Description Drinking to excess is a sure-fire way to get yourself killed, unless you’re one of the lucky few who need a few kegs... and can stand to face yourself without a mirror.
|Updated||27 Oct 2017|
A rotund black panther walks into the well known Dragon’s Horde brewpub, looking at the sights and sounds. It’s early. The place has just opened up, and it was an off-day for him. He hit a medium prize on the lotto that he played on a whim. A whole smacking $2500 he now had… not that he needed much to begin with. But it was enough to indulge.
So, he slung his dreads back and sat down at the bar where the six armed dragon Dan noticed and said “Hey chief. What can I get for you?”
“I’ll have your house porter,” he said, slapping a few hundred dollar bills on the counter. ”And start a tab.”
This made Dan look at a beefier dragon, who nodded. He poured the beer, slipping in a shot, and started the tab. He served the beer and asked “What’s your name, by the way? We’re a bit slow so if you don’t mind…”
“Jay,” the black panther said as the beefier dragon slipped out. “I do a Youtube channel of video game news and reviews. I was with a gaming magazine before it folded.”
“Oh, yeah, the printing costs were getting high? I heard about that.”
Jay drank down his beer, surprising in one sitting with fluid and grace. ”Yeah. Heard of The Drunken Gamer?”
Dan paused before he realized. ”Oh! You wrote that? That was an interesting take! You put it out as a video series now?”
“Yeah. I’d down about a keg or more, inflating this…” Jay smacked his gut, making it wobble a bit. “…while reviewing various games. Don’t know why. I don’t get drunk unless I have a few large kegs into me.”
“Thus the advance payment. You want to get drunk today.”
“Yes, yes. I’m taking a break from videos. A bit of a vacation. It always takes me a while to get back down to normal, and I want to eat some real food while I’m at it instead of having a liquid dinner.”
“Hmmmm…” Dan said as an overly muscular bobcat, Officer Robert Thames, came in and started to overhear.
“Jay!” the officer said. ”Whatcha doing here?”
“Trying to get drunk,” the panther said. ”You know me and my expanding gut and slow metabolism.”
“Don’t I know it. I grabbed the full breathalyzer kit.”
The muscular dragon, fully suited up this time, came out after hearing the bobcat say that, and said “Officer Thames, you know this person?”
“Jay Amazon? Yeah, we know him. I got the call about it. Now, today’s my day off, but I also brought a camera and some paperwork. We’d like to do a few public service announcements here. Jay’s perfect for what we have in mind, but… Hey, Cyren? Is Val your lawyer for the bar?”
“She is,” the beefy dragon replied, “and I’m glad you’re asking.” Cyren turned towards the office and boomed, “Archie! Call my sister Val! the police want to film a PSA and we gotta get the contracts reviewed!”
“I’ll call up the DA,” Rob said, “make sure we make things kosher here.”
“I better call my lawyer then,” Jay said.
With the contracts reviewed and signed, Archie set up a camera and some lights, as Rob took Jay’s first test.
BEEEP! The machine read 0.01, which Rob announced.
Jay turned towards the camera. ”Hi! I’m the Drunken Gamer on Youtube.”
Rob turned and said, “I’m Officer Thames from your local police.”
Dan, in view, turned and said “And I’m Dan, the bartender here. When going out for a drink or two, remember to know your limits.”
Rob added, “Not everyone’s limit is the same, and bartenders will cut you off if they feel like you’re over what you can handle.”
“So if you’re buzzed or tipsy,” Jay said, “you’re over. Call a cab, ride share, or driver service.”
“Some bars participate in a pre-check program,” Dan said. ”Ask for a breathalyzer test to get started, but if you’re over, we can’t pour another for the road.”
“The legal limit by law is 0.08,” Rob purred. “Any more, and you’re risking your life as well as anyone else on the road.”
“My sister was killed by someone over the limit who drove,” Jay added. “Horrible accident. Guy got ten years.”
“The guy should’ve asked us for a ride,” Dan said. “We can call one for you.”
Rob said, “So if you’re buzzed or tipsy…”
“…you’re hitting your limit.”
“Let someone sober drive for you.”
Jay turned back to looking at the breathalyzer and said, “That’s only after one beer? Geeez….”
“Cut!” Archie said.
Cyren said, “You had ten so far, Jay. Why did you pull that whopper out?”
“I didn’t want to give the wrong impression, given my odd ability,” Jay answered. ”Do we need another take?”
“We’re good.” Archie said. “They asked for six takes.”
“Well, not so good.” Robert started. ”When you called, Cyren, the chief got wind and asked me to do a ‘capacity test’ on Jay. Apparently he’s a big fan.”
“Um…” Jay demurred. “I think we’ll need to do this carefully if you want me to get immobile.”
“I called for backup,” Cyren said, pointing his thumb towards the door. Almost on queue, a six armed weasel medic came in with his own medkit, along with a six armed ferret partner. The dragon looked, and said, “Speak of the devils. Lance! Over here.”
The weasel called and said, “Hey! I heard you got the Drunken Gamer here. What’s this about a capacity test?”
“BRAAAAARRRRRPPPP!” Jay belched, having been relocated to a nearby hotel that could accommodate him.
“Well, Hank,” Lance said. “This one’s going down in medical history.”
“I’d say,” his medic partner, a six armed ferret, said. “I would of never guessed he would be… that capable.”
“The next few hours would be interesting to see,” Cyren said, looking at Jay. Sitting down on a rather comfortable couch, with his head on a pillow and arms splayed along the back of it, Jay tried to look down… and saw his bloated belly.
“Man…” Jay said. “How am I not being (hic) crushed?”
“We pulled your bulk forward. I’m surprised you’re not ripped and ruptured by now. You downed like five kegs.”
“I feel like I downed five kegs. I gotta (hic) stop drinking. I’m forgetting, how big am I again?”
“It won’t matter,” Cyren replied, “But your belly extends out about nine feet in front of you and nine from side to side.”
“I’m a big kitty…. big… sleepy… kitty.”
“I’m paying for the hotel room.” Cyren said. “I’m right next door.”
“Okay… turn off da (hic) lights will ya? And turn on the fan?”
“Sure.” Cyren motions to the medics and they all file out, with Cyren turning on the AC and closing the door.
Outside, Cyren said, “Okay, I’ll give you a ring if something serious comes up.”
“Are you sure?” Lance said.
“Yeah. Magic is about to happen. He’s going to go two-player.”
“Wait… You didn’t…”
“Dan slipped in a blocker earlier. The last brew turned that into a moderator and the change-over.”
Hank looked, thought, and said, “307 Ale?”
Cyren nodded. “Let’s go, Lance. We better get some rest.”
“But…” Lance started before being dragged out by the ferret.
“I expect a Marvin Martian impersonation!” Cyren called out as they exited the hotel.
Inside, Jay didn’t hear him—he was passed out. The hyper-beer he had drunk had finally got to him, and he was laid back, head to his side, belly imitating a holding tank full of five kegs of liquid and gas. Passing out was intentional, given what was about to happen.
Jay started expanding sideways, widening, starting to duplicate. His nose widened, then split into two identical noses, continuing to widen his muzzle, his head, his neck and body. Then a solid split line formed, and within minutes two heads were free from each other… followed by the two necks. Slowly this continued, chest and torso widening, then splitting… arms regrowing… hips widening then splitting into two… legs regrowing… paws gaining purchase… Jay’s tail thickened hard, then widened and split.
Jay’s now shared gut then sectioned itself off between the two bodies, splitting what was left to power what was next… something big. Each gut shuddered as it had another keg and a half of ale left… and the bodies started adding muscle. Delts and triceps grew. Everything grew. Jay’s bodies widened with muscle, as his pecs bulged out, and his heads started nestling into his increasingly growing massive bodies. Even his cock and balls got in on the action, thickening, lengthening, expanding until they sat heavy on his thick thighs, reaching out to his knees. Jay’s double guts shrank, then tightened up as the last of the beer was spent, forming over-defined abdominals.
The beer spent, two slabs of Jay beef rested on the couch, filling it up. Slowly, he stirred back into consciousness… and decided it was uncomfortable. He got up, half-aware, and plunked each body into the dual beds… where he fell back asleep.
Jay woke up, both bodies opening his eyes as dawn hit them. He stretched, his expansive frames filling each bed. Slowly he got both bodies up, stretching more, and headed to the bathroom.
And then he said to his twin, “Don’t I look good today.”
His other bod looked back, purring, “Don’t we look good today.”
The two grinned, as they took turns at the toilet before climbing both in the shower. As Jay felt each other’s body, getting more familiar with it, he purred… and realized, “Oh hey… I’m in control of both. I’ve one-upped! And man, I’m thick…”
Jay’s cocks on both sides started stiffening and extending, reaching to the point up to his shoulder blades, as he kept caressing himselves. Each body reached out to the opposite’s cock and felt it, rubbing up and down… until they climaxed, spunk spewing against the side. Jay felt it twice over, a pleasurable feeling, and he let it go until he was spent. Ooooh, the joys of infinite hot water.
He showered, cleaned up, groomed himselves and finished up. On the bathroom’s counter, though, was a note: ”For clothing, call this number and tell them Cyren send you.”
One body noticed the shreds of clothing left behind on the couch, while the other one grabbed the hotel room’s phone and dialed the number.
It rang once and picked up. ”Gwen’s emergency clothing hotline. Were you recently transformed?”
“Yeah…” Jay said, looking down and seeing massive pecs on his calling body. “I seemed to have muscled up… and doubled my body count.”
“Do you look like you’ve been hitting the gym regularly, every day, every hour, or just look like you’re about to go on a raid?”
“Tag team raid with double heavies that look like I’m three times the size… and overhung to boot.”
“I’m escalating this to our head designer. Where are you located? Your phone number looks like to be a local hotel…”
“Uh… The General Fell Inn. Room… 351, it says here. Um… I got a note to say Cyren sent me?”
“Your clothing bill is covered, hon. We got everything. Relax your bods, Red will be there shortly.”
“Thank you for calling Gwen’s! Have an awesome day. Tah!”
Jay hung up the phone while his other bod cleaned up the mess and checked his wallet… or wallets. Somehow those had duplicated as well, and his IDs were flagged with a special “MULTIBOD” tag. ”Huh,” he thought. ”Glad I bought that truck. I’ll need the room.”
Both Jays and Red walked into the Dragon’s Horde, chatting about video games they’ve played in the past, and holding two conversations at once. They sat at the bar, and chatted some more as Dan came up.
“Dan!” Red’s free middle head said. “Did you meet Jay yesterday? Was that you or Cyren?”
“That was me,” the six armed dragon replied to the stretched hypersized cerberus cougar. “And I had to do a two-in-one this time… or should I say three in one.”
“Three in one?” A Jay asked while winding down the other conversation. ”You mean you mixed three shots in one?”
“Yeah, hold up your hands.” Dan said.
Jay held them all up, and saw not only that each hand had thickened and widened, but also each finger save for the thumb had duplicated. Were it not for the extra bulk each body was carrying, it would look out of proportion.
“That,” Dan started, “is my Hemmingway shot, and I gave you four of those. The extra body is a Duplifully, and your thicker tail is a Gideon. Cyren slipped you a MeanGreen.”
“And it’s looking good on me,” Jay said, alternating bodies as Cyren came out from the office behind the bar. ”And my videos are going to look crazy! But I have some hidden footage that’ll let me transition to what I look like now.”
“Oh really?” Dan said. “Archie here was looking at your channel and had to comment on your high quality of production. He wondered if you had experience or…”
“Film major in college. Graduated with high marks. Could be the next Steven Spielberg given the chance.”
“Think you can still down two kegs and hold it?” Dan said.
“Lets see if the Drunken Gamer still can.” Jay said.
“As much as I can pay for this excursion…” Red started, but Dan cut him off. He shook his head.
“Jay prepaid for his drinks. He’s got two kegs left.”
“Really,” Red said. “Guess we’d have to get this on film. Archie…”
“He’s back there.”
“Archie! Bring the camera!”
And so, another capacity test was performed at the Dragon’s Horde.