Dragon's Horde: Drunken chat

One day in the Metabod Fan chat group:

»»» Make room! ThatGuyOverThere has entered the server!

»»» ThatGuyOverThere has joined #nsfw-supportgroup

ThatGuyOverThere: Um… hi…

RedTheThriceLong: Hey! Welcome!

SqueakyDrider: Oh hi! Don’t be afraid.

MultiDurg: Come on in! We’re here to answer questions.

ThatGuyOverThere: Thanks… um, I got a personal question…

MultiDurg: You’re in the right place. No need to hide stuff in innuendo. What you mention here stays here.

ThatGuyOverThere: Okay… um… I just turned 21…

RedTheThriceLong: Happy birthday!

SqueakyDrider: Turning of age. Getting out, trying your first beer…

ThatGuyOverThere: Yeah, I had my first one. Went to the Dragon’s Horde.

MultiDurg: I think I know where this is going…

ThatGuyOverThere: Friends of mine treated me out, and I got really hammered. This one dude, dunno his name… big beefy six armed fox dude. Think he had more under the bar but… he must’ve served me something.

RedTheThriceLong: The one off of Main Street?

ThatGuyOverThere: Yeah, big place. Has doors in doors?

RedTheThriceLong: That’s my usual, and a few of the regulars in the chat’s usual bar as well.

RedTheThriceLong: The barkeep’s name is Todd. He took over for Dan, a dragon.

SqueakyDrider: What happened to Dan?

MultiDurg: Got his medical degree and is interning at City General Hospital. Stay on topic, folks. Keep going, @ThatGuyOverThere.

ThatGuyOverThere: Yeah, woke up this morning and… man, my junk. My balls just hang down heavy like watermelons and my shafts… I mean… how do you piss while you shit with this huge junk?

RedTheThriceLong: You gotta hang your balls off to one side, over your leg. Then carefully loop your junk back to your crotch and into the toilet. When you’re done shitting, carefully stand up, holding your cock over the toilet, until you’re fully drained. You may have to manhandle it to get it empty, depending on how thick your cock is.

ThatGuyOverThere: Really? I’m kinda surprised you know…

RedTheThriceLong: Yeah, it took a while to figure out. Beachball sized balls hanging to my paws, six of ‘em in my ballsac and three thick cocks that compete for who’d make landfall.

ThatGuyOverThere: Whoa… Um… mind if I ask…

RedTheThriceLong: I get asked all the time. Go ahead.

ThatGuyOverThere: Do you ever get stiff?

RedTheThriceLong: Oh constantly. My mate’s a looker and I… hold on…

RedTheThriceLong: Sorry, I actually took a look and had to grab the laptop after unzipping to continue. Didn’t want to rip my jeans again.

ThatGuyOverThere: Man, and I thought having four arms was bad enough… or even two heads.

CoiledOtt: Hey folks, just got back about mid-way through the chat here. Didn’t want to interrupt then. Welcome @ThatGuyOverThere.

ThatGuyOverThere: Thanks.

CoiledOtt: Double what Red said above. If you got huge junk, keep yourself clean and don’t dip it in the toilet. You’ll get shit all over your balls and almost everyone doesn’t like that. You’ll smell like shit too.

RedTheThriceLong: Agreed. Keep your junk out. Even wipe it down every so often with those bath wipes.

CoiledOtt: Just don’t flush them down the toilet. Gawd, I got back from a drain clearing job from a hotel. Whole bunch of hypersized young men filling it up for a convention. Had to go up each floor and blast out the damned wipes clogging the pipes. Messy job.

ThatGuyOverThere: So the squat toilet across from the regular toilet in some places…?

MultiDurg: Dude, those are great if you’re long enough to reach it with your cock while sitting down on the regular john. I got to use ‘em myself because of my hosecock.

SqueakyDrider: I gotta use ‘em because of my lower half.

ThatGuyOverThere: Man… that’s been some help. Now I gotta find out a way to fit into my old jeans…

RedTheThriceLong: I’ll PM you a number to call. You’re going to need new jeans but that number is to a place I know that’ll tailor you good looking jeans that’ll hold you nicely.

CoiledOtt: Just wish there was some class or something to train these kids.

ThatGuyOverThere: I could use a class like that.

SqueakyDrider: Heh, I’m holding another convention for hypers in a few months. I’ll have my staff slot in a few classes on handling yourself.

MultiDurg: That’ll be awesome. Like “You’re young, hung, and hot, what do you do?” and “Keeping decent among non-hypers?”

RedTheThriceLong: I’ll panel that last one, for sure!

CoiledOtt: Yeah, I think the hotel the last job was in is going to refuse that convention next year.

ThatGuyOverThere: Hell, I’ll attend if the classes are there. Where will it be at?

SqueakyDrider: I’ll DM you the web site.

RedTheThriceLong: Shit!

MultiDurg: Red? You okay?

RedTheThriceLong: shitshitshitshitshitshitowowowowowowowow

RedTheThriceLong: Damn… shit… ripped my jeans… just finished off the small growler from the Dragon’s Horde. Todd must’ve spiked it. I just grew a third leg.

ThatGuyOverThere: Whoa, wait, a third actual leg?

RedTheThriceLong: Yeah. Now I got double my triple junk, one set per crotch. Shit… guys at work are going to love me…

MultiDurg: Don’t they already since you’re their head designer? ;)

RedTheThriceLong: Oh shuddup.

ThatGuyOverThere: Man, how does one move with three legs?

RedTheThriceLong: I’m about to find out…

CoiledOtt: You know how you step with two. Left-right-left-right. Now do left-middle-right-left-middle-right. You’ll move your next leg quicker than you would since you’re now a tripod, and you’ll swing a bit more once you get the hang of it.

CoiledOtt: And before you ask, my mate’s a nine-limbed cerberus. I like to coil around him in bed, literally.

RedTheThriceLong: Dude, get him on the chat. Would love to get some pointers.

CoiledOtt: He wants to do a class on it, since he’s got his heads on my shoulders and head.

SqueakyDrider: I’ll add it in. I’ll DM you the info, everyone.

CoiledOtt: Thanks.

ThatGuyOverThere: Damn… Makes me want to change my alias here…

MultiDurg: If you feel like it’s appropriate, do it.

»»» ThatGuyOverThere is now RabbitRabbit

RabbitRabbit: I feel so much better.

MultiDurg: Oh so you’re the one that ordered the carrot cake! I work at the Dragon’s Horde. I’m their head chef, all three of me.

RabbitRabbit: Man, I don’t remember how good it was. I think I’ll have to come again and try it again.

MultiDurg: I got to get going, bar will open in two hours and we got prep work to do.

RedTheThriceLong: Let’s continue this over at the bar.

CoiledOtt: I could use a beer. Just not spiked.

SqueakyDrider: Tell them not to spike it, they’ll get the message.

RabbitRabbit: Okay, catcha over there.

RedTheThriceLong: I love unconferences at the Dragon’s Horde…