Our fun thing

By Martin Boyar 
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• Latest update: 8 August. Next update: 22 August. (Submissions welcome.)

• Latest from BRK: “The Arsenal of Secrets”, Parts 1‑10.


This was something we loved to do, every day, even several times a day.

"I don't get multiplication," I said, sounding frustrated.

He laughed, sounding encouraging.

"I didn't either, believe me. But it's not hard when you get the knack of it."

He pulled his feet forward. They were smooth and handsome, and really nice. I couldn't wait.

"Let's use my feet as an everyday example, ok?


"We start with two, right? One, two." He pointed to his one foot, then his other foot.


"All right now. What's two times two?"

"Is it the same as two plus two?"

"As a matter of fact it is, in this case, but adding is not exactly the same as multiplying. See, two times one is two. I have two feet. Times one is still two feet. Now, if I have two feet times two, how many is that?"


"Right. I have two feet, now I times them by two, and it should be four. Let's count. I'll touch my feet and see how many I have. One, two, three four." He touched all four feet, one after the other, with his finger. He had me do it too, to confirm for myself. I touched his first foot, then his second foot, then his third foot, then his fourth foot.

"Four, I said."

"Fine," he said. "So I had two feet and I times it by two, now I have four feet. And you can check by dividing four by two. Four feet divided by two is two feet. See, now I have two feet again. Easy, huh?"

He was down to his two original feet.

"I guess so,"it was my turn to say. "But it's like just adding two plus two."

"Right, in this case. But let's try a bigger number to multiply by. Two times three is not the same as two plus three. How much is two plus three?"


"Correct. So let's see what two times three is. Ok, two feet, times three, that's six. Times three means we take two feet, times once, then times twice is another two feet, that's four feet, then times three is another two feet, that's six. Get it?"

"One, two, three, four, five, six. I think so."

I touched all six feet with my finger tip, then counted them back the other way. Six, for sure.

"As you get into the bigger numbers," he said, "you just have to memorize your multiplication tables. What's two times sixteen?"

"I don't know."

"Well, let's count. Ok, two feet, now times sixteen, that means I have sixteen pairs of two feet. You count them."

"Oh, man this is too hot," I said, counting them. And I meant it, but I wanted to do my favorite one. "I'm tired of playing guys practicing math, " I said. "How about like I win the jackpot when the slot machine comes up all feet."

"That's easy," he laughed. "Pull the one-armed bandit," he said, holding up his hand like it was the handle of a slot machine.

I pulled it.

He made a whirling sound and sort of whirled his eyes, like a slot machine spinning its wheels.

"Feet … . .feet … .FEET! Jackpot!"

And he tumbled feet all over me, more and more of them, til I was almost buried, beautiful feet all over me. We were both laughing, so aroused!

"Oh god, I'm coming!" I said.

"Me, too," he laughed, as we both shot come everywhere, and all over all off his feet!

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