A traveling salesman problem

by Mask

I’ve got a real problem with traveling salesmen. They show up whenever you least expect it and can’t be found when you need them most. But they always seem to know just what the customer wants…

I’ve got a bit of a traveling salesman problem, or rather a problem with traveling salesmen. I really had no use for their wares, after all, my head tended to be covered these days. But it all seemed to start that one night, when me and my roommate had a visitor.

“Given a list of cities and the distances between each pair of cities, what is the shortest possible route that visits each city exactly once and returns to the origin city?” Moose said as he pointed at his computer screen. “That’s what it says right here, Cam.”

“That’s not what I meant when I said I had a problem with traveling salesmen,” I grumbled from across the room.

“How many traveling salesmen have you actually met in current year?” Moose said as he swiveled around in his office chair. His legs were huge lumbering tree trunks, and the strength of them reverberated and rumbled against their cheap apartment floor.

“You mean 2024?” I asked indignantly. Moose shrugged his massive shoulders, his round bowling balls looking like they might detach from his traps if they got any bigger.

“Honestly any point in the last decade,” Moose said. “Kind of an outdated business practice.”

“We had a guy come to work,” I said weakly. “Tried to sell us all on some new microchip.”

“That seems more like a business deal with your tech firm than some sketchy salesman knocking at your door,” Moose said crossing his massive arms. His forearms were as wide as highway cones, yet they could hardly cover his enormous pecs which seemed to want to rip and shred every fiber in the man’s poor shirt.

“Sometimes you’re right I guess,” I said as I leaned back into the couch, twiddling away at my phone. Moose, for his part, swiveled back around to continue his work without another word. Despite his intimidating size, the man was quite intelligent, a macaw rather than a moose.

‘Moose’ was a nickname of course, a play on the fact that he was built like a bull moose. His given name was something like Richard or Williams, not that I knew for certain. If you knew him well you’d agree that it was much more plausible that his mother had held him in the delivery room, smiled gently, and uttered something like “He has his father’s antlers” before shedding a single, joy-filled tear. He was monstrously tall and inhumanly wide. I think he told me once his father started taking him to the gym at age 10 and he’d never had more than 2 rest days in a row since.

I wasn’t so bad myself, though it would be more accurate to simply refer to me as “fit” rather than Moose’s “Athlete+.” I went for runs, went to the gym 3 times a week, and did my best to eat right. No six pack, but I was no slouch either.

I gazed out the window at the bustling evening crowds of the big city. Both Moose and I were on the stingy side and had met to cut costs on a living situation. This building was hardly up to code, that was to say nothing of the architectural design flaws. Anything to save money frankly.

*knock knock knock*

Moose and I both turned towards our door. We gave each other a look, the look you could say.

“There’s no way,” I said with a hushed voice. “It can’t fucking be!”

“Maybe they’ve got the latest in mercury-based aphrodisiacs,” Moose said, a shit-eating grin crawling across his face. Before I could stop him, he darted up deftly from his seat and bounded towards the door, floorboards creaking and walls shaking all the way. In one swift motion, Moose practically tore the door off its hinge.

“Oh!” came the startled voice obscured behind Moose’s massive frame. I stood up a little too fast and stumbled forward as I tried to get a look around Moose. In the doorway was not an enigmatic salesman, but rather a frightened looking college girl.

“I-I-I didn’t mean to scare you!” Moose shouted as the girl darted away and down the steps of the building.

“No salesman and now some poor girl thinks you’re a creep,” I muttered as I reached up to pat my friends shoulder. “Next time you’ll get the girl.”

“I was really looking forward to that mercury…” Moose said in a mock dejected voice. The two of us laughed and the door slammed shut. “I’m fucking exhausted Cameron, I’m going to bed.”

“I’ll stay up a bit to see if your tungsten sleeping pills arrive,” I replied as Moose continued to chuckle. “I’ll make sure to sign anything they need.”

It was the middle of the night when I next remembered something. I rolled over in my bed, my eyes suddenly wide open and my brain completely lucid. The clock blinked 1:33 as I scratched at an itch. I looked around my shabby room, expecting to see some sort of reason for my alertness.

knock knock knock

Despite my distance from the apartment door, the sound was quite loud. My mind went back to the events with the girl who ran away. Had she come back? Surely she wouldn’t pick the wrong place two times in a row…

knock knock knock

Maybe it was police. It had been a simple misunderstanding, maybe she thought the physically intimidating Moose had broken into whatever home she was trying to find.

knock knock knock

It was insistent, and incredibly loud. Moose tended to sleep like a…well a moose so it was left to me to roll out of bed and shuffle my way towards the door. All the way there the knocks continued, but I heard no voices or other sounds. As I reached the entryway, I peered through the porthole into the hallway.

Outside, standing in the middle of the hallway, was an overdressed man. He wore a tailored suit with a perfectly even bowtie around his neck. His well trimmed hair sat neatly under a rather stylish cap. In his one hand was a suitcase, and in the other was a brochure of sorts.

“There’s no way…” I muttered. As if on cue, the man reached out and knocked three times on the door. My head recoiled instinctively before I grasped the handle and swung open the door.

“Well good morning, sir!” the salesman said at bullhorn volume. “Glad to see I’m not the only early riser in this part of town.”

“Sir,” I said. “It’s almost 2 a.m. and—”

“2 a.m. here, sure,” the salesman said, not allowing me to speak for even a moment. “But in New York it’s almost 5 a.m.!”

I stared at the man’s cheerful grin and tried to make sense of him. He was about my height, about my build, and his face was so emotive it almost swung into the uncanny valley.

“Sir,” I said, repeating myself. “It’s 2 a.m. and you’ve been very loud—”

“Again, it’s 5 a.m. in New York! We’ve already discussed this,” the man said with a corny laugh and waggling of one finger. “And I’ve only been so loud to make sure that you get this incredible deal I have prepared for you!”

The irony of the situation was funny, but only for the first 30 seconds. Now it was annoying. I reached for the handle and began to shut the door.

“Here, let me show you this brochure,” the salesman said as he shoved his hand across the threshold, preventing me from closing the door and proving at the very least that he was not a vampire. “It has a complete list of all of our products.”

Instinctively, I grabbed the brochure and opened it. In that instant, the man crossed through the door and behind me into our living room.

“Thanks for inviting me in!” the man said with a smile. He placed his suitcase down and pulled off his coat. I looked at the man nervously. If this was an invitation…shit maybe he was a vampire.

“See anything you like in there?” the man asked as he draped his coat over a chair, fixing his bowtie the instant it became crooked.

“These are all just serial numbers…” I said as I flipped through the pages. Not a single descriptor or image lined the pages, just row after row of long strings of text. “Like…what is NBJ0714820?”

“Ah, the classic NBJ line,” the salesman said. He was grinning ear to ear and seemed to be feeding off of my interest. Perhaps it was the fact that it was the witching hour, but I just couldn’t seem to pull myself from it. “That one’s the morning one. You know, like daily when you wake up.”

“Is it like a dietary supplement then?” I asked.

“Oh no no no!” the salesman said shaking his hands. “My products are much more than simple pills my friend. The NBJ line is designed for pleasure!”

“Pleasure?” I said, trying to intentionally interrupt the man’s stride. It worked against me as the salesman grabbed even more tightly on my interest.

“We guarantee an experience you won’t have felt before my friend!” he insisted. He hurried over to me and gestured at other items on the page. “We have plenty of other items in the line as well. The NBJ881473 is for right before bed, the NBJ1200148 for during meals. Personally, I have the “on command” NBJ4024723 at work, it makes things much more interesting.”

“What kind of pleasure is the NJB8000?” I asked incredulously.

“It’s the NBJ line and unfortunately there isn’t an 8000 series designation,” the salesman explained as he interrupted. I groaned, but the man quickly placed his arms on my shoulders.

“I’ll tell you what my friend,” the salesman said with a grin. “I’ll give you the NBJ0714820, NBJ881473, NBJ1200148, AND the NBJ4024723 all for free.”

“All for free?” I said with a little too much curiosity.

“All for free sir,” the man insisted as he took back control of the conversation. “If you remain unsatisfied, you can return them. But if you find that you love your new life then I want you to contact me for some further product discussions.”

Without another word, the man shoved a card into my hand. On it was a phone number and email, though curiously it did not have any kind of name on it.

“You will enjoy the NBJ line like nothing you’ve ever enjoyed before,” the salesman said. He placed his briefcase on a nearby table and pulled out a receipt. “Here you are, you’ll see I’ve adjusted the price to be free of charge.”

I grasped the receipt in my hand, ready to laugh at the absurd joke of this crazed man coming into my home to pull of this shitty skit. Surely there was a hidden camera of some sort, a live audience ready to shout “Gotcha!”

But as I looked at the items listed, all four of them were the exact NBJ items we’d just discussed. There had been several dozen of the NBJ’s alone, surely he could not have a receipt for any combination? It even had the exact time of transaction, 1:58 a.m. And the names at the bottom…

“How’d you do this?” I asked. “You a magician or something?”

“You jest my friend!” the man laughed as he pulled on coat. “I am just a simple salesman looking to make sure my customers get a good deal!”

“Well thanks for the receipt then,” I said. “Do you…have the product? Or will it be shipped?”

“It should start arriving tomorrow morning,” the man said, already at the door. “Make sure that you and Mr. Alces enjoy!”

“How did you—?” I started, but. The door was already slammed and I was left standing there, alone. All I had as proof of my surefire fever dream was this tacky bit of paper.

“David Alces…” I said as I stumbled back to my room. I placed the card on my nightstand and took one last look at the receipt as I crawled back under the covers. Next to each of the four line items was that name. Few people actually knew a David Alces, most people just called him Moose.

I had the most wonderful dream, though I had no idea what was going on. All I could make out was a rhythmic “mmph mmph mmph” sound, and all I could feel was pleasure. Even in my unconscious state, I knew I was having a wet dream, and if I didn’t wake up soon, I’d have to put in an embarrassing load of laundry.

With all my might, I wrenched myself awake, my eyes fluttering open. As I blinked in the morning light, I couldn’t help but continue to hear the same sound I’d hear in my dream. There was also a rather strange feeling around my waist.

“Mmph mmph mmmmmmph,” moaned someone in my room. My heartbeat quickened. I went to pull myself up, but I found my waist resisting movement.

“Shtahp mooveen,” someone said as if they had a mouthful of something preventing them from speaking. With all my might, I strained my neck up to see what in the hell was going on.

Leaning over me on all fours, naked as the day he was born, was Moose. The hulking behemoth of a man was leaning over my waist, his mouth wrapped around my hard cock. The pleasurable sensation and resistance suddenly made sense.

“What the fuck, Moose?” I shouted. I squirmed and tried to pull myself away, but Moose’s head simply followed along, his tongue still working away. The simply squirming was almost enough to get me to release my load.

“Howdon!” Moose murmured as he continued to blow me. He shuffled forward, grabbing at my waist and wrapping himself around my ass. I tried to resist, but the feeling of his thick, corded muscles was just incredible. I couldn’t help but release my load. My cock pulsated and sputtered as both me and Moose moaned loudly. I could feel Moose suck every last drop out of me, with my limp, clean cock dropping gently out of his mouth.

“Wooh,” Moose said with a sigh. He stood up on his knees and backed off the bed. His enormous muscles glistened in the early morning light. His own monster cock swinging between his legs almost reached the bed itself. “You good bro? Nightmare or something?”

“What…?” was all I could imagine as I heaved in and out. I stared at the beautiful man before me in all his grandeur.

“Usually you’re more calm when I wake you up,” Moose said, his face now showing genuine concern. “Thought you might have had a nightmare.”

I stared at the man and blinked. The two of us had been quite respectful of each other, and even though we lived together I had never even seen Moose without a shirt let alone commando…in my bedroom…giving me a blowjob.

“You’re clearly not awake yet,” Moose said laughing. “I gotta get ready for work, get up or you’ll be late.”

With that, Moose simply opened and walked out the door, shutting it behind him. There I lay in my tank top and briefs, cock still pulled out and hanging.

“What the fuck,” was all I could manage. I quickly pulled up my briefs and stumbled out of bed. In my hurry, I saw a small card fall off my nightstand, but I was in too much of a rush to care.

I hurried into the hallway still hardly dressed. I peered into Moose’s room and saw that he was already dressed. He was walking to his bathroom, no doubt to shave before he left. He’d always been quick to get ready, but you could hardly have thought he’d just blown me 3 minutes prior.

“I’m hallucinating,” I said to myself as I turned on my heel and made my way to the kitchen. There was no fucking way in the world that the hottest man on the planet had just given me the greatest blowjob I’d ever experienced.

“I hallucinated,” I repeated as I grabbed a bowl and some cheerios. I placed both on the counter and walked to the fridge to grab the milk.

“It was a damn good hallucination,” I repeated as I poured the milk. What I wouldn’t give to have Moose blow me again. His huge, hulking body working away at my waist. His strong body taking my cock and sucking it dry.

As I picked up my spoon, I imagined Moose, naked once again, walking out of his room and into the kitchen. I imagined him smiling and getting down on his knees, pulling down my briefs, pushing himself under the counter, and wrapping himself around my cock. He gripped my legs tightly, stuffing my head down his gorgeous head, or so I imagined. I gripped his hair with my free hand, and each scoop of cereal I thrust myself into my roommate. Moose and I moaned, and as I finished my last bite, I felt myself release into Moose, who gripped my tightly as he sucked me dry.

And with a deep sigh, I stepped back, my limp dick falling flaccidly out the top of my briefs. I went to grab my bowl of cereal, but my hand accidentally collided with Moose’s head as he was standing up.

“Shit, man!” Moose said as his head was smacked into the countertop. “That fucking hurt!”

I blinked at the naked Moose in front of me. I rubbed my eyes and he did not disappear.

“I gotta go get redressed,” Moose said as he rubbed the back of his head. He stood up to full height, his body very real and in front of me. “I’ll see you for lunch.”

“For lunch?” I said as the towering man stumbled back up the hallway.

“Same as always!” Moose said as the shaking ground dissipated.

The moment his perfectly round ass rounded the corner, I grabbed my head and leaned against the counter. I looked down at my dick which had most definitely not just fallen out of my briefs. I must be sick, I’ll have to take the day off of work.

“The fucking salesman…” I muttered. “The NBJ…”

“Are you feeling all right?” Moose said as he rounded the corner again. I stood up quickly. Moose was back to being fully dressed and prepped for work.

“I-I think so,” I said.

“I would have thought you’d be more used to naked blowjobs by now,” Moose muttered to himself softly as he gave me a look of concern.

“Naked blowjobs?” I asked, though by now the cogs were turning and I did know the answer.

“Yeah! NBJs!” Moose said laughing. “You must be real out of it. Why don’t you call of work? I’ll be back whenever you’re having lunch.”

And with that the door slammed shut. I did end up taking the day off, and like clockwork the moment I sat down for lunch the door opened and naked Moose walked in and blew me. When dinner came he curled himself under the table and slurped away. When at last I grew weary and crawled into bed, who was there to meet me except my dashing naked roommate ready to suck me clean? The salesman’s guarantee meant that Moose was there five times a day to clean me out, regardless of where I ended up being.

Truly he had really undersold the quality of his product. The “on command” NBJ4024723 allowed me to ask for a naked blow job at any time. Moments later naked Moose would waltz around the corner and happily start working away as if he’d always been waiting in the wings. He’d blown me at the office, during meetings, on the metro home, whenever I was in need he always seemed to be just around the corner. No one minded, least of all him, and each time the experience was more pleasurable than the last.

I never did find that card the man gave me—that’s why I still had this traveling salesman problem. What I wouldn’t do to call and thank him, to get a look at that catalogue again. I could really hardly complain, with Moose on his knees all day for me. Maybe he’s off selling something to some other lucky guy.

I’ve got a bit of a traveling salesman problem, or rather a problem with traveling salesmen. Not that I really need one per se, I’ve gotten pretty handy at things these days. I remember though, it all started way back at the office one day…

“James have you GOT that REport in?!?!”

The tone was that of a frantic scream, of a shrill tennis pensioner whose court was in use, of a final girl in a slasher film, of a soccer mom who-

“James I SAID do YOU haVE that report!” shouted my boss once again. He stood over me as I set my bag down—I’d only just walked in seconds ago.

“Submitted yesterday Mr. Lestener,” I said curtly. My boss simply swiveled on his heels and marched off, apparently contented. I sighed as I sat down in my little office chair and did a little spin. You’d think the report was of life-threatening, when it was really just a graph measuring the efficacy of a proposed microchip. The graph was the third of seven tests we’d done on it, hardly a major concern.

“Hey James!” my coworker said as he walked by. He sauntered over and sat down at his seat.

“Hey Cam,” I said with a wave. Cameron was the guy who worked at the desk right across from me. He was a pretty fit guy, I’d seen him out of that dressy attire when we last had our office basketball outing. I was a little jealous of him, but at least I got to look at him all day.

The day continued on like any other, nothing out of the ordinary. Typing, coding, graphing, writing. The clicking and clacking of keys engulfed the room. Every now and again I would glance up at Cam. He always seemed to fidget in his chair, as if he were trying to stave off something.

Finally, he sighed, mumbled something or another and then rolled his chair out. I heard the familiar sounds of shaking desks and glanced up the hallway.

Sure enough, there he was: the most beautiful man I’d ever seen. As much as I had a crush on Cam, his blowjobber was truly out of this world. He would show up during lunch and every now and again during the normal workday and would give Cam a blowjob.

The guy was enormous, muscles rippling from every angle. His head grazed some of the smaller doors, and his shoulder sometimes smacked against the frames. He was, of course, completely naked every time I’d seen him, not that that mattered or anything.

“Hey Cam,” the guy said with a grin, his smile infectious.

“What’s up Moose,” Cam replied. If I had to use a word to describe this animal before me, I too would call him moose. Cam leaned back in his chair and put his hands behind his back. “I’ve been so tight all morning. I just gotta get release and I can’t wait till lunch.”

“No problemo,” the moose said as he got onto the floor and stripped down my coworker. Some of our other colleagues glanced over, only to return to their work. I for one tried my best to do the same, but I could hardly focus when such masculinity was on display before me.

“Oh that’s goooood,” Cam moaned loudly. It always seemed like he took great pleasure in these blowjobs. I wished that I could have such a man do the same to me, not that I would have it done so publicly. That wasn’t weird for Cam, but it would definitely be weird if it was anyone else.

I typed and typed as Cam moaned, shivered, and shook. The moose grabbed at my coworker’s hips as he smashed his head as far into the man’s crotch as it could. You’d think that it was attached and never came off. With each moan, each audible slurp, each clear motion either gave, I felt my cock harden and dig into my tailored suit pants.

“Today more than any other, huh,” I muttered to myself. It wasn’t like I’d never seen this before, after all, this had been going on for as long as Cam had been working here.

“OoooOoooOOOOoooh,” Cam moaned, no, shouted. Still everyone else typed and clicked away at their keyboards, content with the completely normal situation. I felt myself heating up, my own cock throbbing as it begged for something, anything to happen.

And as the pair in front of me grew closer and closer to climax, I felt myself swaying in sync in my seat. As Cam arched his back and shouted, I bolted up from my seat and darted to the bathroom, slamming the door behind me.

I only barely got my cock unzipped before it too started spewing hot flicks of cum all over the bathroom. I panted, heaving with effort as my cock twitched itself back to limpness. I collapsed backwards into the wall.

After I had cleaned up, narrowly avoiding Mr. Lestener finding out exactly how long I actually spent in the bathroom, I came out to finish my work. Cam was already cleaned up, his pants rezipped and his mind refocused. The animal, that moose, was gone. He’d probably walked out the same way he’d come in. If only I’d followed him.

Even without the moose there, Cam was still stunning. I still couldn’t help but look up at him every now and again. He was the perfect amount of fit for me.

It had been another hour or so when Cam suddenly stood up and stretched. He reached down and pulled out his lunchbox and shuffled over to the staff lounge. I checked my watch, already 12:15. Better take lunch break myself before Lestener has me starve. I stood up and slammed directly into someone.

“Oh excuse me,” said the hulking, naked man before me. It was the moose, and I’d just walked face first into the pillowiest set of pectorals I’d ever laid eyes upon. It seems like he was already back for lunch, and he quickly dipped into the staff lounge himself. I quickly stepped forward to follow him.

“Woah!” came another shout, this time from someone running into me, completely knocking me to the side. “I didn’t see you there my friend-o!”

“Oh it’s really all right…” I muttered as I stood up. The man before me was rather dull looking, except for his choice of attire. He wore a tailored suit, bow tie, and even a rather large hat over his head. In his hand he held a suitcase, under tucked under his arm was what looked to be a brochure.

“Let me help you up good fellow!” the man said after I’d already done so myself. He instead took my hand and shook it furiously. “I really must apologize for that, I’m oh so terribly sorry sir.”

“It’s really all right,” I repeated. I glanced over towards the lounge, hoping to get a quick glance in at the objects of my lust. Instead, the peculiar man simply repositioned himself so that he was standing between me and door.

“Say, my boy,” the man said with a grin. “I’ll make it up to you.”

“Old man it was fine,” I said as I tried to side step him. It was to no avail, the man was had clearly played defense in his more youthful days.

“It is fine youngster!” he said cheerfully. He quickly pulled out his little brochure and shoved it into my hand. “Go ahead! Take your pick.”

“I don’t need any of this,” I said as I flipped the pages. I stopped and pointed at a particular section. “What is this even supposed to be? There’s no description!”

“Why, those are the HJ models,” the man said matter of factly. “They’re quite good.”

“Oh yeah,” I said, chuckling now. “What’s the HJ20195 then?”

“Oh, you don’t strike me as the type, you would want that one,” he said mumbling. “Instead I might direct you to the—”

“Hey, wait—” I tried to interrupt. The salesman was clearly more experienced than I.

“I recommend something along the lines of HJ152454 if you’re looking for help,” he explained. I went to speak again but he interrupted. “The HJ20195 really only works for certain…persuasions. And you strike me as someone with different preferences.”

“All right,” I said. “What’s that other model do then?”

“It would be hard to explain,” the salesman said, frowning for the first time. “That model is more for those looking for help with their HJ. Do you…normally want help with your HJ?”

“I can do all of my HJs myself thank you very much,” I bullshitted as I stifled a laugh.

“Perfect!” the man said before I could even think. “Then instead we’ll go for the HJ7223EH since you’re such a capable young man.”

In an instant, he’d set his briefcase down on my desk. From it, he procured a receipt. He handed it to me and I looked it over.

“Free of charge you’ll see,” the man said as he closed his briefcase and took back his brochure.

“This has the exact time and date on it,” I said as I check my watch. “And my name too next to the product. How did you-?”

“Ta ta!” the man said as he tipped his hat at me. He pulled out a small card from his coat pocket and set it on the edge of my desk. “Product should arrive within the hour!”

And with that, the man left, and I stood there blinking. In that same moment, the door to staff lounge opened up and out walked the hulking moose. He was wiping his dripping mouth and was looking down as he walked. I was so dumbfounded I didn’t move.

“Ah!” cried out the moose as he ran directly into me. Normally I would have cared a little more, but instead the impact only moved me from my stupor. The moose stepped back, running ass first into my desk and knocking several things off of it and onto the ground.

“Sorry!” he called out as he continued walking down the hall. I grumbled a bit as I leaned over and picked things off the floor. It was only little things like pencils and papers, and as far as I could tell I’d gotten everything.

“Wonder where that card went,” I muttered to myself as I sat back down in my seat. Not that it especially mattered. Cam returned from the lounge and my clock clearly read 12:54 on it. I’d missed out on lunch, I’d just have to starve.

I gazed up at the clock, it was somehow only 1:30. My stomach growled for the thousandth time as I shifted uncomfortably at my desk.

Cam too was shifting. His hips squirmed this way and that. He pulled at his necktie and even scratched at his balls. It was truly incredible how pent up he seemed.

“I need a blowjob,” he said audibly as I heard the door up the hallway open. Thump thump thump came the naked moose right on cue. Cam had already pushed his chair back.

“You seem uptight today Cam,” the moose said.

“Make this one last Moose,” Cam replied. “I gotta make it to the end of the day.” Each of them grinned at each other as the moose climbed down and started working while Cam clearly stopped working. Not that that mattered or anything. Why would it?

Once again I could feel myself growing stiff. It was like I was already lit on fire. I rubbed at my pants, trying to calm myself down. My right arm started to feel a little…weird.

“Oh that’s gooood Moose,” Cam moaned. I looked up at them again, the view of the moose’s incredible back on full display. He was actually partially standing up now, leaning over the increasingly reclined Cam.

“Damn what an ass…” I muttered quietly as I took in the view. I gripped my suddenly aching right shoulder with my other hand. It felt like it was ringing, throbbing almost.

I tried to continue working, I really did. It was just that I was so fucking horny from watching Cam and his moose. I could feel my cock throbbing on its own, desperate for love and attention.

Unexpectedly, I heard a very distinct zipping sound. I looked around, the sound had been quite loud all things considered. Then there was a rummaging, a ruffling, and suddenly I felt something grasp my dick.

I looked down at my own pants to see that someone was reaching around the side of my waist and had unzipped my own pants and pulled out my dick. I reached over with my arm to grab at the other hand, only to bump right into the thing

“Holy shit…” I stifled out. The arm that had grasped my cock was not someone else’s but my own. It trailed up and sat directly below my own right arm. Somehow, my dress shirt had extended itself with an extra sleeve, perfectly tailored to fit me.

My new arm was slowly and methodically jacking me off. It moved up and down so smoothly and naturally as if it were specially designed to do only that. I felt the pleasure welling up inside my loins. I could even feel every sensation up into the arm. As my original right arm bumped it, I felt it in both. My new elbow twitched from side to side as if I had always had it. I did a little awkward chicken dance with all three of my arms, each moving in sync to my command.

“James!” came a huge shout. I stiffened up. Mr. Lestener was storming up the hall. I looked down at my new arm and panicked. What was he going to think this thing was?

I tried to pull it back, to shove it behind my back, but I could only seem to move it so much. It was like my new hand was attached to my cock. No matter how I moved the upper portion, I could never move it or untangle it from my cock.

Mr. Lestener walked right past Cam and his moose, not giving so much as a second glance to the completely normal public nudity and blowjob. I frantically tried to grab at my new hand with the other two, but it wouldn’t budge. Not a single finger would uncurl, and now amount of mental or physical willpower would get it to stop its rhythmic motion.

But damn it felt good.

“James DID you file thAT fifth repORT!” Mr. Lestener said with his incredible articulation skills. He stood over me, staring at me with the eyes of a lion ready to pounce.

“It’s not what it looks like boss!” I stammered. “I swear I-I—”

“Get it in by tomORRow James,” the boss said with a tutt. Without another word, he spun on his heel and walked away.

I sat there, dumbfounded. I looked around at my coworkers. They simply gave me a glance of pity and got back to their work. In spite of the clear misconduct of my masturbation, it was like none of them noticed.

I looked back at the clearly acceptable PDA happening between my coworker and his blowjobber. They didn’t seem to notice or care. I felt my third hand starting to increase in intensity, my cock getting harder.

“Mooooooooooose,” Cam moaned. I couldn’t help but let out a little moan myself. I quickly smacked a hand against my mouth, but again, nobody seemed to care.

How was it that no one cared that I was jacking off to this? It was ludicrous really, but I felt myself heating up. My abs tensed up, my glutes clenched.

“A little longer Moooose,” Cam said. I moaned at that, it came out like a scream. I was in a daze now, myself unaware of everyone else’s ambivalence. My third arm was going fast now, up and down, up and down. My other arms lie at my sides, I was leaning back in my chair, my back arched, my teeth clenched, I could feel it all coming to a single point.

And with a scream I burst open, cum flying all over my desk. At the same time, I heard Cam bellowing from in front of me. And then I heard the clicking of keys and buzzing of phones.

As I regained my senses, I saw the moose pat Cam on the shoulder. He said goodbye and stomped off down the hall. Cam sighed, scooted up in his chair, and began to work away again.

I looked at him, expecting a reaction, but he didn’t seem to notice. It was only then that I noticed that my third arm hadn’t stopped. It still gripped my cock tightly, moving up and down methodically. I could feel it so clearly, but it was as if it was completely unspent, unfatigued from the effort.

“Handjob,” I muttered as I looked at the cum soaked receipt on my desk. “Extra hand.”

My extra hand was always giving me a handy, from dawn to dusk and back to dawn again. Each time I reached climax it was almost beyond pleasurable. After the first few times, I’d expected it to lessen, but it never did. I jacked off at home, at dinner parties, and of course, at work. Not a soul cared, even if they were the accidental recipient of my seed.

If I ever do run into that salesman again, the first thing I’ll do after I thank him might be to kiss him. I never did find that card again, but damn was it worthwhile.

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