Description Jeremy gets dragged to a blind date at a coffeehouse that seems to have an inexplicable effect on Jeremy’s body.
|Updated||22 Aug 2020|
“Wait!” Jeremy said, stopping dead on the sidewalk just outside Benny’s Coffeehouse. He looked up at the marquee in alarm.
“What’s the problem?” I asked him, confused. “You love this coffee. I bring it to you all the time.”
“I know, but… fuck, Leo, I can’t go in there.”
I frowned at him. His forehead was actually beaded with sweat, he was so riled up. What the hell?
We were in the way and people were moving around us to get in and out of the place, so I moved us a littler to one side. “Dude, what are you talking about?” I asked, a little put out.
“I dunno,” he said. He looked over the old-fashioned storefront with wide eyes. “There’s something in there, something about their wi-fi or something. It… makes me grow stuff.”
I stared flatly at him. “Grow stuff,” I repeated.
“Yeah,” he said, with a gulp. “Like, last time I was in there I grew… arms.”
Okay, this was nuts. “Right,” I scoffed. “So you’re saying, you used to have only four arms, and then you went into Benny’s and… abracadabra? ‘Extra arms’?”
Jeremy finally looked at me. “I used to have two arms like you,” he told me seriously. He added in a low voice, “I’ve actually been in there a couple times.”
Finally it dawned on me that Jeremy was putting me on in order to try to get out of the blind date I’d set him up for. I’d known Jeremy for five years, since we both started working at Bohring & Layme as paralegals, and he’d had six arms the whole time. Heck, I’d even seen little-league pictures with him gripping the bat with all six hands, though he’d probably had to pick two to actually use when they were playing.
I got behind him and pushed him bodily toward the door, which conveniently opened to let out a blond female customer as we approached. “You promised to meet my cousin Billy for a simple, no-strings coffee date,” I reminded him as I steered him into the shop. “I told you he’s new in town, and I told him I’d fix him up with the best-looking guy I know.”
“Thanks, but…” Now that we were in the store he seemed to hesitate, uncertain whether to flee or just give up now that he was here. I, however, had no patience for this cold feet bullshit. I spotted my smiling cousin, who was waving from a corner table, and propelled my reluctant buddy in his direction.
By the time we got there he seemed to have more or less resigned himself to his fate. He gave my cute, blond farmboy cousin a strained smile as I said, “Billy, meet Jeremy. Jeremy, Billy.”
Billy offered Jeremy his front right hand, looking him over with interest as he did so, and Jeremy took it and shook. Billy was smiling wide, and while it was true that this was usually the case for my buff, corn-fed, happy-go-lucky cousin, I got the distinct impression he liked what he saw. “Hi, Jeremy,” he said. “I didn’t know they made dress shirts with that many arms,” he added, with just a hint of growl in his voice.
“That many—?” Jeremy repeated blankly. He looked down at himself, then at me, his eyes bugging out. “Dude! It happened again!”
I glared at my eight-armed friend, running out of patience. “You’re telling me you just walked in here and, poof, you popped out more arms.”
“Yes!” he insisted. He turned to Billy. “Help me out here. You grew those two extra arms when you came in here, right?”
Billy have him a funny look, but of course the smile never went away. “Always had four arms, bro,” he said. He folded them all on the table in front of him as if to demonstrate. Even in the long-sleeved chocolate henley he was wearing it was obvious how well his farmwork had filled him out, and then some, in his shoulders, chest, and arms. “It’s a big help when you’re pushing heavy equipment around, lemme tell you,” he added coyly.
Jeremy gaped at him for a second, then turned to me, agitated. “Okay. Okay. I guess I must be the only one who remembers. But—”
I was done with this. He was coming very close to disrespecting my sweet, if not-so-innocent, cousin. “Sit.”
I gave him my fiercest look. “Sit!”
He sat, still looking like he might bolt at any minute. I didn’t get it. He’d never been this weird about his extras before. I hadn’t been planning to stay, but I decided to sit, too, with Jeremy on my left and Billy across from me. Maybe if I was right next to him, Jeremy’s behavior would improve.
In the evenings they had table service and grill-type sandwiches to foster an additional nonworkplace clientele, so a waiter was soon at our table to take our order. He was damn good-looking, like all the waiters here (hey, I may be straight but I’m not blind). Korean maybe, slim, decked out in black pants and a black tee with the Benny’s logo. Jeremy noticed with a start that he had three legs, though only a couple of arms. You’d think he’d have felt something in common with a fellow three-legged guy, but Jeremy was being squirrelly about that too.
Jeremy looked down at how own legs and murmured, “It’s happening faster this time…”
Ignoring Jeremy’s weirdness, the waiter gave us all a warm smile and asked, “Can I get your order?”
Billy raised his middle hand, wiggling all six fingers in a slightly flirtatious hello. “I’ll get a Benny’s Big Iced Latte and a grilled chicken sandwich,” he said happily.
I glanced at the little menu card that was mounted atop the salt and pepper caddy. “Actually, the grilled chicken sounds good,” I said, looking back up at the waiter. “With a large pomegranate iced tea, please.”
The waiter nodded and looked over at Jeremy, catching his breath as he got his first really good look at him.
He must really like extras guys, I thought. It wasn’t tough to see the appeal, even for me. I mean, both sets of Jeremy’s heavy, stacked pecs had a half dozen arms to work with. That’d make for a hell of a hug. The waiter must have agreed because he abruptly reached down and adjusted large and very obvious erections in both of his crotches.
“Sorry,” he said, looking very embarrassed. “Can I get you… anything?”
Billy was snickering at this, but Jeremy looked mortified. “Uh,” he stammered, staring up the waiter. “I’ll, uh, have the beef…”
The waiter gulped, and Jeremy added hastily, “…burger! The beef burger. Medium well, please, no mayo. And a Coke.”
The waiter addressed the table and said quickly, “I’ll get all of that right out to you.” Then he was gone so fast I half expected to see little Road-Runner-style dust clouds.
I turned back to Jeremy with a grin. “I think he likes you,” I teased.
“I know he likes you,” Billy chipped in. When Jeremy turned to him Billy added, “I kinda like you too.”
Jeremy stared, and though he still seemed confused for some reason he was also looking a little smitten himself. Maybe it was the way Billy’s front torso was doing all the talking, leaning forward on all six arms and smiling genially at us, while his back torso leaned back in his seat and eye-fucked Jeremy like they were at a disco and Billy was planning to dance-fuck him out on the floor. Billy had done that kind of two-message behavior when we were kids, I remembered, making faces in back while he stayed boyishly innocent and angelic up front. He even wore color-coded shirts most of the time, light up front and darker in back. Tonight it was matching henleys in milk chocolate and dark chocolate respectively, as if inviting you to indulge yourself in the checkout line and get both.
It was always an act, I knew that for certain. Here and now in particular, Billy’s wide smile in front and his smirk-licking, smoldering stare in back came across, to me at least, like two different kinds of salacious. It wouldn’t be long before they were screwing each other senseless, and I was suddenly very glad that Billy had scored his own place rather than bunking with me.
“Billy, be good…” I admonished.
Billy glanced at me, but only in front. “Now, Leo, don’t you think Jeremy here should know he’s appreciated?” Billy asked, not bothering to sound too innocent—though his big smile was still the kind of thing that automatically made you trust him. It also made you want to kiss him. Even I was feeling that.
One of Jeremy’s legs bumped me under the table. “Oh, sorry,” he said to me, looking my way briefly. “I, uh, suddenly have too many legs.”
Billy’s smiles widened. “Not from where I’m sitting, bro,” he said. I realized Billy had several arms under the table, probably feeling up the nearest of Jeremy’s lots-of-legs. Damn, Billy had gotten a lot bolder since he’d left home!
Speaking of which: “Jesus, Billy, put those away, will ya?” I said. I nodded to where his fat erection in back had already escaped the very damp collar of his henley, and the one of front was in imminent danger of doing the same.
“Sorry, cousin,” he said, and he did seem at least a little guilty on this point. At any rate, his lightly tanned cheeks were reddening slightly, though maybe that spoke more to his arousal than his chagrin. “When I get this turned on—” He looked back at Jeremy, his amber eyes alight with desire. “—they’re kinda tough to control.”
Jeremy was looking at Billy with a kind of awe. I noticed a couple of his seven-fingered hands were absently rubbing along his abs through his dress shirt, and one was even creeping up to the lowest tier of his ponderous, triple-stacked pecs. Maybe when you had that many hands you didn’t always know what all of them were doing.
I huffed—that sounded familiar. I glanced back over at Billy. Yep, both of his cocks in back and the three in front had completely escaped his shirts and were nuzzling his necks at the base, smearing his collarbones with pre like they had agendas of their own. Looked like my friend and my cousin had more in common than extras.
Jeremy swallowed. “M-maybe we should take this somewhere else,” he suggested faintly. “Before this all gets… out of hand.”
Billy was more than amenable, if his three brilliant grins were any indication. He was on his four feet almost before Jeremy had finished speaking, and a moment later he was towing a dazed Jeremy out the door by as many hands as he could grab.
Of course, almost the moment they were gone our waiter showed up with the food and drinks. He looked at me, a little bemused. I sighed. “Can I get all that to go, please?”
He nodded, offering me a commiserating smile, and I got up from both of my chairs and headed for the cashier to pay. Man, those extras guys were horny as fuck. I was glad having two bodies only made me appreciative of the fact that I always had someone to make out and cuddle with—even if it was just me.