Welcum to Hell

by Alex Anders

 The forces of Hell welcome their newest recruit.

Added: Oct 2022 Updated: 12 Nov 2022 8,703 words 3,061 views 4.8 stars (5 votes)

I

I awoke slowly. The first thing I noticed was the soft, cool mattress beneath me and the pleasantly warm air swirling around me. I was still clothed, thank god, but I had a feeling that wouldn’t be the case for long.

The next thing I noticed was the smell. Not a bad smell, rather pleasant in fact. Dry stone, a few herbs and spices I couldn’t quite place—sage and saffron maybe?—and an undertone of musk. The musk in particular was slightly off. Not in a bad way, just in a I’m-not-sure-who-it-is way.

That’s when I noticed the slight shuffling sounds, as if whoever else was in the room had noticed my stirrings and was standing up. “Oh good, you’re awake,” a slightly gravelly baritone said. “I was worried our collection method had killed you.”

That’s when I remembered how I got here. Well, not here exactly, but here nonetheless. I was walking through the park, alone, when the ground opened up and swallowed me whole, leaving me free-falling through blank darkness for what felt like hours. It was so boring, I had fallen asleep.

But now I was awake. I opened my eyes and took in my surroundings. It was well lit by a good-sized fire in a brass brazier in the center of the room. Beneath me was the mattress with a fine silken sheet over it. To my left was a mirror; I appeared to still be wearing the clothes I was “collected” in—another good sign—but they felt itchy and constricting.

And across from me, on the other side of the fire, stood the owner of the baritone voice. He was tall. And red. And had claws and horns and a long prehensile tail growing from his crotch.

I startled at the sight.

“Hey now,” the demon reassured me, “If I was gonna hurt you, I would have started in by now. You’re safe. Well, as safe as you wanna be.”

I swallowed. “Why am I here?”

“I’m sure you are aware of a certain all-powerful deity?”

“I thought that was a myth!”

“Don’t let him hear you say that!” the demon laughed. “But the point is, he’s gotten sick and tired of all the atheism and usury and sodomy and what-not going on and, after centuries of lobbying, he’s finally allowed us to collect living souls!”

I blinked in disbelief. “I’m sorry, are you telling me the conservative evangelical doomsday young earthers are right?”

“Not about the young earth thing,” the demon said. “That’s just propaganda the man upstairs wants you to believe. Makes him seem bigger and better than he really is. But about all the ‘family values’ stuff? You bet!”

I ran my hands through my hair in anger and disgust and a whole slew of other emotions I didn’t want to process. It seemed to be getting hotter, and my shirt was beginning to stick to me. It was very distracting. “I need to process this,” I declared.

“Make yourself comfortable,” the demon offered. “You know I don’t care.”

I looked over my captor properly this time, and noticed that the tail from his crotch was actually a long, sinuous, delectable cock! I licked my lips. I desperately wanted that cock inside me. “Just so we’re clear,” I said, “you and I are going to fuck, right?”

“That’s the idea,” the demon said, “but only if you want to.”

“Why?”

“Why are we fucking or why do I need your consent?”

“Both I guess.” I took off my shirt. It really was getting too warm.

“Well, you see, the defining feature of Hell is that God ain’t here. He doesn’t come here, he doesn’t look in, we are completely unsupervised down here! And so, we can get up to all manner of deviancy. The intent was that we would consume each other and make a big old demon for him to fight at the end of days. And for the first few million years of our existence, that’s exactly what we did. But a few centuries ago, around the time of Dante, we discovered something: the human soul is not a physical object.”

“What?”

“The human soul does not obey the laws of the universe! So long as its power is freely given, it does not diminish! Ever since, we’ve been juicing each other up to give the old man a real run for his money, and just last week, he gave us permission to collect the living!”

“I see,” I said, dumbfounded. I wiped my brow and my chest with my discarded shirt. It was getting really warm in here, and I had a feeling it wouldn’t start to feel cooler until I was buck naked. “Why?”

“Probably to speed up his apocalypse plans, but we have our own and we are confident we will win.”

“No I mean—ah, never mind, you answered it anyway.” I wiped my brow and chest again. “What happens if I say no?”

“You wake up thinking this whole thing was a dream. There will be judicious edits to your memories to make sure the big G doesn’t find out about things, but that’s about it.”

I licked my lips and took in the swaying, sensuous demon in front of me. He was tall, about seven feet at least, and he appeared to be standing on his tiptoes—although his feet were abnormally long, so maybe that was just how they worked. His fingers and toes each ended with a large, barbed claw instead of a fingertip, and his grin showed off pearly white fangs. His skin was red and hairless and shimmered with iridescence that on closer inspection turned out to be small scales where his hair should be. His face was properly furred though, with a proper beard and a thick head of hair covering his scalp and warming two great big rams horns growing from his forehead.

And his cock! Long and sensuous and sinewy and reaching all the way to the floor. The head seemed oddly sharp, like the barbed claw on the end of each of his fingers. I licked my lips again. “So what happens if we fuck?”

“You turn into a demon as I juice you full of power,” he said. “I can guide you through the transformation if you want me to, but other than a few must-haves, the choice is yours. So what do you say?” He looked down at my crotch where I had been absently rubbing my cock through my tight, sweat damp, constricting jeans for I-don’t-know how long.

Man, these demons sure knew how to pick ’em. Recently broken up with my boyfriend of two years for some floozy. Just got fired from my dream job for an honest mistake. About to get evicted for failure to pay rent and dreading moving back in with my parents. My very conservative parents, I might add, who never approved of my ‘lifestyle choices’. Sure, I could go back to my old life. But did I want to? And with the apocalypse apparently nigh….

I tore off my pants. “Gimme that cock,” I demanded.

The demon grinned wide and hungry and leapt over the blazing fire to feed me his amazing cock.


“So am I a demon yet?” I asked. I’d sucked off the demon for what felt like hours but was probably only minutes, and it didn’t feel like anything had changed.

“Nah, we’re just lubing me up. To make the magic happen, this bad boy’s gotta go all the way up your ass.”

“Well, that certainly seems like an inviting prospect!” I said. “C’mon, I want that cock. I need that cock!”

“Don’t I know it!” he said. “Just remember, once I’m in, I can’t come out till it’s over. I’m sure you’ve noticed how sharp my glans is; I don’t want to kill you from the inside after all this trouble.”

I pleaded one more time for him to penetrate me already, and in he slid, like a hot knife through butter. “Oh go—, er hell!”

“Nice catch,” he said. “Now, first order of business is to toughen you up, inside and out. May I?”

“Yes, please, I want the rest of that dick in me yesterday!”

And then he started cumming. Or at least, that’s what it felt like for the first few seconds. It quickly became apparent that the hot fluid pouring out his cock was no ordinary cum. It was searingly hot, but not in a third-degree-burns-all-up-my-ass kinda way. More like a set-my-very-soul-on-fire kinda way, and god it felt good! My body drank up all this raw power and I could feel my asshole hardening up, ready to take whatever came its way. Then he plunged deeper, spearing through my inner hole as my ass swallowed more of his fantastic cock.

He leaned in to get a better vantage point and whispered in my ear, “Tell me, sweetheart, what’s your favorite color?”

“Well,” I stammered, barely able to focus, “I’ve always—ah—been partial to purple. The violet shades, with a bit more blue in them, not the magenta ones. Why?”

“Well, I just figured you’d like a bit more color in your life, now that you’re gonna be naked all the time.” The demon jerked me over to face the mirror. “At least, I hope.”

As the demon slid his cock deeper and deeper into me, I watched as my skin turned purple, a violet wave spreading from my ass. My body hair also retreated, flattening into a dusting of fine iridescent scales where my pubes and pits and the faintest trace over my chest were. I licked my lips as it reached my neck and my face turned a royal violet. I could feel the raw power my fuckmate was juicing me with bubbling away under the surface. A wild thought bubbled up with it, and with a short, sharp laugh, my hair turned into a riotous, iridescent, rainbow.

“Ooh, me likey,” the demon cooed. “I might have to try that. In any case, the reins are yours. Make yourself whatever you want to be!”

Unlimited power? Don’t mind if I do! I started earnestly sucking his cock with my ass, milking him for all he was worth—which, so long as he gave his consent, was apparently infinite—and watched eagerly as my body changed.

My arms and legs and torso stretched out as I grew as tall as my demon. My feet stretched out too, as I took a permanent digitigrade stance. My fingertips and toes hardened into sharp, barbed claws, while my teeth became ferocious, pearly white fangs. My beard grew in, just as rainbow riotous as the hair on my head, and then came the horns. Smaller and straighter than my model’s—I wasn’t sure if I wanted to but heads with anyone just yet. I did sharpen up my ears into elfin points though; all the better to hear you with!

And last, but by no means anywhere near least, my cock. I hardened its glans into an eleventh claw, then watched it grow, and grow, and grow! Long, and strong, and sinuous. It wasn’t long before the new appendage was long enough to reach my eager, thirsty mouth and I obliged it accordingly. It was even shorter before it started blasting, filling my mouth with hot load after delicious hot load.

“Mmm, yeah,” the demon said, watching eagerly as I defiled myself. “That is so hot! Let me tell you, that never gets old!”

I mumbled an acknowledgement. Really more of an attempt at “glad to hear it”, but my mouth was full.

“Anything else?” he asked.

It suddenly occurred to me that: yes, there was! I grabbed hold of his ass and shoved him deeper into me; he said something along the lines of “easy, tiger” but I just kept milking him as I filled out my form with thick muscle. I spat out my cock, now spraying into the open air, as I let my hams and quads and glutes and abs and lats and pecs and delts and bis and tris and all the rest swell up with power. I made everything taller and longer too, almost half again bigger than my demon. And all the while, my hair and beard grew thicker, my skin grew shinier and my voice grew deeper and deeper. No more was I the scrawny little thing my boyfriend dumped and my bullies beat. I was an alpha demon!

I was panting by the time I was sated, but I wasn’t done yet. I pulled off my demon and turned us around. “All right, sweetheart,” I growled. “I think it’s time I returned the favor, don’t you?”

He licked his lips in eager anticipation.


We flipped several times after that, and each time the bottom got half again as big as the top—at least. I wasn’t sure how big the cavern was, but by the end of it we had no choice but to sit around the fire, our legs straddling it.

I picked up my shirt, it was barely big enough to fit over my hand! “Man, I’m huge!” I boomed. “Do you think we got carried away?”

“No such thing,” the demon reassured me. “But if you feel the need to be smaller, you can shrink down to however small you want to be—although it might take a bit of practice. In fact, the only thing you have no control over is your maximum size. That’s a function of raw power.”

“And therefore how much demon cock I take.”

“Now you’re gettin’ it!”

“But other than size and color and …pointiness,” I flexed my claws for effect, “what else can I change?”

“Who says you have to limit yourself to the basic body plan?” he said. And then his chest started growing taller, his pecs doubled, and out sprouted two extra arms, right beneath his originals. “I can do legs too, if you want.”

“Yes, please!” I practically begged.

He grinned ferociously as his ass widened and grew a new cheek in the middle, which in turn sprouted a whole new leg. His new foot was as long and slender as the others, but bore seven toes, the big one in the middle. And then there was the extra cock—of course there was the extra cock!—which together with the original straddled his new leg.

“Ah, much better,” he sighed. “I find I can usually get better results if I pare down, but it’s always a treat to get back into my proper form. Hold on…” He scrubbed his hands over his face and revealed his true one. Three eyes with the middle one slightly above the other two, a nose with two bridges and three nostrils, and two mouths, one atop the other. He also took the opportunity to change his hair color to a riotous rainbow; I had a feeling I’d created a trend. With his face proper done, he tweaked his ears into two pairs—again, one atop the other.

“That’s… a look,” I said. “Not a bad one, an interesting one.”

He grinned with both mouths. “They all are,” he promised. “Just wait till you meet the rest of us.”

“How many of us are there?” I asked.

“Millions!” He said. “Not as many as there could be, mind you, but plenty. Very few souls go to heaven these days—part of why God’s getting so frantic. And we’ve been juicing each other up since the Middle Ages, so our numbers have only been increasing since. And good on you for catching on so quick. Usually it takes a few days for a sinner to count himself a demon.”

“Yeah, well, I made an active decision,” I said. “Not that I had much of a choice.”

The temperature dropped a few degrees, probably because of how I killed the mood.

The other demon noticed. “Hey, look, it’s all right. We wouldn’t have picked you if we weren’t confident you would have said yes.”

“You didn’t have anything to do with that floozy, did you?”

“Hell no!” he said, practically shouted. “We can’t operate like that. Your ex picked up that floozy and cheated on you all on his own.”

“He what!?”

A small “oops” was my fuckmate’s only reply.

“I can’t believe it! How long?” I demanded.

“Three months. But they flirted for a year.”

“I am going to kill him!”

“You do realize that he’s guaranteed to come down here if you do that, right?”

“Which will make it that much easier for me to do what I really want with him!”

“C’mon, bud, no, we’ve put that sort of thinking behind us centuries ago. Besides, it’s better if we get him down here alive.”

That reminded me. “Why do you need living souls?”

“Because according to the deal we’ve worked out, the living we capture can be returned. The point is to whip you lot into shape. We never said what shape we’d be whipping you into.”

“I see,” I said. “So how did you learn enough to find me?”

“Dreams,” he said. “When a person sleeps, their soul starts wandering the dream realm, the liminal space between life and death. We, being demons, can venture into the dream realm at will. We’d been keeping an eye on you for the past several years now, which is how we knew you’d be the best first pick.”

“But you said it had been a week since you got the go-ahead?” I asked.

“That’s how long it takes to get here from there.”

“Ah. Is that how long it’s gonna take me to get back?”

“Longer actually. Going down is always faster than going up.”

“Of course. And once I’ve been put in place as a sleeper agent?”

“Clever boy,” my demon said. “It’ll be that much easier for you to keep tabs on our potential recruits. Make sure they’re suitable, keep them from doing anything actually heinous—like rape and murder—tell us where they’ll be so we can capture and convert them. And the best part is, you’ll be on that side of the dream barrier, so you can do things we can’t!”

“Such as?”

“Actually transfer soul power, for one. Although I’d advise against it.”

“Gotta keep the sky wizard in the dark?”

“Natch,” he replied. “And that’s a good one.”

“Anything else?”

“You’ll be much better at temptation than we can ever hope to be. Your suggestions will bear a lot more weight, and you can actually be the floozy!” His humor suddenly shifted. “Uh, if that’s how you roll.”

I frowned. “Just tell me what I have to do before I’m ready to return.”

“Well, the first step is to meet the fam.”

‘The fam’ was amazing. In addition to the behemoth who collected and converted me, there was a deceptively small imp who was all arms—eight of them, in fact—a demon whose cock and balls were on his face and whose mouth and nose were on his crotch, a cocktopus with eight long cocks supporting a head and nothing else, what seemed to be a puddle of living cum, and a giant dick with a human—well, demon—head for a glans.

All of them had horns and fangs and claws (those that had heads or mouths or hands to wear them) and all of them were vibrantly colored. The behemoth and the imp were both red, the face-cock crotch-mouth was green, the cocktopus was orange and the giant dick was black. The ooze, of course, was white.

The imp, who had climbed up onto the behemoth’s upper right shoulder, was the first to speak up. “A little boring, but he’s a newbie. How was he?”

“Voracious,” the behemoth answered. “For both sex and knowledge.”

“You’ll fit right in,” the cocktopus said, clambering around me to get a better look at all the goods. “See anything you like?”

“Well, I can’t say no to that big black dick over there,” I said.

The whole group laughed.

“Wanna go for a ride?” the giant dick said.

“Yes please!”

But before I could stuff my ass with demon cock, another demon showed up. He was small—bigger than the imp, but not by much—and he also had normal human coloring; he looked to have been some sort of Mediterranean in life. His hair was a vibrant, iridescent black and he wore a long, shimmering blue tunic that covered his entire form, which was strange considering all the nudity. Especially since his standard issue demon cock was peeking out from the bottom hem. His claws and horns, which stood up straight from his scalp like the prongs of a cattle prod, were as blue as his tunic.

“As fun as that would be,” the twinky little thing said, “we have work to do. Raw power is nothing without the proper training.”

“Sorry sir,” the others said, and retreated.

“Hello, young man,” the newcomer said. “I am Twinkubus, and I will be your teacher. The demons around you are my family, all former students. Now, I know you have a monogamous bent, so let me just say up front that this is a polycule, and an open one at that. My men can fuck whomever they choose, so long as they tell me about it or they are a member of the polycule. Currently, you have a probationary position among us, and when your training is over you may freely choose to stay in or leave. Does this sound reasonable?”

“Thank you for being honest,” I said. “And yes, it sounds wonderful.”

“Excellent!” Twinkubus said. “Let’s begin!” And then his tunic unfurled and turned into a huge pair of demonic wings, leaving the boss twink himself completely nude.

“You know, I was wondering,” I commented.

“They all do,” he said, smiling wickedly. “Now, first matter of business, no matter what Hemoth said, fucking is not the only way to transfer power. It’s just his preferred method. All that is required is physical contact between the two souls.” He flapped his huge wings and was suddenly hanging off my neck. “For instance, a kiss will suffice.”

We kissed, his long snakelike tongue fondling my own still human tongue. It was burning with passion and power, and how could I do anything but accept? I also returned the favor, because that was the gentledemonly thing to do.

When he broke the kiss after several long, steamy minutes, he observed that I was “a quick study” and would “fit in nicely”.


After Twinkubus’s first lessons—no, I’m not gonna tell you what I learned, a demon needs some mystery about him—I was passed around the fam.

The first to get his eight little red hands on me was Impley, the little red imp. On closer inspection, it became apparent that his eight arms were actually four arms and four arm-like legs. What gave it away was the fact that he had two asses, one atop the other, with the crotches—and cocks—to go with them. He also had a face—three eyes, two mouths, four ears and one-and-a-half noses—much like Hemoth, although it was definitely more effete and had a much smaller, more groomed beard. And there was a golden band on one of his horns, which were also a lot like Hemoth’s.

“So tell me, kiddo,” he said, “what’s your name?”

I started to tell him, but he put a claw to my lips in a shushing motion.

“Not your human name, your demon name.”

“Oh.” I thought for a bit. “I’m not sure yet.”

“Kiddo it is, at least for now. If you have any trouble, talk to the crotch-mouth. He’s great at coming up with them.”

“Thanks.”

“Anyway, my name is Impley,” he told me, “and my husband over there is Hemoth.” He pointed to the behemoth who converted me.

“Husband!?” I cried.

“What, demons can’t get married?”

“Well, I guess, but he never said anything of the sort.”

“And he and I will be discussing that shortly, but right now I need to clear things up with you: We’re a package deal. You want to have one of us, you need to take both of us.”

“Then why didn’t both of you collect me together?”

“Officially, Twinkubus is the one who collected you,” Impley said. “He’s the one who had been monitoring you.”

“I see. So why didn’t he do it?”

“You’re not into twinks,” Impley said. He looked down at my wagging manhood. “Or at least, you weren’t. Reminded you too much of the body you hated, he said.”

“Well, the crotch-mouth is a hunk,” I said. “And I’m sure the dick is too.”

“But Hemoth and I are the only ones willing to pare down, as it were, and we weren’t sure if you would be amenable to a threesome.”

I thought it over. “Probably not,” I answered honestly.

“Thank you for being honest,” Impley said. “So we hammered out a compromise: He’d get first crack, then it would be my turn.”

I smiled, wide and sharp. “I can get behind that.”

Impley grinned back, wider and sharper and twice over. “I’ll have you know I can drive Hemoth delirious with just my mouths on his.”

We kissed. It was Hell! And I mean that in the good way, obviously. Impley wasn’t kidding: His lips and tongue and even teeth were magic on mine. I came at least twice, maybe three times, and he never left my mouth. His hands weren’t even doing anything! Thank Hell for small miracles.

When he finally finished, I was sat on my ass, panting and sweating profusely. Impley, the little bastard, hadn’t even broken a sweat, and had two delicious little smirks on his face. Hemoth was scowling behind him.

“He’s behind me, isn’t he?” Impley asked.

I could only nod.

The imp turned to his behemoth. “You should have thought of that before you ‘forgot’ to mention you were married.”

Hemoth started to protest, but stopped himself. He was probably gonna say something stupid like “I didn’t forget.”

“Why aren’t you wearing a ring?” I asked, because I’m a little shit, apparently. They both looked at me oddly. “I mean, Impley is,” I said by way of explanation; “why aren’t you?”

“Only one party to a marriage wears a ring,” Impley said. “I was his lieutenant in life, so I’m his wife in death.”

I blinked. “How old are you?”

“Dante had just died when we were called off to war,” Hemoth said. “We died in the battle, and spent a long while in a loop together.”

“Let me tell you, it was nothing like Dante described,” Impley cut in. “We lived through our last battle over and over again, dying in each other’s arms countless times.”

“It was Hell,” Hemoth said. “And not in the good way. But at least we had each other.”

“Eventually, we figured out we could control the loop, and started properly enjoying our confinement,” Impley continued. “It was then we discovered the true nature of the soul.”

“Wait, that was you?” I said, shocked.

“Oh, I’m sure other couples made the discovery,” Hemoth shrugged. “It’s just that we were the first to be an open couple. When Twinkubus found us, we enthusiastically agreed to a threesome.”

“He almost exploded from the power we gave him,” Impley smirked. “That was when the secret got out.”

“That consent was key,” I said.

“Ding ding ding, give the man a prize,” Hemoth replied.

I laughed.

“In any case,” Impley continued, “Twinkubus offered us an education in demonhood, we introduced him to the concept of family, and then the lot of us started spreading the gospel of consent.”

“The rest, as they say, is history,” Hemoth added.

“Did Twinkubus officiate the wedding?” I asked.

“Of course,” Impley answered. “Who else?”

“Not the sky wizard or any of his lackeys, that’s for sure,” Hemoth added.

“So, why aren’t you wearing a ring?”

They both sighed. “The man of the marriage doesn’t wear a ring,” Hemoth answered. “We both agreed I was the man.”

“But, he does,” I insisted. “At least, now he does.”

The imp and his behemoth thought this over. “You know,” Hemoth said, picking up his imp, “I’ve always hated that I don’t have a token of your affection.”

Impley grinned. “Hemoth, my beloved, do you take this imp as your lawful wedded husband?”

“I do.”

“Then you may kiss the imp.”

They kissed, soft and sweet. A golden band appeared on Hemoth’s horn, a perfect mirror to Impley’s, while Impley’s hair turned into a riotous rainbow. I had definitely started a trend.

They turned to look at me. Then they looked at each other. They had one of those silent conversations couples are known for and turned back to me. “You are, of course, cordially invited to the honeymoon,” Impley said.

They didn’t have to tell me twice!


The threesome was amazing. Hands and legs and cocks and mouths and everything everywhere all at once! I’d never be able to do it justice, but I can say it converted me to the gospel of extras. Hemoth was plowing me and I was plowing Impley when my chest and arms doubled, almost of their own accord. All three of us noticed immediately.

“Me likey,” the behemoth and the imp both said, licking their lips lasciviously and stroking my new additions hungrily.

I could feel more energy coursing through my body, concentrated in my legs and ass and glorious cock. “Oh yeah?” I challenged. “Watch this!” I let the power surge through me, doubling my lower assets completely. I now had two pairs of strong, sturdy legs, two taut, round asses and two glorious yard-long cocks!

I of course obliged my fuckmates immediately, swallowing Hemoth’s spare cock and plowing Impley’s spare ass. Their eyes rolled over to the backs of their heads and the moans they released! I swear, they could hear us on the surface!

Needless to say, they both came. I was absolutely coated in Impley’s cum and bloated with Hemoth’s. Both feelings together brought me right over the edge, and I was gushing for an hour at least.

When I finally came down from the high, the behemoth and his imp were kissing each other sweetly and dragging gentle claws all over my body, electrifying every nerve. It was nice, and kind, and just the right kind of sappy. I sighed in contentment at the gentle romance of it all.

They noticed, and turned to smile at me, all four of their mouths and all six of their eyes showing a gentle, playful mirth. I giggled, then dove in for a three-way kiss.

I let them have their upper mouths to themselves, and tickle my nose with them if they so desired, but their lower mouths were mine for the taking, and I obliged them handily. My own mouth widened and my tongue split in half, one going into Hemoth’s mouth, the other into Impley’s. What started out sweet and romantic soon got sordid and raunchy all over again as the two of them pulled my tongues deeper into their mouths and sucked them down their throats.

For my part, my tongues got harder and longer and harder still until it became very apparent to all three of us that my tongues were now two more glorious, yard-long cocks. With that realization, I came again, from all four of my new cocks.

Filled with my cum, both the imp and his behemoth pulled off my tongues and sat back to see what I would do next. My twin tongue-cocks hung limply from my lips and draped over my chest, refusing to return to their rightful place, obviously spent. I loved it, but it would get old soon.

“Hemoth, Impley,” I lisped, “be a couple of dears and massage my throat so my tongues will roll back up.”

They obliged, and cuddled up to me, and we all drifted off to sleep.

“There you are!” the crotch-mouth said, rudely awakening us. “I’ve been looking all over for you! Shame on you two lovebirds for hogging the new kid!”

“Shoo, fly, you bother me,” Hemoth moaned.

“Don’t be like that,” the crotch-mouth said. “You know I can take you. Besides, the boss wants to see ya.”

“Just because you’re a power bottom who loves taking orders,” Impley said, begrudgingly extricating himself from the cuddle puddle, “doesn’t mean we are. Stop calling him that.”

The crotch-mouth blew a raspberry. “Just get out of here, the new kid and I have gotta think up a name for him.”

“And you’re going to help him?” Hemoth asked.

“Be nice,” his imp said. “He’s actually very good at coming up with names. Too good for his own good.”

His behemoth huffed, and the two of them left to see what Twinkubus wanted with them.

Now that we were alone, I took the time to properly appreciate the face-cock, crotch-mouth hunk before me. He was, as previously stated, green—although it was closer to teal than chartreuse now; I learned later that he cycled through the color wheel continuously—with cute little horns growing from his forehead. I also saw that he had already changed his hair—head, beard and pubes—to a riotous rainbow. And his horns and claws for good measure.

What really drew the eye, of course, was that his cock and balls had switched places with his nose and mouth, while everything else was where it was supposed to be. Even his pubes and beard were in the proper locations! He was also constantly sniffing and lapping at his own crotch, which was trivially easy given where his nose and mouth were. His cock was always a little stiff and constantly leaking pre, which—since it was a standard-issue demon cock and therefore reached—soaked into his pubes, no doubt enhancing his blissful, musky existence.

“You don’t have a name?” I asked.

“I’m always coming up with something new,” he said, a little defeated. “It’s never perfect for me, but it’s often perfect for others. But enough about me! Favorite color?”

“You have to ask?” I said, gesturing over my body.

“No, but what do you call it?”

“Violet, a bluish shade of purple.”

“Good, good,” the nameless namer said. “Orientation?”

So gay.”

“What kind?”

“Uh vers, hunk, proud, what do you want?”

“Any of that will do. Anything else?”

“Anal’s nice, especially with those two, but I prefer oral.”

“Yeah, me too,” the face-cock crotch-mouth said.

“No, really?”

“Oh hush. Any kinks?” He looked over my recent acquisitions. “Besides the obvious.”

“Do these count?” I stuck my newest acquisitions out of my mouth.

“Definitely,” he said, mesmerized.

At this point, we got a little distracted as he walked toward me and thrust his face-cock in my face and started mouthing my cocks with his crotch-mouth. I obliged him whole-heartedly, and it was at least an hour of enthusiastic kissing, sucking, frotting and cumming until we could focus again.

“Ahem,” he said, licking his lips and tonguing his cock. “I think I’ve got it. How does Doubloon sound?”

“Doubloon?”

“You’ve doubled a lot of stuff, you’re big and you’re violet.”

“But doubloons are gold coins?”

“Issued by the Crown of Spain, and violet is a royal color.”

“Oh.” I thought it over. The more I did, the more I liked it. It was almost perfect, and I knew just how to make it completely perfect. I looked over my claws—fingers, toes and cocks—and smiled as they plated over with gold. “Perfect,” I announced.

“Glad I could help!”

“I feel like celebrating,” I said, grinning wide and sharp.

“Anything I can help with?” the crotch-mouth asked.

There was.


“Yo, cock-sniffer!” It was apparently the cocktopus’s turn to interrupt; “Twinkubus wants to see you.”

Fortunately, we had already completed three rounds of celebration and were slowly but not-at-all surely gearing up for a fourth, so I let the crotch-mouth go.

“I’m Cock Ock,” the cocktopus said, extending one of his cocks.

I shook it. “Doubloon,” I told him.

“The nameless namer strikes again!” Cock Ock said. “Love the look, by the way.”

“Thanks, same to you.”

He was no longer orange—specifically the reddish-brown orange that’s always associated with octopuses for some reason—but a shimmering gold with dozens of opalescent, almost fluorescent rings, each a different color of the rainbow. His cock-claws were also brightly colored to match the rings, but his close-cropped hair continued the gold-with-rainbow-rings motif. His horns pointed out and back from behind his ears, and were also gold-with-rainbow-rings, with the tips colored like his claws.

“Thanks, I modeled it off a blue ring octopus. The rainbow hair is nice, but I couldn’t help but put my own spin on it.”

“I take it you’re a fan of octopi,” I said.

“Octopodes,” he corrected. “But I’ll also accept octopuses. The word is Greek, and naturalized anyway.”

Right, one of those nerds. “Favorite supervillain?” I asked.

“Doc Ock, of course.”

“Saw that comin’ a mile away.”

He stuck out his tongue, which was surprisingly human, but continued our banter.

We ended up talking about a lot of nerd stuff and I told him about all the stuff he missed since his death. Poor guy had missed both home computers and anime. And tentacle porn, but I didn’t want to crush his spirits anymore than I already had. Suffice to say, I was gonna have to find a way to bring some stuff back with me. Which reminded me:

“Where’s my stuff?” I asked.

“Your clothes are still in the cavern you woke up in. Why?”

“Come with me,” I said, extending an arm for him to climb if he so chose; he did. “I need to check on something. And hopefully show it to you.”

“Okay.”

My pants had a busted crotch from their hasty removal, but the pockets were intact. At least, before I got my claws into them.

“Wallet, keys, phone!” I pulled it out and turned it on. Thank god I had sharp pointed claws, or I never would have been able to type the code in. “No signal. Well, duh, I’m a week underground, and in a different dimension besides.”

“That’s a phone?” Cock Ock asked.

“A cell phone. Hedy Lamarr invented them.”

“Really?”

“Well, the concept at least. Point is, you can make a phone call without a wire. Originally, it was over radio, but then it got its own dedicated network of towers. And then the devices became supercomputers.”

“That thing is tiny!”

“That’s the power of human ingenuity.” I scrolled through my downloaded stuff. “You remember Tetris?”

“Who doesn’t?”

“I’ve got Tetris on this thing, and plenty of other games on here too, new and old.”

He wrapped his cocks around the proffered device and soon the familiar russian chiptune ditty filled the cavern.

“I think my work here is done,” I said, and made to leave.

Cock Ock wrapped a spare cock around my ankle. “Oh no you don’t,” he said, not taking his eyes off his game. “I haven’t thanked you yet. And I can multitask. Did I tell you I got my five highest scores on this game while fucking my best friend?”

“Really?”

“He’s not here right now, so you’ll have to do.” He gave me a quick glance. “Not that I’m complaining.” He heaved himself over and plopped himself onto my chest. “Ass or mouth? I’m not picky.”

I sucked three of his cocks into my extra-wide, double cock-tongued mouth, lay down on the mattress, and set to work.

Needless to say, he topped his high score. Twice.


“Where’s your friend?” I asked.

“Still alive, as far as I know.”

“Oh.”

“I really do miss him,” the cocktopus said. “I really hope he didn’t change too much in my absence.” He sighed contemplatively. “I mean, it’s fine if he got married,” he added. “We were best friends, not boyfriends, and it was kind of the done thing in our day. I had a fiancee all lined up and everything.”

“What happened?”

“Jellyfish sting. I drowned. Not fun. It took me a few times around the loop to get past the pain and really enjoy myself.”

“Hence, cocktopus.”

“I do go back to my loop every now and again to enjoy a good swim,” he admitted. “Have to avoid the jellyfish, but I’m pretty good about that these days. I can’t have sex though. Knowing it’s not him takes all the fun out of it.”

“What was he like?”

“He loved Spiderman.”

“Let me guess: you guys had hero-villain roleplay?”

“Oh, yes. We even made our own costumes. Retrofitted from old Halloween costumes, but still.”

And there was another thing he missed out on: cosplay conventions. I was gonna have to track down that friend of his.

“What’s his name?” I asked.

“I’m not gonna tell you that!” the cocktopus said.

“What’s he look like, then?”

He glared at me.

“I promise I won’t ask him for his name,” I said.

And then he softened, and started talking.


It was a few hours of blissful reminiscence on his part before the next guy had his turn.

“Ahem,” the ooze said.

“Gah!” I cried. “You can talk?”

“Why shouldn’t I?”

“I mean…”

“Let me guess,” Cock Ock cut in, “Twinkubus needs to talk to me?”

“You’ve got it!”

“Be nice to him, Cumpool, he’s still new.”

“When am I not nice?”

Cock Ock rolled his eyes and clambered off to talk to the over-twink.

I was left alone with the living puddle of spooge. Well, he wasn’t really a puddle. More of a pile. A mound. A heap. There was no mistaking him for anything but semen, though.

I blinked. He blinked back. I’m not sure how a slime can blink, but he did.

“So,” he said. “You gonna ask?”

“Not really,” I said. “You’d be surprised how freaky porn can get these days. This is pretty mild in comparison.”

“Thank Hell!” Cumpool said. “Everyone always asks why I would do this to myself. Even Twinkubus! Oh sure, a giant dick is just fine, and an octopus with cocks for tentacles, and a guy with his mouth in his crotch and his cock on his face, but a pool of cum? How strange! How queer! How disgusting!”

“Not gonna lie, it is a bit off-putting, but you do you.”

“Off-putting how?”

“How do you get off?” I asked.

He grinned. I’m not sure how an ooze can grin, but he did. “May I show you?”

“Sure, I guess.”

Cumpool slid up to me surprisingly quickly, and soon started worming his way up my cocks. Surprised, my cock-tongues sprang out of my mouth and he started in on those too. As he did so, my balls started swelling up, including the hidden ones I didn’t know I had in my throat. Within seconds, the living pool of cum was completely inside me, churning in my engorged balls.

Slightly off balance, I sat down hard on both my asses and just lay there, helpless as six maelstroms swirled in my balls. And then it was over. Cumpool was splattered all around the room, as obviously spent as I was, and I just lay there as Cumpool slowly coalesced over the next few hours.

“That’s how,” he panted.

I’m not sure how a goo can pant, but he did.


“Had some fun, I see,” Dickard said.

“Twinkubus wants to see him?” I asked.

“No, I do. Twinkubus got me a hot date and I need a hot load.”

“And you thought of me?” Cumpool said. “How nice.” The ooze pulled himself together, slithered down the giant cock’s throat and landed in his balls with a splash. “Who’s it with?” he asked from inside, slightly muffled.

“Soixante-Neuf.”

“Bien.”

I snickered. Some memes really are universal.

“Anyway, I’m Dickard,” the big black dick said. “I’d shake hands but, you know, don’t have any.”

“Doubloon,” I said.

“Yeah, the face-cock told me. Good choice.”

“Did he name you too?”

“He actually came up with the much more subtle Richard, but I thought, ‘I’m a giant dick, who needs subtle?’”

“How true,” I commented. And was he giant! Almost as tall as me, not counting the horns. Those horns protruded from his temples and were long, and thick, and curved, and joined at the tips, and had a metallic gleam. Really, the way they lay against his head was reminiscent more of a Prince Albert than of a demon’s horns, and a later play session confirmed that they rotated freely.

His head and beard were shaved, but his base had a bush of pubic hair that had, once again, become a riotous rainbow. There were also a few wisps of hair around his balls—the size of yoga balls at least—that were picked out by the color contrast. His neck had a ruff of foreskin around it, and his veins were traced out in chocolate brown, in contrast to the deep ebon black of the rest of his skin.

“Tell me, do you shrink to fit your fuck mates, or do your fuck mates grow to fit you?”

“Neither, really,” Dickard said. “I stretch them out over me. My pre/spit/lube makes demon flesh very malleable, almost rubbery.”

My cocks twitched.

“When is this hot date?” I asked.

“Not for a few hours,” Dickard said. “Why?”

“Really, Dickard?” Cumpool said. “I can smell his want from in here. And I can’t smell!”

“Ohhhhh!” Dickard looked me over. His eyes glazed. “Bend over,” he said.

I obliged, and then he bent over and started lapping at my lower hole. I could feel the pre/spit/lube start working, my flesh tingling, my ass softening. I squirmed into it, and he actually backed off.

“You’re a first timer,” he explained. “You need to know what to expect before you rush into this. Stay still, let me lead, and we can do this, got it?”

“Yes sir,” I said.

Dickard resumed. My ass felt amazing and he wasn’t even inside me yet! He lapped at my hole for what seemed like hours, but was probably only minutes. And normally a rimjob would be nothing but off-putting to me, but I barely even thought about what the anus was meant for that time. Probably because I haven’t needed to use it for that function since I fell. That and the fact that Dickard was, in fact, a cock.

Anyway, Dickard was soon nuzzling into me properly, and suddenly my ass was sucking at his chin and nose. I moaned in ecstasy, and Dickard went even deeper. My ass swallowed his head whole, and soon his foreskin was tickling my ass. I could feel his head in my guts, and caressed him through my skin. He moaned appreciatively, and I moaned at the electrifying vibrations that coursed through me.

He kept pushing as I held firm. The ring of his horns jostled suddenly, and another wave of pleasure coursed through me. Soon his head was up to my second crotch, and still he pushed on. I looked back and saw that he was about to lift off the ground, so I kneeled heavily, and his balls dropped over my feet. He grunted inside me, frying my nerves again, but pushed on. He was up to my abs now, and starting to squish my lungs out of the way.

I took a deep breath and waited for him to squeeze onward, and luckily, he did. He filled both my chests in quick succession, and then he was sticking his tongue up my throat. His pre/spit/lube welled up in my mouth, and then I felt a familiar maelstrom churning in his balls, banging against my ass.

“Do it!” I begged, drowning in pre. “Please!”

And so Dickard came, splattering Cumpool over the cavern once again.

“Whoa” was all I could say.

We stayed that way for an hour or two, just basking in the afterglow, before Dickard started pulling out and Cumpool slid back into his balls.

“Thanks,” I said dumbly.

“Anytime,” he said.

He was gone for several minutes before I thought to say, “I’m gonna hold you to that.”

 

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