up at his partner and smiled.

“I've never been better, baby.” He reached up to kiss Ian, and placed Ian's hand on his member. Ian gasped. “It's the real thing, and it's all yours.”

“But…but…now I can't…”

“Suck it? Okay, it won't fit in your mouth, or ass, but feel it. It's all man, and all good.”

Brendan grabbed his now magnificent cock like he'd had it all along, and Ian moaned as he caressed his lover's phallus. “Sorry I can't get it hard right now, considering what just happened. But I'm telling you…all of you…this is incredible. I feel so…masculine, I…I can't describe it. But you've got to do it yourselves. Come on, guys, it's time to reopen this giant dick mens' club, and we're the first new members.”

And what new members! In turn, Ian, Jim, Vince, me, and Martin each took our turn inducting ourselves into this “religion”. And what Brendan said was true. When I started growing, it felt like I'd died and went to heaven. Absolute bliss as my dick swelled to its now gigantic proportions. And when I came, it was the most intense orgasm of my life.

When we were all done, we decided to measure our new organs. It took about a half-hour after Martin's orgasm before everyone could bring their cocks to full erection. Ian turned out to be the shortest one, if you can call a dick measuring 44” even long by 17 1/4” around short. Next was Vince, with 49 1/2” x 16 3/8”. Then me, with 52 3/4” x 15 5/8 (I had the thinnest one). Brendan's huge dong was 57 1/8” by 18” even. Martin's was an eye-popping 65 7/8” x 19” even. But the king of them all was Jim's. When Vince read off how big his cock was, none of us could believe it.

77 1/2” long by 25 1/8” around! Even though we all saw just how big it got during his baptism, we didn't think it would end up longer than he is tall. He's 6’3”, which comes out to 75” tall. And he's also the biggest one limp, going all the way down to his ankles.

Although we all felt incredibly horny, our balls had been emptied by the intense orgasms, so we couldn't cum no matter how much we tried, and none of us felt like working any more today. Putting our clothes back on wasn't easy. Our new dicks stretched out so far that we were all afraid of bursting through our jeans. We would all need to wear baggier pants in order to accomodate our massive dicks. We all had to laugh when we saw Jim tuck the head of his cock into his boot; it looked like his ankle was swollen.

Before we left, Martin took the book with him. He read some things to me that night that would make things easier for us as far as sex went. He mentioned other rituals involving using the statues as dildos so that we could take these magnificent cocks down our throats or up our asses, and one to make our cocks bendable so that we don't put our internal organs out of whack. I fell asleep that night the way we always positioned ourselves: our bodies spooned, Martin's on mine. His huge cock felt wonderful on my back, and I knew that this would be the start of something big.

Praise Priapus!

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