“Any questions?” The doctor opposite me folded his hands.
I was thinking for a moment. It was a lot of information to take in. “How much control will I have?”
“Not a lot.” The doctor waved one of his hands. “Some have reported being able to move a few muscles, but never more than that. Most cannot move at all.”
“That’s gonna be a long five years then…” I replied.
“Not necessarily. You will experience time differently. Or, to be more precise, you will experience boredom differently. Some have likened it to a trance-like state, being somewhat aware of their surroundings, but still ‘zoned out’, so to speak, while the other person is going about their business.”
The other person… It was a bizarre concept for sure, letting someone else take control over my body. Letting someone else take control over my life. I was already pretty sure I’d want to undergo the procedure, but whenever I thought about this, I got second thoughts.
“What will he be like?” I asked.
The doctor smiled. “That is a very good question. Unfortunately, there is no way to know for sure. It is different for everyone.” He leaned back in his chair. “What we do know, however, is that in all cases, a sort of reversal happens where certain key traits of the person undergoing the procedure are turned on their head. An extrovert might get an introvert host. Someone favouring intellectual challenges might become part of a gym rat. It could also be physical changes. Big and hairy to slim and smooth. I have two clients whose body changed sex and the other person identified as the opposite gender. It is impossible to predict which trait will be reversed, but some will.”
He narrowed his eyes and studied my reaction. “You should think about the worst case scenario, your one trait you do not wish reversed and then think about whether that trait being flipped around would still be acceptable. And then you’ll know if this procedure is right for you.”
I was starting to think. What was my best feature that I absolutely did not want to go without? But the doctor pulled me out of my thoughts.
“You don’t need to do it now. Take your time. Go home. Think it over. Sleep it over. And if you decide you still want to do it, you just drop me a visit again. No need for an appointment either. Signing the paper takes less than five minutes. I do that between clients.”
“Works for me. There’s a few things I need to sort out anyway.” I put my hands on the chair’s arm rests to show I was ready to leave. “I guess I will be back in a few days then.”
I fished the package out of my bag and dropped it on the couch before I continued to get out of my street wear.
I just returned from the clinic, for the second time. After the initial talk a few days ago I went home and thought about what the doctor had said. There were a lot of cases I wouldn’t be happy with. What if he turned out to be irresponsible? Or just incompetent? Lazy? I couldn’t get everything I worked for go to ruin.
But then I thought about the alternative. Rejuvenation is just too sweet a deal to pass up, even if I’d have to deal with someone squandering all my achievements in the next five years. Plus, there were ways to mitigate potential problems. I had already locked away part of my fortune behind a deposit only I can access. There’s no way I would trust someone with my money, even if they are technically a part of me.
I sat down on the couch with a sigh. Everything seemed so tranquil. I spent the last few days preparing everything for the next five years. There was little to be done anymore, no more errands to run. The situation with work had been sorted out. I was going to take a five-year sabbatical. I didn’t even know if that workplace would still exist in five years, but hey, better that than nothing.
I looked down at the package next to me and picked it up. Turned out the procedure wasn’t going to happen in the clinic. Rather a nurse would prepare a small package with everything I needed to do it at home.
I opened the lid and looked at the contents. The first thing I noticed was a butt plug. The nurse told me that the transformation process may be uncomfortable at times but through stimulation of the affected area, this may be alleviated. I held the butt plug up and investigated it. It was rather cheap, featureless and made of white plastic. Functional.
I put the butt plug aside and picked up the card inside the box. It was a temporary ID for my host after we finished the transformation. He’d have to get back to the clinic and get a proper ID.
The last items where a small foil bag and a blister sheet with a single pill in it. I picked up the bag to see what it was. Ah, lube. For the butt plug. Of course. I tossed the bag aside. Not that I’m going to need it, anyway.
Last but not least I held up the blister sheet with the green pill inside. On the sheet were the purpose and instructions printed on it. The illustration made clear the pill was to be taken orally. Oh good. It wasn’t a suppository after all. How helpful.
Even though, I had to admit, a suppository wouldn’t have been all that weird, given it’d turn me into my own butt. It was the less popular of the two choices. Most people who undergo the rejuvenating procedure would go for being turned into their own genitals. I guess it was more dignified in their eyes than being turned into an ass. But I didn’t want to get used as a fuckstick to bang some chicks. That I found a lot more humiliating than being planted on the porcelain throne, especially since I wouldn’t have any taste buds in my transformed state anyway.
But well, let the others be used as a sex toy, while I will be sat on and left alone for the next five years. I got up and made my way to the kitchen where I put the blister sheet on the counter and poured me a glass of water. I pushed the pill out of the blister and held it up. Finally I would become what my ex-wife claimed I was anyway.
“Bottoms up.” I chuckled to myself before dropping the pill in my mouth and downing it with water.
I didn’t know what I expected. In fact, I expected nothing, but I was still disappointed. Not a thing happened, not even a tingling in either my mouth or my butt area. I didn’t even know it worked. Well, I’d find out tomorrow morning. I was told the transformations would happen while asleep and take three nights.
I continued going about my day, not that there was anything to do, so I just ended up watching TV and waiting for the time to pass.
It was somewhere in the early evening, when I got a call from work. One of my colleagues, the guy who would take over my work -technically already had- needed some information from me to finish a document for next week’s presentation. I gave it to him and offered to put the document together myself. He declined, but I insisted, claiming I was bored at home anyway, which wasn’t technically a lie, but honestly I felt more comfortable doing it myself. I’m sure he’ll do a good job, but I know the subject matter better.
With nothing else to do, I set to work on the document right away. I was about halfway done when I called it a day. I’d do the rest tomorrow.
After taking a shower and brushing my teeth I went to bed. I was curious what would change first. Apparently the transformation would be gradual and in a somewhat random order.
I woke up early, around the time I usually have set my alarm to, and checked my phone out of habit, before realizing I did not have to get up. I decided to do so anyway, now that I was awake.
I sat on the edge of the bed for a moment, feeling my butt under me. In a few days that will be me and my daily routine will be being sat one first thing in the morning.
I was turning into a butt. The changes must have started already. I looked myself down to take stock of myself. Hands and feet were still the same. I felt my neck, which also felt normal. Did the pill not work? As I pondered the possibilities, I noticed a certain… rigidity around my mouth and lips.
I got up and rushed to the bathroom. There in the mirror I finally saw the change.
Instead of a mouth, there was a small wrinkly hole below my nose and surrounded by my stubble.
I put a finger to the hole to make sure it was what I was thinking. Yeah, my mouth had turned into an asshole. Well shit, this was not what I expected. I thought the changes would start with the arms and legs. Then again, it wouldn’t make a difference anyway. It was just a surprise, really.
But wait, if my mouth was now my ass… I put a hand into my briefs down my crack. There I felt lips where normally my asshole would be.
“Oh, hello, good morning!” came a male voice from my nether regions. This must’ve been my ass talking, my future host. “How are you?”
I was still a bit too surprised by this sudden twist of events to reply. I expected to hear from my butt tomorrow at the earliest. My mouth being my asshole didn’t help formulating a response either.
“Not very talkative, huh. Oh wait, you probably can’t talk. I totally forgot about that,” my ass went on. “Thanks by the way for, uh, doing the thing? You know, turning into my butt. I will try to be a good host, don’t worry. Oh, does that mean I have to take over the eating part now? I wonder what that will be like. Do you have any plans what we’re gonna have today?”
He kept babbling and I realized that I already hated the guy. I made my way over to the couch and sat down if only to make him shut up. I heard some muffled words I weren’t able to make out, but it didn’t sound like protests.
Despite not having a mouth, at my usual place at least, I felt my stomach growl. I went into the kitchen to make me some toast when my ass piped up.
“Are we having breakfast? I’m feeling kinda hungry. Surely you do too, right?”
I looked into the fridge, debating what I should have. Since I wouldn’t be able to eat, myself, I’d have to find something that can be eaten easily in this new configuration.
“What do you think of toast? Or maybe some cornflakes? Man, I’d love to try out some cornflakes. What kind do you have? Do you have some that are sweet? Maybe those with marshmallows?”
I wished my ass would just shut up for a second. Almost made me regret all this. Almost.
“Or maybe something more savory? Like hawaii toast? Or bacon and eggs maybe.”
Fuck it, I couldn’t be arsed, heh, to make anything big right now. I grabbed two chocolate-filled croissants I kept for those moments when I was too lazy to make myself anything more elaborate. This would have to do, at least for now.
Eating with your mouth between your ass cheeks proved to be somewhat awkward. For the drinks I had to provide a straw. But it wasn’t like I was being watched, so I didn’t mind too terribly. My ass was first a bit disappointed I didn’t cook him some fancy five-course meal, but he quickly came around to enjoy the croissants.
With breakfast out of the way, I figured I might as well continue working on that document. I was able to ignore his blabbering on my way from the couch to my desk and sat down, silencing him once more.
I was close to finishing my work, cleaning up the text, when I suddenly got a call. I looked at the number, which I didn’t recognize, and answered.
Except I couldn’t say a thing. The person on the other end introduced herself as an agent of my wireless provider. Understandably, she was pretty confused by the lack of an answer. After some seconds she hang up.
I continued working and waited for her email, which came only a few minutes later. She said she couldn’t reach me and asked for a call-back. Unfortunately, it was one of those do-not-reply emails, so I couldn’t even ask her to solve it this way. Damnit.
But how could I even talk to her on a phone? Maybe I could activate some text-to-speech? That might actually make her think there’s something fishy going on.
I got up to walk around and think. As if on cue, I heard a now familiar voice behind me.
“Hey, who was that? Anyone I know? Was it our parents? Wait, you can’t speak. I keep forgetting. Sorry about that. That’s why you didn’t answer the call, right? I guess I should answer the phone calls from now on, haha.”
I froze. He was right. I couldn’t speak to people on phone anymore, but he could. Fuck my life, I’d have to rely on my ass for this. But then again I’d have to sooner or later anyway, so I might as well start now.
I let out a long sigh, or tried to at least. What came out was something else. This was definitely a thing that would take a while to get used to. Luckily for me neither my taste buds nor my sense of smell were still with me, so that was something at least.
Recovering from the surprise of my newly rerouted bodily functions, I fetched my tablet and phone, took off my pants and lay down on the couch on my belly. The tablet was at my foot end and propped up against the arm rest.
I had a chat program open on the tablet and sent a message from my phone, displaying it on the tablet’s screen. ‘Can you see?’
“Yeah.” Came the answer from my behind. “What are you trying to do?”
‘Hold up.’ I sent. I got up to fetch my laptop. I would need an additional device to make this work. Praise be to the 21st century and the ubiquity of wireless communication…
I lay back down again and sent a few more messages to the tablet. ‘My wireless provider called. I don’t know what’s the matter, but I am not able to talk to them. So you have to do that. I will send you what you should answer here.’
“Okay, got it. You just need me to talk to them. I can do that.”
‘Yes. Please keep to the script I’m sending you.’
‘Are you ready?’
I called the number and put the phone between my legs.
She introduced herself and asked for my name, which my butt was so kind to confirm.
“We noticed you sent us an email about ceding your contract to another person,” she began. “Unfortunately that is not possible for our contracts.”
Oh. A misunderstanding. Well, guess that’s easy to solve. I started sending messages to my tablet.
“I am not ceding the contract to another person.” My butt was reading off the device. “I am undergoing a medical procedure, which renders me unable to—”
The agent cut him off. “In case of a medical procedure, we can pause the contract for a time. If you can provide proof of your inability to make use of our service. But it is not possible to move the contract to another person.”
“It’s not really another person,” my butt continued. “It’s still me, in a way.”
“I am not following.”
“Have you heard of body reversal?”
There was a short break. “No, but sir, the contract is very clear on this—”
“I am turning into my own butt,” my ass explained. “My butt will then become the new host and take control. Contractually we are the same person. There is no moving the contract to another person happening.”
There was silence on the other end. If she had never heard of this procedure, she was possibly a bit shocked right now. Or maybe she had heard of it, but didn’t connect the dots until now. Either way I heard her typing, clearly looking it up.
Finally she spoke up again. “I see. In that case, there is a special regulation in place that would allow your future host to take over the contract,” she explained as if I was the one who didn’t know. But there was no point to be snarky.
“Do you want me to send you the papers again?” Okay, maybe some snark was acceptable.
“That is not necessary. I just looked up your file and the required papers are there. It looks like everything is in order. Just get in contact with us as soon as the transformation is complete so we can add your host into your system..”
“Will do.” My butt said, before I could send a message.
“All right, thank you for your time.” The agent said and hang up.
“Well, that went well,” my butt said. “Do we need to do more calls?”
“We could call your parents. Or maybe your colleague. You know, the one who took over your work. Or maybe some friends, give them an update on things.”
Ignoring my butt I got up and put on my pants again, resulting in a disappointed sound from behind me. But there was still some work to be done.
I sat back at my desk and finished the document. I felt something uncomfortable in my mouth region, well, former mouth region. Nothing painful, just awkwardness, like an arm that is in the way of sleeping. I ignored it though and sent the document away. A few minutes later I received the confirmation and thanks from my colleague via email.
Being done for the day, and indeed the next five years, I made some dinner and watched TV as I was feeding my ass. As time went on the feeling in and around my ‘mouth’ got worse and worse. At first it was mildly distracting, but by the time we were finished with dinner, it got too much, like an uncomfortable weight that would pull down my entire head.
I was thinking what could have caused this and how to mitigate it. I debated using a bag of ice to cool it down, but it didn’t hurt and wasn’t swollen.
As I contemplated calling the clinic it hit me: The nurse mentioned the discomfort. This was the reason for the butt plug.
I looked over to the butt plug on the other end of the couch. I grabbed it and held it up to my face, bracing myself for-
Wait, I needed lube. Oh shit where did I leave the lube? I searched the couch, then the floor and finally my desk. I had misplaced my lube, having thought I would not need it.
I was frantically looking everywhere, even under the carpet for that packet of lube. Finally I found it deep in one of the couches grooves. I held it up as some sort of treasure and wasted no time opening it.
I stopped, pondering whether I was supposed to lather my hole or the plug. I decided to do both. Eventually, I was ready and held the plug in front of my face.
Oh god, what was I doing with my life?
Right, removing five years from it to keep my youth. That made everything worth it.
I slid the butt plug inside, expecting it to hurt the first time, but it was small and well-lubed enough to cause no pain. I felt my mouth-hole clenching around the plug and the discomfort was washed away as I lost myself in momentary bliss.
I realized only seconds later that I was moaning. I wasn’t gay, but this was still somewhat enjoyable. I guessed the prostate doesn’t care about sexual orientation. Speaking of which, I brought a hand to my throat and felt where my head connected to my neck. There was definitely a mound where there shouldn’t be one, right above the adam’s apple. Looks like the prostate moved last night with the asshole.
I decided to keep the plug in, like some sort of perverse pacifier. After two hours I had to take it out, when I needed to take a dump, which was an experience all by itself. I first thought about putting it back in, but the discomfort had disappeared, so I left it out for the time being.
Eventually I made my way to bed and fell asleep, but not before having the strangest tooth-brushing session in my life.
I woke up slowly to the morning rays. Stretching myself, I tried rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.
Something felt wrong. My eyes shot open and I stared at a pair of feet. It took me a second to realize what happened. Of course! The next stage of the transformation. I calmed down enough to fall back in bed. The shock had woken me up though, so I sat up after a few more minutes.
I looked down my legs. Apart from the feet, they were also different in terms of proportions. Somehow thinner. I put up my arms and noticed that my shoulders and upper arms were thicker than they used to. At first I thought I had gained muscle, but it was just that my arms had turned half way into legs and vice versa.
I got up carefully, trying to put my weight on my legs, which were now my arms. Sheesh, this was getting confusing. I walked over to the bathroom to check for further changes and to brush my butt’s teeth.
When I arrived I got another shock. I really shouldn’t be so surprised, but for some reason seeing any new change was different than knowing it will happen.
I didn’t have a face anymore. Instead there was nothing but smooth skin and, of course, an asshole where my mouth used to be. I tried puckering my ass and sure enough I saw my hole wink back at me. I brought one of my feet to my face, feeling over my smooth face while watching the foot in the mirror. I could still see despite having no eyes. Everything about this was pretty surreal.
The moment was destroyed by the annoying voice from behind.
“Hey, I… I think I have a nose now.” I felt him trying to wiggle his nose back and forth in my briefs. “And eyes too I think. I can blink.”
I pulled down my briefs and brought a hand mirror down to his level. I noticed that his face was vaguely like mine. I suppose in a pinch he could pass as me, unless some physical changes will manifest only in a later stage.
“Well, hello there, handsome!” He winked at his own reflection. I rolled my eyes and snapped my briefs back up, only to remember I’d have to brush his teeth.
I should probably also stop sighing until I am back to human in five years.
The day went by relatively uneventfully. I used the buttplug once more, as the discomfort returned in the early afternoon. I cleaned it afterwards, which was easier said than done, if your hands are feet, and left it in the bathroom.
I made my way back to the living room to watch some TV. Due to the clumsiness of my feet-hands, I accidentally pushed the remote off the armrest. I got up and took half a step around the couch to pick it up. I bent down, grabbed it and stood back up.
Except my vision didn’t change. It took me a moment to parse that I subconsciously grabbed the remote with my hands at the end of my legs and stood up on my arms. My neck arched all the way back, so that I was looking out where I would be later on when I was a butt.
I was understandably startled at my subconscious behaviour, but what was even stranger was that it didn’t feel wrong. I hesitated to go back to my regular position. In fact, I wanted to try this out. It felt… right.
I walked around in my room, both backwards and forwards. My ass noticed his higher position and commented on it, but I tried to ignore him as best as I could.
Eventually I went back to the couch and carefully tried to sit down. It worked, my arms even bent the correct way to do so. The only problem was that my face was buried in the seat, so I couldn’t watch TV like this.
I didn’t really want to sit upright. The current position was comfortable. In the end I compromised by lying down on the couch. This way I had the best of both worlds.
My ass complained about not being able to see, but I shut him up by slapping my cheeks. He would be able to watch as much TV as he wanted in the next five years.
I continued to watch, have dinner and go back to TV afterwards until late in the evening, when I decided it was time to go to bed.
After brushing my teeth upside-down, I approached my bed and sat down, burying my face in the sheets. Tomorrow I would be all butt and my new life would begin. I laid down and as I drifted off to sleep, I noticed I had laid down with my legs at the head end, my butt resting on the pillow.
Oh well, I supposed that makes the transformation during the night easier.
I woke up to movement. Walking to be precise. As I opened my eyes I noticed that I was in the bathroom. Apparently butts can be asleep separate from their owners. That explained how my ass only started talking when I was already in the bathroom.
I tried to figure out if the transformation was complete. I had no control over the rest of my body. The only things I could do was pucker my hole and flex my cheeks. It was now that I realized I didn’t actually open my eyes before, since I didn’t have any. I just… activated my vision or whatever.
“Oh good morning, sleeping beauty!” My host must have noticed my movements. “Had a good night’s rest? I’ll just assume you did.” There was an uncharacteristically long break from him. “I hope you’re feeling good. This is going to be a fun five years for me, and I hope I can make them fun for you as well.” Somehow my host sounded less bubbly than the days before. He came across as a bit more mature, slower and more deliberate in his speech. Maybe the excitement of becoming human from the first days had faded a bit and he was not quite as annoying normally.
A man can hope, even if he is just a butt.
The day started with a delicious sounding breakfast. I couldn’t smell, thank god, and I was buried in his pants, but I heard him cooking. I was almost jealous, but there was something calming about not having to do anything and just being carried around by my host.
Following breakfast, my host sat down on the PC. He didn’t say a lot, but he mentioned looking for a job and checking out the local dating scene.
Dating? Well that was going to be interesting. I wondered if he would tell his future girlfriend about me, or if I was going to be kept secret. This made me wonder how marriage, should it ever come to this, would be handled.
But, well, this was not something I needed to concern myself with. Even if I did have an opinion on it, I couldn’t tell him or change it. I was just along for the ride for now. Enjoying not having to do chores. Enjoying being carried around. Enjoying being sat on.
Fuck, being sat on really was pleasant, like burying yourself into a pillow, except in reverse? At any rate, I felt like I made the right choice. Being an ass was much better than being a dick… Than I’d imagine what it would be like being a dick, at least.
It was late morning when I got a call. Of course, it wasn’t my call anymore, but still. Whoever called this phone likely wanted to talk to me. I was a little worried that something was wrong and I couldn’t fix it anymore.
My host answered the phone explaining who he was, but didn’t put the phone to loudspeakers. As a result it was difficult for me to piece together the reason for the call. After a few minutes, I figured out that it was my bank calling. There was a problem with the account I had set up only I could access.
Now I was panicking. This wasn’t anything my host could solve. He didn’t know anything about it. It wasn’t even his money. He had no reason to care about this. Oh shit, I didn’t know what they’d do now. Would they just move it back to my normal account, freeze it entirely?
It was even worse, because I didn’t know what exactly the problem was in the first place. I only heard half of the conversation, which was not enough to make out the details.
I heard my host talk to the other person, trying to get as many details as he could. Fuck, was he trying to get access to my account?
Eventually he asked for some documents from the other person. I think they had something to do with the contract. Or maybe the ownership. I wasn’t sure.
My host and the person discussed this issue for quite some time. I began picking up what the issue was. From what I understood, the bank wanted to roll the account back into the main account my host could access, because the deposit would otherwise be frozen for five years as I would not exist as a person of agency. Of course the bank couldn’t really do much with frozen money, so they wanted to get rid of that.
I held my breath, or would if I still had to breathe, as I waited for my host’s answer. I heard him humming, likely going through the document the employee sent him.
“Here, §223, (2) reads that the state of agency is only checked when creating the deposit, and that the access details cannot be changed without explicit consent of the owner or their current host, even if their state of agency changes due to procedures such as Body Reversal.”
There was a short break.
“No, I don’t. This isn’t my deposit. It’s my former host’s.”
“Yes, I know I could theoretically do that, but I don’t want to. It’s not mine.”
Apparently the bank employee tried to appeal to his greed to override my authority and roll back the deposit into my main account.
“Yes, thank you. Sure, I will call you if the situation changes. Have a nice day, as well.” My host ended the call with a disapproving huff.
“Don’t worry, mate.” He returned his attention to me. “Your deposit is safe from those sharks.”
I was speechless, figuratively speaking. Not only did he solve the issue by actually combing through the contract’s legalese, he also declined an opportunity to get a quick grab of my money.
My host was smart, competent and… fair. I suddenly felt bad for how I perceived him the few days before. Maybe these next five years won’t be as annoying as I thought.
My host pulled me out of my introspection session.
“Oh by the way, I’m going to have a date tomorrow. Gosh, I can’t believe I’m actually going on a date, rather than just being dragged along, you know.”
Ah there was the bubbly excitement again, but this time it didn’t feel annoying. I was happy for him. I wondered what his taste in women was.
“Should we go to the cinema? Maybe the zoo? Man, I wish you could—actually, let me show you.”
He got up and pulled down his pants, exposing me to the outside world. A second later I saw a phone entering my vision. On the screen was a guy displayed, smiling at the camera.
“Gosh, he’s so cute. And he’s a top too. I think you’ll like him.”
Wait. He? My fucking ass was gay?
And a bottom?!